Your Secret's Safe With Me
Don't tell me this thing's loaded
“I think John likes you,” Lynn whispered in her sister’s ear. The two of them snickered in unison as they sat on a beach towel in front of the water, Lynn trying different hairstyles on Lily while sat, content in the sun.
“And why do you think that, chwaer?” she asked, though by the tone of her voice it was obvious that she knew the answer. He hadn’t stopped staring at her all afternoon.
“Because of the way he acts around you, Lily! It’s so obvious. But the real question is, do you like him?”
“Oh.. definitely not,” she laughed, watching as John was dunked underwater by his friends. “Poor guy can’t even keep his head above water.”
“Uh, he’s not the only one, babe,” Lynn replied in a patronizing tone, hinting at something that Lily didn’t like the sound of. “Maybe he just needs a little.. swimming lesson?”
Huh. Very funny pun, Lynn.
Not gonna happen.
“Just go back to playing with my hair,” Lily scoffed, reaching down and grabbing a fistful of sand before letting it fall through her fingers. It felt therapeutic, the way each grain of sand sifted through her grip; this was how she occupied herself that afternoon. It felt good not to talk to anyone and not have to put on a fake smile or continue a fake conversation.
She almost felt like she was leading a fake life: she didn’t belong here. Not with these people, not on this beach, and not in Arizona. She was a liar and a thief, and no one else knew that. They were being real with her, but she didn’t even have the ability to return that genuineness.
But she had to keep reminding herself that living like this was a million times better than Detroit.
And that in itself was enough to make a smile work its way onto her lips.
***
“Hey, how’s my girl doin’?” Tim asked, grinning widely as he hooked his arm around her neck, pulling her in for a hug.
“Um, I’m fine, Tim?” she laughed, extricating herself from him. He smelled like sweat and beer.
It was their second night camping, and Lily was relieved; they were going home tomorrow. She’d be able to start looking for a job, maybe a car -and maybe even think about changing their last name. She couldn’t stand the idea that someone could be searching for her and her siblings, and a new name was a surefire way to stay safe, right? Though she didn’t know if she’d be able to distance themselves from their mother like that. Their Welsh name was the last thing they had that was theirs.
“You’re being so quiet, Lil,” Tim slurred, focusing her thoughts on him again.
“I’m always this quiet, Timmy.” Which was true. But night had fallen -with all its stars on display above her- and she could get away with acting closed off. Everyone would blame it on being tired or intoxicated.
“I just called Luke, he’s doing fine,” Lynn said to her sister, sitting down next to her at the campfire.
“So you guys have another brother?” someone a few seats down from them asked. Tessa. Lily hated to admit it, but she was such a nice girl. Easy to get along with. And gorgeous, at that.
“Yeah, he’s only seventeen. We’ve gotta enroll him in school before summer ends. You guys know any good schools?” Lynn answered.
“You could take him to my old school,” Tim replied. “JohnO’s brothers go there!”
“Yeah, my brother Ross is gonna be a senior. We could introduce them, that way your brother at least knows someone,” John spoke up, and Lynn instantly agreed. She was way better at playing mom than Lily ever would be. Lily just cared about getting shit taken care of; Lynn could do the details.
That night, as everyone shuffled into their tents, Lynn zipped the tent door behind her and flopped onto her sleeping bag next to Lily’s. They could hear all of the boys still laughing outside the tent.
“He definitely likes you,” Lynn smirked when they heard John’s husky chuckle.
“Yeah, whatever.”
“Lily! This is exciting! Don’t you care?”
“Not really,” she said, sighing into the dark, hot air. Camping in Arizona was one thing, but camping in Arizona in the summer? Not pleasant. Lily felt like suffocating from the heat already, and they’d only lived there for a month.
“Let’s at least have some fun with this,” Lynn whined, mischief in her voice.
“And what did you have in mind, chwaer?” Lily asked.
A sly smile grew on both of their faces as Lynn revealed her idea of fun.
The Langsley twins weren’t much, but if they were good at anything, it was causing trouble.
“And why do you think that, chwaer?” she asked, though by the tone of her voice it was obvious that she knew the answer. He hadn’t stopped staring at her all afternoon.
“Because of the way he acts around you, Lily! It’s so obvious. But the real question is, do you like him?”
“Oh.. definitely not,” she laughed, watching as John was dunked underwater by his friends. “Poor guy can’t even keep his head above water.”
“Uh, he’s not the only one, babe,” Lynn replied in a patronizing tone, hinting at something that Lily didn’t like the sound of. “Maybe he just needs a little.. swimming lesson?”
Huh. Very funny pun, Lynn.
Not gonna happen.
“Just go back to playing with my hair,” Lily scoffed, reaching down and grabbing a fistful of sand before letting it fall through her fingers. It felt therapeutic, the way each grain of sand sifted through her grip; this was how she occupied herself that afternoon. It felt good not to talk to anyone and not have to put on a fake smile or continue a fake conversation.
She almost felt like she was leading a fake life: she didn’t belong here. Not with these people, not on this beach, and not in Arizona. She was a liar and a thief, and no one else knew that. They were being real with her, but she didn’t even have the ability to return that genuineness.
But she had to keep reminding herself that living like this was a million times better than Detroit.
And that in itself was enough to make a smile work its way onto her lips.
***
“Hey, how’s my girl doin’?” Tim asked, grinning widely as he hooked his arm around her neck, pulling her in for a hug.
“Um, I’m fine, Tim?” she laughed, extricating herself from him. He smelled like sweat and beer.
It was their second night camping, and Lily was relieved; they were going home tomorrow. She’d be able to start looking for a job, maybe a car -and maybe even think about changing their last name. She couldn’t stand the idea that someone could be searching for her and her siblings, and a new name was a surefire way to stay safe, right? Though she didn’t know if she’d be able to distance themselves from their mother like that. Their Welsh name was the last thing they had that was theirs.
“You’re being so quiet, Lil,” Tim slurred, focusing her thoughts on him again.
“I’m always this quiet, Timmy.” Which was true. But night had fallen -with all its stars on display above her- and she could get away with acting closed off. Everyone would blame it on being tired or intoxicated.
“I just called Luke, he’s doing fine,” Lynn said to her sister, sitting down next to her at the campfire.
“So you guys have another brother?” someone a few seats down from them asked. Tessa. Lily hated to admit it, but she was such a nice girl. Easy to get along with. And gorgeous, at that.
“Yeah, he’s only seventeen. We’ve gotta enroll him in school before summer ends. You guys know any good schools?” Lynn answered.
“You could take him to my old school,” Tim replied. “JohnO’s brothers go there!”
“Yeah, my brother Ross is gonna be a senior. We could introduce them, that way your brother at least knows someone,” John spoke up, and Lynn instantly agreed. She was way better at playing mom than Lily ever would be. Lily just cared about getting shit taken care of; Lynn could do the details.
That night, as everyone shuffled into their tents, Lynn zipped the tent door behind her and flopped onto her sleeping bag next to Lily’s. They could hear all of the boys still laughing outside the tent.
“He definitely likes you,” Lynn smirked when they heard John’s husky chuckle.
“Yeah, whatever.”
“Lily! This is exciting! Don’t you care?”
“Not really,” she said, sighing into the dark, hot air. Camping in Arizona was one thing, but camping in Arizona in the summer? Not pleasant. Lily felt like suffocating from the heat already, and they’d only lived there for a month.
“Let’s at least have some fun with this,” Lynn whined, mischief in her voice.
“And what did you have in mind, chwaer?” Lily asked.
A sly smile grew on both of their faces as Lynn revealed her idea of fun.
The Langsley twins weren’t much, but if they were good at anything, it was causing trouble.