Cry for the Moon

Hands grabbed onto me and I fought against them, trying to push them away. I saw nothing but an endless black and in the far off distance I could hear a voice sound out. I tried to turn to get away from the hands, but they just pulled me back.

Different memories plagued me; first, there was a blur of light and a looming shadow crept towards me, accompanied by the sound of footsteps. Second, I found myself face first on snow covered asphalt, and then, I was lying on a bathroom floor when a sharp pain radiated suddenly from my back.

Just when I thought the hands had left me, they took hold again and I felt my body shake. The voice called again, this time a bit closer, but I still couldn’t hear it. Terror was setting in now. I didn’t know what was going on so I fought back trying desperately to get away from whatever it was that was after me.

My body was trembling now as more memories came to mind. I tried to get back to the darkness I’d seen before, but that only made things worse. The hands were relentless and I was losing the energy to fight them. As my strength wore out, an arm wrapped around me and I was pulled towards something. I felt a calming warmth against me and I tried to get away, but I couldn’t.

The voice sounded again, closer than ever before, but I still couldn’t understand it. My vision was getting lighter, but I just wanted to get back to the void of emotionless, peaceful black,

“No, let go of me!” My voice came out weaker than I cared for and I tried again and again to get away from whatever was holding me.

“Ana… Analii!” The voice was clear now and my vision changed suddenly, turning black this time, but it was different and I feared that I would relive another of the memories that I’d locked deep inside me mind.

I shot up, letting out a choked scream. I found myself in darkness, but yet, there was just enough light to cast shadows. My heart was pounding in my chest and I struggled to get air to my lungs.

A hand rested on my back and I jumped, spinning around, wide eyed. Thomas was there next to me, worry evident in his eyes.

“Ana…” I burst into tears, but just as quickly as they started to fall, I wiped them away. Thomas reached out for me and I tried to shrug him off, but he pulled me to him. I wiped away at my tears again, forcing them back. Thomas wrapped his arms around me in a tight, comforting embrace and I clung to him.

I tensed up my muscles, trying to keep my body from shaking. The more I tried, the more I trembled. Instead, I focused on getting my heartbeat under control. I was able to calm myself slightly, but I was still shaking and my breathing was unsteady.

“Analii,” Thomas whispered. I didn’t reply. I just looked down blankly at my hands.

“Analii,” Thomas called again.

“What,” I snapped bitterly. I always expected my nightmare and Thomas was always there for me and he was always able to calm me down, but I hated it when this happened because I always knew what he was thinking.

”Ana, what happened that night,” he questioned bluntly as if he’d read my mind. I looked up at him, sending him a death glare. He knew I hated it when he asked me that. He also knew I wouldn’t tell him or anyone else.

“That’s not important and you know I won’t tell you,” I answered harshly, letting go of him.

“It is too important if whatever happened terrified you so much.”

”It doesn’t bother me that much,” I retorted.

“Oh, yeah,” Thomas started, letting go of me.

“Please explain to me why it makes you wake up screaming and why you’re still shaking now.” I scoffed, getting up. Thomas grabbed onto my hand, but I yanked it away from him.

“What does it matter to you anyway,” I snapped. Once the words left my mouth, I realized how stupid my question was. I already knew the answer; Thomas and I had, had this conversation before.

“What does it matter to me? Someone put you within inches of life and I have no idea why,” he replied, the harsh tone of his voice making my cringe.

”So what,” I snapped. “It’s not like I can change what happened. It’s in the past, it’s not important.”

“It is important,” Thomas persisted “It still affects you so much.” I threw up my hands in defeat and aggravation.

“What do you want me to say, Thomas? Do you want me to tell you that I don’t like to go to sleep because I’m afraid of what I’ll see when I close my eyes? Do you want me to tell you that I deserved everything that happened to me that night?”

“You didn’t deserve to be hurt like that,” Thomas replied quietly.

“How would you know, huh?” I questioned. Thomas narrowed his eyes at me, clearly getting angry.

“I wouldn’t know because you won’t tell me what happened,” he snapped, the volume of his voice rising slightly.

“Why is it so damn important that you know,” I asked quietly, not wanting our argument to get any louder. It was too late in the night for that.

“I want to help you,” he replied.

“I don’t need your help.” Thomas let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. I could tell he was starting to get pissed off, but he was trying to hide it.

“Analii, you’re not realizing how much this is affecting,” he answered.

“Oh, believe me, Thomas. I know what it’s doing to me,” I replied.

“Do you? I have to watch you everyday and I can see how tired you are, how much it hurts your and it kills me to know there’s nothing I can do to help you,” Thomas explained. I looked down at my feet, realizing that he wasn’t just talking about me. I knew it bothered him to know that I was dealing with all of this alone, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t tell anyone.

“Thomas, you don’t have to-“

“Yes, I do,” he interrupted.

“Let me finish my sentence,” I retorted. Thomas nodded.

“You don’t have to do anything. Everything is easier to deal with knowing that you’ll be there for me,” I explained

“That’s not enough.”

“That’s all I want.”

“I hate seeing you suffer like this,” he replied. I let out a light laugh, smiling.

“I’m not suffering, Thomas. It’s just something I have to live with. I appreciate that you care so much, though,” I replied, walking over to him. I wrapped my arms around him in a hug. He slowly returned it.

“What am I going to do with you, Analii Ariejen,” Thomas laughed sleepily.

“You’ll just have to live with me, I suppose.”

“That’s okay,” he replied. “Life with you in it is entertaining. You drive Casey nuts.”

“Yes, I do.”

.X.

I sighed, lying my head on my arms which were folded together on the countertop. Thomas, who sat next to me, yawned. Roy laughed quietly.

“Looks like you guys missed a few hours of sleep,” Roy spoke up. He was in a rather good mood this morning for some reason. I assumed it had something to do with the fact that he’d actually been able to sleep last night.

“Mhm,” I hummed, closing my eyes.

“You could say that,” Thomas replied.

“We’re going over to Mark’s again today, so…” Thomas trailed off and I absentmindedly smiled.

“Whoa, Roy, did you see that,” Thomas questioned. I opened my eyes to see that he was looking at me.

“Yeah, her eyes lit up when you said Mark’s name,” Roy answered, sending me a smirk. I was too tired to bother with glaring at him. Instead, I just ignored them both.

“Shut up,” I grumbled, referring to the fact that I was trying to sleep.

“What,” Thomas asked. “You want to see Mark, don’t you?” I smiled again against my wishes.

“There it goes again, Thomas!” Roy teased. This time, I glared at him.

“Someone’s got a crush on Mark,” Thomas chimed in a sing song voice.

"Shut up!" I yelled, realized that I was blushing. I tried desperately, using every muscle possible in my face to stop smiling. My efforts were in vain, because the more they teased, the worse my blush got.

I covered my ears, trying to tune them out, and then, I laid eyes on the bowl of pancake batter sitting across from me. Roy noticed this and lunged forward to pull it out of my grasp, but I was quicker. I grabbed the spoon and flung it in Thomas' direction. The pancake mix hit him right in the face but it also hit Glenn who was standing behind Thomas. He must've been quiet when he'd come up from the basement because none of us had noticed him until now. Glenn, who looked half asleep, reached up slowly, rubbing pancake mix away from his eyes.

"I got up because I smelled food, but maybe I should've stayed on the couch," Glenn said finally. Thomas let out a laugh as he wiped batter off his face.

"Have a seat, Glenn. We're just tormenting Analii."

"Tormenting her about what," Glenn asked quietly as he sat down next to me.

"Nothing," I grumbled, taking a drink of my apple juice.

"We're tormenting her about her crush on Mark," Roy answered, speaking quickly.

"Shut up," I snapped again, sending him a death glare. Glenn nudged me, grinning and I thought he was going to start teasing me too.

"Don't even think about it," I warned. Glenn shook his head.

"I'm not," he started. "But you can torment these two about the fact they both slipped on the same patch of ice pretty much one after the other yesterday," Glenn explained. I burst out laughing while Thomas and Roy glared at Glenn.

"Traitor," Roy snapped. Glenn put a hand up in defense.

"No, I'm just evening out the playing field," Glenn replied.

"Yeah, and that makes you a traitor!" Thomas declared.

"The game's not interesting if everyone knows who has the upperhand."

"I'm sorry to say Glenn, but I think Thomas and I have the upperhand, still," Roy replied as he finished up cooking breakfast.

"Don't be so sure of that," I laughed. "If your wives find out about that, you'll never be able to live it down." Roy and Thomas looked at me with serious expressions.

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"Okay," Roy said finally. "We're even, Analii."

"Good to know," I replied.

"Who wants to go wake up Casey," Thomas asked. I got up, grinning evilly.

"I will," I answered. "Time for a wake up call."