Dear Darlin'
Dear Darlin'
Tibby,
I know what I've done, and there is no excuse for that. I just want you to know I'm sorry. I'm not asking for you to come back, I just need you to know, your my everything. Your gone now and your not coming back, ever, I need to accept that and move on. So this is the last you'll hear from me. Goodbye my love.
Dear darlin’, please excuse my writing.
I can’t stop my hands from shaking
'Cause I’m cold and alone tonight.
I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.
And no one understands what we went through.
It was short. It was sweet. We tried.
I read the words over and over. I'd opened my flat door no more then 30 minutes ago to the letter. The letter from him. We'd broken up a month ago, everyday was a struggle, I thought about going back but I'd never heard tell of him since we broke up, I thought he was over me. Some days I thought I was over him other days he was all I could think of. His face was everywhere, through the magazines, in shop windows, his voice on the radio. The news of our break up was still all over the news. People where guessing what happened, they were all wrong. We were madly in love so in love but his constant travelling, his career, it was tearing us apart. The fans were nothing but supportive, if Olly was happy they were happy. We were happy but then rumours started to spread.
Olly Murs caught kiss a girl clearly not his girlfriend in night club. This is what I woke to on Twitter. The fans had been sending me many messages on Twitter saying how sorry they where and hoping that it was just rumours.
@Tibby_Jaclyn I hope the rumours about Olly are not true
@Tibby_Jaclyn Remember photoshop don't believe a thing until you talk with him
@Tibby_Jaclyn Where here for you girl DM us any time
I tweeted back for everyone not to worry I would talk with Olly when he got back from tour. He was due to be back today that's the only reason he would be out drinking last night. I sat on the couch and waited for him to walk in the door of our Loft. We had called the Loft home for almost 6 months now. When we first moved in it was falling apart and need fresh paint and a clean. We had to completely replace the kitchen. But we done it together, we painted the walls light brown because we agreed white was to over used. We brought new furniture for the place and used old furniture as well. We built us a beautiful home just for the two of us. I sat staring out the window trying to find what I would say. I brought from my thoughts by the sound of the front door opening.
“Tib I'm home” Olly walked in bag in hand smile plastered on his face
“Please tell me it's not true” I let a tear slide
“What do you mean, love?” He asked
“The girl last night the one who your photographed kissing” I raised my voice slightly
“Shit” Olly dropped his bag and joined me on the lounge
“Tell me you didn't” I sobbed
“I'm so sorry” Olly tried to hug me
“Don't touch me” I stood up
“Babe listen it was a once off, I know it's no excuse but I had a bit to much to drink”
“Did you sleep with her?” I asked getting quite angry
“Excuse me” Olly asked
“Did you fuck her Olly” I yelled in his face
“I..I don't remember” Olly was clearly lying
“You did, didn't you? How could I not see this come? Your big now and you can get in the pants of any girl you want, so tell me how many more are there?” I yelled
“It was a once off I swear” Olly yelled back
“I don't believe you Oliver” I yelled
“Why would I destroy us? Everything I do I do for us? Can't you see that? Or are you too damn stubborn?” Olly yelled
“Me? Stubborn? I'm not the sleep around I've been nothing but faithful to you”
“Faithful? You've been faithful?” Olly yelled “Then whose the guy you've had here in our home?”
“How did you know about that?” I was taken back
“Ah so you've been cheating too” Olly yelled
“No, his my friend Olly, he broke up with his Girlfriend and I've been help him through” I rose my voice again
“By fucking him I bet” He yelled
“No he comes around when he needs to talk we have tea and talk”
“What's his name?” Olly rubbed his temples
“Harry Styles” I said
That was the last thing said before I grabbed my jacket and left. I went straight to Harry's and stayed with him for a few weeks until I got a place of my own.
I had to go see Olly. I folded the letter up and put it in my back pocket. I grabbed my keys off the bench and left. I began to drive the familiar streets back to the Loft. The radio was softly playing, it wasn't until I heard his name I actually listened. The announcer spoke about a new song just released by Olly Murs I turned up the radio to listen to it. As the words left the speakers I remembered what he wrote on the bottom of the letter. They where song lyrics he wrote me a song. I pulled over and listened to the song. I could hear it in his voice, when he sung he let his emotions take over. I broke down, I started to cry. The only thing I could think of was when we finally finished the Loft.
It had been a long day. We had re-arranged furniture until we were happy with how everything looked and we had unpacked boxes of clothes, plates, cup and other odds and ends that we had left. We hung numerous pictures and made the Loft a home. At the end of it all we were tired, it had been rough few weeks but finally we were done. I went for a quick shower and when I returned Olly was laying on our bed, hands behind his head staring at the ceiling. I crossed the room and crawled up onto the bed. I rested my head on his chest, one of his arms quickly finding it's way around me. I closed my eyes and listened to Olly's heart beat. It was like a melody, putting me to sleep. Olly knew I was tired so he began to sing. He sung Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. His singing caused his chest to vibrate. I sighed and let myself slip off to sleep. I could always listen to him sing another day.
I wiped my eyes and turned the engine on again, continuing my drive. It didn't take me long to find myself standing outside his Loft again. I made my way, into the foyer. I walked over the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor where the loft is. As it reached the top I began to have second thoughts. What if I find him sleeping with another girl in the bed we use to share? Or what if his letter was a suicide note and he was dead in the Loft? I shook the thoughts from my head and exited the elevator which had arrived at the top floor. I walked over to the loft door, I raised my fist to knock on the door but was stop by what I heard on the other side.
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
I couldn't bear to listen any more. I opened the door with the key I kept just in case I ever had to return. I stood in the door tears in my eyes. I looked across at Olly taking in his appearance. He was clean and tidy. His usual stubble was now growing into a beard, he had black rings around his eyes from not sleeping and most likely drinking, his usually tidy brown hair was messy and dirty. He looked like he hadn't showered in days. Empty booze bottles littered the floor, just confirming what I had thought. Olly was visibly shocked to see me. I reached behind me and pulled out the letter holding it up so he could see.
“Hear me out” I said through tears “I read your letter, I heard the song, I'm only here because I love you dammit I love you so much more then I should right now, it's been hell without you, I've spent so many nights crying myself to sleep waiting to hear you sing to me again, I want to try us again, I'm willing to forget what happened if you are, I'm not saying I'm going to be able to trust you completely straight away that's something you'll have to work on regaining, but I need you right now, I need you to hold me and tell me we're going to get better”
“Tibby your my world, what I did I would never do on purpose and I will never do again, I'm happy with just you, I'm complete with you, without you my world is dark, I know I need to regain your trust and I'll work hard to prove myself to you”
“I've missed you Olly”
“I've missed you too Tib”
Without a second thought I ran into his arms. It just felt right, felt like home. Olly placed two fingers beneath my chin forcing me to look up at him. He capture my lips with his. It was a soft, loving kiss. But it was all I needed to know he was telling the truth.
I know what I've done, and there is no excuse for that. I just want you to know I'm sorry. I'm not asking for you to come back, I just need you to know, your my everything. Your gone now and your not coming back, ever, I need to accept that and move on. So this is the last you'll hear from me. Goodbye my love.
Dear darlin’, please excuse my writing.
I can’t stop my hands from shaking
'Cause I’m cold and alone tonight.
I miss you and nothing hurts like no you.
And no one understands what we went through.
It was short. It was sweet. We tried.
I read the words over and over. I'd opened my flat door no more then 30 minutes ago to the letter. The letter from him. We'd broken up a month ago, everyday was a struggle, I thought about going back but I'd never heard tell of him since we broke up, I thought he was over me. Some days I thought I was over him other days he was all I could think of. His face was everywhere, through the magazines, in shop windows, his voice on the radio. The news of our break up was still all over the news. People where guessing what happened, they were all wrong. We were madly in love so in love but his constant travelling, his career, it was tearing us apart. The fans were nothing but supportive, if Olly was happy they were happy. We were happy but then rumours started to spread.
Olly Murs caught kiss a girl clearly not his girlfriend in night club. This is what I woke to on Twitter. The fans had been sending me many messages on Twitter saying how sorry they where and hoping that it was just rumours.
@Tibby_Jaclyn I hope the rumours about Olly are not true
@Tibby_Jaclyn Remember photoshop don't believe a thing until you talk with him
@Tibby_Jaclyn Where here for you girl DM us any time
I tweeted back for everyone not to worry I would talk with Olly when he got back from tour. He was due to be back today that's the only reason he would be out drinking last night. I sat on the couch and waited for him to walk in the door of our Loft. We had called the Loft home for almost 6 months now. When we first moved in it was falling apart and need fresh paint and a clean. We had to completely replace the kitchen. But we done it together, we painted the walls light brown because we agreed white was to over used. We brought new furniture for the place and used old furniture as well. We built us a beautiful home just for the two of us. I sat staring out the window trying to find what I would say. I brought from my thoughts by the sound of the front door opening.
“Tib I'm home” Olly walked in bag in hand smile plastered on his face
“Please tell me it's not true” I let a tear slide
“What do you mean, love?” He asked
“The girl last night the one who your photographed kissing” I raised my voice slightly
“Shit” Olly dropped his bag and joined me on the lounge
“Tell me you didn't” I sobbed
“I'm so sorry” Olly tried to hug me
“Don't touch me” I stood up
“Babe listen it was a once off, I know it's no excuse but I had a bit to much to drink”
“Did you sleep with her?” I asked getting quite angry
“Excuse me” Olly asked
“Did you fuck her Olly” I yelled in his face
“I..I don't remember” Olly was clearly lying
“You did, didn't you? How could I not see this come? Your big now and you can get in the pants of any girl you want, so tell me how many more are there?” I yelled
“It was a once off I swear” Olly yelled back
“I don't believe you Oliver” I yelled
“Why would I destroy us? Everything I do I do for us? Can't you see that? Or are you too damn stubborn?” Olly yelled
“Me? Stubborn? I'm not the sleep around I've been nothing but faithful to you”
“Faithful? You've been faithful?” Olly yelled “Then whose the guy you've had here in our home?”
“How did you know about that?” I was taken back
“Ah so you've been cheating too” Olly yelled
“No, his my friend Olly, he broke up with his Girlfriend and I've been help him through” I rose my voice again
“By fucking him I bet” He yelled
“No he comes around when he needs to talk we have tea and talk”
“What's his name?” Olly rubbed his temples
“Harry Styles” I said
That was the last thing said before I grabbed my jacket and left. I went straight to Harry's and stayed with him for a few weeks until I got a place of my own.
I had to go see Olly. I folded the letter up and put it in my back pocket. I grabbed my keys off the bench and left. I began to drive the familiar streets back to the Loft. The radio was softly playing, it wasn't until I heard his name I actually listened. The announcer spoke about a new song just released by Olly Murs I turned up the radio to listen to it. As the words left the speakers I remembered what he wrote on the bottom of the letter. They where song lyrics he wrote me a song. I pulled over and listened to the song. I could hear it in his voice, when he sung he let his emotions take over. I broke down, I started to cry. The only thing I could think of was when we finally finished the Loft.
It had been a long day. We had re-arranged furniture until we were happy with how everything looked and we had unpacked boxes of clothes, plates, cup and other odds and ends that we had left. We hung numerous pictures and made the Loft a home. At the end of it all we were tired, it had been rough few weeks but finally we were done. I went for a quick shower and when I returned Olly was laying on our bed, hands behind his head staring at the ceiling. I crossed the room and crawled up onto the bed. I rested my head on his chest, one of his arms quickly finding it's way around me. I closed my eyes and listened to Olly's heart beat. It was like a melody, putting me to sleep. Olly knew I was tired so he began to sing. He sung Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. His singing caused his chest to vibrate. I sighed and let myself slip off to sleep. I could always listen to him sing another day.
I wiped my eyes and turned the engine on again, continuing my drive. It didn't take me long to find myself standing outside his Loft again. I made my way, into the foyer. I walked over the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor where the loft is. As it reached the top I began to have second thoughts. What if I find him sleeping with another girl in the bed we use to share? Or what if his letter was a suicide note and he was dead in the Loft? I shook the thoughts from my head and exited the elevator which had arrived at the top floor. I walked over to the loft door, I raised my fist to knock on the door but was stop by what I heard on the other side.
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
I couldn't bear to listen any more. I opened the door with the key I kept just in case I ever had to return. I stood in the door tears in my eyes. I looked across at Olly taking in his appearance. He was clean and tidy. His usual stubble was now growing into a beard, he had black rings around his eyes from not sleeping and most likely drinking, his usually tidy brown hair was messy and dirty. He looked like he hadn't showered in days. Empty booze bottles littered the floor, just confirming what I had thought. Olly was visibly shocked to see me. I reached behind me and pulled out the letter holding it up so he could see.
“Hear me out” I said through tears “I read your letter, I heard the song, I'm only here because I love you dammit I love you so much more then I should right now, it's been hell without you, I've spent so many nights crying myself to sleep waiting to hear you sing to me again, I want to try us again, I'm willing to forget what happened if you are, I'm not saying I'm going to be able to trust you completely straight away that's something you'll have to work on regaining, but I need you right now, I need you to hold me and tell me we're going to get better”
“Tibby your my world, what I did I would never do on purpose and I will never do again, I'm happy with just you, I'm complete with you, without you my world is dark, I know I need to regain your trust and I'll work hard to prove myself to you”
“I've missed you Olly”
“I've missed you too Tib”
Without a second thought I ran into his arms. It just felt right, felt like home. Olly placed two fingers beneath my chin forcing me to look up at him. He capture my lips with his. It was a soft, loving kiss. But it was all I needed to know he was telling the truth.