Status: Some aren't at all like they seem.

The Unforgettable

Let's Pretend We're Okay for Tonight

“You’re home!” he says surprised and relieved.

I check my phone as I close the door behind me. It’s only 12:03 pm.

“You’re supposed to be at work,” I say blankly.

“I was too worried to go to work. I wanted to be here when you returned.”

“Huh,” is all I say as I walk past him into the kitchen.

He stands there looking all dejected as he watches me grab a bottle of water from the fridge.

“Gianna,” he says as he takes long strides over to me. “We need to talk.”

I take a swig, swallow and shake my head. “No we don’t.”

“We do, there’s obvious tension between us, if we talk about it mayb-”

“No. We don’t have to talk about anything at all.”

He’s begging me for mercy with his eyes. “Fine we don’t need to talk, but can we?”

I stare at him. I stare at the disheveled mess that is his hair. I stare at the sick puppy dog expression written upon his face. I stare at the nervous vibes his body gives off and I sigh. I sigh, because I know I’m about to give in and I look down at the floor.

“Let’s talk then,” I say finally.

He hurriedly walks over to the couch and sits down beckoning me to sit next to him. I take my time getting to him and I sit on the complete opposite end. He looks at me as if he’s expecting some miracle to happen.

After a few seconds I say, “Well say something Chris.”

He nods and takes a breath. “I- I can’t stand it Anna. I miss you, I miss us. It’s only been two days since we talked about the awful mistake I made and it feels like it’s been weeks. I’m sorry. I don’t know how many more times I can say ‘I’m sorry’. I don’t know what else I can do to show you how sorry I am.”

He wants me to say something back, but I don’t.

“Tell me what to do. Tell me what will make things right.”

“Nothing,” I simply say.

“Nothing?!” he exclaims. “Nothing at all? How do I regain your trust then? How do we get our marriage back to the way things were?”

“I don’t know." I'm getting frustrated. "I didn’t do anything wrong, I didn’t break our bond or trust, you did! So I’m not the one that should figure out how to fix things. I don’t know what to tell you, I don’t know how you’re going to regain my trust. Perhaps you won’t and perhaps our marriage won’t go back to the way things were. Maybe our marriage is over.”

“No. No, no, no, no, no,” he says swiftly. “Don’t say that. How could you say that? Gianna!” He yells. “I could’ve kept this all to myself and you would’ve never known, but I didn’t. I felt I needed to tell you, does that not count for something? I wanted to and did tell you the truth. Why won’t you help me help us get out of this hole we’re in?”

He continues, “I- I need you. I need my lover, the woman who I want to carry my child some day. The woman that I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. I need my partner, you are my partner and I’m not going to let a foolish mistake destroy our relationship. I refuse to let it go to shit. So you can stay bitter and mad at me all you want Gianna, but I’m not going to stop fighting for this marriage and I’m not going to stop fighting for your love and your trust.”

Mistake? Mistakes are choices made once, not over and over and over.

I roll my eyes at him as he comes closer to me and places a hand on my thigh and the other under my chin.
His voice goes soft, “I love you and nothing’s going to change that.”

Gently he leans in pressing his lips to mine and kisses me softly. At first I go rigged, he kisses me again, running a hand through my hair, slipping his tongue between my lips and teeth. And with that, I let all of my tension and anger melt away in that kiss. I let him wrap me up in his arms, kiss me the way he used to, pick me up and take me to our bed. I let him lie me down on my back, take my shoes and socks off and I let him massage my feet. I let him take my clothes off and watch him as he removes his own. I let him kiss me, touch me, caress me and make love to me.

I let him make me miss him and I allow him to make me forget and imagine that everything is alright just this once.