Hold Me Close.

that place.

Soon enough, the van arrived at the institution, and the men brought Maya inside. Deciding she was no longer an endangerment to them, their grips were now less constricting. They escorted into the building, where nurses swarmed her and her wrists were covered with white bracelets and bandages. She was then brought into a plain, white room with a bed and a barred window. The nurse told Maya about the therapy sessions and appointments that she was required to attend, before bidding her goodnight and leaving the room. Maya took a deep breath and stared at the window, surrounded by the iron bars.

That was how she felt in her own skin, restricted by bars, unable to break free and live her life. Maya looked at the countless bottles of medication that sat on her bedside table and took the orange bottles in her frail hands, looking at them closely. They were different colors and sizes, but they all had one thing in common. They were all meant to “fix” her. Maya bit her lip and shook her head, not certain if she wanted to be fixed or not.

But then a pit filled her stomach when she thought of Oliver. How he too had gone through a rough time where nothing seemed like it would ever get better. He wanted to give up, but he didn’t, because of Maya. Maya took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. She then thought of the pain-filled look on Oliver’s face when he sent her away, and quickly took the pills that the nurse had set aside for her, before laying down and falling asleep.

Maya was awakened the next morning and brought out to the “lounge area” where other patients sat. She had a feeling this scene played out the same way every single day. They would all sit in circles and stay unspoken. For a moment, she thought it was absurd, before realizing that she too, felt silence was better.

All day long, Maya was brought to different doctors who would bombard her with questions. How are we on a scale of one to ten? Could you tell me what you see? Do you want to talk about it? How does that make you feel? She was so sick of them that she tried to block them out, yet was unsuccessful. Have you ever took a blade to your wrist? Have you been skipping meals? She was done.

Not long after her personal interrogations, Maya was brought to the group therapy room. She joined the circle of damaged souls and sat silently, avoiding eye contact with the sympathetic nurse across from her. Once all of the seats were taken, the nurse cleared her throat and began to speak. “We’re going to try something new today, how does that make you feel?” Maya scoffed and shook her head, mumbling under her breath. The nurse looked at her and smiled.

“Maya? Is there something you would like to say?” Maya stared at the nurse and chuckled. “Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but nobody wants to die.” All of the surrounding patients stared at Maya with amusement. The nurse however, tilted her head in confusion. “Do you want to die, Maya?” Maya felt her throat tighten and she swallowed the lump in her throat, before whispering, “I’ve died a thousand times.

The nurse nodded and was about to press further when a doctor entered the room. “Maya Kaplan? You have a visitor.” The doctor guided Maya out of the room and down a hallway that seemed to be never-ending. The walls were padded and pure white, making the hallway appear somber and intimidating. He stopped outside of a room and pressed a keypad next to the door, which caused it to open.

He led Maya inside the room, where Oliver sat waiting for her. She looked him in the eyes, yet still said nothing. He reached out for her, swallowing the lump in his throat and biting his lip. “Maya…” She sat down across from him at the table and hardly moved, except for her shallow breathing. Yet Oliver smiled at her, just happy to see that she was, in fact, alive.

Maya on the other hand, didn’t know what she felt. What she did feel, were the walls closing in. She looked at the guards in the room, watching her every move. One glanced at their watch and then looked into Maya’s eyes, before giving her a signal that she had five minutes left. She finally looked into Oli’s eyes and reached out for his hands.

She grabbed tightly and began to whisper. “Hold me close, don’t let go, watch me.” Oliver grabbed her hands back and leaned in. “Maya, what are you talking about?” She shook her head and moved her hands to his neck, taking his collar into her small hands. “Hold me close, don’t let go, watch me.” A rush of panic washed over his face and he placed his hand on her face, searching for what she was really trying to say.

The guards looked at each other, agreeing that time was up. One tapped Oli on the shoulder, informing him that it was time to leave. Oli stepped up from the table and Maya all but jumped over the table, trying to grab on to Oli. Immediately, one of the guards grabbed Maya from behind, trying to restrain her. She kicked her legs and flailed around, trying anything to escape his grasp. Oliver choked back tears at the sight, shocked to see so much pain and emotion.

Maya tried to grab him and began to scream, tears streaming down her face. “Hold me close, don’t let go, watch me burn.” She continued to scream and cry out as the guards pulled her out of the room and down the white hallway, once more. Oliver stood behind, his hand over his mouth as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. He watched as she disappeared down the hallway and took a deep breath. He watched the love of his life leave his sight and hoped that the next time he saw her, he’d have her back.
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2/2.