Damned If I Do Ya. Damned If I Don't.

It's been two week since me and Thomas' little romance. How was it,you might ask. It was fucking great, better then any of my other times having sex.

Today, I'm going to the beach with Peyton and Killian. Peyton doesn't look so good and she keeps zoning off. Ignoring our convo. Biting her lip every 5 seconds. "Peyton, are you okay?" I asked her.

"Huh?" She hummed, snapping back into reality. "Oh, nothing.." I swam off. Over to Killian, she was taking a picture. "Hey, Killian. Doesn't you sister look a little sad?" I asked her. She looked over at Peyton and shrugged. "She looks like herself, Jessica." Killian replied, pulling me into the picture. She made a funny face, me doing my normal face.

I looked over at Peyton, she was sitting in the water. "Peyton, come over here and hang out with us!" I yelled at her. She simply shook her head, replying back with "No thanks, I'm good." She stare at her scared wrist. Yeah, she used to cut. When Killian was moving in, Killian had grabbed his wrist and turned it over, looking at it. Then she smacked her upside the head. Then a few weeks later, I saw and smacked her too. All she did was smile and told me that she was already been smacked for that.

A few days ago, she posted a story about blades and her demons eating her alive. Is that sound alright to you? I'm shocked she hasn't asks her sister if she wouldn't tell their dad. Though, we'll never really know what happened over the school year. She tells us almost nothing. Nothing at all.

-Changing into Peyton's point of view bc why not.-

When Jessica asked me what was wrong, I couldn't tell her. Last night, I almost self-harmed again. And she can never know that her and my sister caused it. A little, was also my depression I had. Or have. My family could never know, it would make me feel horrible that they think that I'm that depressed where I'll bring a blade to my skin. My wrist, my legs and at one point. My belly. They all just couldn't know.

Look what my mother has done to me, she is slowly but surely driving me insane but when she calls cutting stupid. I just, hate her. And she hates gays! Sometimes, I wish I was living with my dad.

My mother was one of the biggest parts of my depression, she makes me feel depressed when ever she brings up my internet obsession or my dad. She blames everything on him, or obama. She acts as if, she never have met my dad. She would have just had better kids, a better life,y'know. Sometimes, it makes me sad that she hates my dad that much that she wishes she had a life without her children, Killian, Mason and I.

Killian and Jessica were fucking around, slashing each other and talking. Normal things. I just sat here, waiting for something to happen for me. And something did, somebody tapped me on the shoulder, making me look up at them.

"U-uh..P-p-peyton?" He stuttered out. I've never seen this man in my life before but I nodded. then saying "Uh, yeah. Who are you?"

"You don't remember? We've only been out of school for a month.." He said, chuckling softly. Letting his hair covered his eyes.

"Zebo.." I muttered under my breath, causing him to go. "Mmmhm." I grinned and told him to sit down. "Why is your hair like, normal now?" I asked.

"'Cause it can." He replied, giggling in his own childish way. Then he let out some sort of noise when Killian came over to us. You see, he loves her boobs. Just like how everyone loves her more then me/ Everyone does,y'know. I rolled my eyes and zoned out on there. Staring at the water, and the people. Jessica looked at me and mouth'd 'Zebo said bye.' I nodded quickly, before giving my goodbyes to him.