Bruises in Miniature Form

It was awkward.
I felt as if I had been the single spoon stuck in a pile of knives, it was obvious who didn’t fit in. Yet Max had this look on his face, as if something had finally come to him and without much regards to our current situation he left. That’s right, he left.
I took it as a ‘mercy killing’, if you will, and jetted myself back into my clothes and ran from the house I never should have entered to begin with. The front door was left unlocked, Rick and my mother still in their places in the living room. They didn’t call to me, nor did they send curious looks my way.
I couldn’t help but feel the paranoia that they truly knew what I’d done and were simply letting me wallow in my guilt before skinning me alive. Oh the things my mother would do if she’d found out what I’d done!

That was not the kind of person I was, and everyone knew it too. I respected my elders, I avoided peer pressure and I loved Trent Wilson. When someone needed a hand I was always there to offer mine, if a problem arose I handled it tactfully, but moving here, coming to this place was a mistake.
My gut wouldn’t stop teasing me into a state of nausea the more I rolled these thoughts over my head. I was always too busy thinking of how happy Rick made my mother that I never really thought of what was best for me, and finally I realized just what wasn’t.
Las Vegas was not the place for me, it was the home of sin and the sweet girl I used to be just couldn’t last. I was finding myself in a state of ‘fight or flee’, the convulsions under my skin making the decision rougher.
Though the options lay smack dab in front of me, I had yet to move, yet to make the decision that could either keep me reeling in the effects of Max or save me from the drug of Las Vegas.

Minutes passed by like grains of sand dropping to the bottom of an hourglass. I kept hoping my bedroom door would open and Max would come rushing in, either apologizing or cussing me out. I didn’t care; I just needed some sort of interaction from him, something to know I wasn’t the only one feeling the effects.
I couldn’t even fathom anything anymore, finally sinking into my bed with a loud wail of disappointment. I was so stupid!!

“Stupid! Stupid! STUPID!” I cried, pulling my hair harshly until I was sure I’d damaged enough roots by my actions. My body stung and itched as I rolled on my mattress like a dog with fleas. I felt crazy, as if I had finally cracked. Hell, maybe I had.
There you are Maxwell Green, I’ve finally cracked, and you win! You’ve driven me crazy!
Screaming loudly I didn’t care any longer if my mother heard me and came frantically bursting through my bedroom door (which she did), or if Rick was ready to call the cops thinking someone was attacking me (which he almost did) or even if Max entered my room with worried eyes. Which he didn’t.

“Teresa!” My mother tried calming me down, her hands grasps my wrists to pull them away from brutally attacking my hair once more. “Teresa! Calm down baby! Tea Cup!!”
I just kept screaming, wailing as loud as I could until my lungs stung and head pounded with a migraine. My throat was raw and by tomorrow I was sure to have lost my voice.
“Teresa!” My mother screamed over me, petting my hair away from my face before yelling at Rick to call an ambulance.

[&breaks]

I felt sick, though considerably calm. My mother was still by my side, stroking my hair softly with puffy red eyes. I felt foolish now, now that the doctors had attached an IV to my arm to send drips of Atavan flushing through my veins.
I had sent my mother into a panic; one Rick could not control until I had settled down from my screaming and began to droop into a relaxed slumber. I wasn’t sure if they had called my father and Daryl yet, though I helplessly wished they hadn’t.
The guilt I tried desperately to repress was bubbling to the surface, almost sending me into another fit if I hadn’t felt the immense loose feeling in the tips of my fingers.

“Tea Cup?” My mother whispered softly, I was sure she was terrified I’d burst into hysterics again, “Baby? Mommy’s just going outside to let Rick know everything’s okay. I won’t be gone any more than five minutes, okay baby?”
I nodded my head dumbly and watched her exit the room slowly, her eyes backtracking to my bed until the doors closed behind her. Once alone I let myself sink back into the bed to let thoughts overrule me.
I could remember the nights Trent would sneak into my room, kissing me sweetly and often uttering words of romance to keep me entranced. He was so different to Max, kind and caring, especially intimately. In fact I had never had sex with anyone else, I thought Trent was the love of my life after all.
Swallowing the pit in my throat I attempted to roll to my side, cupping my face in my hands to breathe shallowly. I had admitted it finally to myself; I had sex with Max and the only thing I regretted was that he... left.

The door opened and just as promised my mother rushed inside, taking her place once more to stroke my hair. “Are you alright baby?”
She was treating me like a sick little girl again, though I honestly deserved it.
“Mommy?” I whimpered, it was all I could do to get out the next sentence, “what do you do if you’re in love with someone who you shouldn’t be?”
Her face softened into relief, a small smile breaking out onto her pretty lips. The glassy look to her eyes increased as she bent down to peck my forehead and pull my hands away. “Sometimes when you love someone, there’s just nothing you can do.”

I nodded innocently and reached for the water at my bedside, something to soothe the ache in my throat for once and all. She acted quickly and handed me the small plastic cup, helping me hold it up to my lips so I could slurp it down with little difficulty. My fingers shook at the condensation dripping down the glass, my prints left behind as the glass was taken away once more.

“You didn’t call dad, did you?” I choked out after swallowing.
She nodded slowly, “they would have worried. Daryl is coming down to spend a few weeks here; your father couldn’t get out of meetings. I’m sorry baby”
“Its okay” and it was, at least I had Daryl to talk to. “Could you call Jennifer? I really need to talk to her”
My mother nodded and slid from her spot at my side and exited the room, still sending me worried glances on her way out.

I couldn’t tell you how long my mother was gone before she entered my room with Jennifer once more, leaving a minute later to hurry back to Rick. Apparently my mother had to sneak Je-je inside, for not even Rick was allowed inside my room.

“You look like shit” were her first words before she clambered onto my bed and wrapped her arms around my waist, comforting me as best she could.
“I slept with Max” I blurted, eyeing her for her reaction.
What surprised me was her slow nod, her indifferent attitude to the situation, “and what happened to send you here?”
“I had a meltdown,” I admitted, “He just left Je-je. Right after, he just... he just walked out!”
Jennifer stroked my hair back and kissed my cheek lightly, “don’t worry sweetie. I’ll kill him”
Laughing hurt and so I tried to contain mine, rubbing at my throat uneasily as she stared sideways at me.”Can you stay with me, Je-je? I don’t like boys anymore”
Instantly her laughter began to mix with mine, I didn’t care if it hurt, I didn’t care that Max left me and I’d had a breakdown that rivalled any drama queens. Jennifer would make things right again, she’d be my best friend and whatever else I needed her to be.
“I knew I’d get you one day,” she teased, “I’ll stay here till you fall asleep, okay? Then I’ll go talk to him. I’ll get this sorted for you”