Litost

She was beautiful. Her blonde hair glistened under the sun, her laughter penetrating his every thought. She he had the same smile that warmed the coldest nights in winter and eyes that was a deep shade of blue. The kind that made Brayden feel like he was drowning whenever she was near.

She knew his every secret, every fear but that’s what best friends were for. And that’s all they had been. Brayden made sure of that. His fear of losing her over something as pitiful as a relationship wasn’t worth it. He couldn’t take that risk. He just wouldn’t. But as he sat there he wasn’t sure if he had made the right choice. Every action has a reaction.

It was the better thing to do. He let out a pathetic laugh to himself, throwing back two more shots, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes never tore away from the girl he had loved and the luckiest man in the world. As he sat there washing away his jealousy in alcohol he couldn’t help but wonder why he was here.

How did it get to this point? When did this all happen? He wanted answers to questions he didn’t want to ask.

“The lockout.”

Brayden turned his head to see his captain watch the couple. Deep in his own pity party he hadn’t noticed Claude take the empty seat next to him.

Fear struck him. Had he spoken his thoughts out loud? “What?”

“That’s when Luke and Kenley got together. That’s what you wanted to know, right?” Brayden didn’t know whether to be mortified that he was that obvious or pissed because he felt betrayed that no one told him. It wasn’t any business of his, though.

“No.” He easily lied.

“Don’t do this.” Claude sighed, finally turning his attention to Brayden.

“Don’t do what?”

“Play the victim card. Don’t get all pissy because he’s with the girl that has been chasing after you for years. She moved to Philly for you and what was your response?” Brayden grunted, slamming down another shot glass.

“He’s not in the wrong. This girl loved you for years and you pushed her away. Everyone has a breaking point. Now, she found someone else and you want her? Just don’t expect too much.” Claude finished, taking a swig of his beer.

“She was mine, first.” Brayden murmured lowly.

“Christ. She isn’t some toy that you and Luke fought over when you were kids!” Claude was at his wit’s end with Brayden. “Do yourself a favor and move on. She has.”

Claude left Brayden with a verbal slap to the face. His stubbornness to believe he still had a chance overrode the logistical sense in him. What was he expecting if he had the chance to talk to her face-to-face. Why would she still want him when he was the one that pushed her away? Brayden knew his behavior to keep their relationship strictly platonic was selfish and unreasonable. He didn’t want to chance it and instead made her advances on him embarrassing.

He was and still is a Grade A asshole.

He watched Kenley push her way through the small crowd, giving a little yelp as she tripped over a chair. Brayden caught her arm before she fell completely. The feel of her skin sent a shiver through his body as he tried to stand her back up.

“How embarrassing. Thanks, Bray.” She smiled, pushing back a strand of hair from her face. She was still clumsy. He wondered in vain if Luke knew this about her.

Brayden stared at her profile. The small point of her nose, her long eyelashes, the way her dimples appeared when she smiled, the perkiness of her breast. But one thing he couldn’t overlook was the new addition to her body… the glistening platinum band on her ring finger.

An awkward silence clouded over them, as they stood side-by-side, giving each other small smiles. It was as if they were strangers. What could he say?

“I’m glad you came.” Her voice was quiet and small. Brayden gave a nod.

“Are you mad I’m with him?” Brayden snapped his head quickly to her. He was not expecting that question.

He sighed, his hands fumbling with the napkin next to him “No.”

She nodded, grabbing her bottle of water to make her way back to Luke. Brayden caught her arm and pulled her back to him. “I’m mad because he’s better for you.”

“Brayden…” He shook his head and let her arm go.

Kenley stood on the tip of her toes and skimmed her lips across his cheeks. Brayden’s eyes fell shut, relishing the feeling. She backed away slowly, never giving him another glance back just as he had done to her the last time they had talked. It hurt. The years of him rejecting her were hitting him full force.

She reached Luke; her arms automatically wrapped around his neck as he picked her up and twirled her around. Brayden kept on watching, his heart shattering a little more with each kiss, each ‘I love you’ he could read on their lips.

And for a millisecond he imagined it was him who had his arms around her. He, who she called her husband and he, who she said ‘I love you’ to.

“I love you, too.”