Your Voice

I liked feisty-Kade, I wanted to see that side of him more often. I just had to hope that in time he’d feel more comfortable to stand up to me like that. The heat in his eyes was something that I knew I’d never forget, even as he essentially yelled at me. He was kinda sexy…even if he was only 16. I was stunned for a moment, but as quickly as his confidence arrived, it vanished again and he looked away uncertainly. My lips curved slightly as I looked at the boy in front of me.

Quickly closing the distance between us, I placed my fingers under his chin and raised his head so I could look into those blue eyes that seemed just a tad watery. I wanted nothing more than to reassure Kade that I returned his feelings and then some. It was kind of scary to analyse my feelings for him too closely, so instead, I whispered his name and then asked him out. He gazed at me for a moment and I could see a swarm of emotions in his gaze until finally he leant forward and kissed me. I was shocked for a moment, but then pleasantly surprised as I all but melted into the kiss. I was meant to be the older one, the more experienced one, but here I was getting weak kneed because the boy I liked had kissed me. God, I was like a freaking teenage girl. I brought my hand up to cup the nape of Kade’s neck and hold him in the kiss, just in case he pulled away sooner than I wanted. But it didn’t seem like Kade would be pulling away any time soon and that was perfectly fine by me.

The kiss was pretty innocent as far as kisses go; just a gentle press of our lips. I wanted to deepen it and part of me thought Kade might want to, too, but I slowly ended it instead. I wanted to take it further but Kade was clearly struggling to keep up with everything as it was and I didn’t want to rush him.

And then I remember that I’d asked him out and I hadn’t actually had an answer. “Is that a yes?” I asked and Kade blushed as he grinned.
“Yes,” he signed and I grinned and pulled him into a tight hug, breathing in the sweet apple scent of his shampoo.
“Great,” I whispered into his hair even though he couldn’t hear me. I just felt like I needed to say it, needed to seal the deal or something. I pulled back and looked down at him, feeling even more connected to him than before even though we hadn’t actually had the date yet. But just knowing that he liked me enough to commit to a date…it felt good. “So, is this your first real date?” I asked and he blushed and shrugged.
“Yeah,” he said and I smiled and nodded, wondering what I could possibly do. I wanted to make it a good one, a memorable one. This was his first, first date. And his only, a small voice in the back of my head whispered but I shook that off. It was way too early to be thinking long-term. Hell, we hadn’t even had our first date yet, who was I to be thinking that this was going to develop into anything more than that? Something could still go wrong, even though I desperately hoped it didn’t. It terrified me and excited me. It was terrifying to think that Kade would become a permanent fixture in my life. But for the very same reason, I felt jolts of excitement whizz through me.
“I guess I should drop you home now,” I said slowly, glancing at the clock which read 10.45. I didn’t want Kade to go yet, but I knew he had to; it was a school night after all.
“I guess,” he signed, clearly just as reluctant as me and I smiled before pulling him against me once again and planting a kiss on his lips.
“I like you coming over, you know,” I told him and he blushed as he smiled and nodded.
“I know,” he signed with a shy smile. “I like coming over too.”
“I miss you during the day,” I said, surprising even myself but Kade just grinned wider.
“I miss you too,” he signed. “Sometimes I don’t think that this time is enough…” I frowned gently and couldn’t help but agree. I wished there was something I could do about how much time we were able to spend together. I wished I didn’t have to work so much, or that I didn’t have so many lectures to go to. “Sorry, I know what you’re doing is important, I understand why you’re so busy,” he quickly signed and I shook my head.
“I wish I had more time with you, too,” I said softly, stroking my thumb over his cheek bone. “What are you doing this Sunday?” I asked and he shook his head.
“Nothing,” he signed and I smiled.
“Keep the day open,” I told him. “I’ll reserve that whole day for you.” He beamed at me, his eyes twinkling and if that was the reaction I’d get, I’d happily reserve all my Sundays for the rest of my life for Kade.
“Sounds great,” he signed and I smiled.
“Okay, I’ll drop you home now,” I said, taking his hand and leading him back through the house. He grabbed his bag on the way but didn’t let go of my hand and I smiled gently to myself. While I wasn’t as overly confident as I used to be, I think it was slowly returning. And I kind of liked it, feeling self-assured was a hell of a lot better than second guessing my every move. Even though it was safer that way. But with Kade, being confident was better. If we were both nervous, we’d never get anywhere. And I really wanted things to progress between us.

The drive to Kade’s was as quiet as ever, with neither of us saying anything. But that was okay. It felt different this time. It didn’t feel like neither of us were talking because we didn’t know what to say, but because we felt comfortable enough not to need to fill the silence.

When I pulled up in front of Kade’s house, we both sat for a minute before looking at each other at the same time. I smiled at him and he returned it before I did what both of us clearly wanted and closed the gap between us. Kade reacted immediately and slotted his lips against mine, kissing me back eagerly. He moved his hands, one of which rested on my shoulder and the other on my thigh. Just his touch drove me crazy. I kept my hands to myself for as long as I could, not wanting to go overboard, but then I couldn’t help it and one of my hands wound into his soft hair.

The kiss gradually came to an end, both of us breathing slightly more heavily than we had been minutes before. “Do you have Skype?” I asked, breathless, my hand gestures kinda lazy. Kade smiled at me and nodded. “Can I add you?”
“Sure,” he signed and I smiled.
“That way I figured that on days where we don’t really see each other much, we could skype and spend time together that way,” I told him and he grinned, his eyes lighting up.
“I like that,” he signed and I couldn’t help but peck his lips once again.
“Great,” I smiled. “I’ll add you tonight.”
“Okay,” he signed with a smile. “I better get inside.” I just nodded and watched as Kade got out of the car. “I’ll see you soon,” he signed before closing the door and I just nodded. I waited until he’d opened his front door and waved back at me before driving home, my heart soaring for so many reasons.

As soon as I got home, I locked up and turned the lights off and headed into my room. I sat on my bed and pulled my laptop into my lap and loaded up Skype. I searched for Kade Fletcher on Skype and immediately added the top result, which had a cute photo of Kade in the profile picture smiling into the camera. God, he was adorable. It almost wasn’t fair. What chance did I have against someone like Kade? His eyes, his smile? I’d been a goner that first day in the school car park. Skype alerted me to a new message and I grinned when I saw it was from Kade.

Kade: Hi :)
Me: Hey :) Your profile picture’s really cute.
Kade: Thanks. You look really good in yours too.
Me: Thanks. Shouldn’t you be getting to sleep? It’s a school night!
Kade: Shouldn’t you be getting to sleep? It’s a work night! :P

I couldn’t help but grin. Clearly from behind a keyboard, Kade was much more comfortable to be the somewhat cheeky boy I could see he was starting to become around me. I kind of loved it.

Me: I would, but some gorgeous boy is distracting me…
Kade: Well, some gorgeous guy is distracting me, too…

I couldn’t help but grin at my computer screen. I wanted to start a video chat just so I could see him but I knew if I started that then I’d never get to sleep.

Me: As much as I love chatting with you, I really do need to get to sleep. Will you be coming over tomorrow?
Kade: Gemma hasn’t asked me to, but she usually asks during the day.
Me: Okay, well hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow. If not, I’ll skype you when I get home from uni.
Kade: Sounds good :) speak to you soon! Xx
Me: Sweet dreams! Xx

I smiled as I signed off skype and closed down my computer. I lay in bed and realised something. I’d wished earlier that I could see Kade instead of work or lectures. Had Kade become so high up on my list without me even realising it? I shook my head, trying to work out my list of priorities and where Kade ought to be placed. I wanted him to be high on the list…but how high?

--

The rest of the week passed by slowly. I just wanted Sunday to hurry up and arrive so, of course, the week dragged. The idea of what we could do on our first date hit me on Thursday, so I immediately went online and bought the tickets. I wouldn’t be telling Kade what it was so I just had to hope he liked it. The thought of surprising him just made me grin so fingers crossed he liked the surprise.

“Hey, Gem?” I said on Friday evening. Kade hadn’t come over, but that was okay because I had to double check that she didn’t have a problem with the date or me not being around on Sunday.
“Yeah,” she smiled, looking up from her position on her bed where she was doing homework.
“Um,” I started as I sat down on her bed. “I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay if I go out with Kade on Sunday?”
“Okay?” she asked with a frown. “I think it’s great!”
“You do?” I asked and she rolled her eyes.
“Yeah,” she said. “Kade’s crazy about you and I know you’re crazy about him, too. Frankly, I’d be pissed at you if you hadn’t asked him out!”
“Oh,” I said softly. “Good. So you’re gonna be okay on your own on Sunday?”
“Yeah, I’ll probably meet up with a friend or something,” she said, looking back down at her textbook. “Are you gonna be gone all day?”
“Yeah, I think so,” I told her. “Probably leave here about 9ish and be back in the evening some time.”
“What are you doing?” she asked and I smiled and shook my head.
“It’s a secret,” I told her and she pouted.
“Come on, I won't say!” she said and I shook my head again.
“Nope.” Gemma just continued to pout and I laughed and left the room.

I went into my bedroom and glanced at the clock – 10.30. I was knackered but I wanted to talk to Kade before I went to sleep. I sent him a text instead of waiting for my computer to turn on. Hey, if I pick you up at 9 o’clock on Sunday, is that okay? X I stared at my phone screen as I waited for his reply. He might have already gone to sleep, which would have been a shame but it was late so I’d understand. And then my phone buzzed and I jumped to check it. Don’t I get a lie in? :( Just kidding, 9 is good. What are we doing that I have to be up so early for? X I grinned at his reply, suddenly wishing that he was sitting with me and I could talk to him properly. Instead, I just texted my reply; Not telling, it’s a surprise! X I lay on my bed and smiled to myself like a moron. I just couldn’t help it. Meany! But I can’t wait, see you Sunday! :) Goodnight xxx I grinned at the extra kisses and got that weird warm, gooey feeling in my stomach once again. Sweet dreams xxx

--

Waking up at 8 o’clock is still technically a lie in for me. During the week I’ve usually left the house by half 7 and even on a Sunday, I have to be at uni for 9, so I’m usually out of the house by 8 at the latest. But still, 8 o’clock was early. I wondered how Kade was reacting to the early start – I knew teenagers liked their sleep. When I was 16 I slept every spare minute I had. And Gemma’s the same now. But Kade had said he was okay with it, so I didn’t feel too guilty.

I was kinda jittery while showering and deciding what to wear. I quickly sent Kade a text saying; Morning :) Dress warmly! X before pulling out a pair of loose jeans, a t-shirt, and a hoody out of my wardrobe. I didn’t usually go out on a Sunday so having to actually get dressed to go out in public was an odd feeling, but knowing that it was for Kade had me making sure I looked good. I quickly had a piece of toast and then grabbed my keys. I considered wearing a coat, but the weather didn’t look too bad and it hadn’t been forecasted to rain. I just had to keep my fingers crossed. It was 8.45 so I had plenty of time to drive the familiar route over to Kade’s which, on a Sunday morning, would take half the time it normally would.

Kade’s house was still dark when I pulled up outside it and I wondered if he’d slept through his alarm or something. But then the front door opened and I smiled at him as he shut the front door behind him softly. He quickly came down the driveway and got into my car, throwing a backpack into the back seat. “Morning,” I said and signed before leaning over and pecking his lips. Kade’s blush made me smile and I quickly kissed him once more before pulling back. “Ready?” I asked and he nodded.
“Where are we going?” he asked and I smiled as I pulled out onto the roads.
“Wait and see,” I awkwardly signed with one had. Kade pouted and while I was a lot more tempted to give in to his puppy dog eyes than I had been with Gemma, I stubbornly shook my head. “Patience,” I signed and he sighed as he settled into the seat. I smiled and rested my hand on his knee, squeezing slightly. Kade smiled as he ducked his head to hide it and I just grinned as I focused on the roads.

It took just over an hour and a half to reach our destination and as I followed the brown signs I started to worry that Kade might not like it. What if he didn’t? That would just ruin the whole day… Eventually, Kade caught on to what signs we were following and he quickly turned to me and signed excitedly. It was hard to follow his gestures and keep an eye on the road but I got the gist. “We’re going to Thorpe Park?” he signed and I looked up at his face for confirmation and saw a wide grin on his lips.
“Yeah,” I smiled, signalling right through the gates into the theme park. Kade sat forward in his seat and looked at the tops of the rollercoasters that we could see over the trees in the car park and I smiled at his enthusiasm. I followed the guidance by the ushers in the car park and then pulled to a stop and Kade and I got out of the car. “Do you need your bag?” I asked, indicating the back pack in the back seat and he shook his head and patted his pocket.
“I have my wallet, that’s all I need, right?” he asked and I rolled my eyes at the idea that he thought he’d be paying for anything on this date… I just nodded and he smiled before looking around him excitedly. He quickly grabbed my hand and I locked my car as he pulled my over to the entrance. The doors weren’t open yet but a large clock on the wall said it was 10 minutes to 10 so we didn’t have a long wait. The queue was already pretty big but I knew it wouldn’t take long for tickets to be scanned and for us to be through. Kade kept hold of my hand tightly as we queued and I smiled at him and he beamed up at me. I placed a quick kiss to his lips before turning back to watch the queue in front of us.

About 15 minutes later, we were through the doors and inside the park and Kade was looking around, close to jumping up and down. “What do you want to go on first?” I asked and Kade shrugged.
“I don’t know, I’ve never been here before. What’s good?” he asked and blinked.
“You’ve really never been here?” I asked and he shrugged, signing half-distractedly in response as he continued to look around, watching a car moving up the vertical climb on Stealth.
“I lost my hearing at 7 and my parents didn’t really bother with me after that. And I’d been too young before, so…” he turned to me with a smile even though I was frowning with worry at what he’d said. He didn’t even seem to realise that he’d said something that should be so upsetting. “Can we go on that one?” he signed, pointing over at Stealth.
“Sure,” I grinned, taking his hand and leading him across the park. I was glad he was getting straight into the big ones. I’d been kind of worried that he wouldn’t like rides seeing as he seemed so quiet but I was glad to be proven wrong.

The queue for Stealth hadn’t built up too much by the time we arrived at it and we only had a 10 minute queue. Really, I didn’t think the park was going to be busy at all considering it was a Sunday and during the school term. When we got to the front of the queue and filled into the rows to wait for the next seats, I turned to Kade who was starting to look anxious but still had that excited glint in his eyes. “It won’t be that easy to sign when we’re buckled in,” I told him and he nodded.
“Can I hold your hand?” he asked and I smiled and nodded.
“Of course,” I said, turning to the seats once they arrived. We clambered into the seats in the red car and secured our harnesses and I turned and looked at Kade, who was double checking his harness. I smiled and reached for his hand and he took it tightly as he smiled at me. I wanted to say something but I wasn’t really sure what, so instead, I just looked forward. I watched the orange lights above us that started counting down as the ride moved backwards reading ready to shoot us forward. I was kinda nervous; not about the ride, but because I didn’t know how Kade would react. I squeezed his hand and then the light turned green and we bulleted forward. Kade’s hand slipped out of mine to grip his harness but that was okay, because I wanted to grip mine too. I couldn’t help but scream slightly on the downward plummet and I tried to hear if Kade was screaming too, but I couldn’t make out his voice from the cacophony of other riders.

The ride was over within 2 minutes and I looked over at Kade once we were back parallel with the ground. He was grinning, his hair pushed back from his face from the wind. I grinned back at him and reached for his hand which he place in mine and squeezed. God, I was really falling for this boy. Like, seriously.

Once we climbed out of the seats, we consulted the map and decided to just follow the path round and stop at all the rides unless there was a long queue and we’d circle back to those later. We went on the rapids next, despite it being kinda chilly, but it was fine – we didn’t get wet and it ended up being pretty nice because we were able to sit close together in the raft as we were tossed about by the water. Kade was laughing as we were thrown about and I laughed along with him, glad that he was enjoying himself. Being just the two of us in the raft, I was able to sneak a few more kisses without anyone around and it was kinda nice. I liked being able to kiss Kade whenever I wanted now and he clearly liked it too judging by the way he eagerly kissed me back.

We went on another 3 rides – Nemesis Inferno, X-No Way Out, Saw and Collosus – before we stopped for lunch. We were pretty hungry by then, probably due to the early start and the exercise we were getting by walking all over the park. Burger King was the emptiest place, so we decided on burgers for lunch and we sat inside as we ate. “This is a pretty awesome date,” Kade smiled and I grinned.
“I wanted to make your first date memorable,” I told him and he blushed but smiled.
“Well you succeeded,” he said and I shrugged.
“It’s not over yet,” I pointed out and he smiled. He gazed at me with his beautiful wide eyes and I felt my heart skip a beat. Who was I kidding? I’d fallen hard and fast for this boy. And I’d do anything for him. After lunch Kade suggested we go back on the rapids while our food went down, an idea which I was fully behind if it meant I could hold him and kiss him during the ride.

We went on the rest of the big rides – Kade didn’t like the smaller, spinny rides so much so we avoided them, which was fine by me because I wasn’t the biggest fan of those either. We went on The Swarm last and then double checked the map to see if there was anything we missed. “Was there anything else you wanted to do?” I asked Kade and he focused on the map for a minute.
“No I don’t think so,” he signed. “Tidal wave looks fun but I don’t want to get your car wet.” I smiled and shook my head.
“My car will dry,” I said, putting the map away and taking his hand. The queue for tidal wave wasn’t long, probably because it wasn’t all that warm, but I didn’t care. If Kade had never done it before then I wasn’t going to let him leave without doing tidal wave. Kade and I climbed into the car with a few other people but we managed to get our own bench and Kade moved in close to me. We pulled the waist bar down and I held Kade’s hand between us. He smiled at me and then turned his attention to the track in front of us. The journey up to the top of the ride was fairly slow and gentle, even the plunge down wasn’t that bad. But you do get properly drenched. Kade and I hunched over to avoid getting too wet, but it happened anyway. It was freezing cold but then I heard Kade laughing and I suddenly didn’t care. I would go on this ride a thousand times if it meant Kade would keep laughing like that; as though he’d never been happier in his life. I quickly leant down and pecked his lips before the boat got back round to the start of the ride. We jumped out and then headed over to the photo booth. The photo had been taken on the downward part just before the splash and I grinned at it – both of us were laughing and looked beyond happy. In all the other photos from the big rollercoasters, Kade had looked like he’d been having a good time, but in this one his mouth wasn’t open in a scream but a laugh. And I knew, despite the extortionate prices, that I had to have it. Kade wandered off to go watch other riders go down the ride and get soaked and I quickly bought 2 key rings with the photo in. The price nearly made me what to yell at the teenage boy behind the stand, but I decided it was worth it.

I caught up to Kade as I slipped the key rings in my pocket and smiled at him. “Is that everything?” I asked him and he nodded as he wound his arm around my waist and leant his head on my shoulder. I kissed his forehead lightly and then took his hand and we headed back out of the park. It was kinda sad to leave but something told me we’d be back again at some point. Maybe next summer when we could go on Tidal Wave with some hope of drying off afterwards.

Back in the car, I pulled off my hoody and shirt, which were both soaked through, and threw them in the back seat as I put the heat on full. Kade just blushed and pulled off his jacket but kept his t-shirt on. That was fine; I hadn’t really expected him to strip off like I had. My confidence was coming back in full swing. I knew I didn’t have the best body in the world – I didn’t exactly have time to hit the gym anymore – but my constant activity during the day kept me from losing my flat stomach. “Do you mind if I take my shoes off?” Kade asked as I settled in the seat.
“Course not,” I smiled.
“They’re kinda soaked,” Kade said with a shy smile and I laughed.
“Mine too but I don’t think I can drive barefoot,” I said and Kade smiled.

The drive back home was quiet and calm and Kade took my hand once we got on the motorway. I smiled and squeezed his fingers in mine. I kind of didn’t want the day to end. It was only 6 o’clock so not too late, so I suggested Kade text Gemma to tell her we were on our way back and that we’d get a take away for dinner. Kade just smiled at me, clearly wanting to say something, but just nodded and pulled out his phone. He quickly sent a text to Gemma, who replied only a minute later. “She said okay and Chinese,” he signed and I smiled and nodded. “Are you okay with me coming back to yours?”
“Of course,” I said with a smile. “Silly question.” I smiled over at him and he blushed. “You can get a shower and warm up when we get back if you want. I’ll lend you some clothes…though they might be a bit big.”
“I don’t mind,” he said and I grinned. I kinda liked the idea of Kade wearing my clothes…

I shook that thought off and then focused on the rest of the journey. When we got back to my house, neither of us made any move to get out of the car. I just wanted to keep Kade to myself for a little bit longer. Kade turned to me and placed a quick kiss to my lips. “This has been one of the best days of my life,” Kade signed and my heart swelled with happiness. “Not just the best date, the best day. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I smiled, gazing into those enchanting blue eyes. “Any time.” Kade smiled and I quickly leant forward to kiss him once again. My hand went to his cheek to hold him closer and his hand rested on my bare shoulder. I felt him shiver but I knew it was a good-shiver. God, he was intoxicating. I shifted closer to him, my forehead resting against his as our lips parted. I gazed down into his eyes before reconnecting our lips. I wanted to go further, go deeper, but I knew it was probably too soon for Kade. We’d already kissed loads and it had only been a week since his first kiss. In fact a week exactly. I smiled and pulled away from the kiss. “Let’s head inside,” I said and Kade smiled and nodded. I climbed out of the car and he grabbed his backpack from the backseat and we headed inside hand in hand. And I had to agree – today had definitely been one of the best days of my life.