Your Voice

“Yes,” Kade said. Everything seemed to freeze. I held my breath, feeling the need to just prolong the moment. He’d spoken. He’d actually opened his mouth and spoken. Like…out loud. No sign language or anything. He looked startled at himself, his blue eyes wide and scared, his face slightly paler than usual.
“Kade,” I whispered, feeling the need to let my racing thoughts out of my head.
“Did I speak?” he signed anxiously and I just nodded, still kind of in shock. Kade’s voice had been rough and scratchy, and the ‘yes’ hadn’t been pronounced quite right. He clearly had a strong deaf accent, but considering he hadn’t spoken since he was 7, it was pretty damn impressive. He’d spoken. To me! I’d never felt so honoured in my life. All I wanted was for him to speak again. “Sorry,” he quickly signed and I frowned, shaking my head. I grabbed his hand in mine, holding on tight, desperate for him to understand.
“Don’t be sorry,” I said and signed. “That was amazing.”
“I didn’t mean to, it just…slipped out,” he said and I shook my head.
“You don’t need to explain,” I told him. “I love that you feel so comfortable around me.”
“Really?” he signed anxiously and I just smiled.
“Are you kidding?” I asked. “I’m honoured.” Kade just blushed and looked down at his hands. I quickly took his hands in mine and leant over to kiss him tenderly. “As much as I’d love to do this all day, you should probably get to school,” I said and Kade pouted cutely and nodded.
“I guess,” he signed, leaning forward to kiss me once again. I grinned and happily kissed him again, bringing my hand up to his neck to hold him close for as long as possible. God, I don’t think I could ever get enough of this boy. Eventually, Kade pulled back, blushing as he did so.
“I don’t have lectures tonight,” I told him, “do you wanna come over?”
“Yeah,” he signed and I smiled. I leant forward once more, pressing a long, lingering kiss to his lips.
“Great,” I smiled. “I’ll see you tonight then.” Kade just smiled and nodded, grabbing his bag and climbing out of the car.

I watched his cross the car park and then disappear inside the school and I couldn’t help but smile. Kade had spoken to me. I could hardly believe it. I knew talking was something that scared him, and I did understand why, but he’d done it.

I quickly sent a text to John saying I would be late – the decent thing to do was give him notice – and set off to the station. It was only while I was driving to the train station car park that I realised what he’d actually said. He’d said yes. He’d said yes when I’d asked him to be my boyfriend. He was my boyfriend. Once I was on the train, I quickly got my phone out to text him. Did you really mean what you said? X I was kind of terrified. I mean, I’d had to get the guts up to ask in the first place. And now I was having to double check. That was two opportunities in which Kade could say no… My phone vibrated and I quickly opened the message. Did you really mean what you asked? X Nothing with Kade was ever that straight forward…but I kinda loved that about him. Yes x I replied, waiting desperately for his reply. And then my phone vibrated. Me too <3 x I grinned to myself like a lunatic, but I really didn’t care. Kade was my boyfriend.

Walking through London with a stupid smile on my face probably wasn’t exactly normal, but nothing would have made me stop smiling. Even when I walked into work over an hour late, it was worth it. Kade was my boyfriend. I had a boyfriend! I had possibly the cutest, most adorable boyfriend in the world. I could hardly contain my happiness. A smile was constantly tugging at the corners of my lips just wanting to make itself known. A couple of my colleagues looked at me curiously, but no one said anything. I caught Grant watching me a couple times, and even his attention didn’t get me down. I was happy, I really was. I was happier than I remember being in years. Because of Kade. Because he’d said yes.

“Morning,” John said from his office doorway as I sat at my desk
“Morning,” I replied with a grin. “Sorry I’m late.”
“You know, it’s very hard to take your apology seriously when you’re grinning like that,” he said with a small smirk. He came and perched on the end of my desk, his smirk growing into a teasing grin.
“Okay, so maybe I’m not sorry,” I said around my smile.
“What's got you in such a good mood then?” he asked and I hesitated only a moment before grinning again.
“I asked the guy I’ve been seeing to be my boyfriend,” I told him and he grinned at me.
“Congrats, Dylan,” he said with a smile. “You deserve to be happy.” My smile faltered for just a second, but it didn’t seem like John noticed and I quickly plastered my smile back on my face. “Is he the reason you’ve basically been skipping everywhere the last couple weeks?”
“I do not skip,” I said and John snorted as he rolled his eyes.
“It’s a manly skip but a skip nonetheless,” he said and I sighed.
“Then I suppose so,” I said begrudgingly and John grinned.
“I’m happy for you,” he said and I smiled.
“I am sorry I’m late, though, I can work later if you need me to,” I told him and he rolled his eyes once again.
“Don’t be silly,” he said. “You’ve never been late before and I can’t remember the last time you took a sick day. I’m not going to hold an hour over your head.”
“Thanks,” I smiled, relieved that he’d said that, because I really didn’t want to cut my time with Kade short this evening. I was very conscious of the fact that he’d commented before on how little time we get to spend together and I wanted to do as much as I could to make him feel important. Maybe I could skip my Thursday lecture or something… The thought of skipping a lecture before now had always seemed absurd – nothing was worth missing a lecture for, right? But Kade just might be. Yeah, Kade was definitely high up there on my list of priorities…

The rest of the day passed slowly. I texted Kade throughout the day, but obviously he was in lessons so he couldn’t always reply. But I kinda just wanted him to know I was thinking about him. I couldn’t stop. His face, his smile, just everything, was engrained into my mind. And now his voice too. I knew with practice Kade would get better with the talking thing and I was more than happy to be patient with him. If I was able to hear him speak to me more often, then I would do just about anything.

I was anxious to get home. All I wanted was to be with Kade again. From 3 o’clock onwards, my gaze was always half on the clock. For 2 hours, I watched the minutes tick by, wishing they would speed up. I didn’t really have all that much to do – I just answered John’s calls and replied to emails. We didn’t have any meetings to get to or anything important. I sometimes offered to help John with whatever he was working on when I had a quiet moment, but I didn’t really have the mindset to be productive. I texted Gemma to tell her that I’d invited Kade over for that night and she replied saying that he’d already told her. I kind of hoped that she’d let us have some ‘alone’ time that evening. I mean, yeah we’d had the whole day together the day before, but, I dunno, I guess I just wanted more. Plus, Kade and Gemma had friend-time at school, so the evenings should be reserved for couple-time. I’d need to try and approach that topic with Gemma at some point without her thinking that I wanted to get rid of her…

The journey home felt like it took years. It normally takes about an hour and a half, and while it only took about 5 extra minutes in reality, it felt like hours. I tried not to speed on the drive home, I really did, but I couldn’t help it.

I smiled when I walked into the house. I could hear the TV on quietly but also Gemma chattering away. Dropping my bag in the hallway, I quickly went into the living room. I grinned when I saw Kade, who immediately smiled when he realised I was home. “How’s my beautiful boyfriend?” I asked, making Kade blush and Gemma go ‘aww’. I grinned at her as I crossed the room and grabbed Kade’s hands to pull him up into my arms tightly. I wrapped my arms around his waist and gazed down into his eyes that gazed back up at me. I lowered my head and quickly kissed his lips. He pulled back with a dark blush and looked over his shoulder at where Gemma had been, but she’d thankfully given us a moment of privacy. Kade turned back to me and grinned, linking his hands behind my neck to pull me back down into a succession of kisses that made me grin. “I missed you today,” I told him, trying to sign while not letting him get too far away from me. Kade blushed and rested his head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes contentedly and rested my head next to his, pressing a kiss to his neck. Kade’s arms around me tightened and I just smiled again. God, I never imagined being this happy.

Eventually, we pulled apart and I took off my jacket and tie before taking Kade’s hand and leading him to the sofa. I fell onto it with a sigh and pulled Kade down onto my lap. He ended up sitting between my legs with his back to my chest, but that was still good. His head rested on my shoulder and I could still reach his lips, so I wasn’t going to complain. “Game of Thrones?” he asked and I grinned and nodded, reaching for the remote. I quickly switched onto the DVD and pressed play on the next episode. I wrapped my arms around Kade’s waist and buried my nose in his soft hair as we settled down to watch Game of Thrones. Kade eventually moved to hold my hand, entwining our fingers and I knew I’d pretty much had this thought on repeat all day, but I’d really never been so happy. I just wanted that moment to go on forever. I never wanted to let go of him.

At the end of the episode, Kade sat up slightly and turned to kiss me tenderly. I smiled and pecked his lips a final time before standing up. “Let’s get dinner started,” I smiled. “You’ll help me cook, right?” Kade grimaced but then smiled and nodded.
“Of course,” he signed, slipping his hand into mine. “What are we making?”
“I dunno,” I said as we went into the kitchen. “Gemma normally does the cooking during the week…so it will probably be something simple.”
“I can handle simple,” Kade signed, sitting on the counter as I rummaged through the fridge and freezer. He pulled out a bag of frozen roast potatoes, some chicken breasts and some veg.
“A mini roast, sort of,” I smiled, placing everything on the counter beside him.
“Sounds good,” Kade signed and I smiled, stretching up to place a kiss on his lips.
“If you two are going to making out over my food, I’m eating elsewhere,” Gemma said and signed as she walked in, making us break apart. The fact that Kade wasn’t blushing told me that maybe he hadn’t seen what she’d signed. I just grinned at her and she rolled her eyes.
“Do you wanna make yourself useful and cut the carrots?” I asked her, handing her the bag of carrots. She stuck her tongue out at me before pulling out a chopping board and knife.
“What can I do?” Kade asked and I smiled and handed him the broccoli. He hopped off the counter with a flourish and pecked my lips before finding a knife and chopping board for himself. I couldn’t help but continue to watch him as he stood next to Gemma, blushing at the grin she was giving him.

I set about defrosting the chicken and warming the oven, before putting in the potatoes to cook. Kade and Gemma both finished their vegetables at the same time and we put them in pans to boil. While we waited for everything to cook, Kade came to stand with me and I pecked his lips before he turned and leant back against my chest. He and Gemma started talking about something but I tuned out, more than happy to just stand and enjoy holding my boyfriend. I knew I should probably be doing something productive, like writing my essay draft or doing some background reading for tomorrow’s lecture, but I really couldn’t bring myself to do it. I just wanted to give this time to Kade.

About 20 minutes later, the oven timer beeped and I opened the oven door, the delicious smell of chicken and potatoes filling the room. “Smells good,” Kade signed and I looked at him closely as I smiled. Part of me was worried that he was only eating to make me happy, but at least he was eating. I just had to worry about the times when he wasn’t around me and I couldn’t check if he was actually eating. But he’d told me he would, so I had to believe him. I knew I could check in with Gemma to see whether Kade ate at lunch times, but I didn’t really want to be that boyfriend that spied on their boyfriend. Kade knew that I was only doing this because I cared about him so I trusted him.

I served up all the food and then poured a generous helping of gravy over all the plates. “I haven’t had anything close to a roast in so long,” Gemma said as we sat down to eat.
“That’s your fault just as much as it is mine,” I pointed out and she just rolled her eyes as she started eating. I just shook my head and looked over at Kade, who had already eaten a significant portion of his food. I smiled at him tenderly and cupped his cheek gently before digging in to my own meal. I wanted to say something, thank you or something like that, but I think he knew. We didn’t need words; he could see it in my eyes.

After dinner, Gemma said she was going to go and call one of her friends, so she went upstairs to her bedroom while Kade and I went back to the living room. I wasn’t really sure if Gemma really was phoning someone or if she just wanted to give us space, but I appreciated it either way. Kade snuggled back into me like he had earlier and I hugged him tightly, pressing a quick kiss to his temple. He’d eaten the majority of what I’d put on his plate, and it had been a pretty big meal, so I was happy with that. “Dylan?” Kade signed after a minute of sitting quietly.
“Yeah?” I sighed around him.
“I was just thinking,” he signed. It was kind of awkward, because his signs were backwards for me to read, seeing as I was behind him, but I managed to understand what he was signing. “Was yesterday really expensive for you?” he signed and I smiled gently.
“It was worth it,” I told him and he turned to straddle my lap and frowned at me.
“You don’t need to spend loads of money on me,” he signed and I rolled my eyes.
“I wanted to,” I said. “Besides, I work full time, so I can make the money back no problem.”
“How about for our next date, we just go to the park or something?” he suggested and I frowned.
“Why don’t you like me spoiling you?” I said, running my fingers through his hair. “Of all people, I like spending money on you. And I get a loan for uni, so I don’t need it for that. And it’s only me and Gemma, so I have enough money to take you on good dates and stuff. I like being able to spend my money on you.” Kade gazed into my eyes, clearly torn about what to say.
“I do appreciate it,” he signed slowly and I knew there was more that he wanted to say but wasn’t sure about it.
“But?” I prompted and he smiled at me shyly.
“But I feel bad,” he signed and I rolled my eyes around a smile.
“Don’t feel bad, baby,” I said. “You’re my boyfriend. Who else am I going to spend my money on?” Kade eyes shimmered as he looked at me and for a moment I was scared he was going to cry, but instead, he just leant forward and kissed me. My hands slid to his waist and rested just a tad above the curve of his arse as he shifted himself closer to me. Kneeling over me as he was made him slightly taller than me and I craned my neck back so I could kiss him properly. His hands moved to my hair and tugged slightly and I couldn’t help but moan into the kiss. My teeth nipped at his lower lip making him gasp and pull back. “Sorry,” I quickly signed, worried that I’d freaked him out. The last thing I wanted to do was rush him and push him into something he wasn’t ready for. But could you blame me if I got a bit carried away?
“It’s okay,” Kade signed, a blush rising in his cheeks. “I liked it.” I felt my stomach tighten for a reason I didn’t quite want to analyse. “Can we do it again?” he signed and all I could do was nod. I slid my hand up to the back of Kade’s neck and pulled him back down into a kiss. Gradually, I nipped at his bottom lip again and instead of pulling back, Kade just pushed himself closer to me. I sucked his lower lip gently and then went back to the gentle kisses we were used to. Kade’s hands were still knotted in my hair and he didn’t seem to care that my right hand had slid from his waist to slip into his back pocket. Cautiously, I licked Kade’s bottom lip and he met my tongue with his. A shiver ran down my spine, but a good shiver. I squeezed his arse gently which earned me a soft moan from Kade. God I wanted to hear that noise again. It felt like every soft moan and whimper that escaped his lips was as precious as gold. Kade so rarely made any noise that I was going to treasure every sound he made. Kade’s tongue stroked over mine and I couldn’t help but moan as well. For someone who had never kissed like this before, he was doing a hell of a job. Kade shifted again in my lap and I suddenly realised that I was starting to have a bit of a problem. And my work trousers were definitely not the best material to keep something like that hidden. As much as I didn’t want it to end, I gently eased out of the kiss.

We were both short of breath, but we hadn’t seemed to care while we’d been kissing. “Wow,” Kade signed and I grinned, placing a final lingering kiss to his lips.
“You’re a good kisser,” I told him and he blushed.
“So are you,” he signed and I chuckled. I looked over his shoulder at the time. It was only 8.30 so we still had a couple of hours until I had to take him home.
“Want to watch another episode of Game of Thrones?” I asked him and he smiled and nodded.
“Yeah,” he signed. “That sounds good.” Kade resituated himself between my legs like before – luckily my ‘problem’ had gone away – and I flicked the television on and put on the next episode. I wrapped my arms back around Kade’s waist and we settled in to watch TV.

Just over an hour later, as the credits rolled over the screen, Gemma came into the room with her implant in. “I’m going to bed,” she said and signed and I nodded. “See you at school, Kade.” He smiled and nodded from his position in my lap and I got the impression that he was embarrassed. I just pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Night, Dylan.”
“Night,” I signed. Gemma grinned at us before vanishing back to her room. “So I guess I should take you home now,” I sighed and Kade sighed and fell back against me.
“I’m comfy,” he signed and I smiled and pressed a few light kisses to his cheek and jaw.
“Me too,” I signed. “But I better not keep you out too late. You’ve got school tomorrow.” Kade pouted and it was so tempting to suggest he stay here for the night again. But maybe this time in my bed, but I didn’t. Maybe I’d give it a week or something before I suggest something like that. Not that I wouldn’t love falling asleep and waking up with Kade in my arms, but it’s kind of a big step. It’s pretty intimate and sort of the next level and Kade had only just become comfortable with making out. Though I had been groping his arse like a sex-crazed teenager and he hadn’t reacted to that at all. Maybe a couple days instead of a week…

Eventually, we moved from the sofa and Kade grabbed his bag and shoes while I found my keys. It was the first evening in a long time that I hadn’t changed out of my work clothes the minute I walked into the house. But I’d just wanted to maximise my time with Kade, especially considering I had lectures the rest of the week and I wasn’t sure how much time I’d get to spend with him. Maybe I should make Monday nights a sort of ‘date night’ for us. That would ensure Kade never made plans and I could see him as much as possible, right? I’d bring it up at some point.

The drive back to Kade’s house was as quiet as ever, though I could tell that Kade still felt comfortable and I couldn’t help but smile. I loved that he felt so comfortable with me after only a few weeks. Because even though I was quickly falling head over heels for him, we’d technically only known each other for 4 weeks. We’d kissed 1 week ago. And now he was my boyfriend. It had all gone so quickly but it was also kinda perfect.

When we pulled up outside Kade’s house, I glanced inside the front window where the lights were still on. “Do you parents mind you staying out so late?” I asked and Kade lowered his gaze and shrugged.
“I don’t really have a time I have to be home by,” he said and I frowned slightly.
“They don’t care that you’re always at ours?” I asked and Kade just shrugged again before looking up at me with a smile.
“I enjoyed being with you tonight,” he signed and I knew he was changing the subject, but I let him do it. He clearly didn’t want to talk about his parents.
“Me, too,” I smiled, bringing my hand to his neck and pulling him in for a tender kiss. I so badly wanted a repeat of earlier, but I knew now wasn’t the time. “Are you tired?” I asked and Kade frowned at me curiously. “I mean, we could skype for a bit if you want? Once I get home.” Kade smiled and quickly kissed me once more.
“I’m not tired at all,” he said and I smiled.
“Great,” I said happily. “I just can’t seem to get enough of you.” Kade blushed and bit his lip but I could still see the grin that was trying to burst through. Deciding to put him out of his misery, I just kissed him once again to save him having to reply. The gentle kiss quickly grew deeper but we couldn’t get as close as we wanted to in the limited space of the car and Kade moaned in frustration. I pulled back eventually and cupped his cheek in my hand. Was it crazy that I just didn’t want him to leave? I leant forward and placed a few feather-light kisses to his lips before pulling back. “Okay, you should go otherwise I’m not going to let you leave,” I told him and he smiled at me, pecking my lips once more before opening the door and getting out of the car. I watched him walk inside, just wanting to follow him, and then turned my attention back to the road and headed back home.

When I walked through the front door, I quickly went through the house turning off the lights and locking the doors. Gemma appeared in her bedroom door when I got to the top of the stairs and smiled at me. I wondered if she’d even been asleep yet despite what she’d said earlier. “You know, you’re quite a cute couple,” she said and signed and I think I might have blushed.
“Thanks,” I signed, considering she didn’t have her processor in.
“Sow how much of Game of Thrones did you actually watch in between sucking each other’s faces off?” she asked and I grimaced at the term, though I couldn’t deny its accuracy…
“We only kissed while we weren’t watching the show,” I said, choosing to ignore the few light kisses we’d shared during the slightly duller scenes. Well, not ignore exactly…but not let Gemma know about them. “How do you even know we were kissing?” I asked her and she rolled her eyes.
“I came in to see if you guys wanted dessert,” she said. “You didn’t even notice me, I don’t think you even took a breath.”
“Oh God,” I moaned and even though I didn’t sign it, Gemma laughed. “Don’t let Kade know you saw, he’ll get super embarrassed.”
“I know,” she smiled. “I won't. I just like winding you up.” I just rolled my eyes.
“I’m going to bed,” I said – Gemma didn’t need to know I was going to Skype my boyfriend…and I didn’t need any more teasing.
“Okay, night,” she smiled, giving me a quick hug before going back into her room. I just shook my head and turned off the hallway light before going into my bedroom.

I changed out of my suit and into a pair of pyjama bottoms and an old t-shirt. I sat crossed legged on my bed – although that’s not exactly a flattering pose for a laptop webcam – and turned my laptop on. Once it was loaded, I planned to go straight to Skype Kade, but I got side tracked by logging into Facebook. It wasn’t a website I frequently used any more – not really since my parents died - but I felt the need to go on and change my relationship status. It felt like that would make it more permanent, more real. Plus, I wanted the whole world to know how happy I was, and settling for my hundred or so facebook friends would have to do. After changing my status, I logged into Skype in the hope that I’d be able to video chat with my beautiful boyfriend.