Your Voice
Dylan.
I was late to work that Monday morning. But when I’d told John that I had a meeting at Gemma’s school to discuss something important, he seemed to understand. Sure, I wasn’t exactly discussing Gemma…but I kept that quiet. I really appreciated that he let me have a few hours off that morning. I’d thought about it long and hard; it’s not like I went to talk to the school’s head teacher on a whim. I booked an appointment and everything. I’d gone back and forth over the decision even after I’d booked the appointment the previous Wednesday. On the one hand, I didn’t exactly like going behind Kade’s back and complaining on his behalf. But on the other, I really didn’t like the way he seemed to be treated. If it was Gemma on the receiving end, I wouldn’t even hesitate. And obviously Kade’s parents weren’t going to intervene so who else did he have? It might not be my responsibility, as his boyfriend, to complain about how he was treated, so I didn’t take that route.
The meeting lasted about 40 minutes and I made sure to emphasise the fact that I was there as Gemma’s brother, as I had heard from her about the way Kade was treated. I just wanted to make the head teacher aware of it as I doubted that she actually was. And she did seem shocked about my allegations and told me she’d look into it. It wasn’t quite the reaction I’d been hoping for, but it was better than nothing. I hated that I’d had to hold back and even censor myself. I didn’t want her to realise that I was complaining because I was in a relationship with Kade. Because that wasn’t the point. The way he was treated was terrible and I would feel the need to complain if Gemma had told me that any of her peers were treated in that way. The fact that Kade was my boyfriend was almost irrelevant. But it did make me slightly more passionate.
I got in to work at about 11.30, after my meeting at 9.30 with Mrs Thompson. “Everything okay?” John asked when he saw I’d arrived.
“Yeah,” I smiled. “Thanks for giving me a couple hours off.”
“No problem,” he said. “You work hard every day, I’d be a pretty mean boss if I don’t say no when you’ve got an important meeting for Gemma.” I just smiled. I felt kind of guilty about lying to him because John honestly was a great boss. He might even have given me time off if he knew that the meeting had actually been about my boyfriend.
“Well, I appreciate it,” I smiled. “Anything I need to urgently catch up on?”
“Nope,” he smiled. “It’s been a slow morning.” I just nodded and opened up my emails and started sorting through the 10 or so emails I’d received that morning about meetings for John. John retreated back into his office and got back onto his computer and started typing away.
My thoughts turned to Kade as I worked, as they often did. But instead of smiling at the thought of my boyfriend, I couldn’t help but worry. Right about then, Kade would be being told he’d need to go to the office to discuss what I’d reported that morning. I was not looking forward to what would happen when I got home. I knew Mrs Thompson wouldn’t tell Kade who had gone to see her, only that she’d heard reports about the fact that he hadn’t been being treated right. But still, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to keep it a secret from Kade that I’d been the one who complained. While I’d been going back and forth about actually having the meeting, I’d also been considering whether or not to tell Kade. I knew he didn’t want me to say anything to the school, he’d outright said that several times since telling me what Mr Roberts did. But the more I’d thought about it, the more I realised I couldn’t sit back and do nothing. I still wasn’t sure whether to tell Kade what I’d done or not.
I didn’t hear from Kade all afternoon, which worried me slightly. He normally always texted me when he finished school to tell me if he was going back to my house with Gemma or not. But that afternoon I didn’t hear from him. I was beyond relieved that I didn’t have lectures that afternoon, because it meant I would be able to see him that much sooner. But at the same time…I kinda wished I could put off seeing him. Which was crazy, and something I’d never wished for before, but I knew it would be tense when I got home. Gemma might have even figured it out. Or Kade himself might have even figured it out. Maybe that was why he hadn’t texted me…
I was on edge the entire journey home. I was tempted to text Gemma and ask her what was going on, but I didn’t. This was between me and Kade, really, and I wanted to keep it that way. I just had to be patient – I’d find out what was going on soon enough.
My stomach was churning when I finally walked through my front door. “Gemma?” I called out. I wasn’t even sure if she was home.
“We’re in the living room,” she called back. We. Kade was there, then. I took a deep breath and went into the living room. My boyfriend was sitting in the corner of the sofa, his knees pulled into his chest with his arms wrapped around them.
“Everything okay?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“I was called in to see the head teacher this afternoon,” Kade signed and I looked away from him for a second. My eyes jumped to Gemma and I knew she’d figured it out already. But as far as I could tell, Kade hadn’t.
“Why?” I asked anyway.
“Apparently someone made a complaint against Mr Roberts,” he signed. “And Mrs Thompson wanted my side of the story. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I just wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened.” I ran my hands through my hair as guilt spiked in my chest. I moved to sit next to Kade on the sofa and he uncurled himself and moved into my side. I smiled softly and closed my eyes once I wrapped my arms around his body. I knew I was going to have to tell him; I couldn’t lie to him. But I knew he would be upset. He had every right to be.
“So what’s Mrs Thompson going to do?” I asked and Kade shrugged.
“She said she’d look into it,” he signed. “She’s having a meeting with Mr Smith and Mr Lynn and then with Mr Roberts. But she hasn’t got any actual evidence so I don’t think anything will happen.”
“That’s crap,” I said instantly. Mr Roberts deserved, if not to be fired, then at least disciplined. How could the school do nothing? Kade pulled back and frowned at me curiously. “I mean, she can’t just ignore what's going on,” I said and he continued to frown at me as he shrugged.
“I just want to know who it was that went to her in the first place,” he signed. “Gemma swears it wasn’t her or Chris. And Mr Smith and Mr Lynn were both in lessons…” I glanced over at Gemma and she was now glaring at me; yeah, she definitely had figured it out. Kade shook his head and sighed softly, leaning back against me. I pressed a kiss to his head as I held him tightly. “So how was work?” he signed after a minute and I smiled softly. I loved him so much. I hadn’t meant to hurt him by talking to the school; I just felt it was the right thing to do.
“It was fine,” I said. “John’s still stressing over the Christmas campaign for next year, so he’s all over the place. But not too bad.” I left out the part that I’d been almost 3 hours late for work, obviously.
Gemma excused herself a little while later, sending me another glare which Kade didn’t catch. I just squirmed in my seat. I really had believed that going to the school had been the right thing to do. But I was starting to regret it. I was starting to feel guilty about going behind Kade’s back. “Are you staying over tonight?” I asked him and he smiled and nodded before shifting into my lap.
“Yes please,” he signed and I smiled and placed a tender kiss to his lips. I realised then that that was the first kiss we’d shared since I’d got home and I quickly placed a succession of gentle kisses to his lips to make up for it. He smiled at me as I pulled away, the previous sadness that had been in his eyes vanishing. I didn’t want him to be sad, I loved him so freaking much and all I wanted was for him to be happy. I just wanted to be there for him and protect him from things that he couldn’t protect himself from. I knew that he was strong and brave and had handled a hell of a lot more in his childhood than most people handle in a lifetime, but I didn’t want him to have to handle everything on his own.
We stayed in the living room for a while until Kade’s stomach started rumbling. “Hungry?” I asked him with a smile and he just smiled and shrugged, snuggling into my chest. “Your stomach’s rumbling,” I said and he blushed and ducked his head.
“Oh,” he signed and I chuckled softly.
“What do you fancy?” I asked and he shrugged again.
“Whatever you feel like cooking,” he signed with a smile and I grinned and planted a kiss on his lips.
“Alright, come on,” I said, easing him off my lap and standing up.
We make spaghetti Bolognese for dinner because its just the easiest thing to make. Well, I find it easy anyway. I liked cooking with Kade. We didn’t do it all that often because of how late I get home; either Gemma cooked for when I got back or Kade and I ate out. It was nice cooking with him, I could see us doing it for a long time to come.
I managed not to think about the whole school issue for a few hours. Kade and I watched a movie and Gemma stayed up in her room, so it worked pretty well. It was while we were getting ready for bed that my guilt started nagging at me again. Kade clapped so get my attention before signing, “are you okay?” I smiled softly and pulled back the duvet and got into bed, with Kade beside me.
“Yeah,” I nodded, pressing a kiss to his lips. He melted against me and I ran my fingers down his back and then under his t-shirt that he was sleeping in. He shifted closer to me and his hands went to my hair, where he held tight. I pulled back from the kiss for a moment and leant my forehead against his. I gazed down into his wide blue eyes that were looking at me so full of trust that I knew I couldn’t keep it a secret. I sighed and pulled away from him. “I need to tell you something,” I said and Kade frowned curiously.
“What’s wrong?” he signed and I bit my lip. I didn’t want to tell him; I knew it would only hurt him when he found out. But he deserved to know.
“I was the one who spoke to Mrs Thompson,” I said and the smile on Kade’s face melted away to be replaced with hurt and confusion.
“You?” he signed with a frown. “Why?”
“I didn’t like the way you were being treated,” I said quickly, thankful that he’d given me a chance to explain myself. “I knew that no one else would speak up for you and I didn’t like sitting here doing nothing when you were so clearly upset.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, shifting away from me slightly though I tried not to notice.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I just…I knew you wouldn’t like it.”
“Then you shouldn’t have done it!” he signed and I had no argument for that. Kade looked away, his eyes darting around the room, clearly trying to process what I’d told him. I could see how hurt he was. He clambered off the bed but then just stood there. I held my breath, waiting to see what he would do. “Take me home,” he signed and my face fell as my heart missed a beat.
“No,” I said quickly, forgetting to sign. I scrambled over the bed and took his hands in mine and kissed them. “I’m sorry,” I said once I checked he was looking at me and could read my lips. “I’m so sorry.”
“You lied to me,” he said, taking his hands out of mine. “You went behind my back.” I bit my lip; there was very little I could say to defend my actions.
“I just wanted to help,” I said. “You’re so important to me and I hated seeing you upset from what happened with Mr Roberts. And I didn’t want it happening again.” Kade lowered his gaze and stared at the floor for several moments. I bit my lip as I waited for him to say or do something. But the fact that he was still here…that was a good sign, right?
“Okay,” he signed eventually and I let out a breath.
“Really?” I whispered as he looked up and met my gaze. He just smiled and nodded and I pulled him into my arms. I closed my eyes and squeezed him tight, “God, I love you so much.” He pulled away a moment later and looked up at me with a frown.
“Don’t do it again, okay?” he said and I smiled and nodded.
“I promise,” I said. “Next time I’ll talk to you before doing anything.” He frowned for a second before sighing and nodding. He moved back into my arms and wrapped his around my waist tightly. I smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
I took Kade’s hands and we got back in bed. Kade curled up to my side and rested his head on my chest and I smiled. I felt 10 tons lighter after telling him the truth and having him forgive me. I dotted kisses to Kade’s skin wherever I could reach and I heard him giggling. I grinned as I placed a final kiss to his lips. How did I get so lucky?
The meeting lasted about 40 minutes and I made sure to emphasise the fact that I was there as Gemma’s brother, as I had heard from her about the way Kade was treated. I just wanted to make the head teacher aware of it as I doubted that she actually was. And she did seem shocked about my allegations and told me she’d look into it. It wasn’t quite the reaction I’d been hoping for, but it was better than nothing. I hated that I’d had to hold back and even censor myself. I didn’t want her to realise that I was complaining because I was in a relationship with Kade. Because that wasn’t the point. The way he was treated was terrible and I would feel the need to complain if Gemma had told me that any of her peers were treated in that way. The fact that Kade was my boyfriend was almost irrelevant. But it did make me slightly more passionate.
I got in to work at about 11.30, after my meeting at 9.30 with Mrs Thompson. “Everything okay?” John asked when he saw I’d arrived.
“Yeah,” I smiled. “Thanks for giving me a couple hours off.”
“No problem,” he said. “You work hard every day, I’d be a pretty mean boss if I don’t say no when you’ve got an important meeting for Gemma.” I just smiled. I felt kind of guilty about lying to him because John honestly was a great boss. He might even have given me time off if he knew that the meeting had actually been about my boyfriend.
“Well, I appreciate it,” I smiled. “Anything I need to urgently catch up on?”
“Nope,” he smiled. “It’s been a slow morning.” I just nodded and opened up my emails and started sorting through the 10 or so emails I’d received that morning about meetings for John. John retreated back into his office and got back onto his computer and started typing away.
My thoughts turned to Kade as I worked, as they often did. But instead of smiling at the thought of my boyfriend, I couldn’t help but worry. Right about then, Kade would be being told he’d need to go to the office to discuss what I’d reported that morning. I was not looking forward to what would happen when I got home. I knew Mrs Thompson wouldn’t tell Kade who had gone to see her, only that she’d heard reports about the fact that he hadn’t been being treated right. But still, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to keep it a secret from Kade that I’d been the one who complained. While I’d been going back and forth about actually having the meeting, I’d also been considering whether or not to tell Kade. I knew he didn’t want me to say anything to the school, he’d outright said that several times since telling me what Mr Roberts did. But the more I’d thought about it, the more I realised I couldn’t sit back and do nothing. I still wasn’t sure whether to tell Kade what I’d done or not.
I didn’t hear from Kade all afternoon, which worried me slightly. He normally always texted me when he finished school to tell me if he was going back to my house with Gemma or not. But that afternoon I didn’t hear from him. I was beyond relieved that I didn’t have lectures that afternoon, because it meant I would be able to see him that much sooner. But at the same time…I kinda wished I could put off seeing him. Which was crazy, and something I’d never wished for before, but I knew it would be tense when I got home. Gemma might have even figured it out. Or Kade himself might have even figured it out. Maybe that was why he hadn’t texted me…
I was on edge the entire journey home. I was tempted to text Gemma and ask her what was going on, but I didn’t. This was between me and Kade, really, and I wanted to keep it that way. I just had to be patient – I’d find out what was going on soon enough.
My stomach was churning when I finally walked through my front door. “Gemma?” I called out. I wasn’t even sure if she was home.
“We’re in the living room,” she called back. We. Kade was there, then. I took a deep breath and went into the living room. My boyfriend was sitting in the corner of the sofa, his knees pulled into his chest with his arms wrapped around them.
“Everything okay?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“I was called in to see the head teacher this afternoon,” Kade signed and I looked away from him for a second. My eyes jumped to Gemma and I knew she’d figured it out already. But as far as I could tell, Kade hadn’t.
“Why?” I asked anyway.
“Apparently someone made a complaint against Mr Roberts,” he signed. “And Mrs Thompson wanted my side of the story. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I just wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened.” I ran my hands through my hair as guilt spiked in my chest. I moved to sit next to Kade on the sofa and he uncurled himself and moved into my side. I smiled softly and closed my eyes once I wrapped my arms around his body. I knew I was going to have to tell him; I couldn’t lie to him. But I knew he would be upset. He had every right to be.
“So what’s Mrs Thompson going to do?” I asked and Kade shrugged.
“She said she’d look into it,” he signed. “She’s having a meeting with Mr Smith and Mr Lynn and then with Mr Roberts. But she hasn’t got any actual evidence so I don’t think anything will happen.”
“That’s crap,” I said instantly. Mr Roberts deserved, if not to be fired, then at least disciplined. How could the school do nothing? Kade pulled back and frowned at me curiously. “I mean, she can’t just ignore what's going on,” I said and he continued to frown at me as he shrugged.
“I just want to know who it was that went to her in the first place,” he signed. “Gemma swears it wasn’t her or Chris. And Mr Smith and Mr Lynn were both in lessons…” I glanced over at Gemma and she was now glaring at me; yeah, she definitely had figured it out. Kade shook his head and sighed softly, leaning back against me. I pressed a kiss to his head as I held him tightly. “So how was work?” he signed after a minute and I smiled softly. I loved him so much. I hadn’t meant to hurt him by talking to the school; I just felt it was the right thing to do.
“It was fine,” I said. “John’s still stressing over the Christmas campaign for next year, so he’s all over the place. But not too bad.” I left out the part that I’d been almost 3 hours late for work, obviously.
Gemma excused herself a little while later, sending me another glare which Kade didn’t catch. I just squirmed in my seat. I really had believed that going to the school had been the right thing to do. But I was starting to regret it. I was starting to feel guilty about going behind Kade’s back. “Are you staying over tonight?” I asked him and he smiled and nodded before shifting into my lap.
“Yes please,” he signed and I smiled and placed a tender kiss to his lips. I realised then that that was the first kiss we’d shared since I’d got home and I quickly placed a succession of gentle kisses to his lips to make up for it. He smiled at me as I pulled away, the previous sadness that had been in his eyes vanishing. I didn’t want him to be sad, I loved him so freaking much and all I wanted was for him to be happy. I just wanted to be there for him and protect him from things that he couldn’t protect himself from. I knew that he was strong and brave and had handled a hell of a lot more in his childhood than most people handle in a lifetime, but I didn’t want him to have to handle everything on his own.
We stayed in the living room for a while until Kade’s stomach started rumbling. “Hungry?” I asked him with a smile and he just smiled and shrugged, snuggling into my chest. “Your stomach’s rumbling,” I said and he blushed and ducked his head.
“Oh,” he signed and I chuckled softly.
“What do you fancy?” I asked and he shrugged again.
“Whatever you feel like cooking,” he signed with a smile and I grinned and planted a kiss on his lips.
“Alright, come on,” I said, easing him off my lap and standing up.
We make spaghetti Bolognese for dinner because its just the easiest thing to make. Well, I find it easy anyway. I liked cooking with Kade. We didn’t do it all that often because of how late I get home; either Gemma cooked for when I got back or Kade and I ate out. It was nice cooking with him, I could see us doing it for a long time to come.
I managed not to think about the whole school issue for a few hours. Kade and I watched a movie and Gemma stayed up in her room, so it worked pretty well. It was while we were getting ready for bed that my guilt started nagging at me again. Kade clapped so get my attention before signing, “are you okay?” I smiled softly and pulled back the duvet and got into bed, with Kade beside me.
“Yeah,” I nodded, pressing a kiss to his lips. He melted against me and I ran my fingers down his back and then under his t-shirt that he was sleeping in. He shifted closer to me and his hands went to my hair, where he held tight. I pulled back from the kiss for a moment and leant my forehead against his. I gazed down into his wide blue eyes that were looking at me so full of trust that I knew I couldn’t keep it a secret. I sighed and pulled away from him. “I need to tell you something,” I said and Kade frowned curiously.
“What’s wrong?” he signed and I bit my lip. I didn’t want to tell him; I knew it would only hurt him when he found out. But he deserved to know.
“I was the one who spoke to Mrs Thompson,” I said and the smile on Kade’s face melted away to be replaced with hurt and confusion.
“You?” he signed with a frown. “Why?”
“I didn’t like the way you were being treated,” I said quickly, thankful that he’d given me a chance to explain myself. “I knew that no one else would speak up for you and I didn’t like sitting here doing nothing when you were so clearly upset.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, shifting away from me slightly though I tried not to notice.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I just…I knew you wouldn’t like it.”
“Then you shouldn’t have done it!” he signed and I had no argument for that. Kade looked away, his eyes darting around the room, clearly trying to process what I’d told him. I could see how hurt he was. He clambered off the bed but then just stood there. I held my breath, waiting to see what he would do. “Take me home,” he signed and my face fell as my heart missed a beat.
“No,” I said quickly, forgetting to sign. I scrambled over the bed and took his hands in mine and kissed them. “I’m sorry,” I said once I checked he was looking at me and could read my lips. “I’m so sorry.”
“You lied to me,” he said, taking his hands out of mine. “You went behind my back.” I bit my lip; there was very little I could say to defend my actions.
“I just wanted to help,” I said. “You’re so important to me and I hated seeing you upset from what happened with Mr Roberts. And I didn’t want it happening again.” Kade lowered his gaze and stared at the floor for several moments. I bit my lip as I waited for him to say or do something. But the fact that he was still here…that was a good sign, right?
“Okay,” he signed eventually and I let out a breath.
“Really?” I whispered as he looked up and met my gaze. He just smiled and nodded and I pulled him into my arms. I closed my eyes and squeezed him tight, “God, I love you so much.” He pulled away a moment later and looked up at me with a frown.
“Don’t do it again, okay?” he said and I smiled and nodded.
“I promise,” I said. “Next time I’ll talk to you before doing anything.” He frowned for a second before sighing and nodding. He moved back into my arms and wrapped his around my waist tightly. I smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.
I took Kade’s hands and we got back in bed. Kade curled up to my side and rested his head on my chest and I smiled. I felt 10 tons lighter after telling him the truth and having him forgive me. I dotted kisses to Kade’s skin wherever I could reach and I heard him giggling. I grinned as I placed a final kiss to his lips. How did I get so lucky?