Your Voice

I was kind of fidgety all day. I’d been half aware of Gemma’s plans before Kade opened up about the surprise party she was throwing. It was flattering and I honestly couldn’t wait to go home. When Phil stopped by my desk half way through the day, I wondered whether he was going to say anything about the party or my birthday in a few days, but he kept it focused on work. It made me wonder whether Gemma had invited Phil and his family. She must have, though; they were the only family we had left. Phil had been there for us when we hadn’t had anyone else. He was almost like a second father and I owed him so much. His kids were nice enough too. Charlie was in that sullen teenage phase, but he wasn’t too bad. And Claire was still innocent and playful. I loved seeing them, I wished I had more time for it.

At five o’clock, I logged out of my emails and shut my computer down. I said goodbye to John, though he was intently focused on his computer and so I didn’t get much of a reply. I didn’t mind too much. I texted Kade to tell him I was on my way home and he just replied with a smiley face. I couldn’t help but grin at my phone. I knew I had to keep up the act of it all being a surprise, which I was happy to do. I didn’t want Gemma getting angry at Kade.

I walked the short journey back from the station and saw movement in the living room window which I pretended to ignore. I bit back a smile as I walked through the front door. It was oddly quiet which, if I hadn’t already known, would have made me suspect something was going on. The television wasn’t even on, which was strange for a Monday afternoon.

I went through to the living room, where everyone was gathered. “Surprise!” they all yelled – Claire shouting the loudest in her excitement.
“Whoa,” I grinned, looking around at everyone with a wide grin. My gaze landed on Chris for a moment and I quickly looked away before my grin faltered. Why had they thought to invite Chris of all people? I found Gemma and took her into a tight hug. “You did all this?” I asked and she shrugged.
“Kade and Chris helped,” she said and I smiled and shook my head. I looked around the living room – which was at capacity with 8 people in there – and took in all the streamers and balloons.
“You didn’t need to,” I told her and she rolled her eyes.
“Of course I did,” she said. “You’re turning 21, you deserve a celebration!”
“You’re the best little sister ever,” I smiled, hugging her once again. She just shrugged and moved out of my embrace as Claire made her way to my side.
“Happy birthday, Dylan,” she said happily and I grinned down at her.
“Thanks, sweetie,” I smiled, crouching down and taking her into a tight hug. Charlie and his mum, Nicole, were standing together just behind Claire, and Nicole took me into a hug. Such a motherly hug that I felt my eyes sting for a second.
“Happy birthday, Dylan,” she said. “Your parents would be so proud.” Oh, God. I smiled weakly before turning away. I didn’t want to think about them right then. Suddenly, Kade appeared at my side and slid his hand into mine. I smiled down at him. Whether he’d known I’d needed him or whether he’d just decided to make himself known, I wasn’t sure, but I was glad he was there. “And your boyfriend’s a real sweetheart,” Nicole added.
“I think so, too,” I said, squeezing Kade’s hand. I wasn’t sure if he was keeping up with reading Nicole’s lips but I didn’t want him to think I’d forgotten about him.
“It’s good to see you so happy,” she said and I smiled and thanked her. Phil then came up behind his wife and rested his hand on her shoulder as he grinned at me.
“I almost thought I would spill the beans at work,” he said and I laughed and shook my head.
“I had no idea,” I said to him. “You’re a good actor.” Phil scoffed as he laughed.

We put a film on for Charlie and Claire, so they wouldn’t get bored, and then Gemma brought out some finger food and drinks. Kade said no to anything alcoholic, but Phil, Chris and I all had a beer while Gemma and Nicole had a glass of wine. I didn’t particularly mind Gemma drinking. It was only a glass of wine, plus what trouble could she get into if she was at home? I was still confused as to why Chris was there, but I decided not to over think it and just enjoyed having a proper catch up with Phil and Nicole. There was only so much time that Phil and I could talk at work before we got impatient looks from other people. And it was nice to hear how Charlie and Claire were getting on.

I felt kind of bad for Kade, though. Obviously Phil and Nicole didn’t know too much sign language. They’d learnt some when Gemma had lost her hearing but they’d not needed it once she had the implant and so they’d forgotten most of it. Obviously Gemma and I translated what we needed to, but most of the conversation wasn’t all that interesting for him anyway.

Nicole did put in the effort once we’d all caught up. She asked Kade about school and what he wanted to do at university – something I hadn’t really thought about properly at that point. They were only half way through year 12. They still had a year before they had to apply and almost 2 before they would actually be going. But still, I didn’t like the thought. It was strange – I was completely up for Gemma going off to university and exploring the world and gaining independence. But I didn’t want Kade to leave. The thought was terrifying.

I realised that while I’d been having a mini freak out, Gemma had been translating what Kade signed and I missed it. “English Literature would be so interesting,” Nicole said and I figured that’s what Kade said he wanted to do.
“Yeah, I love reading and it’s something that I can do that doesn’t require being able to hear,” he said and my heart broke a little for him.
“Where were you thinking of going?” Nicole asked and my heart jumped in anticipation of his answer. Please not somewhere hundreds of miles away.
“I don’t really know yet,” he said. “I haven’t thought all that much about it.” Nicole smiled and nodded and I let out a sigh of relief. Phil then started asked Chris similar questions. I quickly excused myself to go get more drinks and motioned for Kade to come with me.

We went into the kitchen and I quickly wrapped my arms around him once we were alone. I pressed a kiss to his lips before pulling back. “Just realised I haven’t said hello to you yet,” I said, hoping Kade could read my lips because I had no intention of letting him go. Kade grinned.
“Hello,” he managed to sign in between our bodies before he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and kissed me once again, our bodies flush together. I squeezed his hips gently and he pulled away, falling back onto the balls of his feet. I loved that he had to go on tip toe to kiss me.
“We probably shouldn’t be gone much longer,” I said and Kade nodded, a blush on his cheeks. I just grinned and pecked his lips once more before grabbing 3 more bottles from the fridge. “Why is Chris here?” I asked, choosing to sign instead of speak just in case someone heard. Kade tensed for a second before shrugging and all but running from the room with a plate of mini quiches. I frowned at his behaviour but followed him back into the living room. I handed Chris and Phil their drinks before settling on the sofa beside Kade once again.

We spent the next few hours chatting or watching bits and pieces of the film that Charlie and Claire were watching. Claire was hugging a balloon that looked dangerously close to popping but I couldn’t bring myself to take it off her. I just didn’t want her to cry if she squeezed it too hard and it did pop. Nicole handed me a small box and a card when everyone went quiet and I smiled at her. “You didn’t need to get me anything,” I said and Nicole rolled her eyes and shook her head.
“Don’t be silly,” she said. “You’re family.” I lump formed in my throat and I quickly looked away. I opened the card which was the usual happy birthday card, decorated with glitter and balloons. It was signed from all of them and there was a crisp £20 note inside. I smiled over at Nicole who smiled back. I opened the small box, which had a label on it, indicating it was from the kids. Inside was a dark blue silk tie.
“This is great,” I smiled. “Perfect for work. Thanks, guys.” Claire came over and gave me another hug and I grinned at Charlie who smiled back.

At about 8 o’clock, Gemma excused herself and Chris followed after her. I frowned but tried to ignore it. Kade took my hand and laced his fingers with mine, shooting me a soft smile. I sighed and smiled back. The longer they were gone, the more agitated I became but then Chris came back into the room with Gemma following him, holding a large chocolate cake and I relaxed as I grinned.

Everyone burst into Happy Birthday, even Claire and Charlie, who were temporarily distracted from the television at the prospect of cake. I blew out the candles – 21 of them – and everyone clapped. Gemma went back into the kitchen for a knife, plates and forks and Kade turned to me with a smile. “What did you wish for?” he asked and I paused for a second. It hadn’t even occurred to me to make a wish. Aware of everyone around me, I signed back.
“Nothing,” I signed. “I have everything I could want.” Kade smiled at me lovingly and I placed a light kiss to his lips. I glanced over at Chris once I pulled away and he was smiling softly at our display of affection. I just couldn’t work him out…

Only a few minutes later everyone silently tucked into their cake. It was two layers of chocolate cake with chocolate icing. My favourite. Gemma knew better than to get a non-chocolate cake. Kade cut himself a small slice but at my frown, quickly made it slightly larger. His eating habits had got a hell of a lot better but I could still see his reluctance to eat sometimes. I didn’t understand why. He could gain loads of weight and I’d still love him.

Phil and Nicole left at about 9 o’clock, as they had to get the kids to bed. School night, after all. Instead of all squishing into the hallway to say goodbye, we said our goodbyes in the living room. As I was hugging Claire, I overheard Phil talking to Gemma. “Chris is great, he’s a lucky guy to have a girl like you,” he said and I immediately stood and turned towards them. Gemma shot me a look before quickly looking away, a blush forming on her cheeks. I searched the room for Chris, who quickly grabbed Kade and pulled him towards the kitchen. So that was what was going on. Chris was with Gemma. I gritted my teeth and held back my reaction until after Phil and his family had left.

Once the door was closed, I turned to Gemma. “I was going to tell you,” she said and I sighed. I really didn’t want to do this right now. It had been such a lovely evening and now it would end in an argument.
“So you and Chris,” I said, trying to think it through calmly. At least I knew for certain that Chris wasn’t interested in Kade… But I had to deal with the fact that my little sister had a boyfriend.
“He really is a great guy, Dylan,” she said. “And I really like him a lot. And he likes me.” I let out a breath and nodded.
“Where are they anyway?” I asked, noticing that they weren’t in the living room.
“I imagine Chris is hiding in the kitchen,” Gemma said, leading the way.

She was right, Chris and Kade were in the kitchen, clearing up the plates and cutlery. Chris glanced over at us anxiously and his gaze settled on Gemma and he smiled nervously. “Why didn’t you tell me before?” I asked, looking at Gemma.
“I dunno, I just thought you’d take it badly,” she said with a shrug. “I thought you’d stop me from seeing him.”
“Well, I’m not exactly over the moon about you keeping it from me or the fact that you’ve got a boyfriend already,” I said and quickly held my hand up when she went to interrupt. “But I can see that you care for each other so I’m not going to forbid it or anything. Plus, I'm just so relieved that it means Chris isn’t trying anything with Kade.” Kade rolled his eyes at that and Chris made a face. I grinned at my boyfriend who moved to my side.
“Told you,” he signed and I rolled my eyes right back at him. I wasn’t exactly happy that Kade had kept it a secret from me either, but I could understand why he had. He’d been torn between his best friend and his boyfriend. The week or so when Kade and Gemma hadn’t been talking made a lot more sense.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, hoping Kade could read my lips. Judging by the widening of his eyes, I had to assume he had. “I didn’t mean to be so jealous. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.” Kade smiled softly and pressed a tender kiss to my lips.

When I pulled away from him, I looked over to find Gemma and Chris sharing a kiss. “Oh, great,” I muttered, looking away with a grimace. “Just because I approve doesn’t mean I want to see that.”
“Hey, I have to see you and Kade kissing all the time,” Gemma argued.
“Yeah, well, we’re adorable,” Kade signed and I grinned and Gemma smiled reluctantly.
“We’ll go up to my room, then,” Gemma said and I immediately started shaking my head.
“I don’t think so,” I said. “You’ll stay down here where I can keep an eye on you.”
“Jeez, Dylan, don’t be such a prude,” Gemma said, taking Chris’s hand and leading him back into the living room. “You have Kade in your room all the time.” I wanted to have the final word, but Gemma’s cheeky grin stopped me from overreacting. I shook my head and turned to Kade.
“So your party took a bit of a turn…” he signed and I smiled.
“Still a great night,” I said, wrapping my arms around his waist once again. Kade rested his head on my chest and I closed my eyes as I sighed in content.

A few hours later, Chris headed home. It was about 11 o’clock but Kade didn’t suggest going home and neither did I. I wanted him to stay the night. I loved falling asleep and waking up next to him. At 11.30, everything was washed up and put away in the kitchen, and Kade and I headed up to bed. Gemma had gone upstairs a little while before.

Once Kade and I were alone in my room I sighed. “You okay?” Kade signed, obviously haven’t noticed.
“Yeah,” I smiled as I closed the curtains and turned on the bedside lights so the room was bathed in a gentle glow. “Why didn’t you tell me about Chris and Gemma? It would have ended so many arguments.”
“It wasn’t my secret to tell,” he signed. “After our fight at Halloween I asked her to tell you, though.”
“So it took her a whole month?” I asked and Kade shrugged. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I promise, from now on you have my complete and utter trust. I’m sorry I didn’t have faith in you before.” Kade smiled and shook his head, crossing the room to stand in front of me.
“It’s okay,” he signed. “I kinda like how possessive you are. I like that you…” he paused for a moment, clearly searching for the right word, which he eventually signed with a blush on his cheeks. “…want me so much.”
“More than anything,” I said and Kade blushed. I just smiled and brought him closer to me so I could kiss him.

Our kisses quickly became more heated and I led Kade across the room, never breaking the kiss. We fell onto the bed and Kade squeaked but I quickly lay over him. His hands moved from my shoulders to wrap around my back and he spread his legs to accommodate me. I pulled back and gazed down at him. “So gorgeous,” I whispered and Kade flushed. I returned my lips to his skin, slowly kissing my way down his throat to suck gently at his collar bone. Kade sighed above me and I smiled.

To my surprise, Kade tugged at my shirt and I sat up, straddling his slim hips, and let him unbutton it and slip it off my shoulders. I watched him swallow before licking his lips, his eyes on my chest. I could have sat there revelling in his appreciative gaze for hours, but my need to see him was overpowering. I cautiously slid my hands under his shirt and he lifted himself off the bed slightly so I could bring his shirt over his head. “Gorgeous,” I whispered again but I wasn’t sure if Kade caught it. I kissed my way down his soft body until I reached the waist band of his trousers. I looked up at Kade, to see his reaction. He was gazing down at me, his eyes wide but with no trace of fear. I smiled at him and pressed another kiss to his hips. I carefully unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers and slowly pulled them down his legs, wary that Kade might tell me to stop. But he didn’t. All I heard was his heavy breathing.

I swallowed nervously as I reached for the waist band of his tight boxer briefs. I could see Kade’s erection behind the fabric. Kade’s hand was suddenly around my wrist and I looked up at him again. “Are you okay?” I asked and he took a deep breath.
“Nervous,” he signed and I smiled.
“Me, too,” I said. “I’ve never done anything like this before, either.” Kade looked at me for a moment longer.
“I want this to happen with you,” he signed and my heart flips.
“Let me know if you want me to stop,” I said and Kade nodded. He kept his gaze on me as I pulled his underwear down. I licked my lips and pressed a tender kiss to his erection, making Kade gasp.
“Dylan,” he whispered and I looked up and met his eyes. Slowly, I took him into my mouth and Kade whimpered and his head fell back on his pillow. I didn’t exactly know what I was doing but I don’t think Kade minded or even noticed. Kade’s hands were suddenly in my hair and pulled tight but I knew it wasn’t because he wanted me to stop. Not if his moans were anything to go by. I continued to suck and lick and hold what I couldn’t fit in my mouth without gagging. I was aching in my work trousers and I so badly wanted to do something about it, but my focus was Kade. Always.

“Dylan, I-“ Kade gasps out and I realise that was the first time he’d said more than just my name. I took that as a sign that he was getting close. I hummed and Kade cried out, his body arching off the bed as he came. The taste wasn’t exactly bad but I hurried to swallow it all down. I continued to stroke and suck Kade through his orgasm until his body flopped back on the bed. Eventually, I sat up and wiped my mouth on the back of my hand. Kade gazed at me through heavy lidded eyes. I smiled softly and fell onto the bed beside him. After a minute to recover, Kade turned to me and reached for the fly of my trousers.
“No,” I said, taking his hand in mine. He frowned at me.
“Don’t you need to…” he trailed off with a blush and I pressed a soft kiss to his lips.
“I’m fine,” I said. That was kind of a lie – I was close to exploding, but I didn’t want Kade to reciprocate just because he thought he had to. “Just come cuddle with me,” I said and Kade grinned at me, pressing another kiss to my lips. He kicked his trousers off and pulled his underwear back on. I quickly took my trousers off as well and threw them onto the floor. They’d be creased but I’d just find something else to wear the next morning. I flicked the light off and Kade then curled up next to me and pressed light kisses to my neck before he drifted off to sleep. I pulled the covers up over us and desperately ignored the hardness in my underwear until it faded away and I was able to follow Kade into sleep.