Your Voice
Dylan.
When Gemma told me on Saturday that Kade would be coming over the following day, I couldn’t deny the ripple of anticipation that spread through me. I was excited to see him again, although I knew I shouldn’t be. I’d met him once almost a week ago, what right did I have to be excited to spend time with him? But I was and I couldn’t help it. I wanted to see him, to talk to him, to make sure he was okay. I needed to know that he was okay at school, that he was happy. All week Kade had been at the back of my mind, not my first thought but just always there. I’d been able to get on with work and essays and everything that I needed to do, but in the few quiet moments I had, my thoughts strayed to Kade. I wished I’d had more of a chance to study him so that when I thought of him, I had a clearer picture. And now I had that chance.
On Sunday, Gemma banged on my door at 10.30 on Sunday morning, reminding me that I needed to get up so we could go pick up Kade. I cursed myself for sleeping in, though the opportunity arose so rarely that I couldn’t be too irritated with myself. After quickly throwing on a black t-shirt that was lying over the back of my desk chair and a pair of tracksuit bottoms, not caring that both probably desperately needed to be washed. I’d shower and get dress to impress once I’d picked Kade up. I knew he and Gemma would probably want to hang out just the two of them for a while, which was completely fine with me, so I could work on my appearance a bit more then.
I drove over the Kade’s house, where once again I saw evidence that his parents were around, though clearly neither of them had offered to drop him at our house. Not that I minded going to get him, I didn’t mind at all, but I still think that’s something a parent should do… Kade appeared a minute after we pulled up and he jumped into the backseat of the car. I suddenly wished I’d actually taken more care in my appearance. Kade was dressed in a green t-shirt that hung off his slim shoulders, and tight fitting jeans. I smiled when my eyes landed on him; I’d forgotten just how gorgeous he was. Gemma complimented Kade on his hairstyle, and although I would have chosen to compliment on his whole appearance, I did agree with her. Kade blushed in response and I looked away from him. He was so adorable when he blushed, I just wanted to turn around and take him into my arms. Part of me was worried that either Kade or Gemma would sense the mini-argument I was having with myself, but they seemed to be content to talk while I drove to the pizza place.
Once we got home, I quickly got plates for all of us and offered Kade a drink. As I was turned away, I knew Kade and Gemma were signing, though Gemma was no longer talking as she signed. I was curious but decided not to ask; for all I knew it was something to do with school and nothing to do with me. When I turned around again, Kade was blushing again and looking more anxious than I’d ever seen him. I frowned in concern and glanced at Gemma, who just picked up the plates and carried them into the living room. Kade and I followed behind her and we all started eating, though I did eat the most out of all of us. I had 4 slices, Gemma had 2 and Kade hardly even finished one. No way was I going to let that slide. “You should finish that,” I signed to him as he placed the crust on his plate. Kade looked at me and frowned, his gaze focusing on my lips as I continued. “I mean, you’re skin and bones, dude.” I’d never felt so aware of my lips as Kade stared at them. I wanted to know what he was thinking. I wanted to lick them, to see what he would do, but I forced myself not to. I didn’t need to be encouraging this, whatever this even was.
“Dylan,” Gemma hisses as she slaps me on the arm. “Shut up,” she said, though she didn’t sign it and I shrugged sheepishly before pouting. I was about to defend myself but then I heard a small noise escape Kade and my words died on my tongue. My God, if that wasn’t the cutest sound I’d ever heard… Kade was grinning, a slight giggle escaping his lips, and I vowed that I would hear that sound again. As often as possible.
After lunch, Gemma and Kade went to Gemma’s room to discuss a project that they had for one of their classes together, so I quickly cleared up the plates and glasses and put the pizza box in the recycling before going for a shower. I relaxed under the spray, letting the water wash away my bed-head. I stand under the warm water for a moment and then start washing myself properly. I’m in the shower for double my usual time and I couldn’t work out whether that was because I felt like it or because I wanted to be extra clean for Kade… I chose not to think about it too hard.
I shut off the water eventually and climbed out of the shower, roughly drying myself before wrapping the towel around my hips. I ran my fingers through my hair before shaking my head to dislodge most of the water droplets. After grabbing my t-shirt, sweats and boxers off the bathroom floor, I headed back to my bedroom to get dressed. However, just as I left the bathroom, I walked straight into Kade, who I guessed was heading that way. He squeaked but otherwise made no sound, but his cheeks flooded red. “Sorry!” I signed quickly. Kade shook his head, his eyes moving from my hands to my lips and then to my body. I shifted on my feet, wondering what I should do. While I liked that he was so obviously checking me out, I knew he was only 17… I watched as he visibly swallowed and then raised his eyes back up to meet my gaze. Apparently he didn’t know what to say either. There was an awkward moment when we just looked at each other, but I suddenly became super conscious of the fact that I was extremely close to being naked. “Um, I’m going to go put some clothes on,” I signed and Kade blushed again before stepping aside to let me past. I headed down the hallway and when I got to my doorway, I looked back over my shoulder to see Kade still watching me. He blushed and quickly scampered into the bathroom.
Once he’d vanished, I allowed myself a small smile as I headed into my bedroom and closed the door behind me. Maybe I shouldn’t have liked the fact that Kade had so obviously been admiring my body, but hey, I wasn’t going to ignore it. It was quite an ego boost. I was still smiling as I got dressed in a pair of jeans that hung low on my hips and a dark blue polo shirt with 3 faded yellow stars over the left side of my chest.
I roughly towel dried my hair and finger combed it into my usual style. After checking in the mirror, I went out to the living room, where I found Gemma and Kade watching television. Kade’s cheeks flushed when I appeared though I pretended not to notice. “What you watching?” I asked as I sat in the armchair.
“Friends,” Gemma said. “Kade said he hadn’t really watched it before. So I’m determined to right that wrong.”
“You haven’t watched friends?” I asked in shock, surprised that someone that age has never come across Friends.
“I don’t watch television that often,” he signed as he shrugged. “My parents don’t like having the subtitles on the screen.” I looked over at Gemma, who was frowning slightly, though she stayed quiet.
“Well, you’re always welcome to come and laze in front of the TV over here if you want,” I smiled. “We both got used to having subtitles and the sign language translator on the screen when Gemma needed it. I don’t even notice it anymore.”
“Thanks,” Kade signed and I just nodded before turning back to the television.
The rest of the afternoon, we just hung out in the living room, watching television shows that Gemma was determined to get Kade into. While they watched those shows, I did some reading for university on my lectures for the upcoming week. I noticed Kade signing after I’d been reading for a minute and looked up, “What are you reading?” he asked me and I smiled at the fact that he was asking questions instead of just sitting quietly.
“Strategic Management,” I signed with a grimace, making him smile. “I normally don’t do the reading ahead of time, but figured I could seeing as Gemma is putting a load of rubbish on TV.” I glanced at her and she rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out. Kade just grinned at me.
“Is that for work?” he asked and I shook my head.
“I attend KCL part-time,” I told him and his eye brows rose slightly.
“Wow,” he said and I smiled. “What do you study?”
“Business Management,” I told him and he nodded.
“So you work and go to uni as well?” he asked and I nodded. “How do you find the time?” I paused for a second and shrugged.
“I’m not sure, but I manage,” I said and he nodded, gazing at me with an emotion swimming in his eyes that I couldn’t quite read. He didn’t ask anything else, so I turned my attention back to the text book in my lap.
A little while later, after I’d finished a chapter, I put Game of Thrones on as Gemma had run out of ideas and, though she hated it, Kade seemed to get into it more than the soap-type shows she’d been putting on. I kept glancing at Kade to see how he was reacting to the first episode and to see whether he was actually keeping up. It’s hard enough keeping up when you can hear the dialogue, but he seemed to be following okay. “I kept meaning to read these books,” Kade signed once the episode finished. “But they’re quite long, so I kept putting it off. I’d probably enjoy them, though.”
“You like to read?” I asked him and he blushed once again as he nodded.
“I love to read,” he said simply. “Frankenstein is one of my favourites, I’ve read that loads of times. More than I can count.” I looked at him curiously; there was so much to Kade that I just wanted to ask question after question with the hope that eventually I would come to understand him. And likewise, I wanted him to understand me. The thought was both terrifying and exciting. After all, he wasn’t much more than a kid – could another person understand me that much, especially a boy with his own issues?
On Sunday, Gemma banged on my door at 10.30 on Sunday morning, reminding me that I needed to get up so we could go pick up Kade. I cursed myself for sleeping in, though the opportunity arose so rarely that I couldn’t be too irritated with myself. After quickly throwing on a black t-shirt that was lying over the back of my desk chair and a pair of tracksuit bottoms, not caring that both probably desperately needed to be washed. I’d shower and get dress to impress once I’d picked Kade up. I knew he and Gemma would probably want to hang out just the two of them for a while, which was completely fine with me, so I could work on my appearance a bit more then.
I drove over the Kade’s house, where once again I saw evidence that his parents were around, though clearly neither of them had offered to drop him at our house. Not that I minded going to get him, I didn’t mind at all, but I still think that’s something a parent should do… Kade appeared a minute after we pulled up and he jumped into the backseat of the car. I suddenly wished I’d actually taken more care in my appearance. Kade was dressed in a green t-shirt that hung off his slim shoulders, and tight fitting jeans. I smiled when my eyes landed on him; I’d forgotten just how gorgeous he was. Gemma complimented Kade on his hairstyle, and although I would have chosen to compliment on his whole appearance, I did agree with her. Kade blushed in response and I looked away from him. He was so adorable when he blushed, I just wanted to turn around and take him into my arms. Part of me was worried that either Kade or Gemma would sense the mini-argument I was having with myself, but they seemed to be content to talk while I drove to the pizza place.
Once we got home, I quickly got plates for all of us and offered Kade a drink. As I was turned away, I knew Kade and Gemma were signing, though Gemma was no longer talking as she signed. I was curious but decided not to ask; for all I knew it was something to do with school and nothing to do with me. When I turned around again, Kade was blushing again and looking more anxious than I’d ever seen him. I frowned in concern and glanced at Gemma, who just picked up the plates and carried them into the living room. Kade and I followed behind her and we all started eating, though I did eat the most out of all of us. I had 4 slices, Gemma had 2 and Kade hardly even finished one. No way was I going to let that slide. “You should finish that,” I signed to him as he placed the crust on his plate. Kade looked at me and frowned, his gaze focusing on my lips as I continued. “I mean, you’re skin and bones, dude.” I’d never felt so aware of my lips as Kade stared at them. I wanted to know what he was thinking. I wanted to lick them, to see what he would do, but I forced myself not to. I didn’t need to be encouraging this, whatever this even was.
“Dylan,” Gemma hisses as she slaps me on the arm. “Shut up,” she said, though she didn’t sign it and I shrugged sheepishly before pouting. I was about to defend myself but then I heard a small noise escape Kade and my words died on my tongue. My God, if that wasn’t the cutest sound I’d ever heard… Kade was grinning, a slight giggle escaping his lips, and I vowed that I would hear that sound again. As often as possible.
After lunch, Gemma and Kade went to Gemma’s room to discuss a project that they had for one of their classes together, so I quickly cleared up the plates and glasses and put the pizza box in the recycling before going for a shower. I relaxed under the spray, letting the water wash away my bed-head. I stand under the warm water for a moment and then start washing myself properly. I’m in the shower for double my usual time and I couldn’t work out whether that was because I felt like it or because I wanted to be extra clean for Kade… I chose not to think about it too hard.
I shut off the water eventually and climbed out of the shower, roughly drying myself before wrapping the towel around my hips. I ran my fingers through my hair before shaking my head to dislodge most of the water droplets. After grabbing my t-shirt, sweats and boxers off the bathroom floor, I headed back to my bedroom to get dressed. However, just as I left the bathroom, I walked straight into Kade, who I guessed was heading that way. He squeaked but otherwise made no sound, but his cheeks flooded red. “Sorry!” I signed quickly. Kade shook his head, his eyes moving from my hands to my lips and then to my body. I shifted on my feet, wondering what I should do. While I liked that he was so obviously checking me out, I knew he was only 17… I watched as he visibly swallowed and then raised his eyes back up to meet my gaze. Apparently he didn’t know what to say either. There was an awkward moment when we just looked at each other, but I suddenly became super conscious of the fact that I was extremely close to being naked. “Um, I’m going to go put some clothes on,” I signed and Kade blushed again before stepping aside to let me past. I headed down the hallway and when I got to my doorway, I looked back over my shoulder to see Kade still watching me. He blushed and quickly scampered into the bathroom.
Once he’d vanished, I allowed myself a small smile as I headed into my bedroom and closed the door behind me. Maybe I shouldn’t have liked the fact that Kade had so obviously been admiring my body, but hey, I wasn’t going to ignore it. It was quite an ego boost. I was still smiling as I got dressed in a pair of jeans that hung low on my hips and a dark blue polo shirt with 3 faded yellow stars over the left side of my chest.
I roughly towel dried my hair and finger combed it into my usual style. After checking in the mirror, I went out to the living room, where I found Gemma and Kade watching television. Kade’s cheeks flushed when I appeared though I pretended not to notice. “What you watching?” I asked as I sat in the armchair.
“Friends,” Gemma said. “Kade said he hadn’t really watched it before. So I’m determined to right that wrong.”
“You haven’t watched friends?” I asked in shock, surprised that someone that age has never come across Friends.
“I don’t watch television that often,” he signed as he shrugged. “My parents don’t like having the subtitles on the screen.” I looked over at Gemma, who was frowning slightly, though she stayed quiet.
“Well, you’re always welcome to come and laze in front of the TV over here if you want,” I smiled. “We both got used to having subtitles and the sign language translator on the screen when Gemma needed it. I don’t even notice it anymore.”
“Thanks,” Kade signed and I just nodded before turning back to the television.
The rest of the afternoon, we just hung out in the living room, watching television shows that Gemma was determined to get Kade into. While they watched those shows, I did some reading for university on my lectures for the upcoming week. I noticed Kade signing after I’d been reading for a minute and looked up, “What are you reading?” he asked me and I smiled at the fact that he was asking questions instead of just sitting quietly.
“Strategic Management,” I signed with a grimace, making him smile. “I normally don’t do the reading ahead of time, but figured I could seeing as Gemma is putting a load of rubbish on TV.” I glanced at her and she rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out. Kade just grinned at me.
“Is that for work?” he asked and I shook my head.
“I attend KCL part-time,” I told him and his eye brows rose slightly.
“Wow,” he said and I smiled. “What do you study?”
“Business Management,” I told him and he nodded.
“So you work and go to uni as well?” he asked and I nodded. “How do you find the time?” I paused for a second and shrugged.
“I’m not sure, but I manage,” I said and he nodded, gazing at me with an emotion swimming in his eyes that I couldn’t quite read. He didn’t ask anything else, so I turned my attention back to the text book in my lap.
A little while later, after I’d finished a chapter, I put Game of Thrones on as Gemma had run out of ideas and, though she hated it, Kade seemed to get into it more than the soap-type shows she’d been putting on. I kept glancing at Kade to see how he was reacting to the first episode and to see whether he was actually keeping up. It’s hard enough keeping up when you can hear the dialogue, but he seemed to be following okay. “I kept meaning to read these books,” Kade signed once the episode finished. “But they’re quite long, so I kept putting it off. I’d probably enjoy them, though.”
“You like to read?” I asked him and he blushed once again as he nodded.
“I love to read,” he said simply. “Frankenstein is one of my favourites, I’ve read that loads of times. More than I can count.” I looked at him curiously; there was so much to Kade that I just wanted to ask question after question with the hope that eventually I would come to understand him. And likewise, I wanted him to understand me. The thought was both terrifying and exciting. After all, he wasn’t much more than a kid – could another person understand me that much, especially a boy with his own issues?
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