Somewhere Only We Know

"But I'm not suicidal! I just cut!"
"Honey, the doctors need you to go to counseling. We're all just looking out for your best interest."
Olivia threw the discharge papers at Alexa. She would have thrown something harder if there were anything nearby.
"I hate you!"
"This is typical," the doctor whispered to Jeremy as they stood nearby. "She's going through withdrawal, and after this comes the tough part."
The doctor explained that although Olivia did not appear to be a regular drug user, the overdose she'd suffered recently would have side affects for the next few days. After the initial mood swings, there would be a period of depression, followed by severe stomach illness. After that, she would be more or less back to normal. But the process could take as long as two weeks.
Alexa calmly gathered the papers and handed them to Jeremy silently before she walked out. Jeremy could see her walking into the waiting room, and he knew she was at the end of her rope.
"Olivia, I'm gonna run by your place and pack some of your things for you," he told her.
"What? Why? No! That's my stuff! You can't touch it!"
He walked out without saying another word. He could hear her screams all the way down the hall.
"Lex?" He called to her as he peeked his head in the waiting room.
She broke her trance and stared up at him, motionless. "What?"
He gestured for her to come over and talk to him, but she didn't move. He walked over, silently praying none of the other dozen or so people in the room saw him.
"I'm gonna go get some of her things and take them to my house," he told her. "I'll be back in a couple hours to take her home, so if you could talk to the doctor about her counseling, I'd really appreciate that."
"So it's decided then? With no decision from me? I have no opinion on this?"
"Lex, you said your piece yesterday, but I really think she needs this change. So yeah, she's coming to stay with me."
"Ok, go on. Go be a father finally," she barked at him, everyone in the room now looking.
"We're attracting attention," he whispered. "If you want to talk about this, come outside with me."
"I'm done trying to talk to you, Jeremy!"
She'd said his name, and now people who had been wondering knew. Jeremy Renner was in the room with them.
"Ok, that's it. I'm going." He stood from his kneeling position and headed out the door.
Following him out were two younger men. "Mr. Renner, I'm a big fan!" One of them yelled.
"Um, okay... Thanks, man," he answered briefly, impersonally.
"Sir, could you sign my shirt?" the other asked as he approached. Jeremy certainly had no time for this, but he tried to be nice to fans, and he obliged.
"I really gotta get out of here now, ok? But thanks for saying hi." He told them.
"Oh, but do you mind if I get a quick picture with you, sir?"
"You know, I'm sorry guys, but I really have to go."
"Come on please? Real quick?"
"Guys I'm so sorry," he said as he arrived at his car. "My daughter's really sick, and I've just got to get out of here. So sorry."
He hated to let them down, but he drove away and arrived at Olivia's apartment in far less time than it should have taken. The police investigation was over, so all that was left now was a broken-down door to an apartment that smelled like vomit.
Her TV and stereo equipment had been stolen. No surprise. He traveled to her bedroom and made his way to the closet, pulling down whatever clothes he saw. He had just finished stuffing them into her suitcase when he spotted a small book on the shelf in her closet. Upon further examination, he noticed it was her diary.
He put it back, choosing to let her business be strictly that. He then went over to the dresser and pulled clothes out of drawers. But his eyes kept trailing back to the book. He wanted to know who she was. Who she REALLY was. Was she a closet addict? Did she have even more secrets to hide?
He rushed over and grabbed the book, tucking it into his back pocket. If nothing else, she should have it to write in. But once he'd packed everything, he was too tempted. He cracked open the first page.
She had started the diary about a year before. Most of the stuff she wrote about was just boys and clothes. But then she talked about her mom - the other unanswered question in his life.

"Mom keeps me in all day except when I'm in school. I hate that. What is it that she's so afraid of? That I'll grow up? Well I already am grown up, she just doesn't know it."

He was sad to read that Alexa had ben so strict in raising Olivia, but he understood. He would have been that strict, too, to a point if he had ended up raising her. Sure, they would have gone out more probably, but he would have been careful about her free time. And it's not like Alexa was a crazy woman - she was just protecting her daughter. And he understood that. He respected that.
He flipped back to the end to see if she had written about him, but she hadn't. In fact the last thing she said was that she was going to be finding out who her dad was very, very soon, and she was nervous.

"Whoever he is, I'm gonna shove it in his face how awful these past several years have been. I'm gonna tell him how much I hate him, and I'm gonna show him my cuts and he'll see what he's done. My mom is getting more controlling by the day, and even though I just got my own place, I worry about her, because I know she's at home up late at night, worrying about me."

He stopped to wipe away a tear, then continued.

"I'd really like to hear his excuse, if he has one. And I wanna know why he left mom. She's in love with him. She doesn't even know it, but she is. She talks about him constantly. And even if the guy she's been crying over after 13 years isn't my real dad, then whoever he is, he at least owes her an explanation."

She didn't even want answers for herself as much as she wanted closure for her mom.
He couldn't read further. He realized that this whole time, he'd been focused on reconnecting with his daughter, and he hadn't taken time to focus on the fact that he had another woman to reconnect with. A woman who had loved him. And maybe she still did. It had occurred to him that he had hurt her, but the fact that Olivia had put this into words, had talked about how hurt her mother was, was striking Jeremy in the moment in a way it hadn't before.
He threw the diary in the suitcase and left, rushing back to the hospital with an additional mission in mind.
As he walked in through the automatic doors, he felt like someone was following him, but he didn't take the time to check. A strange noise followed him, and to be honest, it scared him. By the time he reached the elevator, he rushed inside it and pressed the button. As he turned, he saw one of the teenagers from earlier in the day, cell phone in hand. He'd obviously been taking pictures. Shit. That was absolutely the last thing he needed right now.
Olivia had just finished getting dressed when he got to her room. Alexa, standing in the corner with her arms folded, shot a glance of desperation at Jeremy as he entered the room.
"We all set?" He asked.
"I don't know about we," Alexa said, "But I am."
"Hey can I talk to you really quickly for a second before we go?"
Olivia was putting her shoes on. "We'll meet you out here when you're ready, Olivia," Alexa told her as they headed into the hall.
As he got her by herself, he searched for the right words.
"Come on, Jeremy, what is it?" She asked, frustrated.
"I just, I wanted to say..."
She glared at him, seeing something in him that was unusually familiar.
"I just wanted to say I'm sorry."
She wasn't quite sure why he mentioned this now. "I know, you said this all the other day..."
"No, I mean, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry about everything. I never wanted to put you through all this."
"Well, thanks for the apology, but this is really on Olivia. I mean she knows better, but we're gonna get her help. And actually I should be thanking you for getting here for her the other night."
"I'm not just sorry for this," he told her. "I'm sorry for everything."
"What do you mean by everything?"
"Everything," he said. "And I know I've said sorry before, but I mean it now like I never meant it."
"Where's all this coming from?" She asked skeptically.
"I just... I realized I've been a dick. I mean, who walks out on a family? Who does that? And I never even tried to come back. And I'm sorry"
As Olivia headed towards them, Alexa shook her head at Jeremy. "We can't talk about this now."
"I know," he mumbled. "But I want to talk about it."

When they reached the main level, Jeremy held them back, looking around to see if the amateur photographer was anywhere around. Once the coast seemed clear, he led his girls to the car, and they continued on their way.
"I sure don't miss that," Alexa said.
"Miss what?"
"The whole watching your back, looking for them before they find you. Avoiding cameras like the plague."
"I haven't had to do it much, although they did give us a little grief at first, eh, Liv?" He looked in the mirror back at Olivia. "Liv?"
Alexa looked in back. "She's sleeping," she smiled. "She barely slept that whole time in the hospital, but two minutes in the car, and she's out."
Jeremy smiled back. "I love her, you know?"
"Well, she's a toughie, but she's easy to love."
"Sounds like someone I know," he told her.