Diary of a Hairy Beast

Wow, I found this pretty empty journal the other day. I promised myself when I was 10 that I was going to write in it every single day. That didn’t work out very well. 5 years on, I probably got so depressed about my life that I didn’t want to remember it.

I decided to write in this because I’ve been pretty down lately. Dad just came back from prison and life has been hell. He blamed being caught on Mum, saying she set him up, that she disagreed with the drug dealing and wanted to ‘ruin him’. Which I wouldn’t put past her. When he started drug dealing he was hardly ever home, so she was having different guys home every night.

When Dad went to prison, she had a new boyfriend called Trent, he was always drunk and whenever he was at home Mum never even spoke to me. I couldn’t even sleep when he came over because of all the noise they would make. I hope you get what I’m trying to say, because I’m not going into any details. This lasted for two years. And when Dad came home it was like nothing had ever happened and she became his faithful wife again.

I wish I could say school is better. The torment continues. Most of the school has my phone number, no matter how many times I change it. I receive vicious texts and voicemails daily, death threats, that kind of stuff. There’s a whole Facebook page about me, an abusive one, but I can ignore it. Every time I come home with a bruise on my head, I’m punished because Dad believes its all my fault, “I’m too weak” apparently.

Today was horrific. Yvonne asked me out and I couldn’t believe it. She’s so hot and one of the most popular girls. This is how it went:

I sat alone in the café for a few minutes, I had arrived early so as make a good impression. I bought flowers and chocolates and I wore my new clothes. I thought it was going to be perfect. I could see her as she turned the corner of the street and made her way to the café. My heart skipped a beat and I realised how lucky I was, I’d had a crush on her for ages.

“Hi,” I stuttered as she made her way to the table.
“Yeah, hi,” she replied quickly and sat down.
“ I bought you these,” I said, brandishing the flowers and chocolates.
“ I’ve got hay fever and I’m on a diet,” she said coldly. “People like me don’t eat chocolate.”
“Sorry,” I said hastily, putting the gifts away.

Then there was silence. No one spoke for a whole minute; she didn’t even look at me.
“Would you like anything to drink?” I asked.
“A light caramel Frappuccino,” she replied curtly.

I stood up and made my over to the till, this wasn’t going very well. I could see her chestnut brown hair waving in the slight breeze and her emerald eyes sparkled in the afternoon sun. She was perfect.

I returned with the coffees and sat down. She went to grab her drink when her bag fell on the floor, the contents spilling.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get it,” I assured her, bending down and scooping all the contents back to where they belonged. And I caught sight of a leaflet. “Game of Thrones?” I asked, slightly puzzled.
“It’s nothing,” she replied hastily, snatching the leaflet from my hands.
“I like it too,” I said, trying not to make her feel uncomfortable.

And her face lit up.
“Are you serious?” she asked excitedly.
“I watch it religiously,” I confessed sheepishly.
“So do I!” she cried eagerly.
And for the next hour we talked about Game of Thrones and then we moved onto other topics and I was surprised that we had so much in common. We both loved History, photography and we were both aiming to take psychology in sixth form. We were laughing away and in that moment everything was perfect.

And then that moment ended.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Bobby Fenton and his gang coming round the corner, towards the café. I went to the same secondary school as him, hence the bullying. He pushed the door of the café open and made his way towards our table.

“How’s everything going Yvonne?” he asked.
“Bobby, just go, please,” she pleaded.
“Why? I am intruding?” He asked sarcastically.
“Just leave.” I demanded.
“Shut up Beast.” He shouted viciously and his gang erupted into fits of laughter.
“I’m pulling out.” Yvonne said hurriedly.
“You can’t pull out of a dare sweetie,” He cooed patronisingly.
“What dare?” I asked, confused.
“You honestly thought Yvonne would ask you out?” He asked, stunned. And he burst into uncontrollable laughter. “It was her initiation, she pulled off this stunt and she get’s to hang with us. No girl would want to date a pathetic Beast like you. Come on Yvonne, we’re going.”

And he dragged her by the arm, out of the café. I sat there in silence for a few minutes. I walked out of the café in a daze and I made my way to the park. I sat on the corner of a bench, alone. The sun was starting to go down, the sky was streaked with shades of red and orange. I was about to leave, when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“You look down,” the man said in a rough, gruff voice. I shrugged him away and moved off.
“I’ve got some stuff here at a great price to help heal your heartbreak,” he said as he followed me.
“How do you know that?” I asked, confused as to how he knew this.
“I do now!” he chortled. “I saw the flowers and the chocolates, assumed they were meant for someone special.”

He stared at me with deranged eyes. He was a large man, but he wasn't sober. His clothes were dirty and torn and his whole demeanour was menacing. But I was too upset to be intimidated.

He was beginning to creep me out. I hurried on, but he rushed in front of me.
“Look, I can set you up real good,” he took one look at my face and his turned ashen white. “You look, like…”
“Tony Hall,” I said, disgusted. My Dad. All the scum knew my Dad. Feared my Dad.
“You know him?” The man asked, shaking slightly.
“How do you know him?” I asked, trying to play him at his own game.
“I owe him some money, that’s all,” he said quickly. He was definitely on drugs, he wouldn’t have told me this if he wasn’t.
“Why don’t you give me a few grams for free and I’ll forget I ever saw you.” I replied casually, I was beginning to scare him. He wasn’t in a stable state and I could easily manipulate him.
“For free!” He laughed. “You’re joking!”
“I’ll just call Tony then,” I reached into my pocket and his amused face turned to one of terror. It was amazing how easily I was able to trick him. He pulled out a few small plastic bags, shoved them onto my hands and went to run off.
“I'll have a few of those too,” I added, pointing to the plastic carrier bag in his hand. I could faintly see the beer. He dropped the carrier bag to the floor and ran off.

So I sat there, drinking and smoking my worries away.