I'll Make You Feel Beautiful Once Again

“Now, to start of, let’s go around the table. Say your name, grade, age, likes or dislikes, I don’t really giva care. Just say sumn,” Mr.Williams told us after our parents left. “Let’s start with you.”

He pointed his wrinkled finger towards a tall, lanky, pale kid with jet black hair and piercing ice-blue eyes. He wore thick eyeliner and a smoky eye around his eyelashes, and fuck he was pretty. “Uhm, I’m Andy...” he mumbled, nibbling on his lip ring and staring off into space as we all looked at him in silence. “And I have this theory...”

“What’s your theory, Andy?” Mr.Williams asked him, the same scowl written on his face as Andy’s head snapped up to meet him.

“I call it the Insect Theory,” he said, his deep voice rumbling in his throat.

“Okay, tell us about your Insect Theory,” Mr.Williams urged him on, a small smile playing at his lips. I would’ve never guessed this geezer smiled...

“Well, it all started when an interesting thing happened to me the other day... I saw a kid light a bug on fire.” Andy stared at all of us, a look of complete seriousness on his face. “And when this happened, the bug, like, made a noise. It, like... screamed and that really... it didn’t register to me that there were other beings in the world who have feelings other than myself. What I assume it that when I walk around each day that just everything is just like... an insect.” We all looked at him with knitted eyebrows and blank stares. I even crinkled my nose a little. What the hell was this kid talking about? “And I think that’s what you should apply to yourself... Everyday when you go somewhere, look, you know, that person’s an insect. Your mail carrier, he works hard, insect. I mean, you may think that they’re real people but inside it’s just goo... and wings. And not even the good kind of wings, like TV show wings, like... fluttery wings.” Andy finished explaining his theory to us, nodding his head and looking at each and every one of us.

“Uhm... okay, thanks Andy,” Mr.Williams laughed. “You,” he pointed to the kid next to Andy. “Go.”

He cleared his throat, and ran his fingers through his longish, wispy hair. “I’m Austin?” He told us as if he was unsure if that was his name or not. He had chicken legs and a broad chest, and wore a ring on his nose. Tattoos basically covered his whole frame and I holy shit, how old is this guy? Thirty? “Uh,” he laughed nervously, his voice raspy and deep. “I guess that’s it.” Mr.Williams nodded at him, then pointed to me.

I gulped and pulled at my long sleeves for dear life. I grabbed the cuffs with my fingers and pulled them over my wrists over and over again. Everyone’s eyes were on me, and damn, they were stealing my air. I couldn’t breath, and my lungs were being pushed down and suffocated by their stares. “Uhm,” I started, making sure I breathed through my nose. “I’m Victor... but you can, uh, call me Vic,” I told them quietly, hoping they couldn’t hear the panic in my voice.

“Just breathe, man,” Mike whispered next to me, his hand resting on my knee from under the table. “And I’m Mike, or whatever,” he continued, not even waiting from Mr.Williams to ask him.

“I’m Jenna,” the girl next to Mike smiled. Her blonde hair was braided into two tails, one on each side of her head, and she also wore a nose ring. Her accent was thick and slightly heavy, and her teeth were big as she smiled at us warmly.

“Okay, is Andy the only one who is actually gunna say sumn?” Mr.Williams asked us, raising his eyebrows and waving his clipboard at us. We all shrugged at his question and continued to look at one another with judging eyes. As soon as Mike had started talking and everyone’s attention shifted to him, the heavy weights on my chest seemed to lift, and I guess I felt a little bit better. I guess.

“Maybe everyone was so turned on by my Insect Theory... that they don’t know what to say,” Andy suggested, staring at Mr.Williams with that same serious look he wore earlier. Was this kid alright?

“I highly doubt that... you, go,” the old man laughed, pointing to the only other girl in the room besides Jenna.

“I’m Hayley,” she started, fiddling with her shoulder-length red hair and nibbling on her bottom lip. She wore combat boots, and her feet were propped up on the chair with her arms wrapped around her knees. “Yeah... that’s all I have to say,” she said before returning her gaze to the floor. I sighed heavily, shifted in my seat and wishing I wasn’t here. Why did my parents have to sign me up for this shit class? I felt intimidated by Mr.Williams and everyone else in the room. I didn’t want to be here at the moment, and I sure as hell didn’t want to come here everyday, let alone the weekends as well. This was stupid. Pointless. Irrelevant. Sure, I may be mental, or even crazy, but I don’t need this old guy telling me that. I could’ve figured that out myself.

Lost in my own thoughts, I didn’t even hear Mr.Williams ask the next person to go. But that’s wasn’t until I lifted my head and my eyes met with a pair of stormy ocean eyes. He opened his mouth, staring at me while his girlish voice filled the room. “I’m Kellin,” he told me, well um, everyone else too. My eyes travelled down his body, taking in his folded hands which sat on the table, and his skinny arms and thin legs. He was so, so thin. So thin that I could see the bones in his fingers and his knees jutted out in his pants. The kid couldn’t even be above 100 pounds. He had pale skin and pink lips, and raven hair that was short which spiked up with a flair of blue on one side.

God, he was pretty. But he also looked so innocent, as if he had never snuck out of the house before or he hasn’t had an orgasm yet. Blushing at the thought, I averted my eyes to the floor, confused as to why this kid was affecting me this way. It felt weird to have a dude be the one on my mind. I mean, I know that I like girls. I had my first real girlfriend during freshman year, but really she was only a pair of tits to me. I never thought about guys before as I do girls. But now Kellin is here, sitting somewhat across from me and staring at me with those stormy eyes.

Shaking my head and trying to get the thought out of my head, I focused on the next guy. His skin was slightly pink and he had long, messy red hair that fell past his shoulders. I watched him scoot his chair back, place his foot on the seat and lift his weight up. He towered above us, standing on top of the chair like a stage. “I’m Jesse,” he said, his teeth jutting out almost as he spoke. He stared at each one of us, making sure our eyes were on him.

“Jesse, sit yo’ ass down,” Mr.Williams scolded him. Jesse shot the old man a glare before blowing rather loudly and slipping down into his chair. “You,” he pointed to the next. “Say sumn so we can get this over with.”

“I’m Jaime,” he smiled and his dimples popped. He tapped his fingers on the table repeatedly and I could tell he was bouncing his leg up and down from the way his upper-body shook. He had black hair, which was spiked up to create a windblown look. His hair was accented with a patch of red on one side, and I swear, he looked like a colorful skunk. “Uhmmm,” he began with a giggle. “Today, mymommademepancakes... since it’s the first day of school and all. Butshegotmadatme... she got mad at me because I literally drownedallofthepancakesinsyrup.” Jaime was talking so fast, damn, I couldn’t tell which were words and what not. “But I told her it was fine... becauseIatethemallanyway.”

“Jaime, you’re gunna hafta learn to talk slower ‘cause I didn’t understand a damn thing you said,” Mr.Williams told him. A couple of us snickered at his snide comment, and I was surprised to feel my own smirk pull at my lips. “Now, last one, go kid,” he said, pointing his finger at the kid who was sitting at the end of the table across from Jenna.

His sad, brown eyes never left the table and his chubby cheeks had a frown in between them. He had short uneven hair that fell across one side of his face and on the other side curled into tiny waves at the nape of his neck. His cheek was pierced and he had 1-inch gauges in his ears. The bags under his eyes were very noticeable, and it looked as if he hasn’t slept in days. “I’m Tony,” he whispered, barely loud enough for us to hear. Hell, he just looked so sad, and well, broken.

“Okay, now that we all know each other, let’s figure out what’s wrong with you guys.” All of our heads snapped up to meet his permanent frown. What was he talking about? I don’t want these other kids to know that I’m fucked up. At all. “It’s just a simple exercise, you’ll write down why you think you’re parents put you in this class... Basically, y’all are gunna write down what’s fucked up ‘bout you, understand? Then you’ll give the papers to me, and I’ll read them out loud.” Mr.Williams stared at all of us with a death glare, daring us to object. “There are no secrets in this class... but nothing leaves this class. If I find out you’re telling other people what’s fucked up with you kids, I’ll give you a F on e’ry single assignment... so you have no choice butta take this class again next year, you hear?”

We all nodded slowly. I didn’t nod though, because shit, I wasn’t ready for this. I didn’t want to be judged or thought of differently by these people.

I fiddled with the rubber band on my wrist, pulling it up and watching it smack back down. The pain wasn’t nearly enough, but it would have to do now. I looked at the red welts rising on my tanned skin, the overwhelming feeling of being suffocated disappearing.

I am definitely not ready for this...