I'll Make You Feel Beautiful Once Again

The moment I stepped out into the morning air that Friday, I immediately squealed, causing Mike to shoot me a look of annoyance, but then a small smile began to pull at his lips from my outburst. It seemed as if winter all of a sudden creeped up on us and crash landed in the middle of the night. The grass in our front yard was frozen, and it crunched under our shoes as we scrambled down the yard, heading to school. As we exhaled, our breath came out as white clouds, snaking into the air above our heads. I pulled the jacket tightly around me, shivering uncontrollably. “Christ, is it freezing out here,” I mumbled to Mike, who only hummed in agreement. As we walked down our road in silence, I looked up at the sky, which was a pale blue, and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. Birds were chirping energetically, and the soft, yellow sun sent rays of brushstrokes against the blue. Overall, it was a beautiful day.

“Hey, Mike?” I suddenly whispered out to my brother, who turned to look at me with a soft expression and raised eyebrows. “Do you think Connections is helping us get any better?”

“No way in hell,” he immediately scoffed. “I know I haven’t changed, ‘cause it would be obvious if I did, but I know that you have.”

“Me? But I barely even pay attention during that shitty class,” I laughed, kicking a rock along the way with the tip of my shoe.

“It’s not the class, you idiot,” Mike laughed, shoving me playfully. “It’s your boyfriend.”

“You mean Kellin?”

“No, I mean Oli. Of course I mean Kellin, who else?”

I walked beside him in silence, letting his observation sink in. Could Kellin really be helping me get better? I guess it made a little bit of sense, taking the fact that whenever I saw him, it’s like I couldn’t stop smiling. I would grin and grin and grin; so much that it hurt. Kellin just had that effect on me and I thanked my lucky stars every single day that I happened to be the one who received his paper that one day, or the day where we were assigned as roommates.

It was the little things that counted. How he would find a way to tickle me, or touch me whenever we were close. That simple gesture meant everything to me, and it meant that he knew I actually existed. Or in the middle of the night, he would climb through my window and ask the same question: “Feeling sad, Vic?” That one sentence sent my heart racing, even though I’ve heard it a million times. I was an actual person to him, with a beating heart and rushing blood, with bones and organs. An actual person who makes mistakes, who falls out of bed sometimes, who stubs their toe occasionally. An actual person who needed his other half in order to function correctly. Kellin was my other half, and I hoped to the God that I was Kellin’s as well.

“He’s like your therapist… with benefits,” Mike said, snapping me from my thoughts. “He gives you advice on life, then you guys bang.”

“Ewww,” I spat, wrinkling my nose and slapping him on the arm. Mike shrieked, and clutched his shoulder as if I dislocated it. “That’s disgusting.”

“You’re just sayin’ that because you know it’s true,” he choked, laughing rather loudly.

“No it’s not, that’s not how it goes,” I grumbled, crossing my arms childishly as we approached the hellhole we call school.”You’re not supposed to bang… you’re supposed to make love.”

“Make love? Dude… you’re whipped,” Mike said, walking up the stone steps two at a time.

“I am not!” I protested, following close behind him.

“Don’t deny it when you know it’s true!”

“You’re an asshole, Michael.”

Mike smirked at me, parting ways as he sauntered down the hallway, either to terrorize a innocent girl with his “charms”, or go to his locker. Walking down the hallway, I tried to stay out of the way of the pushing, roaring crowd. After making it to my locker, I twisted in the combination, opening the door with a creak. I pouted into my locker, wishing that I didn’t have to be cooped up in this building when it was such a beautiful day outside.

“With that face, you’ll get worry lines by the time you’re twenty,” Kellin suddenly said, appearing beside me with a smug grin. His raven hair looked windblown, and the blue flair was showing his roots already. His blue eyes were dreamy as he stared at me, as if he couldn’t believe I was actually infront of him. His cheeks were slightly red from the cold weather, and he was wearing a huge jacket that he seemed to get lost in. The jacket fell close to mid-thigh on him, and his tight, distressed jeans which showed off his skinny legs gave him the look of sweet perfection.

“Kellin, hey!” I whispered, my frown immediately replaced with a smile. My cheeks flushed a soft red as I buried my head into his chest, and I wrapped my arms around his small waist. His cold fingers snuck up my shirt, brushing patterns against my spine.

“Hi sweetheart,” he mumbled into my hair, and I was thankful for the now deserted hallway as I lifted my head and pressed my lips to his. His fingers tangled into my hair, pulling me closer and he kissed back with a new, fiery attitude that he only used occasionally. Kellin pressed me up against the lockers, and the pressure sent a sudden wave of nervousness and pleasure through me. Breaking the kiss slightly, Kellin captured my bottom lip with his teeth, pulling harshly, which caused my hands to fly down to his waist, where I yanked him closer by the hips. He chuckled darkly before deepening the kiss, and his tongue was warm and wet on mine. He was so perfect against me, and I almost couldn’t handle it as my knees buckled weakly. “Gotta stay on your feet, Vic,” he mumbled on my lips before pecking me again quickly.

“Well, you’re not making that v-very easy,” I choked, trying to steady my breathing as Kellin fixed my shirt. He giggled softly, his laughter like bells. Gently lacing his long fingers with mine, he pulled me down the hallways, leading the way to the first floor. We walked in silence, just enjoying each other’s company. It wasn’t until we approached the Core Connections door that our silence was interrupted. Everyone was laughing and talking loudly outside of the door, some of them sitting on the ground, or propped up against the wall. Jaime was bouncing lightly on his feet, chattering carelessly next to Tony and using his hands a lot to get his point across. Haley and Jenna were giggling, sitting cross-legged on the floor while talking about something that made them go into fits of laughter.

“What’s goin’ on?” I asked Mike, removing my hand from Kellin’s so we wouldn’t get bombarded with questions.

“I dunno,” he said, sending me a quick wink. “The door’s locked.” Bumping into my brother playfully, I grabbed Kellin’s wrists and led him away from the small crowd of our peers. Leaning against the lockers, I slid down to the floor, taking him with me. I pressed my thigh against his, and we snaked our arms behind our backs so we could hold hands secretly. Kellin’s thumbs brushed my knuckles, and he smiled at me weakly, obviously knowing what was going to come out of my mouth.

“What did you have for breakfast?” I asked him quietly. His smile dipped down into a frown slowly, and he looked down at his shoes. I knew he hated talking about his problem, but I felt obliged to, since he helped me so much with mine. “Kellin?”

“I had a bowl of cereal,” he frowned.

“How big was the bowl? Like a big bowl? Medium or small?”

“It was a small bowl.”

I sighed and squeezed his hand, trying to silently tell him that I wasn’t mad at him, I was just trying to see if he was doing any better. “Kels, did you keep it down?” Kellin nodded, still avoiding eye contact with me. “That’s good, baby,” I smiled softly, leaning in close enough to feel his hot breath on my cheeks. I blushed as our eyes locked, and I couldn’t help the grin that pulled at my lips. “I would kiss you for a reward right now if I could.”

Kellin chuckled weakly at my confidence, giving my hand one last squeeze before turning to stare off into space. Only minutes passed before the glass door with the shitty calligraphy opened slowly, and we all turned towards whoever was standing in the opening. As our chattering died down, I laid my eyes on one of Mr.Williams' assistants, a chubby woman with choppy hair. “Hi guys,” she smiled at us warmly.

“What’s goin’ on?” Jaime piped in, starting a small roar to rumble from us all asking the same question at once.

“Mr.Williams couldn’t make it to work this morning, so he instructed me to let you guys in the room now, but we won’t have therapy. However, you guys can use this time as a study if you’d like, or you talk quietly amongst yourselves.” She smiled, her white teeth almost blinding.

“Five bucks he’s on his deathbed,” Kellin mumbled into my ear as we watched the others file into the classroom.

“That’s such a horrible thing to say!”

“But we all know he’s on the verge of death, Vic. C’mon, look at him! I heard a rumor that he doesn’t have real lungs. They’re just iron and what not.”

Shrugging, I stood up from the ground, stretching and yawning. Kellin poked my side, causing me to squeal and jump in surprise. “Kelliiin,” I pouted, watching him giggle at me. “You’re mean so to me.”

“Oh, you know I’m just messin’ with you,” he cooed, pulling me close to his chest once everyone was inside.

“Ugghh, I’m not buyin’ it,” I laughed, burying my head into the crook of his neck.

“Hey, wanna go somewhere else and do something?” Kellin suggested, his hands crawling underneath my backpack to reach my back.

“Sure, like what?” I whispered, blushing when his blue eyes looked at me, and he bit down on his lower lip.

“I dunno… like, kiss?” He giggled, his thumb grazing my hipbone.

“Well, since you asked so politely…”