This Is for Keeps

Brian let a growl leave his human lips as he paced his bedroom—he could just feel the wolf in him begging to take charge, to handle this whole situation with the flick of his claws, but he knew that it was the worst thing to do. It would only cause the woman he loved more misery and he didn’t want that for the caramel colored, hazel eyed woman he has found himself falling for the past two years.

With the memory of her hands on his stomach, he fell down onto his bed so that he could grasp onto himself, to keep his body in shape of a human being. It wasn’t even the pain that kept him from wanting to shift these days—after years of dealing with it, he has learned how to block that out. It was more about that pretty face that he felt himself dreaming of constantly these nights when he was sleeping. He wanted to be normal—something he once used to be, before his pack master changed him into this…this…monster.

He groaned as the monster fought to take over him, but he wouldn’t allow himself to be lost for the next day. He didn’t feel as powerful as it once made him feel, and the thought of ripping out that kid’s throat caused the wolf to wake up. But Bay…sweet, sweet Bay was already in tears in her bedroom over this kid already.

The memory of her falling to her knees as Lucas left hit him hard—he could nearly feel the pain beginning to take over him, and maybe it was. All he knew in that moment was how angry he was at Lucas for breaking her apart like she meant nothing to him.

Stop it! He roared inside his head as he felt the wolf beginning to take shape. He could feel the vibrations beginning in his bones, so he bit his cheek to try and tame it. Lately he has found out ways to keep the wolf at bay, but it has been getting harder and harder—to the point where he cheeks has begun to bleed.

And he knew that just a little pressure wouldn’t help this time—he needed release. He needed a way to control everything inside of him, just for a little time. So he began to picture what she would look like lying here in his bed, with her brown hair falling in its typical waves over a bare chest. Slowly he could feel the wolf easing down—he didn’t think that it would work. Actually, he thought it would just make it worse, but apparently not.

He could feel his jeans beginning to tighten, but he was still there. So he pictured his hands running along her lightly tanned skinned, imagined how soft it would feel. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend he was actually doing it. With the smell of lemon and jasmines swarming his mind, he freed himself from his jeans and started to stroke himself.