Painting Virgin Skin

When I get to the city Carol and I do some window shopping while waiting for Dixie to show up. I got dragged into clothes stores and watched Carol trying on a bunch of outfits we both knew she wouldn't buy. When she was on the seventh outfit, she started to talk to me about Dixie.

"What are you going to do now that you know that Dixie is in love with you?" She cocks her head to the side, raised her eyebrows.

I shake my head, "I don't know. I mean, I like her but work and our friendship. I just don't know, I am not supposed to be getting distracted."

"That doesn't change the fact that she has confessed her love." She bats her eyes and laughed.

"Shut up!" I throw a shirt from the pile she had at my side.

She laughs and checks the time, "Shouldn't she be here by now?"

I looked at my cell, "yeah, I will call her."

Then we ended up splitting up searching for her. I was so worried, I thought she got lost or kidnapped. I called her way to many times to be normal, with no answer. No reply to any of my texts. When I found her I didn't know if I should yell at her or hug her. I settled for neither, I just told her that I called and was looking for her. Of course I couldn't let what she said go now that Carol decided to bring it up.

I couldn’t help but tease Dixie for her confession. It’s just seems so natural for me to do since I didn’t want to take the whole thing too seriously. I mean if I didn’t tease her, I would have to start thinking about what to do with the information that she told me. I know that I can't just ignore it, then I would be hurting her, but if I acknowledge it then I have to do something about it. I can't do anything about it not even if I really want to. I have to stay focused. I can’t set her up to be hurt because I am currently married to my work. My life is my career right now. I won't let anything distract me from that, not even Dixie. Especially not when most new businesses fail within the first five years of starting. I have only been in at this for a year and a half. I really don't want to risk failing because I got caught up with Dixie in some whirlwind romance that may not last. I mean with my track record and the distant, what is the chances of it lasting?

While I was teasing her, she gave me a few scowls before she lightened up about it. Soon she was teasing me back, saying that I must like her too if I am using first grade tactics to fend her off. I wanted to tell her that’s its true; I do like her, a lot. Instead I brushed her off with the roll of my eyes and add an immature comment about girls being yucky. We spent the whole dinner trying to acknowledge that we like each other but making it seem like it not that serious. Carol chimed in and was a reminder that this is NOT a date. I was so grateful for Carol's presence.

At the theater, I sat in the middle of the girls, wondering if I should have instead traded with Carol for the edge seat. While we were seeing the show Dixie sat close, her hand brushing mines one too many times for me to ignore. At first I stayed strong and pretended that it was nothing. Eventually, I gave up, grabbing her hand in mine during the last act of the show. I laced our fingers together and tried to justify my actions in my head, but truth was I just really wanted to do this for so long. I wanted to feel her skin under mine, to know the warmth of her fingertips. To become familiar with the soft feel of her dainty hands. The same hands I have watched wave pom poms in the air for years now. This was the girl I never expected to like, who I was sure was never going to like me. I try not focus on our hands; I can't let this mean anything more than it already does. I just grabbed her hand that's all, nothing more. We can moved past that.

I was about to pull my hand away, when Dixie gave my hand a squeeze. So I looked at her and she gave me a big smile, her eyes were filled with a simple joy. I couldn’t undo this; I couldn’t take away this action or it's consequences away. Who really knows what will happen after this? Will we start dating? Will it be causal? Or is she is going to be on my girlfriend? Will we act like this never happened after she leaves New York? What about Painting Skins? What about my dreams and having my priorities straight, keeping myself on track? I bit the inside of my cheek while staring at Dixie’s profile. Her hair pulled tight behind her face giving me the perfect view. I had a strong sudden urge to touch her face, to cup it and hold it close to my lips. I leaned over to whisper something into her ear but instead I brushed my lips across her cheek. I could see her start to blush already, even before I pulled away a bit. She gave me a shocked look, just staring into my eyes, looking for answers.

“What is happening here?” Dixie asked me almost breathlessly.

“I think I am letting you know that I like you like you like me.” I said while tracing her jaw line with my free hand.

“Are you?” She leans her face closer to mine.

“I am,” then I kiss her to confirm the fact.

I put my hand on the back of her neck bringing her closer to me. I can have her and make my career dreams a reality. I can do both, right?