Painting Virgin Skin

I woke up the next day with my head spinning; I can't believe what Dixie said to me two days ago. She didn't even bother showing up at the parlor yesterday. I didn't hear a word from her all day. Was she embarrassed by her slip up? I wonder if she will even bother to be at the theater today to see Wicked with me and Carol. I mean she is the one who picked the play in the first place. Maybe not, maybe it will be too awkward for her to show up. I mean she said that she is in love with me. At least that is what I think she said, maybe I was hearing things. It could be a product of wishful thinking or Carol’s insistent that Dixie has feelings for me. That's all, it could be just that simple. Dixie have feeling for me? A tattooed up bad boy with a bad attitude and rebellious tendencies? Nah, she doesn’t have feelings so me, I must have heard wrong. She is way too goody goody to even go through a 'bad boy' phase. I laugh a little to myself.

I take a deep breath and wonder if I should call her today to see if she will show up. I bite my lip hard, when the scent fills my nose. I am trying to figure out how her scent got all over my room. I mean I didn't even invite her up her. Maybe while she was looking for the bathroom she stumbled in here? But that was two days ago, why would her scent still be lingering. It was the scent of her lavender shampoo and peach lip balm that seemed to be stuck on the air that I am breathing. I take another deep breath, she does smell very good. I like that quality in a girl.

Do I want Dixie to be in love with me? Wouldn’t that just make everything more complicated than it is now? Would that make pursuing my career above a relationship even harder? I sigh and flip over, pressing my face into my pillow. This exactly what I didn’t want, Dixie having feelings for me means I can’t really hide my feeling for her. Okay I can but it makes it harder anyway. I try to remember when I first started to like her. When we first met I was dating some cheerleader I met at a tattoo shop. She was my first and really my only serious relationship. What was her name again? Kathy? Yeah Kathy, she had the tattoo of herself drawn as catwoman. I smile; I thought it was the coolest thing at the time. Gee, I was simple to impress when it came to girls. Anyway, she had these killer dimples and cute nose coupled with long chocolate brown hair. It was an added bonus that she was two years old then me. Anyway Kathy had my complete attention at the time so I seriously doubt I had clue Dixie was so cute. Or that Dixie was even alive for that matter. Besides she was thirteen and I was sixteen, that's an even bigger age difference when you are in high school then it seems now. (And trust me its still seems huge.) I was way too into older girls at that time.

Maybe it was when I was nineteen that I first got into Dixie. It could be when Ruby dragged me to Dixie’s first cheerleading competition. I can remember how much I didn’t want to go. After things had went sour with Kathy, I really didn’t like cheerleaders. So that was not the environment I wanted to be in. Of course, Ruby is a hard girl to say no to, especially when she doesn't let you. She told me I had too; it meant the world to her and Dixie. I roll my eyes just remembering her puppy dog face and dramatic speech. That girl should be an actress or the president. She was like, Dixie sixteen and she is qualified for the cash prize now, if I show up and she wins we can all go to the movies after. Ruby sure knows how to convince people.

So I ended up going. That's when I really noticed Dixie, she came out in her tiny red uniform with a huge beautiful grin on her face. That smile made my stomach feel like it was twisting up in knots. That was it that was moment she inched her way into my mind. I, of course, did everything I could to pry her out of there. I really didn’t want to be with anyone that young, especially someone who has nothing in common with me. Plus I had just recently got over Kathy and I wasn't looking to be heartbroken again. If anything, if I was going to go for anyone that much younger than me it would’ve been Ruby. I mean we had almost everything in common anyway. It would have been less of a risk in my mind. What the point of me thinking about things that happened three years ago anyway? Oh man, I can’t believe that for three years I have had a thing for Dixie. That is longer than any of my relationships have ever been. In fact if I would have dated her then we would have probably be over by now. The thought makes me feel an odd mixture of sadness and relief.

I hear my cell ringing so I lift my head to look for it. I see it on my drawing table by the front of my room. I groan to myself as I head over to pick it up.

“Hello,” I grumble into the phone, clearly displeased with whoever it is for making me get up.

“Hey Nick,” Dixie’s gentle southern twang slips from the small speaker into my ear causing me to become uncharacteristically nervous.

“Uhh. . . hey Dixie cup.” I try to think of something cool to say but I shake my head and settle with a, “how are you? I didn’t see you yesterday. Did you do anything cool?”

She laughs so low you would think she was trying to keep the sound a secret.

“Ah No. I didn’t, I just visited some old high schools friends who were on the squad with me. I thought it would be nice to stop by and see them since they have been bugging me to visit them since I had moved to Texas.”

“Oh,” I feel like an idiot for thinking that she was trying to avoid me. “Well that is pretty cool.”

“I guess, it was kind of nice to get all caught up with them.” She clears her throat. “Anyway I called to see what time we are meeting up for the show later.”

I could feel the relief filling the air of my room, so she is still coming.

“Seven works, if you want us all to grab a bite to eat first that is.”

“Sure I will see you then.”

I listen to the silence that told me she hung up. For some reason it made me miss dial tones, they made things seem less final. I text Carol reminding her about tonight and throw myself back in bed. I could head over to work for a while but I rather to call in to check up on the boys. I feel better since Carol is working today, she is practically my partner. I pull the sheets over my head so I can catch some more Zs before the show tonight.