사계절

Everyone needed that goofy best friend. The one that could make you laugh at anything until your sides hurt and tears streamed down your face. The one that went on adventures and drug you around until you either found the end target or got in trouble.

Eli was that crazy, ecstatic best friend to Jin Yoon. They met the summer Jin Yoon went to California, the little Korean completely lost in a world of English. Only the haphazard, literal bumping into saved her from blind panic. Eli was broad and tall with a long nose that reminded her of a bird—the creature that Eli was too fond of doing imitations of. His hair was dyed blonde since she had known him. The rebellious glint in his smile matched that of the one piercing his eyebrow.

He showed her what was to be seen. Palm trees and beach-side carnivals, sand between their toes and late-night dips where the moon was their only witness. Jin Yoon was conservative and timid. Eli? He was bold, living hard and as fast as he could. He brought her out into the heated nights of summer and helped her to fly.

The car that they spent a majority of their time—a 1970 Mustang with a midnight paint job and leather seats that their skin stuck against in the blistering summer heat. With the radio turned loud and the speakers vibrating, the smell of fried food and salt drifting in through open windows, it was the epitome that was summer freedom for the both of them.

“So what do you want to do tonight?” asked Eli in his usual energetic, rhythmic tone.

Jin Yoon shrugged. “Its up to you.”

“No, its not!” Eli proclaimed. “Come on, Jin Yoon. Make up your own mind for once.”

“I don't know!” she exclaimed.

Eli sighed, muttering at her under his breath. “There's a party on the pier tonight. You wanna go?”

Jin Yoon perked up, the mention of a party sounded exciting. “Sure.”

---

The party was just as Jin Yoon expected: loud with a great throng of drunken people dancing about. Eli looked more than pleased, seeming to be familiar territory. A bonfire rose into the night sky that was littered with stars. Sand flitted underneath Ji Yoon's flip flops as she walked about. There was really no one she recognized or knew, though Eli had struck up a conversation with a group. She contemplated going over there when he motioned for her to do so.

She was introduced to names she would never meet again and would not remember hers the next morning. They were intoxicated, highly and rigorously trying to focus on her frame. A bottle was placed in her hand and Eli offered to open it for her with his large hands. Jin Yoon sipped at the bottle's contents, the bite of alcohol on her tongue and the burn down her throat. She drank it too fast, unused to such a poison. Soon she was tipsy, stumbling along with Eli who tried to keep her in a straight line.

Eli himself was still somewhat sober; someone had to be if they were to get home. His small apartment was only a block or so from the pier, but it was easier to walk when someone was not completely wasted—like Jin Yoon was becoming.
He found them a spot on the beach where the sand was still wet, but the view was breathtaking. The moon's white light reflected off the water, making it look like heavenly glass. The palm trees silhouettes stood proud and tall against the navy night sky. Jin Yoon was silent beside him, looking blankly out onto the waves. She had been a happy drunk most of the night, but she had quieted down. Eli was was vaguely aware of their arms, their outer thighs, touching. Skin on skin. He swallowed and took another swallow of his beer.

“So...” he started. “Enjoying yourself?”

Jin Yoon sighed, rubbing at her head. “I guess...”

Eli looked at her, eyebrows furrowing. His piercing gleamed in the cold moonlight. “What's up with the tone, girl?”

She shook her head, black hair coming out of its usually constricted ponytail. “I'm just...tired. I want to go home.”

Jin Yoon was not a partier and Eli knew it. She was too timid, too afraid of everything and everyone around her. She probably was beginning to get a headache from hell too. Sighing, Eli got to his feet and offered his hand to her. She took it and he pulled her to her feet. Her legs unsteady, she bobbled and he grabbed her biceps to steady her.

Eli noticed the way her face had went blank for a moment. Then, noticing the proximately they were from each other, she immediately dropped her eyes from his. Her timidness was annoying sometimes, but he found it rather attractive, honestly. She had a sense of innocence that made him feel messed up. Her face was not overly beautiful, but she was pretty. Her looks were forgettable, nothing extremely outstanding.

However, Eli found something so beautiful about her. He just adored the way she messed with the hem of either her t-shirt or her shorts, how she always wore her hair up, and was precise about little details in her life that no one else seemed to care about.

He knew her timidness wasn't natural. Someone had done something to make her crawl into a shell. He would catch glimpses of that past version of her, smiling genuinely and enjoying the moment. But then she would catch herself and withdraw again before Eli could grab hold and pull her back up. He wanted nothing more than for her to trust him. He wanted nothing more to see that side of her that she was too afraid to let loose again.

The alcohol was kicking in and Eli really had nothing else to do, but to kiss her. And so he did. His lips pressed down on hers, eager and demanding just like he was. Jin Yoon was stunned, unsure how to react. Eli held tight when he felt her try to pull away. His hands moved from her sides, arms encircling her waist tightly and bringing her closer to him. Jin Yoon felt her head spinning wildly. Knees threatened to give way under the obscene pressure that she was suddenly enduring. But she could not bring herself to push Eli away. Instead, she felt herself kissing him back, lips harshly moving against his as she encircled her arms around his neck and clumsily ran fingers through his short, golden hair.

It was a far from graceful attempt to get them both back to Eli's apartment that was—thankfully—on the ground floor. They were stumbling in the dark, groping at each other and giggling. They thundered through the door after Eli had taken a decade to get it unlocked. Eli immediately slipped his t-shirt off in their moment of separation and threw it somewhere in the room. They connected again, Jin Yoon's hands resting against his now bare chest as his own fingers played at the hem of her loose tanktop. Soon that was discarded of, her getting to work on the buckle of his belt. More clothes were discarded of. Jin Yoon's legs wrapped around his waist, lips locked tight with his and hands holding onto his face. Her breath was hot against his lips before he moved his mouth to her neck, hands gripping her thighs as he moved them across the room and into the tiny bedroom.

Jin Yoon's back hit the mattress and she let out a constricted breath, only able to think a moment before Eli's body blanketed hers. His fingers trickled down her side to the rim of her shorts, ready to take those denims and her panties in one move.

He stopped short of enveloping themselves in a kiss again. His heart was pounding, self-control little. “Are you sure?” he breathed. Their noses brushed against each other, eyelids flickering.

She inhaled sharply, gripping onto his shoulders. Hands traveled up to his face, tracing hurriedly over the firm jaw. “Yes.”

---

Eli sat at the edge of the bed. He was still naked, only a sheet over his lap for decency. His ears picked up on the soft cries coming from the bathroom. She was trying desperately to keep her sobs to herself, but they were so desperate for a release, she couldn't.

He rose from his seat, grabbing for his boxers and slipping into them. His knuckles wrapped against the door and sobs cut short and became tiny whimpers. “Can I come in?”

It took a moment for an answer to sprout. “N—no.”

“Jin Yoon, let me in.” He tried the doorknob; it did not budge.

“I'm fine, Eli.”

“No, you're not,” he interjected. “Let me in. Please.”

There was no response and the two lapsed into silence. The door was only an inch thick, but it felt like a mile divided them. Eli leaned his forehead against the thin wood, sighing heavily. She was crying again. He hadn't the slightest inkling of what to say to her. Things had just gotten good between them and now...they were screwed up. Actually, they were beyond that. Eli was not one to sleep around, but it was safe to say he was far from innocent. He had no idea what she had done, who she had been with. By her reaction, he feared the worst. He was probably her first.

His hand gripped into a fist and he smacked his head against the wood. “Ji Yoon, I'm sorry. Just let me in and we can talk this over.”

Eli heard the slight shuffle of movement from inside and the lock clicked. He stepped back and the door opened. She stood in her clothes from the night before, hair an unsettled heap and make-up streaked. Usually warm brown orbs were blood-shot and dull. She dared not look at him, having no idea what to do.

Eli grabbed her hand, leading her out. However, she quickly pulled away, coming to stand in the center of the disorganized bedroom. She held herself, jerking away when he reached out for her. “Don't touch me.”

Eli blinked at the chill in her voice. “Jin Yoon...”

“What have we done?” she demanded, finally managing to look up at him. Her eyes were fearful, but a sense of anger sparked in them. “You were my...my friend.”

“I know.”

“Do you?” she asked. “Or is this what you always do? You make someone trust you, then—then get them drunk and make them sleep with you?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Eli stepped forward, aggravation crinkling his brows. “I didn't make you do anything. You seemed more than willing to last night.”

“I was drunk—”

“You weren't drunk enough that you couldn't tell me 'no'! You told me 'yes'!”

“I was—” Jin Yoon stopped, tears brimming her eyes again. She hissed, pushing back the hair from her face as she turned away, hands clawing in her scalp. “I didn't want this. I just...we were friends.”

“We still can't be?” asked Eli.

“Its going to make things...complicated.” She sniffed, wiping at her eyes and bending down to grab her bra. “I—I need to go,” she stated, hurrying for the door while reaching under her shirt to quickly put it back into place.

Eli chased after her, bare feet padding against the cool floor. Outside, it was early morning; the sky was overcast, the land was clothed in gray. Rain was beginning to sprinkle, adding the unbearable humidity of the day. “Jin Yoon, wait.”

She slipped on her shoes, tears streaming past her eyes. “I can't talk to you right now.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” she said. “I just can't.”

“That's not a good justification.”

“Just leave me alone, Eli!” she shrieked, whipping up to face him. “I can't do this right now, okay? I never wanted this. I never wanted...anything to happen. I just can't deal with it.” She pushed the screen door open and hurried down the descending sidewalk, rain beginning to pour around her.

Eli should have went after her; he should have grabbed her and held her and told her that everything would be okay and they would figure things out. He knew that was what he should have done. But he didn't. Instead, he watched from behind the screen as she trotted down the small hill and down the sidewalk before disappearing around the corner.

They never spoke to each other again, but they always thought of the other. They thought of the hot summer nights, the heat from the bonfires, and the smell of alcohol on the others breath. The summer ended and Jin Yoon returned to Korea, but she never forgot about him—the man that was responsible for her eventual freedom from a past that had kept her tied down.

He helped her move on.