Chasing Hearts

"Tell me about yourself, Alan," Kellin said, putting out his third cigarette on the windowsill and tossing it carelessly out the window. "I don't want a stranger in my house."

"Oh, uh," Alan stuttered, blushing at the other boy's demanding yet gentle tone, "There's not much to tell. I'm a bland person in all aspects."

Kellin rolled his eyes and plopped down onto the carpet, patting the space to the right of him. Alan cautiously took the seat, folding his legs underneath him and not making eye contact as he did so.

"Surely there's got to be something interesting about you," the dark-haired boy told him, taking a look at him and quirking a brow.

Alan just shrugged and wrung his hands together in his lap. He really did believe that he had nothing worth sharing, but if Kellin wanted him to talk then he would have to find something to talk about.

"Well, um," the redhead starts, looking up at the ceiling in thought, "I play guitar and I have for a while. My best friend Austin and I are trying to start a band. I turned 16 a little over a month ago. Oh, yeah, and my initials are A.A.A."

Kellin nods, his lips curling slightly into a tiny smirk. He leans back on the palms of his hands and catches Alan's gaze. He watches in amusement as the ginger's cheeks begin to burn.

"Alright," was Kellin's only response. "Cool things. Neat things."

Alan chuckled nervously, seemingly unable to form a proper sentence. His throat had gone dry, and he fidgeted in his spot where he sat.

"What about you?" Alan asked after a few agonizing minutes of silence. "I'm sure you have better things to say about yourself."

Kellin shrugged and sighed, pulling his handy paper box of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket and plucking yet another one out. He places the tube of tobacco between his lips, but doesn't light it, just leaves it there.

"You don't need to know anything about me," he told him, the cigarette bouncing slightly with every word.

The redhead's phone chimed twice just then, making both of them nearly jump out of their skin. Kellin's cigarette tumbled from his lips and rolled onto the carpet, out of his reach. He didn't bother to chase after it, too busy focusing on the other boy's frantic movements. Alan scrambled to his knees and slid his phone out of his back pocket with trembling fingers, unlocking it quickly to read his notifications.



Alan chuckled down at the screen and typed a quick ok ur majesty and hit send. When he looked back up, Kellin was eyeing him expectedly, obviously wanting details but clearly not about to actually ask for them.

"It was Austin," Alan told him and cleared his throat, "I have to go. He's working on some stuff for the band and from the sound of it, he's got something good."

Kellin only nods, keeping his gaze locked on him for a few too many seconds, as if analyzing his soul, before tearing his eyes away. He stood up and brushed off the front of his pants. Standing up straight, he stretched out his limbs, and Alan cringed at the noise some of his joints made as he cracked them.

He started walking toward the door without so much as a glance at Alan. The ginger felt his cheeks begin to color again as he stood up and slowly trailed after the other boy. They made their way downstairs, and Alan jumped for the second time as Kellin's mom immediately came into view. Her hands were clasped together tightly in front of her chest and a toothy grin adorned her friendly features.

"Nice to see that you two are still alive!" She exclaimed with a warm giggle that the redhead couldn't help but smile at.

"We've literally only been upstairs for two hours, Mom," Kellin groaned and shoved past her, heading into the living room.

As Alan followed him with his eyes, he noticed that there were already picture frames hung on the walls and abstract artwork poised in surprisingly complimenting areas of the room. Once Kellin was out of sight, his attention returned to the woman blocking his path.

"Is he...alright, Mrs. Bostwick?" He asked, his brows furrowing together at the sound of something falling and a muffled shout of Fuck!

Her lips curled downward ever so slightly, but she quickly recovered, the bright smile returning to her face. She clearly didn't think he'd noticed, or didn't want him to, so he chose to ignore it.

"He should be fine," she spoke softly, but her grin didn't meet her eyes. "It'll be rough on him for a while. I mean, what teenager wouldn't have a hard time moving out of state and dealing with his parents splitting up? I wouldn't worry about it, though. Kellin's a tough kid. Got it from his momma."

Alan laughed quietly at the joking wink she threw in at the end, but his heart lurched in sympathy for the other boy.

"So I should call you Miss Bostwick, right? I'm so sorry, I didn't even think about that," he asked sincerely.

"Oh, no, honey," she laughed and waved her hand in the air, as if swatting away his words. "Call me Mary."

Alan nodded with a grin that finally matched hers. He blushed, not used to parents being this kind with him. Not even Austin's parents gave him this sort of attention. Then again, they had grown so used to him running in and out of their house for the last seven years that it probably didn't even faze them anymore.

Oh, shit. Austin.

"It was really nice-"

"Would you like to stay for dinner, Alan? We're probably just going to run to Taco Bell. It's Kellin's favorite," she cut him off with a chuckle.

Alan smiled politely, but shook his head.

"I would love to, but I can't. I promised a friend I'd drop by to work on some things. It was really nice meeting you both, though," he told her, but he didn't know why his chest seemed to well up with disappointment that he couldn't stay longer.

Mary's smile didn't falter. "That's alright, sweetie. Maybe next time. I'd love to see you around here more often!"

"Definitely," he nodded.

He saw Kellin reappear out of the corner of his eye and looked back up, just as Mary turned to rush into the kitchen. His face was blank, but his eyes were swam with a million different emotions that Alan couldn't quite place a finger on just yet. The sight of it alone made Alan want to just yank him back up the stairs by his arm and force him to open up to him.

But he didn't. Instead, he raised his left hand in a pathetic attempt at a wave and smiled sheepishly. Kellin's face didn't change, but he nodded in recognition.

"I'll stop by tomorrow?" Alan worded the phrase as a question, not sure whether he should feel welcomed into the home just yet.

Again, Kellin only nodded.

The redhead bit his lip and shot another bashful smile at the boy, before turning to walk to the front door. After he'd set foot on the porch, he suddenly felt much calmer, and he was able to breathe normally again. He pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket and dialled Austin's number as he walked off the porch and made his way onto the sidewalk. His call was answered on the second ring.

"Dude, where the hell are you?" His best friend's exhausted voice came through the speaker of the phone. Alan sighed in response and kicked a few good-sized pebbles as he walked.

"On my way, man," the ginger said, looking up only to check for cars as he crossed the street. He struggled to keep his voice loud enough for Austin to hear over the sound of the busy streets. "I've been at my neighbor's house."

"I didn't know you were friends with Gaskarth."

"What? I'm not. A new family just moved into that nice white house on the other side of me. They're nice. A mom and a boy about our age. He's very...interesting."

"Alan..." Austin sighed on the other side of the call. He sounded disappointed. "I can hear it in your voice. You don't even have to say much. You like him. And I don't want to sound like an overbearing mother but after what happened with-"

"Austin," Alan interrupted sharply, dragging a hand down the right side of his face. He had to look up again, in order to cross another street. "This guy...he's just interesting, alright? Nothing else. I mean, he barely told me anything about himself. How am I supposed to have feelings for someone I know nothing about, let alone just met?"

There was a brief moment of silence before Austin spoke again.

"Yeah, I know. And I know you can take care of yourself and all that shit, I just... You're my best friend, Alan. I don't want to see my ginger princess hurt again."

Alan rolled his eyes at the ridiculous nickname.

"I'll be fine, Austin. Look, I'm about ten minutes away from your house. I'll see you in a few."

"Alright."

Alan ended the call and pocketed his phone. He sighed loudly as he crossed yet another street, blushing as several drivers began to honk their horns at him. Whether it was because he was walking too slow or those fifty-something-year-old men just noticed how defined his calf muscles looked in the cutoffs he was wearing, he didn't know. He didn't care enough to stick around to find out, either.

xxxx

"So, Alan seems like a nice boy, doesn't he, Kellin?"

Kellin shrugged at his mom's question and took the last small bite of a steak chalupa. After he'd swallowed the mouthful, he parted his lips to speak.

"He's alright," he mumbled. The corners of his mouth tugged down into a small frown. "Kind of obnoxious. Not in an annoying way. He's just...quiet. It's weird."

Mary laughed at his words and stood up to gather their empty wrappers and nacho containers. She walked to the kitchen to toss them into the garbage.

"Not all boys are as rowdy as Justin and Gabe, sweetie," she told him from the other room with another teasing laugh.

Kellin only sighs in response. He was honestly surprised at how at ease he felt with Alan already, after not even knowing him for twenty-four hours. Still, there was something about him that was just...off. Nothing too bad, he could tell. Alan just had this aura. One that made him sick to the stomach. Alan was too quiet. Too shy. Too... sad?

He was still trying to figure it out by the time he went to bed that night. He and his mom were in their pajamas, lying down on a small pile of blankets and pillows and covering up with a few of the extra ones. They wouldn't be getting their furniture until the moving trucks got there, so they had to improvise.

The discomfort that the hard floor gave to Kellin's back didn't faze him in the slightest. His mind was too busy reeling. His thoughts would travel from one pointless thing to the next. This happened every night, but it progressively would get worse and worse. As Mary's soft snores emitted from beside him and filled the room, he was able to think somewhat clearly.

He thought about his father. How he'd believed that their family would be together forever. How they could have been happy, had it not been for his father's cheating and drinking problem.

He thought about the friends he left behind in Michigan. How he knew that Justin, Gabe and Jack would visit him whenever they got the chance, but that it wouldn't be very often at all.

He thought about everything from school to jobs to animals. How did the educational system run in New York? How was he going to pay for his insurance once he finally got a car? Did he want a pet hedgehog, and if so, would he name it Hercules or Constantine?

He thought about Alan. He thought about what kinds of things might run through his mind. What was he thinking about at that exact moment? Was he sleeping in the comfort of his own home? Did he even have friends aside from this "Austin"? He sure hadn't mentioned anyone else. Should he try to be just a little nicer to the kid?

Kellin's mind was still racing as his eyes slipped shut. He was grateful when sleep finally took over and willed him into a brief state of unconsciousness.