Spirit Desire

I kicked off the beige heels as soon as I entered my house. The black blazer soon followed after it and I sighed contentedly as my feel touched the ground and I went back to being three inches shorter, as God had intended it.

I had decided to go out job hunting, though it wasn’t as successful as I would’ve like. I had even followed Javier’s advice and wore one of my best job hunting outfits—which I’m guessing Javier only suggested it because it showed some cleavage, but in a classy sort of way. It had all been a waste though, seven instances of me dropping off a resume after being told sorry we’re not hiring but I’ll send this along to my manager.

I would’ve preferred a we’re not interested in hiring anyone new at the moment instead of a tiny glimmer of false hope.

“Ma,” I yelled loudly but received no answer. I looked at the clock only to see it was already 5:30, which means her beloved telenovela was halfway through. After grabbing some chips and salsa from the kitchen I quickly made my way up the stairs towards my mother’s room.

She was sitting in her large bed watching the television determinedly, her mouth covered by her hand as she looked at the novela. I glanced at the television and snorted once I saw what novella she was watching.

This one was one of the most cliché novela that was being shown and I could almost guess the whole plotline by just watching snippets. This one was of two star crossed lovers, Mercedes and David, each one the children of rival business men who were intently fighting over the distribution of tequila. Although their love was forbidden Mercedes and David were secretly meeting up in the town’s square and professing their undying love.

My mom was intently looking at the screen, gasping and sighing whenever something scandalous happened. I just rolled my eyes as I climbed onto her bed and proceeded to eat some chips, I offered her some only to have her swat the bowl away.

Once the novella turned into commercials—Mercedes had just been caught by her father in her rendez vous with David—my mom muted the television and turned to me. “Don’t eat on the bed, messy girl,” she yanked the bowl of chips and placed them on her bedside table, I frowned, “how was the job?” she asked as an afterthought.

“Mal,” I frowned and tried to get back the chips but she slapped my hand, “no one’s hiring. How am I supposed to be a nurse if no one wants to hire nurses,” I whined but she just shushed me and turned up the volume on the television.

The novela ended, Mercedes had just received an ultimatum from her father or marry Nicholas, the man her father had chosen and the son of his best friend, or get cut off. The last shot was of Mercedes crying in front of her father, my mom of course sniffled at this and I tried to not roll my eyes. She muttered a tomorrow at five to herself as if she would forget when her daily show came on.

"I don't know why you watch this anymore," I said as she shut off the television, "you already know what's going to happen and the actors are so bad."

"David is handsome," she raised her eyebrows, "plus, I do not know how it will end. This is a new novela."

"It's a remake, you've seen the same plot like twenty times. She'll end up with David and her dad will bless the marriage on his death bed," she narrowed her eyes and slapped my arm as she stood up from the bed. “I’m hungry,” I mumbled.

“I am also,” she answered and immediately glared at me when she found some crumbs on the bed, “you’re taking us out to dinner.”

“Why?” I asked as I stood up to and managed to grab the plate of chips from her, “didn’t you make dinner?”

“No,” she answered, “we though you would have gotten hired and so we thought of going out to dinner to celebrate!” she said excitedly.

“It doesn’t work that way,” I whined suddenly feeling bad that I hadn’t gotten a job yet and was disappointing my mother. She didn’t know how getting jobs here worked, and even less getting a job in a hospital, she had never had a job and so she had no idea about the interview process and the screenings. “I’ve been trying to get a job since I graduated and nothing.”

“Todo con tiempo,” she muttered as she shooed me out of her room after telling me to hurry up because she wanted to eat dinner soon.

Everything with time, I muttered angrily as I stared at my clothes and quickly picked out a pair of jeans so I wouldn’t look too corporate for dinner. Gaby, my youngest sister was already waiting at the bottom of the stairs with my mom as I had finished. I should have known Gaby was going to be going to dinner; she was always up for eating as long as it didn’t involve her cooking or her cleaning.

“Let’s go then,” I said happily as we walked out of the house and towards my car, both Gaby and my mom arguing where we should go have dinner. In the end they decided on a Chinese restaurant in the middle of downtown that had been a favorite in our family.

“So,” Gaby asked after the waiter had taken our order and she had stared at his backside as we walked away from our table, “how was job hunting?”

“I wish people would stop asking me that,” I whined as I took a sip from my orange soda, “if I don’t have a job yet that means it went bad, and I don’t have a job.”

“Salvador told me something interesting,” my mom commented as she served herself some noodles. Both Gaby and I stared at her as we waited for her to continue, she always like making us wait for whatever she wanted to say, ”he said he saw you” she pointed at me with her fork, “and some boy outside of the house kissing.”

“Hay Dios,” I muttered, and quickly crossed myself when she glared at me angrily, “Salvador is a creep,” I muttered.

“Were you?” Gaby asked with a smirk.

“No,” I answered quickly, “I was talking with a friend outside of the house, you know how much Salvador likes to exaggerate. He’s worse than all my tias put together.”

Gaby laughed loudly and my mom continued glaring, “Mas te vale,” she said and I knew she was serious whenever she decided to speak in Spanish to us rather than English, “I don’t want you doing this in public. People see and what do they say? If you are seeing this boy I want to meet.”

“There’s no one,” I assured her but she stared at me longer, “I wouldn’t lie to you. If there was someone you would be the first to know,” I smiled and touched her nose.

“So if there’s no one, then who was this boy who dropped you off ehh?” Gaby asked.

“Please just stop talking about this,” I told Gaby, “he’s one of Natalie’s boyfriend’s band mates. After Natalie’s party he brought me home so I wouldn’t disturb Salvador. He had a trial the next day you know.”

She hummed and focused on her food as we listened to my mom retell her novela. Gaby would interject different things and shell out theories with my mom as if she watched the novela also. Gaby and her seemed to be having the time of their life as I sulked thinking about how I still didn’t have a job and my life seemed to be going in the wrong direction.

I stared at my bag as the obnoxious apple ringtone came from inside. My mom glared at me as I rifled through my bad and picked out the phone before answering the unknown number quickly—anything to get her to stop staring at me.

“Hello,” I mumbled and turned away from both Gaby and my mother.

“Tesorina?” I smiled as soon as Leone’s voice made it through, “listen, I got your number off of Natalie. Practically had to beg her for it. Are you busy?”

“Not terribly, but my mom is burning holes into my head because I answered your phone call at the table,” I answered while chewing on a straw.

“I’ll make this quick then,” I could hear some shuffling, “I’m playing a show tonight, not with Chris though, another band. It’d be great if you could accompany me to it.”

“I don’t know,” I answered.

“Come on, I promise you’ll have a good time,” he coaxed.

“I’m not sure,” I said into the phone, “where is it?”

“The Hills,” he quickly answered, “listen, I can pick you up and drop you off. Don’t worry about that, just go to the show with me, yeah?”

I nodded my head although he couldn’t see, “Sure.”

“Alright, be ready by eight, I’ll pick you up then.”

I mumbled a sure before we hung up and I turned to Gaby who was looking at me with her eyebrow raised. “Don’t.” I said before placing my credit card atop the bill that was resting on the table. “Well, I’m ready to go, I’ve got plans for later.”

“With who?” my mom asked suspiciously.

The waiter Gaby had been looking at all night picked up the card and smiled at us all before leaving the table, Gaby sighed before looking at us, “the boy Salvador was talking about?”

“Just go back to staring at the waiter, at least ask him for his number or something,” she kicked me under the table before turning to my mom expectantly, “no, it was Natalie’s boyfriend. We’re all going out to celebrate because it’s his birthday.”

Gaby sighed but perked up once the waiter returned and bid us a goodnight, “look at his butt,” she sighed dreamily.

My mom rolled her eyes and swatted the back of her head, “stop doing that. Vamonos.” She stood up and ushered us to the parking lot as if she were the one driving us home.

When we got home it was already 7:25, which only gave me about half an hour to get ready before Leone would be knocking on my door, or calling me to go off to his show. Gaby decided to try and persuade me to tell her if anything was going on between me and a boy but I never did trust Gaby too much with these things—she was too close to my mom and any conversation I had with her would surely make its way to her ears. Besides, it wasn’t like there was anything going on between Leone and I, it was just a blossoming friendship, with a bit of touching here and there.

There was nothing to tell. Gaby had just pouted at that answer but decided to help me figure out what to wear—which I was thankful for because what I was lacking in the fashion department she more than made up for. In the end, which only gave me about five minutes before Leone would show up, Gaby shoved a pair of black jeans along with a top that belong to her—for I would never wear something so tight or low cut—and a simple jean jacket into my hands before telling me to hurry and leaving my room.

Gaby had good taste, but her good taste meant that I would feel uncomfortable and try to modify the shirt so it wasn’t so revealing once I had put it on. Unfortunately that didn’t work and I was startled when she came running up to my room again and smiling widely.

“There’s a car in the driveway. I think whoever’s in it is trying to figure out whether to come in or just call.” She grinned and I hurriedly tried to put on heels while simultaneously trying to leave my room for if Leone did decide to knock on the door it would be my mother who would answer it and bless her soul but the woman still behaved as if we were living in Mexico. She would no doubt grill him until he was uncomfortable and I never wanted to see him again.

“Hurry!” Gaby said sarcastically as I fumbled a bit before running down the stairs, thankfully the doorbell hadn’t rung yet so I knew Leone and I were in the clear.

He was leaning against his car once I opened the door, cell phone up to his ear and I could feel mine vibrating against my thigh. He quickly turned it off before sliding it into his pocket and pushing himself of the car.

“You’re on time tesorina,” he wrapped his arms around my waist before leading me to the passenger side of his car and opening the door, “every girl I’ve ever picked up from their place was always at least ten minutes late.”

“My dad used to say always be five minutes early if you’re on time then you might as well be late,” I chuckled as I buckled my seatbelt. He laughed also as he pulled out of my driveway, his hand landed on my knee as he told me all about the band he was going to play with.

It was a rock band he described, a mix between Interpol and Blur he said. He wasn’t really a part of the band, he was covering for his friend who was sick with the flu and asked him to play since this was actually a paid performance.

“Chris is always with Natalie and so he doesn’t really pay attention to our band, so I figured I might as well play today and get some money for it,” he shrugged his shoulders before turning off the car. “You ready for this tesorina?” he asked and I nodded before we both got out of the small car.

Leone quickly ushered us to the front of the line to the small club and nodded at the bouncer. I felt extremely out of place amidst all the punk girls and boys who were waiting and beside the couple who was furiously making out besides us. I felt even more awkward at the looks we were getting for just going ahead of all the people who had probably been waiting for a while to get in. I instantly felt bad and I think Leone noticed this because he squeezed my shoulder before beginning to talk to the large bouncer guarding the door.

“You’re playing with them today?” he asked after they had shook hands.

“Michael’s sick with the flu or something and I have to fill in on the bass.”

“Sick? In the middle of summer?” the bouncer asked

“That kid could get sick with a cold in the middle of the desert,” Leone laughed, “it’s getting late Tom, better let us in before John starts getting nervous and trashes the place like the last time.”

“Oh, mister rockstar,” I mumbled and the bouncer laughed.

“John’s a little prick,” he chuckled, “but he can sing so they still let them play here. Now go on in, before Leone gets restless.” He rolled his eyes and let us through the doors.

“What are you drinking tesorina?” Leone asked as he led us toward a secluded booth on the top floor of the club.

“Screwdriver,” I answered and he nodded before walking away from me and towards the bar. From where I was sitting I had a full view of the stage and of the wide array of instruments. The lights were starting to dim and more people were making their way inside. He came back a few minutes later holding a water bottle and a screwdriver in his hands. He quickly muttered a quick goodbye saying band duties called before running down the stairs and towards the stage.

If I wanted to be angry at the fact that I had been left alone in the booth by the person who had invited me out, it would’ve been too hard considering Leone had told me before leaving that he had left a tab open and I could help myself to how many screwdrivers I wanted. I also couldn’t be too angry after seeing him on stage playing, halfway through his set he had taken off his shirt and was playing happily.

He belonged up there I thought as I ordered yet another screwdriver and continued looking at him. His skin shining under the harsh fluorescent lights and I felt lucky that at least one time I was able to trace the tattoos on his skin as I’m sure some girls in the audience wanted to do.

Once the band had finished their set, a bit over forty five minutes, and I had at least four more screwdrivers, I was at the point where my face would scrunch up at the taste of the bitter orange juice. I was calmly enjoying the not so bright lights and the light hum of people’s conversations, after the set the crowd seemed to die a little and now there were only people lingering by the bar—no doubt doing the same as I was doing—and a few dancing along to some poppy 80’s song.

Leone came soon after the set had finished—unfortunately he had placed a shirt over his chest—and after him came two other males, one of which I could recognize as the singer from the band. He was short and I was sure I was the same height as him in my heels but he was endearing with large brown eyes, longish dirty blonde hair and a scruffy beard. Leone had introduced as Johnny,

“so you’re the one that wrecks the room?” I asked taking a sip of my drink—I couldn’t believe someone so small and sweet looking was capable of trashing rooms when angry.

“It was one time,” he exclaimed as he rubbed the back of his neck shyly, “I didn’t even destroy the room. It was our first show you know, and I got so nervous I got sick all over the back room.

I laughed, “I’m Adriana,” I mumbled as I held out a hand to the cute vocalist, “I would ask for your name but I got it from the bouncer upfront when we came in.”

“Tom won’t let it go, he always looks at me as if I’ll do it again,” he shook his head, “he’s a scary man,” he said looking at me, and I would’ve laughed at the face he made if it wasn’t so cute.

“You need to get over that and not get sick anymore,” Leone punched his shoulder before turning at me, “and this is Michael, he’s the one I was filling in for.” He motioned towards the other scruffy looking male besides Johnny.

Unlike Johnny, this Michael was not short, he was definitely more than six feet and his lankiness did nothing to make him seem a bit less awkward. His hair was cut short but led to a scruffy beard all over his cheeks and chin. The square frames on his face made him look like a young boy but I was sure he was probably older than Leone or myself.

“Nice to meet you,” I said and before I could shake his hand he placed down a tray full of different alcoholic beverages on the table—a lot more than three people needed.

“Well, Leone actually did a good job,” Michael started, “we all thought he was going to fuck it up,” Leone laughed even though it was a jab at him, “so we might as well celebrate it. Except for Leone, because he’s responsible and he’s taking this lady home.”

I rolled my eyes and Leone did the same, “just because I don’t like getting drunk every other day Michael decides to make fun of me.” Leone said into my ear as the two boys and I grabbed drinks, which I was happy to realize was tequila.

My face scrunched up as I felt the tequila slide down my throat, no matter how many times I drank tequila the taste of it always made my throat burn. Leone had just laughed and kissed my check as I sucked on a lemon.

The conversations started to get a bit hazy after the second tequila shot, Leone and his friends were talking animatedly around me but I could really only focus on the screwdrivers that kept making themselves appear on our table courtesy of the boys who thought I was funny and because I was there with Leone.

I didn’t pay much attention to the conversation going on around me, but I would randomly interject an opinion which would cause them all to roar in laughter—though I’m sure I’m not remotely as funny as the three of them. Leone’s arm stayed curled around my shoulders all night long and when his friends announced they were leaving he didn’t bother getting up and hugging them goodbye but instead waved and directed his attention to me after they had walked away from the table.

“Did you have fun tonight?” he asked as we looked out at the stage.

“Oh loads!” I grinned excitedly and managed to spill my drink on the floor. Luckily enough, there was another waiting for me on the table and I quickly grabbed it.

“How many drinks have you had?” he laughed, “besides the tequila shots and the, I’m guessing three, screwdrivers since we ended the show?”

“I don’t know, I don’t keep count,” I furrowed my brows and stared at the table that was littered with small umbrellas and glass tumblers, “they just kept on appearing on the table,” I pointed at the table accusingly, “and I kept on taking them.

“You’re drunk tesorina, your cheeks are all red and your face is warm,” he commented as he grabbed my face in his hands. I nuzzled my nose in his hands before sighing and pulling away from his hold to defend my obvious state of drunkenness.

“No, I’m not drunk,” I tried to reason, “I’m Mexican,” cue the hiccup, “it takes more than a couple of screwdrivers and a few tequila shots. Plus, you’re only saying that because you haven’t had a single drink tonight.”

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to his side, making my screwdriver slosh around in the small glass, I frowned at it before staring at him. “I’m staying sober tonight, need to take you home and all that tesorina.”

“You really shouldn’t call me tesorina,” I muttered as my arm lay languidly across his chest and I drew small patterns over the patch of his shirt where I knew the tattoo of some roman numerals was hidden.

“Why so?” he chuckled.

“because—” I started, “it makes me shiver.”

He groaned loudly and I laughed, which caused me to drop the remaining liquid on both of our chests. “I’m sorry,” I frowned as I patted down his chest, “I don’t—I’m just clumsy right now. I think the tequila’s getting to me.”

“It’s okay tesorina,” he mumbled as he pulled the shirt from his body only to have it spring back onto his chest.

“Don’t call me that,” I mumbled against his neck, “shivers” I drew out.

“We’d better get you home and out of your wet clothes,” he mumbled as his eyes roamed my now ruined top. I sighed but nodded my head and patted his chest, only making my hand wet and causing him to laugh. He quickly brought us both down the stairs and said goodbye to Tom the bouncer before I launched myself at him and bid him a goodnight. Both Leone and Tom seemed to find that hilarious and I found myself pouting at them both.

“Do you want to kiss me?” I asked as we made our way outside of the club and began walking to Leone’s car, my hand enclosed in his as I leaned myself on him. My hand was lazily tracing the veins on his arms that were prominent.

“of course tesorina,” he chuckled, “but not when you’re completely hammered.”

“I’m not hammered,” I mumbled while letting go of his hand and crossing my arms over my chest. “I’m not, I’m fine.” I stressed as walked by myself as if that was going to show him I was completely sober.

He chuckled before hooking his hand with mine, “you’re so cute tesorina.”

“Oh,” I began following his lead again until we reached his car. I reclined against his car as he opened the passenger seat and placed his arm atop of it as he smiled towards me. He grabbed my hand and pulled my towards him as his hand circled around my waist.

“Let’s take you home before it gets too late,” I nodded against his chest before separating from him and sliding into the car, curling my legs up to my chest after I buckled my seatbelt.

The drive home was near silent except for the soft music coming from the car’s speakers—jazz again. I spent the short drive looking at Leone, the way his eyebrows furrowed when someone cut him off and the way his hands tapped lightly on the steering wheel.

The only thing that alerted me to the fact that we had arrived in front of my house was Leone opening his door, I seemed to have been staring at him throughout the drive and hadn’t noticed the normally fifteen minute drive had ended. I struggled to unbuckle my seatbelt as he rounded his car and made his way to the passenger side.

“Come on tesorina,” he smiled crookedly as he reached to take my hand and I ungracefully stepped out of the car.

He chuckled as I leaned on his car and looked at him, “I had—hiccup—a good time, thank you for taking me to the show,” I smiled lazily.

“No need to thank me Adriana, I wanted you to come along,” he said while grabbing my hand and bringing me closer to his body. I almost stumbled from the quick movements but laid my head lazily on his chest. He chuckled as he kissed the top of my head.

“Let’s bring you home,” he smiled and held on tightly to my waist, slowly—due to my inebriated mind and lazy limbs—he tried to walk us both quietly up the long driveway. Which I had never noticed was as long as it was, and somewhere in the walk up we had a slight detour.

“Do you want to come up?” I asked boldly as I straddled his lap on my house’s front steps. Between him walking up to my front door and making sure I wouldn’t fall on the cement or even worse, on my mother’s roses, we had ended up in this position.

His hand was running through my hair as the other was holding the small of my back, “don’t make me say no Adriana.”

“Then don’t?” I furrowed my brow as I removed my hands from his neck and brought them down to his biceps, my fingers following the thick black lines etched on the muscle.

“Do you live alone?” he asked and I shook my head, “your mother would kill me, or worse your brother.”

I hummed in agreement, “Salvador would kill you, but he doesn’t have to know.” My eyes drooped and I rested my head on his shoulder.

“Maybe some other time tesorina, when you’re not so drunk and when you’re alone,” he chuckled, raising my head from his shoulder.

I glared angrily, “I’m not drunk,” I muttered before standing up, “and whatever then.”

“Don’t be angry,” he sighed as he followed me up the steps.

“I’m not,” I rolled my eyes and I rifled through my small purse to find my keys.

“That’s what every girl says,” he started as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, “listen Adri—”

I cut him off before he could finish and raised an eyebrow as I turned to look at him, “oh, so this happens often?” I questioned as I crossed my hands over my chest, accidentally letting my purse drop to the floor.

Leone shook his head and sighed, “didn’t mean it like that Adriana,” he bent forward and grabbed my purse. He quickly looked through it before holding out the keys and unlocking my front door, “just go to bed tesorina, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

He handed over my purse and I just stared at it once I had it in my hands, I nodded my head, “Fine.” I mumbled and walked through the threshold, not bothering to close the door behind me but I heard it close once I had gotten to the middle of the staircase.