Spirit Desire

It was September 17th and I was extremely excited to pick up my best friend and Chris from the airport. Their flight was supposed to land at 5:30 in the afternoon and as soon as it was 5:20 Javier and I got into his car and made our way downtown and to the airport.

“Hurry up!” I yelled at Javier who was walking way too slowly for my liking and I knew Natalie and Chris were probably waiting for us near the baggage claim. “Your sister’s going to kill us if we’re any later than we already are.”

“Why do I get the feeling that you’re always way too excited to see Natalie?” he caught up with me and placed his arm over my shoulders, I hunched over from the weight and pushed him away. He kissed my cheek as we waited to cross the street and walk into the airport,

“because she’s a whole lot nicer to me than you are,” I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed loudly, “plus, I love her more than I love you.”

“I’m going to tell Chris that. That way we won’t be shocked when you two run off together to Amsterdam,” he laughed.

“Copenhagen, Javier. Natalie and I planned to run away to Copenhagen when we were fourteen,” I laughed as I remember the first week of high school when we were miserable at school and said we were going to run away. I don’t remember why we had settled on Copenhagen out of all places, but we had made up some long story of all we were going to do—complete with a house on a canal.

“Come on, they’re at terminal one gate thirteen I think,” he led us through the crowded airport and I punched his arm as I saw that Chris and Natalie were already waiting for us in front of the baggage claim. Natalie had her phone up to her ear and I started feeling vibrations in my back pocket.

“I told you they were already here,”

“How did it go?” Javier asked as he hugged his sister and shook Chris’ hand.

“It was so nice Javier,” Natalie started, “it’s so nice there in the summer time, even though it’s way too hot. We went to Central Park, the Statue of Liberty, the Brooklyn Bride, Times Square, good restaurants, and shopping. Chinatown is so cool and in the middle of everything, I loved it Javier, we have to go sometime together. We’ll even got our parents to go with us.”

“I told you you’d love it,” I smiled as Javier and I walked behind Javier and Chris who were dragging their suitcases lazily behind them. “Did you like it Chris?”

“New York’s great,” Chris answered, “I grew up there and I love it when I get to go back. I hadn’t been a while and I had seen my parents in even more time. Plus, it was great to go with Natalie and show her all of my favorite places in the city.”

“What did you guys do while we were gone?” Natalie asked as we got into Javier’s car, the boys putting the two bags of luggage away in the truck and having some separate conversation.

“We went up to Los Angeles for a couple of days. We saw Tom while we were there and he told me to tell you that he said hi and that we should all go up there sometime. The rest of the time I was just working, did I tell you Isabel said they’re expanding the pediatrics center of the Children’s Hospital, I’m going to apply and see if I get the job.”

She smiled, “that’s so good, we should go up there as soon as we can. I haven’t seen Tom in like a year. How is he? How’s Laura?”

“Everyone always knows of these things before me,” I exclaimed as I turned in my seat and looked at her, “No one tells me all the gossip. He was laughing at me over seeing him naked when we were younger and then he’s all like I’m married. Tom, Tom Fitz, he’s married, I didn’t think that would happen at least until he was like thirty-five.”

“I know,” Natalie said, “it was so weird when I met Laura and he told me she was his wife. I guess they really like each other, Javier and I got invited for Thanksgiving at the Fritz’ and it was really awkward. His mom loved her and his dad hated that he had gotten married to someone he said he didn’t know anything about. I think they’re over it now though, I mean Tom and Laura don’t visit them a lot but when they do it’s not as bad as that Thanksgiving.”

“She seems nice, and she’s just as giggly and kind of loopy like Tom. I’m just in shock that he’s married you know?”

“Yeah, I know. Tom and Javi were always like we’re never going to get married. We’ll just fuck bitches and play in our bands and get drunk till we’re fifty. At least Tom grew out of that,” she laughed.

“Well, I still plan on getting drunk and playing the guitar with friends until I’m at least 65,” Javier commented.

“You’re not coming over to our place tonight Adriana?” Natalie asked as we got out of the freeway at my exit.

“No, I have to work tomorrow,” I grumbled and frowned, “I’ve been having to put in extra hours and work even more because of the nurse they fired. I haven’t even told of the nurse opening, it’s so annoying and it’s interfering with my social life,” I whined.

“Oh poor Adriana,” Chris laughed, “having to face the realities of life.”

“Whatever Chris,” I rolled my eyes, “you only say that because you can work from the comfort of your home, with your laptop in front of you and on your own hours. Not all of us are that lucky. I have to help sick people, all you do is design some weird little program and write stuff down on a black screen,” I stuck my tongue out and he laughed.

“We’re at your place Adriana,” Chris said as Javier drove up the driveway and cut the engine.

“We’ll go in with you,” Natalie said excitedly and pushed open her car door. She pulled Chris’ hand and tugged him out of the car.

My mom and Matthew were sitting on the couch as we walked into the hall. She was reading while Matthew was watching the news, it seemed like Matthew had been spending a lot of time over lately. Which made sense since they were engaged now, but it was weird considering I had never seen him in my house before and now I saw him almost every day. Whether he came over for dinner or just to watch some television with my mom he seemed to always be there. I’m pretty sure there was also some overnight visits, but I didn’t want to investigate further into that.

He squeezed my mom’s hand and muted the television as he saw us walk into the living room, “Adriana and her friends are here,” he said.

“Natalie,” my mom said happily, “como te fue en Nueva York?” she asked.

Natalie smiled and she walked over to the couch. She patted Matthew’s leg and sat herself between them, Matthew laughed and stood up before asking us all if we wanted anything from the kitchen. “It was wonderful,” she started, “I loved it, I should’ve gone with you guys when Salvador graduated from NYU.”

“You should have Natalie,” my mom started, “did you go to the park? Did you eat pizza?”

“Yes to everything,” Natalie replied, “there’s a good pizza place near, I think it was Union Square, we had the best pepperoni pizza there. Better than Little Caesar’s.”

“Everything’s better than Little Caesar’s,” Chris commented and sat down next to her and grabbed her hand, “now, Natalie wanted you three to be the first to know so we came over here right away. We have a little announcement.”

“What’s going on?” Javier asked as he sat down on the loveseat and narrowed his eyes towards Chris who was looking redder by the minute. “I knew there was a reason you wanted to come over here instead of back home.”

“What is happening?” my mom asked and shifted on the couch.

“Well nina,” Natalie smiled widely, “I’m pregnant,” she smiled widely.

“Christ sake,” Javier muttered.

“Cuanto tienes Natalie?” my mom asked as she hugged Natalie, “do you know what you’re going to have? It’s always good to have a little boy first.”

“Ten weeks nina,” Natalie answered and my mom placed her hand on her stomach. Nothing was there yet, but I think every woman who has ever been pregnant can feel the baby somehow even if it’s the size of a peanut. Natalie giggled and patted my mom’s hand, “no we don’t know, we have to wait some more time before we can find that out.”

“I personally want a little girl first,” Chris interjected, “I want her to be as pretty as Natalie and with big brown eyes like hers,” Chris kissed Natalie’s cheek and she nuzzled into his side.

All the while, Javier and I were seated on the small loveseat, I was sitting on his lap. Which was probably the only reason he hadn’t lunged towards Chris yet. I could practically hear his teeth grinding and his arms were stiff around my waist. He kept on bouncing his knee and when Chris spoke about the child he hoped to have with Natalie he let go.

“How are you even pregnant Natalie?” he asked angrily.

“Well--” she smiled and Javier quickly cut her off.

“I know how people get pregnant for fuck’s sake Natalie. Why are you fucking pregnant Nat?” her eyes started getting glassy and I tried telling him to calm down but he ignored me. “How could you be so stupid to get pregnant Natalie? How do you think you’re going to be able to have a fucking kid if you’re a waitress, how are you even going to feed it and buy it diapers?”

“It’s not an ‘it’ Javier,” Natalie said angrily, “it’s a baby, it’s my baby. It might not have been planned, but I’ve already thought this over and Chris and I are going to have the baby--”

“You’re so stupid Natalie,” he repeated himself.

“I’m not stupid Javier,” Natalie yelled and Chris placed his hand on her shoulder in an effort to calm her down, “and I thought my big brother would be supportive and be happy that he’s going to have a niece or nephew. Instead you’re over here yelling at me and referring to your future nephew or niece as an ‘it’. God, you’re such an asshole. It’s a wonder anyone wants to be with you, eres un idiota.”

At this point Matthew stepped into the conversation and told everyone that we should take a deep breath and calm down before we really said anything we regretted, but that didn’t stop the two siblings and it didn’t stop Javier from yelling at Natalie some more.

“What am I supposed to tell mom and dad when they call? That they told me to take care of you when they moved to Seattle and now you’ve gotten yourself pregnant? You’re such an idiot Natalie.”

“I’m twenty-six Javier, I’m not the seventeen-year-old you were told to take care of. I got pregnant, what’s the big deal? I don’t expect you to do anything, I don’t even expect you to love my baby when it comes, seeing as you’re being such an asshole at even the idea of a baby.”

“You’re twenty-six Natalie, that’s why you should know better. And it is going to be my problem, it’s going to be my problem as soon as your little boyfriend decides he doesn’t want a family and leaves you alone. Then I’m going to have to look after you and it again, just like I do now,” he said exasperatedly and ran his hand down his face.

“Javier, you should leave,” my mom said as she stood up and narrowed her eyes at him. Natalie’s eyes were almost in tears and Chris was fuming at her side.

“Well Javier,” Natalie said angrily, “you’re not going to have to take care of me or my baby. Not that anyone asked you to do any of that anyway.”

“so fucking stupid Natalie,” Javier mumbled under his breath.

“Javi, I think you should leave,” I whispered to him and stood up from his lap.

“You’re not going to have to take care of her,” Chris spoke up and grabbed Natalie’s hand, “I’m going to take care of her and our daughter or son.”

“How are you going to do that?” Javier asked angrily and I pulled him up from the loveseat.

Chris also stood up and they seemed to square themselves, Chris glaring angrily at Javier. Javier shook his head and looked at Natalie, “I can’t be happy for you Natalie, you should have waited until you were ready for this, at least until you were married or earned more than minimum wage.”

“I’m sorry Javier,” she cried a bit and I could tell Javier being disappointed in her was really upsetting her. Ever since she was seventeen her parents had moved from the state and she was left in the care of her brother. Seeing as she only sees her parents maybe once a year Javier is the only thing she really has besides my family and Chris. “I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

“Don’t apologize Natalie,” my mom commented and petted her head, “you are bringing a tiny little life into the world. There is nothing nobler than that and you are bringing it into a family that will love it. Chris, your brother, even if he’s being a mocoso right now, and all of us that have lived in his house. If your brother can’t see that your baby is a blessing than he doesn’t deserve to even meet the baby,” she kissed her forehead and hugged her.

“This is not the right situation to bring a baby into--” Javier started and began walking out into the hall.

“Javi--” Natalie started but was cut off when Chris started speaking.

“We’re engaged,” he spoke and Javier turned around and stared at Natalie and Chris, ”we got engaged while we were in New York, after we found out that Natalie’s expecting a child and we’re planning on getting married soon.” He finished and we all stared at Javier waiting for his reaction.

“You shouldn’t have gotten pregnant Natalie, that’s not a way to keep someone with you,” he said before he walked out into the hall and then out of the house.

I frowned as I stared at his figure and then turned back to Natalie and Chris, “you guys can stay here, I’ll clear out the guest room and you can stay there until tomorrow when Javier cools down from whatever it is that he’s feeling right now. I’m sure he doesn’t mean anything he said, he’ll probably come by first thing in the morning with some baby clothes or something. It’s not like him to get this mad, especially not at you Nat.”

“Why can’t he be happy for me,” Natalie cried and sat back down on the couch, Matthew who had been lingering throughout the conversation—not knowing what to say or if he could even say anything—brought Natalie some hot chocolate and I was about to tell him Natalie didn’t like chocolate but she gulped it down before I could even speak. I guess chocolate is a cure-all.

“He is happy for you Natalie,” I spoke, “he just has a hard time saying it because you are his baby sister and he probably thinks you’re doing things the wrong way by not getting married before having a baby.”

“He’s so stupid, what about that time you thought you were pregnant in sophomore year. He didn’t call you stupid or himself, he just said you two would figure it out. That’s what Chris and I are doing, the only difference is that we are deciding to keep the baby, I am pregnant, and we’re getting married.”

“Natalie,” I shrieked and my mom glared at me before turning to Natalie, “you’re his little sister, he cares more about you than he could ever care for me. He just wanted more for you I think.”

She sniffled, and wiped her eyes, “I just don’t understand why he’s being so stupid, I just want him to be happy. I just wanted him to see that I’m doing good for myself and be proud of me. He’s never happy for someone other than himself, he's so selfish. I’m just going to ignore him.” She placed a defiant look on her face and kissed Chris on his cheek.

“Regardless, congratulations to the both of you,” I smiled widely and she returned the action, “I’m so happy for you too! How did it happen?”

“Well, I had been late for a couple of months and when we got to New York I was feeling sick and thought it was from the flight but Chris’ mom told me it wasn’t and that I was pregnant,”

“My mom has this weird womanly thing when she can tell if girls are pregnant and she told me as soon as we walked into the house, Natalie didn’t believe her of course.”

“Yeah, well, she bought some tests and they were positive. She was practically in the bathroom with me while I was peeing. Chris and I spoke about it and we decided we wanted to keep the baby but nothing more—or so he said,“ she narrowed her eyes jokingly at him before kissing his cheek. “A week later we were walking around the Met and we saw a bunch of sculptures by that one guy you like, the one from that museum we went to in Paris.”

“Rodin?” I asked.

“Yeah, and he just got down on his knee asked me. He had a ring but he didn’t think of measuring it,” she slapped his chest lightly, “so we have to wait for it to get fitted until I can wear it. After that we ate hot dogs by the steps, very à la gossip girl.”

“Felicidades Natalie,” my mom smiled, “I am very happy you have found someone you love and that you are going to have a little baby.”

“Thank you nina,” she hugged my mom, “we’re so happy, we want to get married as soon as possible.”

“She’s worried that she’ll be too fat to fit into a nice dress, which I told her not to worry about since she’s going to be beautiful either way. Besides, I don’t get it, every pregnant woman always wants to show off the fact that they’re pregnant. Natalie will do the same, just in a pretty white dress and while she’s marrying me.”

“I don’t want to be gross and fat nina, I’ve already started thinking about how much weight I’ll gain once I start showing. It’s going to be horrible. So I want to get married as soon as possible so I can keep my figure and I won’t be bloated for all the wedding pictures.”

“You will look beautiful Natalie, there’s nothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman,” Matthew said and Natalie smiled in appreciation.

“Thank you Matthew. Now I’m going to call Javier and ask if he’s cooled down enough so I can go home without him yelling at me,” she rolled her eyes and grabbed her cell phone from her pocket.

“Just stay here Natalie,” I told her, “I’ll talk to him and sort him out. He’s being a real asshole right now and I don’t want him upsetting you even more when you’re supposed to be the happiest woman on Earth.”

“Thanks Adri,” she smiled.

“Thanks Adriana, and thanks Matthew and Ms. Sandoval, but I think we’re going to go back to my place. Not as fun seeing as I live with Matt and he always has his girlfriend over, but we had talked about moving together soon. We were going to wait a bit longer but with all this happening it seems like the right time to move in together.”

“That’s good,” Matthew started, “you two are young and starting out your life together, living together is one of the many steps. It doesn’t matter if you do it now, in three months, or until after you’re married. You’ll be living longer a lot more time than what you would wait.”

“Exactly, we already figured we want to get married and Chris already spends so much time at my place, now’s as good a time as any.”

“That’s good then,” I smiled as they got ready to leave, even though there really wasn’t anything to ready since Javier had driven off with all their luggage and with Natalie’s oversized purse, “we should talk tomorrow and you can tell me everything about New York and the engagement.” I walked up to her and hugged her, “I’m so excited for you and you too Chris. God, we were talking about our future weddings since we were like ten. I’m so excited.”

“You should be since you’re going to be planning like half of it since you’re going to be my maid of honor,” she practically yelled the titled and I squealed.

“I am even more excited now,” I hugged her again.

“Yes well, you were pretty much the only person I thought of,” she said, “oh and we’re having a dinner slash party kind of thing in three days to tell everyone else that we’re engaged and that I’m pregnant and you obviously have to be there. I'll have my ring by then so it's the right time to do it. It’ll be Saturday evening so be there,” she turned to my mom and Matthew, “my parents are coming down from Seattle for it, so you guys are more than welcome to come to the dinner.”

“Yeah, come along,” Chris added, “it’s going to be at my house and we’re getting it catered so there’s no chance of this one poisoning us,” he swung his arm around Natalie’s shoulder and kissed her cheek.

“Hey,” she slapped his chest lightly and we all began walking towards the front door. “That’s not true, and if we’re going to get married then you have to get used to eating mac and cheese once in a while and not just take out like you do with Chris. Besides, I already told my nina she has to teach how to cook better.”

My mom nodded her head before hugging Natalie and congratulating her once more, “it’s going to be great Natalie, it’ll be the happiest day of your life.”

“As long as I don’t look fat and gross because of the baby then it will be,” she muttered and hugged Matthew.

“Well congratulations to the both of you,” Matthew said and pushed up his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. “”I’m sure everything will work out amazingly, now go off and enjoy your engagement.”

They both smiled and waved at Matthew and my mom as we walked down the driveway and towards my mom’s mini cooper.

“Have lunch with me tomorrow yeah?” I told her as I drove up Chris’ driveway, “come by the clinic at like 12:30 and we’ll head out somewhere and talk. Don’t ditch me,” I threatened.

“I won’t,” she asserted, “I have to tell you all the dirty details of the engagement,” she wiggled her eyebrows and I stuck out my tongue, “fine the PG version.”

I rolled my eyes and congratulated them again before I drove off and thought about how I was going to try and talk to Javier and stop him from being an asshole to his sister and future brother in law.