Breathe Me in Sweet Suffering

Breathe. Just breathe.

Not very easy when everyone was looking at you like they were expecting a show.

Our high school didn't have many students and thus was completely robbed for drama so I wasn't imagining all the looks. Some with pity but most were looking expectant. Something was guaranteed to happen today and no one wanted to miss the show.

Even I would have been a bit excited by something happening but unfortunately I was the main star.

No one wanted to star in a show with Chris. Perhaps Lexus would if the show had porn as head title but this show was more of the bloody kind.

Chris' shit list wasn't something anyone wanted to be on.

I had never been on it before as my role in Chris life was the annoying deathrock girl. He hated me but I wasn't someone he concerned himself with other than going the extra mile to make my life a little bit more painful. I had never been important enough to be on the shit list and for years I had thanked every godly entity that I could think of that Chris didn't consider me as an enemy.

Those days were over.

From this day on and until I moved I would on that very special shit list because Chris loved his grudges.

Like the guy that keyed Chris' car last year. He had lasted one month before he had decided that transferring to another school would be a very good idea. Possibly lifesaving even.

Peter had been one of the cool kids. Outgoing, handsome and one of the best football players with a cockiness that almost matched Chris'. A bit of a bully himself actually and yet he had crumbled like dry bread when faced with Chris' anger. I didn't have Peter`s courage nor did I have his social standing. No one would even try to stand up for me like they had done with Peter. Safe to say I was done for.

Dead girl walking.

Yeah that fit.

I took a deep breath and continued into the school trying to calm down while my heart seemed to want to beat itself out of my chest. I couldn't blame it. After all my brain pretty much didn't want to be in my body right now either. Not with the promise of pain hanging over me. Just look normal. Not like it's your last day on earth. Okay. I had to stop exaggerating. Chris wouldn't kill me right? Hurt me. Most likely publicly humiliate me. Scare the living daylights out of me. Try to make me cry.

I really really sucked at comforting myself.

"Hey Katt".

Despite my previous attempts of being collected, I whipped around terrified probably looking like a little rabbit facing off a wolf. Chris the devil himself was standing right in front of me, smiling widely. Oh god. Chris smirked at me. He smirked. He leered and he laughed but he never actually smiled, with his lip piercing move along with his black lips.

This could not be good.

"How are you?"

I was pretty sure I was doing an impressive in real life version of the cartoon jaw at the floor expression. What was this? What was he planning now? Smiling and asking me how I was? And staring at me like that? Like he was actually pleased to see me. It was downright creepy. I took a step back, twirled around and ran into the classroom. Not that it would help. This was unfortunately one of the classes I had with the devil himself. Chris walked in and I busied myself with the books doing my best to look really occupied while mentally praying. Please Mrs. Caella. Don't be late. Please don't be late. Of course I knew her presence would do nothing more than just postpone whatever I had coming but I really liked later better than right now. In fact never sounded pretty good but unfortunately that wasn't up to me.

"Move!"

Poor Theo almost fell over himself trying to get away from Chris and barely avoided missing the chair as he sat down as far away from Chris as he could. Chris sat down beside me on Theo's spot, stretching out his incredible covered black jean long legs looking like this was his normal spot in class and not in the back near the window. Oh great. And he was staring again. Blatantly staring and not even trying to hide it. It was creepy and I couldn't stop myself from fidgeting in my seat under his stare. Was this how prey felt when the predator was looking at it?

The whole class I had to work to pay attention to Mrs. Caella. And not once did he tear his eyes away from me. Shouldn't he be sleeping or something? He always slept through English class. Finally the bell rang and I jumped up. Unfortunately Chris was faster and stepped in front of me before I was finished packing.

"Can I carry your books for you?"

What the hell was he planning? Take my books and ruin them? No. If he wanted to do that he would just take them. Not ask first.

"Get lost!"

I swept past him and walked as fast as I could. Something that was probably a good idea after telling a guy who looked like he could break me in two to get lost. Unfortunately my pace couldn't compete with Chris' long beautiful legs. I mean long legs. Curse my shortness. Right now I would have given my right hand for giraffe legs.

"Why won't you let me carry your books?"

Gee Christopher. I don't know. Because you're an ass?

Luckily I managed to snap my mouth shut before that little bit leaked out. I had totally screwed myself over yesterday and there was no need to make it worse.I tried to take longer steps, so long that it hurt but Chris still didn't get the point and when I peeked over at him he looked like he was taking a relaxing stroll and not following me as I tried to make a discrete escape.

"Can I eat lunch with you today?"

What now? Eat lunch with me? What the hell was he planning? Was this his plan? Hang around me until I went insane from the fear of my impending doom? No. I doubted Chris could come up with something that genius. In his torturing of me he had always stuck to the original mindless hassling kids did when they bullied someone. He wasn't smart enough to even think about torture in the form of fucking with my mind. I hurried into the classroom and breathed in relief as Mr. Hennessey stopped him from entering.

Thank you god. This was luckily a Chris free class. He would come to his senses soon and start tripping me again. Or egg me. Anything was better than that creepy stare and that smile that made my skin crawl.