Lost, Then Found

Jacob’s P.O.V.

Leah got stuck patrolling twice as much to make up for Jared’s absence. It was a shock to all of us that she didn’t seem to mind. It was a whole new Leah, that didn’t take us long to get used to. I just wondered why the sudden change of heart. The few times I tried to get inside her head she would immediately block me out by strictly concentrating on what she was doing at the time, where she would patrol first. What was even stranger is she stopped obsessing over Sam & Emily’s relationship. She barely looked their way when they kissed. Ever since we all got the news of Emily’s pregnancy, she’d become best friends with Emily. It was as if she had imprinted on someone and forgot all about her heart break. If that was the case why wouldn’t she just tell us?

“What are you thinking about Jacob?” Leah asked as she walked up plopping down next to me on the porch. I didn’t even notice her walk up, too focused on finding out the source of her abrupt change in attitude.

“Do you want to know the honest truth?” I finally responded.

“No Black, I asked because I wanted you to lie to me.” She replied sarcastically rolling her eyes to emphasize on that.

I didn’t really know how she would take what I was about to say. Paul had been the hot head in the pack until he imprinted on Rachel, ever since then Leah had taken his place just until recently. Would she even open up and tell me what was going on? Leah and I weren’t exactly close, but she was part of the pack, forcing me to care. It’s worth a shot.

“I was thinking about you.” I said with a stack of bricks weighing my chest down. It was hard to tell what she was thinking. I kept my eyes straight, focusing on the raggedy shack I once spent all my time with Bella in. There was a faint touch of pain lingering in my heart as that thought crossed my mind. I was brought back to reality as Leah unexpectedly nudged me in the side. As I turned to focus on her I was confused by the smile spread across her face.

“I’m flattered, but you’re not my type Jake.” She replied jokingly.

The weight lifted from my chest and I too began laughing.

“Oh please, like I’d ever go for you.” I replied between laughs.

Leah stopped laughing and her face grew hard.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” I was cut off mid-sentence by her abrupt laughter picking up where she left off.

“Got ya.” She replied still laughing. I couldn’t help but smile. I liked seeing her like this, like I said, a whole new Leah. This was a first I had even seen her crack a smile, let alone laughing.

After she finally calmed down I decided to continue the conversation she started earlier.
“No seriously though, what’s going on with you?”

Her smile faded, but she didn’t look mad or irritated like I was so used to.
“What do you mean?” She replied, head cocked to the side.

“Come on Leah, don’t act stupid. Why have you been acting differently?” I said it as if it was a bad thing.

“I haven’t!” She replied sharply.

“Really, so your new found friendship with Emily isn’t acting different?”

“She’s pregnant; she could use the help around the house when Sam’s away tending to pack stuff.”

“I’m not buying it. Any of the imprints could help her, why do you insist on it being you?”
Her eyes started to swell with tears.

“Maybe I’m just trying to be better. I want to feel accepted in the pack. Not known as the bitch or Sam’s obsessive ex-girlfriend that he’s forced to deal with because we’re a pack of huge wolves, freaks.”

My heart broke. I didn’t mean for it to turn into an interrogation. I just wanted to understand.
“Leah, I’m sorry.”

“Save it Jake. I don’t need your sympathy, I didn’t need it then, and I don’t need it now.”

I was confused. “Need it then? What are you talking about?”

“Sam was my first love; I thought he would be my only love until Emily came along. I know he imprinted on her, I shouldn’t have blamed them, but I couldn’t help but to hate them even though I knew it wasn’t their fault. Then my father died, and I had no one. I mean, yeah, I had Seth and my mom, but that’s not the same as having a significant other there for you, holding you, and telling you it will be ok. As if my life couldn’t get any worse I transformed into a huge wolf. Not only that I’m in a pack where my ex is my Alpha making me, no forcing me to be connected to him for life. Other than my brother I was forced to hang with a group of people that all hated me.”

I couldn’t speak right away. I didn’t know what to say. I was still in shock that she told me all that. She was right though, she was put through a lot the past couple of years and no one was around much to help her. Then again it was her bad attitude that kept us all from trying,

“Leah I’m so sorry. I had no idea how hard it’s been for you.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to; you’ve been all caught up trying to win Bella over.” She replied sourly.
I didn’t know how to take her response, so I decided to brush it off.

“It may be too little too late, but if you would ever need someone to talk to I’m here.”

She looked at me stunned for a few moments, and then slowly let a smile make its way back to her face.
“Thanks Jake. I’ll hold you to that.”

As I walked to Kim’s house to let Koda out, I thought about my conversation with Leah. I felt bad for her. Being so wrapped up in Bella I didn’t notice her pain. Would I have noticed her if I wasn’t so in love with Bella? I wanted to believe the answer was yes, but I wasn’t sure. Why did I notice her now? It was hard to even admit it, but her new and improved attitude drew me in, and the talk we had yesterday was the icing on the cake. She told me everything and I liked being the shoulder she could cry on.

That half an hour took my mind off Jared and Kim, and the fact that I hadn’t heard from either one of them. Jared hadn’t phased since the day I asked him about disobeying Sam’s orders. Sam was no longer mad at the situation, he actually felt guilty after Emily yelled at him for doing it in the first place. She even made Sam look through Jared’s point of view questioning him about what he would do if it had been her in that building and someone ordered him to stay put. That’s what really got him. All the imprints were disgusted with him, even little Claire would stick her tongue out before running back to Quil and burying her face in his chest. It wasn’t until Emily found out she was pregnant that set things almost back to normal. We all watched the News religiously waiting to hear news about Kim and Jared as if they would pop on to the screen and say “Hey guys we’re ok, we’ll be home soon.”

We had to turn off the t.v. when Emily came around. She was already sad we still hadn’t heard anything; it wouldn’t be any good for her or the baby to stress out over the negativity that came from watching the news. They made it seem like the chances of finding a loved one was slim. Instead of giving us hope, we all felt doubtful. Jared loved Kim, and so did the rest of us. Even those who only met her briefly loved her, even if it was just because Jared loved her. I, on the other hand had a deeper connection with her, almost as strong as the one Jared had, only mine was the brotherly love. If I lost her it would be as bad as losing Rachel or Rebecca. Jared told me not to think like that, it’s not like I wanted to either. I had let reality sink in, I had to prepare myself for the possibility, I would not be blindsided like I was with my mother.