Lost, Then Found

Kim’s P.O.V.

Pregnant.

I’m pregnant. The doctor’s confirmation of Jared’s statement replayed over and over in my head. Six weeks to be exact. How did I not notice a skipped period, or the slight bump that was beginning to form? I was going to be a mother and had no time to prepare for it.

There once was a time where I had dreamt of this day. The day where I would lay in bed with a swollen belly as Jared waited on me, as he kissed my stomach and whispered to our unborn child how much he already loved him or her and would do anything he could to protect them from the world. It seemed so long ago now. To be honest, with everything that’s happened I wasn’t sure I wanted this baby right now. Now that I knew about everything I was already afraid for this innocent child.

It wasn’t just the possibility of him or her leading the same life as their father, a wolf born to protect the Quileute Tribe from vampires. There was so much more I was worried about. Ever sense I could remember there was always someone there for me to depend on, my adoptive parents, Shianne and her parents, Eli, then Jared and Jacob. I soon would have an innocent life depending on me. I could barely take care of myself, what am I going to do once the baby is born. I didn’t know the first thing about being a mother; I never had a stable example.

Jared had yet to say anything since the doctor’s appointment which made this even worse for me. What would I do if he didn’t want this baby? I can’t see having an abortion, killing an innocent life. I don’t think I could handle giving him or her up for adoption. I’d always know that a part of me was out there somewhere. I also knew I wouldn’t be able to raise this baby on my own.

I quietly sat on the living room couch continuously rubbing my belly thinking over everything. Jared was somewhere off in the kitchen. As time passed it only got more awkward. There were times Jared would come into the room and sit for a few minutes and look like there was so much he wanted to say, but didn’t. I wanted to know what was going on inside his head, but could not find the courage to ask him.

After a few more times of him walking in and out of the room he finally broke the silence. “Do you need anything?” He asked as he looked me over for a few seconds then looked out the window.

“No, thank you though.” I replied, and he nodded in response. It wasn’t really a conversation, but it was something.

The silence returned and as the clocked ticked I was so filled with curiosity and questions that I finally decided to be the one to start the conversation. I took a deep breath and pushed my nerves to the side. “Are we going to talk about this?”

Off in the distance was a howl that sent Jared to his feet and at the front door within seconds. Before he disappeared through the door he turned slightly to look back at me, “we’ll have to do this later. I have to go.”

I closed my eyes and nodded in response. “I love you.” I whispered, but when my eyes fluttered open he was already to the tree line. As much as I hated feeling weak and vulnerable I couldn’t hold back the tears that fought their way through and rolled down my cheek.

The door creaked as it opened. I nearly broke my neck as my head shot up hoping to see Jared standing in front of me, but it wasn’t. I whipped the remaining tears rolling down my face and forced a smile.

“Kim what’s wrong? Do I have to get Jacob to kill Jared?” Shianne asked as she sat beside me on the couch.

A genuine laugh left my mouth. “No.” Was all I could reply.
Shianne’s smile faded and I already knew where this conversation was about to go before she even opened her mouth.

“Seriously though, you look like you need to vent so what’s up?” Shianne asked.

I sighed as I contemplated about telling her. “You’re going to find out sooner or later so I guess I should be the one to tell you.” I hesitated.

“Tell me what Kim?” She eyed me up with a suspicious face.

“I’m pregnant.” I replied bluntly.

Shianne’s eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped. “Oh my god Kim! Congratulations! I’m going to be an auntie.” She shouted as she bounced up and down on the couch clapping her hands. “I’m so happy right now.” She shouted until she looked over and saw the absence of excitement on my face. “But you’re not? Why aren’t you happy Kim?”

“I am happy.” I whispered looking down at my belly in an attempt to avoid making eye contact.

“You know you can’t lie to me, so tell me what’s running through your pretty little head.”

“Shianne I don’t know if I want this baby. I don’t know if I want that responsibility right now. I’m scared for this baby and it hasn’t even gotten here yet. I feel absolutely alone in this and that’s not how it should be.” I let the words flow from my mouth like water from a faucet.

“What do you mean you feel alone? You have Jared. Kim he loves you more than air….”

My outburst of laughter interrupted her. “Ha, yea he loves me alright. That’s why he’s been lying to me right? He knew I was pregnant and didn’t tell me until now. Maybe he was trying to get back at me for the whole Embry thing.” Shianne looked at me in shock. “Oh yeah, he knows about that. He overheard me talking to you. He loves me so much that he wouldn’t let me explain. I was on the floor, crying, begging him to stay and listen to what I had to say, but did he? No, because he loves me, right Shianne? After coming back from the doctors he barely looked at me. His little pack meeting came at the right time; you should have saw how fast he jumped up and rushed out of here. I told him I loved him before he left, I just wanted a sign from him, something from him that would let me know he still cared, but do you think he said it back? No! He was already phased and at the treeline.”

“Kim, Jacob took off running too. I’m sure it had to be an emergency otherwise he wouldn’t have taken off on you like that.” Shianne reached an arm over to touch me, but I moved back.

“You’re sticking up for him?” I asked through gritted teeth.

“Kim I’m not sticking up for him. I just know Jared wouldn’t do that to you. Kim he’s a good guy and he loves you.” Shianne said smoothly.

“You’ve known him for two seconds and all of a sudden you’re an expert on how he feels and what he would and wouldn’t do to me?”

Shianne opened her mouth to say something, but then quickly closed it. She studied me as she took in a deep breath, and slowly let it out. “Ok Kim, I’m going to blame that little outburst on the mood swings. You can call me when you’re done acting like a bitch.”

Jared’s P.O.V.

Immediately after I phased my head was immediately filled with thoughts concerning Kim.

“How’s Kim, is she ok?” I heard coming from Embry.

“What’s wrong with Kim?” Jacob thought.

“I’m so excited to be an Uncle.” Seth chimed in.

“First Emily, now Kim. Can’t you guys keep it in your pants, or at least wrap it up?” Leah added jokingly.

“Aw Leah be quiet! It’ll be nice to have little ones running around here. Claire’s so excited about being an auntie. She’s hoping for a little girl so she can dress her up and do her hair.” Quil added.

“Way to go man! I’m glad you were able to release your players before I interrupted.” Paul laughed.

“You got my cousin pregnant?” Jacob chimed in once more.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” I growled in response to everyone.

“ENOUGH!” Sam broke in. Everyone finally shut up and focused their attention on our alpha. “WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ON PATROL LAST NIGHT?”

“Embry and Jared.” Seth answered.

Sam searched the crowd until his eyes landed on Embry and me. He shot daggers at us. “You two were too busy fighting to carry out your responsibilities.”

Embry and I both remained quiet as others asked questions such as what happened, and what’s wrong? “Ease up Sam, besides the Cullen’s we haven’t had any vampires show up around here since the fight against the newborns.” Jacob said in our defense.

Sam’s head snapped in Jacob’s direction and glared at him. “No, but it appears that your friends the Cullen’s managed to flee over the night when these two were supposed to be patrolling.” Sam returned his glare back to us.

“YES.” Seth thought full of relief as everyone’s eyes turned to him.

“It worked! I can’t believe it worked. Thank you Em.” Jacob replied and Embry nodded shyly in return.

Sam was fuming as he looked around at those who were in on the little secret that left the rest of us confused. “What’s going on?” Quil asked the question that the rest of us were thinking.

Jacob stepped forward with his head held high. “Planning to kill Bella was wrong, so while you all were busy doing that Embry, Seth, and I had plans of our own. We used Jared and Embry’s beef to our advantage. The little fight that went down between the two gave the Cullen’s just enough time to get Bella out of here before you all made your move.” Jacob said proudly.

Sam and Paul both growled. “You’ve betrayed your pack and your people.” Sam shouted.

“They’re gone. What’s the big deal?” Jacob shot back.

“You have betrayed us.” Sam repeated. “You can’t be trusted.” Sam turned and looked at the rest of us who stood there shocked. “Thanks to the betrayal of your pack brothers you all will be running double shifts to make up for them.” Sam ordered. Everything went red and my blood began to boil as a growl erupted from me, I wasn’t alone.

“Sam that’s not fair to us.” Leah whined.

“It’s not, but I won’t have those who I cannot trust in my pack.” Sam replied back to Leah’s comment.

Pain shown through Sam’s eyes as his next sentence fell from his mouth. “You have 24 hours to get out of La Push.”

“If we don’t?” Jacob questioned.

“You don’t want to find out.” Paul growled.