Gallant

The sun was set higher in the sky and there were more cars out on the road. Sam was blabbing on about basketball, the topic about his odd dreams forgotten.

Nearly forgotten. As he was talking I was thinking. So many questions became part of my thoughts. And as Sam parked at the front of the school those thoughts completely took over.

“What’s your problem? Get out of the car.” The sound of someone knocking on the glass window woke me. “Quit being such a dunce, Ellie.”

“Sam?”

“What?” He said distractedly. There were some guys at the front of the school that I didn‘t recognize. He waved to them and they waved back, beckoning him over. “Look, Ellie, I’m going over there with my friends so would you mind taking my books and putting them in my locker? The combination and number are written inside my English notebook. You’ll find it easy.” He handed me a stack of heavy books and started to walk toward his eager friends.

“Isabella.” He stopped. His foot hovering in mid-air. He put it down gently and his shoulders dropped.

“Ellie, I don’t want to talk about that any-”

“Well I do.” He looked me straight in the eyes. His blue ones blazing angrily. The sun cloaked him and he looked like he was glowing. I let out a deep breath. The group of boys that were waving to him earlier were looking this way. Were they expecting something dramatic to happen between us? I kept my voice low so it wouldn’t travel to any other ears besides Sam’s.

“Are you scared of Isabella? Those few weeks that you saw her did you ever feel intimidated or uncomfortable? Did you ever feel that something wasn’t right?”

“Forget it, alright? I was dumb to tell you anything. I…I just somehow felt that you could help me with this. Quit thinking so much about it, ok? This isn’t your problem so don’t continue thinking you could solve it. Leave it be, Ellie.”

There was a slight breeze at that moment, making Sam’s bangs lift up and try to follow. His hair looked almost gold-like in the sun. The color of his eyes froze up and it brought a picture to my mind of a frozen lake years ago in a winter so cold that the memory made me shiver. Isabella. Sam said she was cold just like winter.

What was happening to me? Back there in the car when Sam parked it to the side of the road and mentioned her I had a feeling the moment he said her name that she wasn’t someone kind. But how sure was I of this?

Though I may have been focusing on answering that question there were still others. Why Sam? Why does he suddenly not want to speak of it? What do I make of these dreams of his? Then I remembered where I was an who with. I focused myself again finding Sam gone. I was standing alone, I must of spaced out. I looked over where the friends of Sam were previously standing, they were gone too. I walked over to a pine tree and laid down using my backpack as a pillow. The sky was very blue today, the air smelled fresh, and the shadow the tree cast on me felt refreshing on my hot face. Today was going to be another warm one.

It wasn’t like he hasn’t done this to me before. A few weeks ago when he came over to my house to study he did the same. I was gone for two minutes the moment I came back he was gone. I looked outside, the car was gone as well.

Why stay with him? I thought. What am I gaining by staying and getting my feelings hurt constantly. I could do it right now find him and tell him in front of his friends that I was done with him. Tell him, yell maybe, how sick and tired I am of always feeling lonely and how I though that he would change that. Was that it? Is it because I feel lonely. It can’t be just because I don’t want to deal with all the drama that would follow this, right?

Gosh, why am I so weak? I constantly feel like at any moment the wind is going to break me. If only I had the courage to lean towards it. I wonder how Sam would deal with it. I chuckled silently to myself, now wanting the group of girls on the other tree to hear me, Sam would probably throw me in front of him so the wind wouldn’t hit him. I can’t make any assumptions, but I bet my left arm that Sam has never felt lonely.

It was time to get up and stop brooding over everything. That’s it. Smile, Ellie. Just pretend. You’re an actress and this is your platform. During classes smile, laugh, pretend. Nothing happened, it isn’t your problem, so please him by following his orders. Between classes carry his books, like a slave.

“You’re Ellie, right?” I turned around to find the girls that were besides the tree when I was lying down looking at me. The girl to the left, a brunette, looked me up and down, she was crinkling her nose. I looked down at myself, lifted up my hands and pretended to inspect them. “Well, will you look at that, I guess I am Ellie.”

The girl who talked to me was very blonde. Her skirt came only to her thighs, it was a navy blue and it had a little heart sowed on the bottom right corner. Her shirt was very tight on her, I wondered if she had trouble breathing with that thing. Her eyes were a hazel color, her forehead was small and she had very sharp edges on her delicate face. A small pink bag hung from her shoulder. When she spoke it sounded high pitched. I refrained myself from walking away. My manners kicked in and I was forced to stay while trying to ignore the nose crinkling brunette when she began whispering to a short plump friend.

The blonde spoke again. “So you’re Sam’s girlfriend, right?

“I guess you can say that.” It doesn’t seem like I would though. I decided to not say that to this girl and her friends.

“Oh my gosh, you’re so lucky!” Her friends nodded. “So how is he like? He always seems so charming.”

I really didn’t know how Sam was really like when he actually loved someone. How would I know? “He’s nice and like you said very charming.” I lied.

“You’re so lucky,” she repeated “if only I had a boyfriend like him. He’s so…so…”

Handsome, beautiful, he reminds you of the sky when he looks at you and I mean really looks at you. When he’s being ignorant his eyes remind you of a crisp cold morning sky or when he’s happy do you imagine the ocean?

“Hot!” one of her friends finished her sentence.

The blonde nodded her head. “Yes!” Typical. I gave a little sigh. It could only be someone like me who would think like that of Sam. He may be “hot” but there are other more descriptive ways of showing me that you like my boyfriend, dear blondie.

“Oh my gosh! I’m Amanda. I always see you during lunch sitting all alone but then between classes and before school I see you two together and so I wondered.”

“Oh my gosh! Nice to meet you Amanda…” I said, copying Amanda’s tone. I saw the nose crinkler cover her mouth with a creamy white hand. The other’s were oblivious to my mocking.

“Look, Ellie. If you like you can come and sit with us during lunch and maybe, who knows, we can become friends.”

“No thanks, Amanda, but I like sitting alone. It gives me time to think.”

“Think?” Amanda tilted her head to one side.

“Don’t strain yourself…” I though no one would hear me but obviously someone did when I heard giggling. It was the nose crinkler. I left, leaving the group to gossip and giggle. They would continue talking until one of them noticed that class had started.

The lockers were a forest green and the walls were covered in posters and pieces of paper. They were promoting either a club or some social event to raise money. I got on my knees and tried the combination on locker number 234. By the third try I forced it open. I neatly stacked the books on top of one another. On the inside there were pictures. The more I looked I began to notice that there wasn’t one picture of me. Bands, bands, sticky note, some friend of Sam’s I didn’t know the name of, a picture of himself, I stopped at that one and peeled it off the locker wall. I unzipped my backpack and dropped it in, ‘it’s not like that’s his only one’, I told myself.

The halls were crowded, with both students and noise. I walked towards my first class. My eyes traveled away from those hundreds of faces and down to my worn shoes. I talked to no one and no one spoke to me.

You could say it was my fault that no one did, who wouldn’t side with Sam? But I give and will not argue. Let Sam think what he wants.

I walked into the quiet of my first hour. I sat at the very back, in a secluded corner where no one paid me any mind.

I took out a book and opened it up to somewhere around the last pages. When I read I became absorbed into this new and most exiting world. I was at the part in which the main character was in battle with the ruthless villain when something sounding close to a gunshot sounded right by my ear.

“You dropped your jaw, Ellie.” said a suave voice.

“You dropped your brain, Sam. And would you please not do that. Those textbooks are school property and shouldn’t be used in such a manner.”

He picked up the book chuckling to himself. “You’re such a nerd. So what is that you’re reading?”

“A book.” I said

“I see.” He stayed quiet for a while. I continued reading. “What is it that you really want to ask, Sam?”

“It’s not a question…More like a favor…”

“Alright, shoot.”

“You’re not going to--”

“No.”

A look of relief washed over his face. He sighed and lowered his voice, “Thanks a lot. I can trust to know that you’re not going to tell anyone.” The bell rung and Sam quickly gathered his books and backpack. He left without even a goodbye.

‘As if I have any interest in telling anyone your fantasy story, Sam.’ I thought. That boy sometimes really makes me angry. Never enough to hate him. No. No one ever hates Sam.

*****************

The school day ended as fast as it had started. I gathered all the materials I would need for the homework I had this evening.

I immediately began to sweat as I walked out into the sizzling afternoon sun. I looked over to where Sam’s car was parked at the front of the school, profoundly hoping that he would be there looking the part of a hero ready to save this damsel in distress from the heat but then I remembered he had basketball practice. So a very sweaty me walked to the bus stop that didn’t even have an inch of shade anywhere in sight. It was lacking in people too.

Everyone had a car. Everyone but me. Some of them had old rusty cars to drive or in Sam’s case a smooth sleek one with leather upholstery and AC. I glanced towards his car, still slightly hoping that maybe the coach had a heart attack and they had to cancel practice, but no the car was as empty as this bus stop.

I hate the heat.