Give 'Em Hell, Kid

Slamming the front door behind me didn’t help to vent my frustration. Pure red blooded rage was swimming in my veins, leaving no room for any sort of coherent thought other than how much I hated Mr. Collins right in that very moment. The fact he thought I was capable of hurting Alexia in any way infuriated me more than his idle threats. Surely everybody could see how much I loved her, how much I adored every freckle on her face and every strand of hair on her head. She was everything to me, and I would do everything in my power to make sure she never came to any harm, especially from me. If I thought having her in my life would hurt her, I would let her go. I would try, at least. My whole life revolved around Lexi, and there was no way in hell I would do anything that would destroy that. If Alexia was in pain, I was too. When she was upset, I felt it; in order to ensure my own happiness, keeping Alexia safe was in my interest. I was at my happiest when Alexia was happy. The hypocrisy of his words licked at my anger too; the sound of his open palm against Alexia’s cheek was ringing in my ears. How could he accuse me of hurting her when he could strike her without any remorse?

I shoved my hands into my pockets as I increased the frantic pace of my walking. The anger I felt at Mr Collins actions was equal to the hate and disappointment I felt at myself. I had stood there as he took his frustration out on Alexia. He struck her while I was frozen in shock, unable to respond fast enough to stop it. I should have protected her; I should have defended her. While I knew Alexia would have been pissed at me if I had reacted as violently as I wanted, I would have felt justified. By just standing there I had given him reason to believe that I was unable to protect her. Maybe he was right, maybe I wasn’t good enough for her. I would change that though. I would do everything in my power to show him that I was the only person who was worthy of her. I had never thought much about Mr Collins opinion of me. While he had always intimidated me, I never had reason or cause to believe that he didn’t like me. I had been in Alexia’s life for so long I had assumed I would have his approval if things worked out with Alexia. I hated to admit it, even to myself, but having Mr Collins cut me down as though I was nothing more than some random boy from school hurt. For all I knew, he could be talking to Alexia right now, telling her that she wasn’t allowed to be with me. I dreaded the outcome if that was the case. Alexia was a strong, opinionated person but in spite of her earlier claim of having no respect for her father, she was a daddy’s girl at heart. He was the only parent she had and she wanted his approval. She didn’t need it, and would do what she wanted whether she had it or not, but she still desired it. Would her desire to please her father override her rebellious side? This was much more than sneaking out at night, or going somewhere she wasn’t allowed to go. This wasn’t a little teenage rebellion. She would be openly defying him, something she hadn’t done until today at the police station.

I was keenly aware of how badly my body was aching after everything that had happened today. I had woken up with a belief that things were finally going in my favour; I had been so certain that I had finally won Alexia’s heart. Now, my body was bruised and sore, Frank was in hospital, and I felt like I might lose Alexia again. I didn’t want to doubt her after what I heard today; I knew she loved me. That didn’t mean I wasn’t naive enough to think that it would conquer all, and all the highs and lows of today was making it hard to see anything in a positive light. The thought of going home was just the icing on the cake; with my father home, I knew that I wouldn’t be getting off lightly like I would with my mother. It didn’t matter that I was defending my friends from a couple of dickless jocks; my father would still believe I was in the wrong. Somehow, he will find a way to make it my fault. I could just call over to Ray, or hide in the tree house, but I knew there was no point in avoiding the inevitable. I would be facing my father no matter what; the longer I left him to stew the worse it would be. Every stone that got in my way bore the brunt of my frustration with a swift kick, but it didn’t ease the trepidation and anger. The shaking had stopped by the time I reached the front door, and I could only hope it would stay that way.

I opened the front door, and my ears were immediately hit with the sound of the TV. The house was warming in contrast to outside, causing me to shiver as I adjusted to the change in temperature. I headed straight for the sitting room, knowing my father would be waiting for me. I wasn’t disappointed when I found him slouched on the couch with a beer in hand. He appeared relaxed and at ease, but I was certain he was seething underneath. He didn’t acknowledge my presence at first, so I stood patiently and waited for a sign to tell me what I should do next.

“Sit down.”

I was confused by how normal he sounded. I had expected to be faced with my father’s wrath and to see him so calm and collected left me on edge. Every muscle in my body had tensed under the strain of the pressure. He didn’t even look at me when I took the seat beside him. His eyes remained on the television, but I could tell he wasn’t fully focused on it.

“I’m proud of you, Gerard.”

My body stilled in shock, and if he hadn’t turned to look at me when the words left his mouth I wouldn’t have believed he had spoken them.

“You stood up for yourself and your friends when they needed you. That’s not something every man can say. How you react to situations like that shows the kind of man you are. You did good.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. They were the words I longed to hear, but something about them didn’t feel right. There was a slight edge of resignation to his tone, even though his face remained impassive.

“You should go to bed. You had a rough day.”

He dismissed me with a nod of his head, obviously done with his father son bonding. It was never his strong point, and the minuscule bit of praise I’d received was worth a lot from him. I obeyed automatically, heaving my tired body off the couch. I had taken two steps when he spoke again.

“A little bit of advice Gerard. Mr Collins is a ruthless man, especially when it comes to family. I don’t know what’s going on with you and Alexia but, whatever it is, just be careful. The only thing more dangerous than a woman scorned is her angry father.”

I rushed upstairs, locking the door behind me. I leaned against the door, feeling like I could breathe again. My room was my fortress, the only place in the world that was truly mine. I could think properly when I was here. I took in a few steady breathes and forced my muscles to relax. Today had been the worst, and in some ways best, day of my life, and I had no idea how to feel about anything that had happened. It was too much to take in properly, especially when it felt like every part of my body was aching, including my brain. I needed sleep, and a few hours of unconsciousness to absorb everything. I flung myself onto my bed face down and fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.