Give 'Em Hell, Kid

Alexia didn’t talk to me at all that afternoon, instead preferring to talk to my mother. My mother loved Alexia, and the feeling was definitely mutual. My mother thought of Alexia as the daughter she never had and enjoyed taking her out shopping and on girly days out. In return Alexia got the maternal affection she sorely missed. She never spoke about her mother and I was too scared to bring it up but I knew that she missed her, or perhaps missed what she represented.
I knew I was in trouble when she decided to do homework after dinner instead of hanging out with me. I tried to distract myself by drawing out my comic book idea but my mind wouldn’t let me focus, not while Alexia was in the living room secretly plotting revenge on me. I had to make it right but I didn’t know how. To be honest I didn’t feel like I had done anything wrong but once Alexia put me in her bad books she wouldn’t be satisfied until I grovelled on my knees or found some other way to make it up to her that would result in my humiliation. I couldn’t explain to her exactly what I had heard about Darren because I knew she wouldn’t listen to me, not when she believed my motives were anything but sincere. Granted they weren’t, but she had no way of knowing my motives were two fold. Losing my temper was the worst thing I could’ve done.

​​​I had to think of a way to stop her from going to Homecoming with him. My gut told me he would ask her, if he hadn’t done so already. That thought made me grit my teeth in anger and clench my fist, almost breaking the pencil in my hand. If she was determined to go I couldn’t stop her, nothing could change her mind once she had it made it. I could get someone else to take her but it would be the same problem at heart. I didn’t want her to go with anyone but me.

​​​Why shouldn’t I take her?

​​​The thought came unbidden, my body breaking out in a cold sweat as a wave of fear shivered down my spine. The fear of rejection had always held me back before, but now that fear could potentially push her away from me and into the arms of someone else. I knew I needed to grow a pair and just do it, but whenever the thought of asking her raced through my brain my throat would dry up and I was unable to make a sound. If the thought of asking her could turn me into such a wreck how would I ever be able to ask her?

​​​Mikey stomped into my room, closing the door with a little force that showed he was still angry about my actions earlier. I felt bad but the fucker shouldn’t have tried to wind Alexia, and by extension me, up.

​​​‘So, what’s up your ass?’ he asked in a cold voice as he sat facing me on the bed, his eyes narrowed in an effort to make me feel intimidated by him. It failed but the fact that he was angry enough to want to intimidate me was bad enough.

​​​‘Nothing Mikes. I’m just pissed off, Mondays blues and all that. Sorry for yelling at you earlier, it was uncalled for.’

​​​I hoped the apology would be enough to appease him but alas he wasn’t satisfied.

​​​‘Bullshit. You’re pissed off about that Alexia is texting some guy. I know you’re in love with her dude, everybody does except for her. You need to grow some balls and man up before you lose her. She won’t wait around forever.’

​​​With that dramatic impassioned speech he left my room to leave me with my thoughts. How did he know? Was I that obvious? Shit, if he knew that meant Alexia might have caught on. If she did why hadn’t she said anything? Did she feel bad about the inevitable rejection I would face, or was she hoping my feelings would go away? Mikey said she didn’t know but she was a smart girl, even if she was oblivious to the obvious at times. Maybe he underestimated her knowledge of the situation as I had.

​​​I knew I was panicking as the thoughts of my feelings being exposed made my breathing quicken and my skin moist with nervous sweat. Maybe I was over thinking things. I was positive she was completely oblivious to the fact her Father wasn’t a ‘business man’ as he claimed. They were obscenely rich; their house was practically a mansion with lots of land around it. Alexia hated it, the big house reminding her that she was often alone with no one but Jonathon for company while her father was away on one of his ‘trips’. He spoiled her rotten to compensate, and whenever he was home he would treat her like a princess. My father usually went with Mr. Collins; they were close work colleagues and friends. I was certain they were CIA agents, but whenever I asked my father about it he would avoid answering the question, telling me my imagination was overactive. She never saw the signs though, too wrapped up in her day to day life to see the bigger picture. I was slightly envious of that ability, it seemed to make her more carefree and open to whatever life threw at her. If she couldn’t see that surely she couldn’t notice how I felt about her?

​​​Mikey’s words was on repeat in my mind, his voice in my head agitating me as it tried to tell me the fucker was right. Deep down I knew he was. If I lost Alexia it would be completely my own fault due to my inability to be a man and ask her. I knew if I let her go I would regret it fort the rest of my life. That was a risk too big to take.

​​​I stood up, my back rigid with determination as I put my sketch book down and went to find Alexia where I last saw her in the living room. I quickly marched down the stairs, my anxiety making me want to get the humiliation over and done with. As expected she was hunched over her geometry book, concentration on her face as she tried to figure out the problem. She looked up when she felt my presence, glancing at me fleetingly before ignoring me and paying attention to her homework.

​​​‘Alexia?’ my voice came out weak as I swore my heart was about to burst through my chest.

​​​She ignored me, as she always did when she was angry at me.

​​​‘Alexia?’ I spoke again, my voice even more strained than before. This got her attention as she looked up at me, concern on her face as she studied me with her piercing green eyes.

​​​‘What’s wrong?’ she asked, her anger forgotten in her worry.

​​​I opened my mouth, trying to get the words out but my throat seized up.

​​​‘Gerard, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?’

​​​‘Willyougowithmetohomecoming?’

​​​‘What?’ she hadn’t heard a word I said, my brain disconnecting with my mouth in its rush to say the words before my cowardice overcame my new found courage.

​​​‘Will you…will you go with me? To Homecoming?’

​​​Her face fell, paling slightly as her green eyes stared at me in shock. I knew I shouldn’t have asked, I knew it would only end in humiliation-

​​​‘Okay.’

​​​The single word answer stopped my train of thought as my eyes widened in surprise.

​​​‘What?’ I choked out, not believing what I heard.

​​​‘I’ll go with you…if you want.’

​​​Her voice was thin and barely audible as her face turned red, her eyes looking at the wooden floor of my living room instead of at me.​Was it possible she liked me too? Maybe she wasn’t the only one who was oblivious.

​​​‘I want to.’ I managed to speak as my whole body began to tremble with the realisation of what just happened.

​​​I had finally done it. I had officially asked Alexia out and she said yes. I couldn’t help the relieved smile that grew on my face as I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

​​​‘Can you help me with this? I can’t figure it out.’

​​​Just like that, Alexia went back to normal as though we hadn’t agreed to go out together. I knew it was her way of trying to relax me and not make a big deal of what had just happened.

​​​‘Sure.’ I replied, copying her and acting as though our relationship hadn’t taken some giant leap forward. Her hand shook when I sat down beside her and took her pencil out of her hand. That little give away of her feelings gave me the proof I needed to know I did the right thing. I sat a little closer to her, noting with pleasure that she started shaking slightly with nerves as she continued to blush and avoid eye contact.

​​​Maybe she felt the same way about me after all.