The Boy From Hot Ice

My mom said she'd meet me on campus since the last leg of her flight was ending with seeing the Hollywood sites. She'd meet me on campus, and she had big news for me.
I knew what the news was. She and Scott were getting married. I knew it had to be that because what the hell else could it be? Another surprise trip around the world for two years? I acted like I was oh-so-excited about the "surprise," but I wasn't. I wasn't excited about much at all, actually.
I stood before the mirror in my cap and gown, practicing my walk and smile and walking in my new stilettos. And suddenly it was 6. Time to become an adult.
Jeremy offered to drive with me, but he had a family to celebrate with, and I told him he should enjoy that. I zipped into that parking lot proud as pie, and I walked into that school for the last time.
I wanted everything to go by as quickly as possible. That way I could go home, get a good night's sleep, and start packing to leave the next weekend. But when I walked in, I saw Jeremy, like he was waiting for me or something, standing in the foyer in an outfit that should have been easily lost in this crowd. But I saw him. And he saw me.
He hugged me close and I kissed his neck when he did. "Congrats, Patch," he smiled.
I wiped away a tear as I stepped back from him. "This is so embarrassing!" I sobbed. "Oh my god!"
He reached his fingers up to my eyes and wiped away the mascara that had started to run. "You're fine," he smiled. "You're perfect, okay? Just chill, it won't be long before it's over."
He held my hand, unafraid to do so even though we weren't dating anymore. we walked together silently, ever so close to ach other's side, and entered the backstage area of the auditorium together. We only stood five people apart, and every time a name was called we would look to each other, reminding ourselves of the impending moment.
When my name was called, I remember being so very relieved that high school was over. Finally I could close the book on those our traitorous years, and I could look forward to college and a new city and new friends. I crossed that platform, received my diploma with the obligatory smile, and descended those steps into a new life. And once I sat I looked up just in time to see Jeremy. As he crossed, his family stood, all of them, extended members as well as his parents, and they cheered loudly and riotously, and he shook his fist and stuck out his tongue at them playfully. They were so proud of him. And there I sat. Alone.
He sat down in his designated spot, but then urged everyone between us to move over so he could be next to me. "We did it, Patch," he smiled with a whisper.
"We did it, Renner," I smiled back. He leaned back and casually tossed an arm around my shoulders as we sat beside each other. Mrs. Smith was telling him to go back to his seat, but he laughed and told her he wasn't her student anymore.
He was such a punk sometimes, but he looked at me like he was a little puppy dog, playfully begging for a treat or beckoning for a romp in the park. I found my hand resting on his knee and he looked at it, then looked up at me in a state of almost surprise. His hand then slipped over mine, and we were almost snuggled together for the remainder of the commencement.
I was thoroughly confused by this position we were in together. People who are just friends don't act like this, do they? They don't cuddle into each other and sit together in this fashion and look at each other the way we did. We were stuck in some sort of warped universe between friendship and something more. We loved each other but we weren't in love. At least, I didn't think we were.
There was a party at Peck's house afterward, and we all showed up for the festivities. There were more booze bottles there than were needed to drown an army, and an hour into it most of the guests were too drunk already to have any fun.
"Wanna come over to my house?" I asked Jeremy, seeing how he was still on his first beer and still standing, unlike almost everyone else.
He smirked and nodded. "What do you think?"
We ran across the street into my home, but not before grabbing a case of beer and a bottle of Grey Goose. Like giddy children we entered the house, laughing and looking behind us to see if anyone saw. We traveled to the living room, and I opened the vodka, pouring some into a tall glass of fruit punch. Jeremy grabbed a new bottle of beer for himself, and we stood facing each other for a moment before he spoke.
"To the best friendship that ever was," Jeremy toasted, raising his glass, "And the best friend I've ever had."
We clinked our glasses together and began to drink, finally sitting down next to each other on the couch.
"We are great friends," I said. "We are really, really great friends, aren't we?"
He smiled but continued to drink silently.
I leaned back into my seat and gulped my entire drink. When I looked at Jeremy, his eyes were wide with surprise.
"You must be thirsty," he laughed. "Another?"
"Mhm," I nodded, "But I'll get it."
"You mind if I smoke in here?" he asked.
I smiled back at him. "I don't give a fuck. It's not like It's my house."
He lit his cigarette while I sat back down. "May I try one?" I asked.
"You sure?" He pulled another from the pack and placed it ever so gently in my mouth. Lifting his lighter to the tip, he looked at me like he'd never really looked at me before.
"To love," I said, recovering from the haze. "And to water being thicker than blood."
We clinked our glasses together once again, and after he took a sip, he set his hand on my knee just as it had been earlier that evening. "I'm sorry your mom didn't show up," he said.
"I'm used to it," I told him, grabbing another beer for him. "It really doesn't even bother me anymore."
"It has to, though," he said. "I mean, it's the biggest day of your life, and she wasn't there. Doesn't that hurt?"
I didn't answer because I couldn't. There was some sort of lump in my throat that prevented me. I took another hearty gulp of my drink before setting it on the coffee table.
"We need music," he said, jumping up and darting for the stereo. "Really? Records?"
"My mom likes vinyl," I told him. "Don't judge her just because she's living in another decade."
He chuckled with me before choosing a Dean Martin record. "This one work for you?"
"Sounds like a party," I joked.
He played the record, and "You Belong To Me" came on first. "May I have this very drunken dance?" He asked sweetly, extending his hand. I accepted of course and we began to sway side-by-side, cheek to cheek as we slow danced to the music.
Out of nowhere, a voice I hadn't heard in such a way before sang softly over Dean's. Jeremy was singing along with the words, singing them right into my ears, and I don't think he really realized how they sounded to me. These were words I don't think he meant to say. Words he only said because they played in a song, and he was singing along. Still he said them, and I listened as I rested my head on his shoulder.

I'll feel so alone with out you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too and blue
Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember 'til you're home again
You belong to me

I walked over to the record player and shut it off. Silently I set my hands along the rim of the stereo box, leaning over it.
"You okay?" he asked as he approached me. "You feeling sick?"
I didn't answer. I didn't know what to say.
"What's wrong?" He put his hand on my shoulder, but I pulled away. Then he did it again, turning me around so he was facing me. "Why are you crying?"
"Am I?" I reached a hand to my cheek and touched the wet drop. "Oh, I guess I am..."
"What's wrong? Have you had too much to drink?"
"I'm not drunk, Jeremy," I told him. "At least, not too drunk to know what's going on."
"Not too drunk? Okay, well, let's stop drinking for a while. Come sit down."
He led me back to the couch, and he sat me down before he fetched a glass of water for me. "Drink this. Want coffee?"
"I told you I'm not drunk," I said calmly. "That's not the problem."
"Then what is?"
I looked into his eyes, so blue and innocent in spite of the image he'd been trying to portray. "Oh, Jeremy," I told him pitifully, touching his cheek, "I love you so much."
"I love you, too."
"We need to break up."
"Okay, well now I know you're drunk, because we broke up a month ago."
"No, I mean, we need to actually break up. Like none of this 'best friends' shit either."
"It's not shit," he said. "We are best friends."
"Yeah, but that means something different to you I think. I mean, you put your arm around me, hug me, hold my hand, dance with me, sing to me, kiss me... does that sound like just friends to you?"
"When did I kiss you?"
"Right now," I said, placing my lips on his, my hand on the back of his head, holding him there for a moment as I kissed him in a passionate fury.
He pulled away for a moment to look at me, puzzled, wondering probably what made me do this. I think he was about to speak, but he changed his mind. He came forward to me this time, pressing his lips with mine, his tongue tasting my lips, my mouth, my tongue. He slipped one arm around me and the other underneath me and carried me to the bedroom upstairs. Not the one I'd been sleeping in, but the one he had always known as mine.
Laying me on the bed, he wrestled with his shirt, pulling it off of his head and then returning to his position over me. His hands combed through my hair as he laid over me, and without words, we began to have a very serious conversation. I pulled my skirt up to my waist and reached for his pants, and as we were just about to begin, he stopped me and looked me in the eyes.
"Let's just run away," he said. "Let's just run away and never look back, you and me."
I bit my lip as I looked up at him. "You could never leave your family," I told him.
"I could do it for you," he told me as he kissed my chin, then my neck. "I could do anything for you."
I reached my hand down to grip him, and the look on his face as he closed his eyes told me how much he enjoyed my touch. He pushed himself against me, and he looked into my eyes once again. "Come on, what do you say?"
"Are you serious?" I asked.
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
I could always tell the difference between when he was just saying something and when he was serious. He was serious.
"Jeremy, I have college."
"You don't need it. You've got money. I'll get a job if you want."
"It's not about the money, Jeremy," I told him. "It's about making my dad proud."
"But... your dad's dead."
I couldn't believe he'd say such a hurtful thing to me. I pushed him away, rising and traveling down to the living room. He followed shortly after, and I handed him his things.
"I didn't mean it like that, Liz," he said. "I just meant it doesn't really matter, does it? I'm sure your dad would be proud of you no matter - "
"You don't get to talk about my dad!" I yelled as I opened my door. "Just get the hell out of here."
"Liz, please..."
"No!" I cried. "Go!"
He left without saying another word, but I could see how upset he was with himself.

The morning I left was one of the worst moments of my life. I was leaving town, and there wasn't a single person who gave a flying fuck.
I knew Jeremy wouldn't show up that morning. Originally we toyed with the idea of driving down together, but we hadn't spoken to each other in a week now, and I figured it was probably best that we didn't speak again.
It wasn't supposed to be a very long drive to college, but it felt like 3 days. Every song - every single goddamn one of those things - reminded me of Jeremy. Even ones that weren't exactly relevant to our situations. Music in general reminded me of him. It was his life.
Mom was there with Scott and I was happy to see her, though I could have done without him. They helped me to my room, telling me to sit down because they had a very special announcement to make.
I knew what they were gonna say. She wasn't exactly hiding that apple-sized diamond on her hand, so garish it was, and she sat so close to him I could have puked.
"Sweetie, Scott and I have decided to get married," She told me.
"Congratulations," I told her, acting like I meant it.
She hugged me, and he tried to, and I smiled as I sat wondering why they were still looking at me like that.
"And... you're gonna be a big sister!" Scott announced.
Now this was a shock. And also... eww.
"You're little brother or sister will be along in about 6 months."
They said a few things more that really didn't matter to me, and then they left me to set up, promising dinner that evening. Out of habit I looked for a phone. I ran down the hall until I found one in the common room.
I picked up the phone and dialed the number. When a familiar voice answered, I spoke up.
"So, you'll never guess what my mom just told me," I said.
There was a moment of pregnant silence. "Hey, Patch," Jeremy answered. "Tell me all about it."