Nightingale

His lips were on my neck, pressing down on the spot that he knew I loved. The tips of his fingers pressed into my sides as he held me in place. The feeling of his body on top of mine was so familiar, something that I hadn't realized I missed so much. His slightly chapped lips trailed down to my chest as his hands began to push up my shirt.

"God, I've missed this," he whispered. "I'm so glad we're doing this again."

My hands grasped his shirt as he continued to kiss my chest. He peeled my shirt off, then kissed further down my stomach.

"It's been too long," I breathed out.

Our clothes scattered across the room, being strewn on various items in my room. "Where's Ellie?" he murmured.

"Asleep," I replied.

Our lips met as soon as I said that and his entered me slowly, but just as he did, the doorbell rang to my apartment.

"Ignore it," he told me, our bodies still forming as one.

The doorbell rang again. "Fuck," I groaned, "Joel, I have to get it. It's John, he's picking up El."

His head fell to my chest in defeat as he stopped moving his body. I knew he was upset. It was the first morning we had spent together since he got back from tour, where he was gone for two months.

We both put our clothes on quickly and I kissed Joel. "I'll go wake up Ellie and make sure she's packed," Joel told me as he kissed me again.

He walked into Ellie's room while I went to the door. As soon as I opened it, I smirked at John. He stepped in, his hands going to my waist as he put his lips to mine. I pushed on his chest, my eyes wide as I looked around.

"Joel is here," I whispered to him.

Instead of stepping away like I figured he would, he leaned down to kiss me, pushing himself into my body. Before it could go too far, thankfully, we heard the sound of little feet and I immediately pulled away, just in time as Ellie rounded the corner. She grinned as she ran towards her father, jumping on John in a hug. He caught her effortlessly and kissed her forehead.

She giggled as she wrapped her little arms around his neck. "Baby girl, did you grow? You look two inches taller!"

Laughing again, Ellie shook her head. "You saw me four days ago, Daddy, I didn't grow!"

"Baby, did you finish packing your bag?" I asked her. She smiled but shook her head. "Go help Joel finish your bag, okay? I'll make sure Daddy knows about our new rule."

She pouted her little lips and frowned. "But Momma..."

I raised my eyebrows at her and she nodded while John put her down. She trudged to her room to help him get her things together.

John looked at me with a questioning glace. "What new rule is that?"

"No sweets for two more days because she snuck into the pantry the other night and ate a whole box of cookies and was sick the next morning."

He laughed, which made me roll my eyes, but laugh as well. It was exactly something that our daughter would do, which we also knew she got from the O'Callaghan genes.

"When can I see you again?" John murmured softly. His right hand brushed back some of my hair.

Pursing my lips together, I shrugged. "Joel's back, John... these past two months were... they were wonderful, but we... I don't think we can keep this up."

"Savannah, when we kissed after Ellie's birthday that night, I know you felt it, too. I know you felt what I feel. And we've felt it the whole time we were seeing each other while Joel was on tour. It was like old times."

He leaned down to kiss me again and I stepped back. "John, you leave for tour this week... I can't keep doing this with you, especially because I'm with and I love Joel, and with what happened when we were together and you were on tour."

Before I could reply, Joel and Ellie walked in the room with Ellie's bag dragging behind them.

"You ready to spend the weekend with Daddy?" I asked Ellie as I leaned down to kiss her. She grinned and nodded while hugging me. "Remember to call me every night before you go night-night, okay, baby?"

She rolled her little eyes. "I know, Momma, I know. I love you."

"Love you, too, baby."

I looked up at John, who was smiling at me. "Can we talk about this more later, Savannah?"

"Of course," I told him.

He said goodbye to me and gave Joel a nod goodbye, since he still wasn't too fond of Joel. We stood there watching as John and Ellie walked to his car. He picked her up, which surprised her, and she giggled as he swung her around.

"He's a really good dad to her," Joel observed. "I never would've guessed it to be John out of all of us that would be not only a father, but a great one at that. He's really wonderful with her, Sav." I nodded, watching as he strapped her into her car seat in the back. "I can't say I'm mad that he was an ass to you, though, because then I wouldn't be with you."

Joel turned me to face him, then let his lips fall to mine. Suddenly, every thought about John and our terrible but wonderful affair slipped from my mind. I turned to shut the door, just in time to see John give me a sad look as he drove away. But Joel kissed me again, and all was forgotten, because Joel never cheated on me. He never would. I loved Joel with all my heart and he loved me. He was a wonderful person with Ellie and he was an even better boyfriend to me.

~

Four years earlier

My eyes were low as I tried to keep the tears from falling down my cheeks. I swallowed before looking up. John was holding Ellie, our newborn baby girl as he kissed her little head. He was whispering to her, even though she had no idea what he was saying. She was smiling, though, like she often did. He kissed her forehead, then set her down in the pink bedding of her crib. I could see the smile on his face, but when he looked up, he frowned as he saw the tears on my face.

He walked over to me and grabbed my hand, then led us out of her room. I cracked the door and walked to the living room with him. John placed his hands on my face, using his thumbs to rub away my tears.

"Don't cry, angel," he whispered to me. "Put a smile on that beautiful face for me, please."

Instead of replying, I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I love you, John."

"Oh baby, I love you so much," he told me. "But I'll be coming home. I'll come back to you and our beautiful baby girl. I'll come back to our family."

He pulled me closer to him. "You better," I murmured, which made him laugh. "I'm going to miss you so much. And so is Ellie."

"She won't even know I'm gone," John said softly, then he frowned. "She won't know I'm gone..."

I pulled away, placing my hand on his cheek. "She still loves you, regardless, John. You're her father. And you won't miss much, anyways. Just a lot of pooping and eating and crying and sleeping."

"I'll miss all of that... I'll miss our baby getting bigger. And you'll be doing it all alone."

After shaking my head, I kissed him. "I won't be alone, our families are going to help. And I'll send you pictures all the time."

Before John could reply, Garrett poked his head into our apartment. "John, we have to go, van is here." He disappeared again right after.

More tears fell from my eyes as I realized he was really leaving. "John," I murmured, falling into his arms again.

"Oh baby, I love you."

"I love you... so much. I'm going to miss you more than anything."

He kissed me. "I'll call you as often as I can, Savannah, I love you. I love you. I love you."

I kissed him again, over and over again. "Don't leave me, John," I whispered softly. "Stay with me."

"I wish I could, baby. But one day, it'll be just us, forever. Just you and me and Ellie and any other children we have together. It'll be us forever."

~

"It'll be us forever," Joel whispered, pressing a kiss to my forehead as he hovered over me. "I love you, Savannah."

I smiled as I recalled the memory from when John had first said that me, when he was leaving for tour right after I had Ellie. But it wasn't John saying it to me, it was Joel. It was the boy who had never hurt me before. It was the boy I had loved for the past year. He loved me for me and all my flaws, and he accepted my baby girl and he loved her as his own.

Joel was good for me. John was not.