My Forever Girl

Naira’s P.O.V.

I found myself not remembering much of anything from the past two days. I’d remember diving into the ice cold Pacific to save Ms. Call, and I’d remembered being saved myself, but after that it is a blur; most likely due to the medication I’d been given for the pain.

Surprisingly today I felt good; minus the dull aches and pains that were present when I got out of bed and made my way over to the mirror. The first thing I noticed was the cuts on my face that had already begun to scab over. Next, I lifted my shirt to reveal the black, blue, green, and yellow bruises that covered my once caramel colored skin. I sent a silent “thank you” to the spirits for looking over me that night; I knew how lucky I was to be alive.

I grabbed a fresh pair of clothes and headed to the shower. The warm water felt good on my sore body; it was also nice to wash my hair. I stared down at the sand that had been caked in my hair as it swirled down the drain.

I’d stayed in the shower until the water turned ice cold, making me exit the shower before I was ready to. I slipped on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. I combed through my hair a few times before I just gave up and threw it into a messy bun.

My stomach growled as soon as I opened my bedroom door; I was instantly greeted by the smell of Mama’s cooking. Mom and Emily were in the kitchen doing what they did best, cooking for the pack.
Mom smiled as soon as I stepped into the kitchen, “You look refreshed”.

“I feel like it”, I replied, taking a seat at the counter. I grabbed one of Emily’s famous muffins and began freeing it from its wrapper.

“Are you sure you should be up and moving around”, Emily asked, setting another pan of muffins in the oven to bake.

I nodded as I swallowed the chunk of muffin I had in my mouth, “I’m fine, but if it’ll make you feel better I promise I’ll take things easy”.

They both nodded, and then returned to working on preparing the food. The room was completely silent which lead me to wonder where everyone was. There was always one or two of the boys around trying to snag some food before everything was officially ready.
“Where is everyone”, I decided to ask.

My mom and Emily both looked at each other, almost as if they were telepathically playing “Rock, Paper, Scissors”; loser had to tell me the bad news.

Mom stopped what she was doing and let out a soft sigh before turning to me, “They’re all at Tiffany’s funeral”.

My stomach churned; suddenly I felt like throwing up the muffin I had just devoured. My tears began to spill over and stream down my face. How could I have been so naïve to assume she had been saved too?

“I’m so sorry honey. I know how much you loved her”, my mom came around the counter to wrap her arms around me.

I brushed her off coldly, “If that’s true than I don’t understand why no one told me her funeral was today”.

“We thought it would be best for you to focus on getting better. You’ve been through so much; we didn’t want to dump this on you”.

“NO”, I shouted, as I stood up, tipping the stool over as I did. “I should be there. I NEED to be there, for Embry”.

My mom followed behind, “Honey, Embry understands…”

I grabbed her keys from the hook, “No, I need to be there for MY WOLF. He will not go through this alone”.

The pain shot through my whole body as I quickly wobbled to my mom’s car. I tried not to think about it so much; instead I focused on getting the hell out of here. I spun the wheels as I backed out of the driveway and headed towards the Cemetery.

I arrived sooner than I would have liked. A lump in my throat formed as I saw a surprisingly large group of people gathered around the casket. All eyes turned to me for a few seconds as I approached the group; then returned their attention back to Quil who was sharing memories from when he and Jacob would spend the night over by Embry’s house.

I took my place next to my father who frowned disapprovingly. “Shouldn’t you be in bed”, he whispered.

“I’m where I’m supposed to be”, I said, leaving it at that and giving my full attention to my Uncle.
Tears began spilling from my eyes as Quil finished up his speech. I couldn’t stop from thinking about how much I missed her already. After Quil returned to his place next to Claire, the question was asked if anyone else cared to speak. Glances were exchanged amongst each other, but no one else raised their hand to volunteer.

All eyes locked on me as I squeezed past people while making my way to the front. Almost all of the people in the crowd were my friends and family so there should be no reason for me to feel as nervous as I did. The feeling got ten times worse the moment my eyes locked with the deep brown pair that was five feet in front of me. Embry was physically there, but mentally he was on a whole other planet, that much was evident.

“I can’t believe she’s really gone” I started, saying it more to myself than to the crowd. “Ms. Call was one of the strongest women I know. I know she didn’t have the easiest life raising her son all by herself, especially in a town that treated her and her son as an outsider, and kept her in the dark. For others that would have been enough to break them, but her, somehow she seemed to shine brighter and come out stronger”, I paused before I began stumbling over my words. “I’m sorry”, I choked out, trying to keep the fresh tears from falling. “If she was here now she’d be telling me to dry these tears”. I wiped a few tears from my face before I turned around to face the casket, “I’m not really great at the whole “good-bye” thing as I’m sure you already know”, I frowned at myself, knowing Embry and Mika weren’t the only ones I’d failed to say good-bye to before I left for college, “so I won’t say it”. I kissed the tips of my fingers and gently touched them to her casket, “until I see you again”.

The crowd slowly got smaller and smaller as the ceremony came to an end. There were a few outsiders lined up to talk to Embry, but other than that it was just family standing around talking, “Hey Naira, you made it”, Claire called as she and Quil came walking up to me.

“Yea, a little heads up about her funeral would have been nice”, I replied bitterly.

She bit her lip and shamefully looked down, “I’m sorry Naira”.

“No I’m sorry”, I sighed, “It’s not your fault. I guess I’m still in shock over everything”.

“Hey”, she whispered soothingly as she wrapped her arms around me, “I know it may not seem like it now, but things will get better. Until then, I can think of someone who’s really going to need you, so you have to try to be strong”.

She was right, I needed to stop acting like I was the only one affected by this, “How is he”, I asked, looking at Quil.

“You know Embry, he’s good at masking his emotions,” he replied with a shrug, “I honestly don’t think it’s even hit him yet”.

My eyes drifted to Embry. He was going through the motions of thanking everyone for coming. It wasn’t hard to see how uncomfortable he was; all of a sudden made center of attention when he’s so used to floating around in the background of everything. “I should go see him”, I said to Claire.
I felt her gentle hand tug me back, “Are you sure that’s a good idea”?

“Why wouldn’t it be”?

She rolled her eyes and turned her head just slightly towards the direction of where Embry stood. Chelsea of course was all over Embry. The sight of her using Ms. Call’s death to get closer to him was disgusting, she truly had no heart. I could feel my anger boiling just beneath the surface waiting to come out, but right now was not the time. It helped cool me down when I watched Embry gently push her away as he thanked the next person in line.

“Problem solved”, I replied as I turned back to face Claire, “besides, I’m perfectly capable of biting my tongue. Today is about supporting Embry; I wouldn’t dare disrespect him or Ms. Call by starting drama”.

“You’re not the one I’m worried about”, she replied before her and Quil left.

Jacob and Shianne were the last to leave as I approached Embry. It was difficult to see him this way. To everyone else it would appear that he was fine, the way he stood tall in front of the casket, but I could see how hard it was for him told hold back the tears. The reason why he stood there with his hands tucked away into the pockets of his pants was so no one else could see them trembling.

“Hey”, I said softly as I placed my hand on his arm, “Embry I can’t tell you how…”

“Sorry”, he said before I could finish my sentence.

“What”, I asked confused.

He remained looking at the casket as he spoke, “You can’t tell me how sorry you are for my loss. I already know, that’s all I’ve been hearing all day”, he paused, and his face grew hard, “the funny thing is about half of the people that have been telling me that are the same people that once made comments about my mother and I behind our back. Why were they even here”, he asked between gritted teeth.

“Embry I’m s..”, but I stopped before I said the one thing that would surely set him off even more. “Forget about them, the only thing that matters is that your family is here for you… I’m here for you”, I whispered the last part.

“I know”, he replied softly. A few moments of silence slipped between us. My mind was racing trying to figure out what to say next, I mean, there was so much, but now was certainly not the time to reveal it all. Before I could figure out the right thing to say, Embry spoke again, “It means a lot that you all came; especially you, but I think I just want to be alone for a while”.

I nodded my head, “I understand, but Embry”, for the first time since I approached him he turned to look at me, “I want you to know that you don’t have to go through this alone. I want to be there for you. When you’re ready, you know where to find me”. I ended, kissing him on the cheek before turning around to leave.

I find it crazy how just over a year ago I was lying to myself saying that I would rather be anywhere but here; and now, I hate myself for not being here. I hate myself for not spending more time with Ms. Call. I hate myself for not being there for Embry the way he was always there for me. I hated not being by his side right now. I can picture him, somewhere alone with just his thoughts, I personally know how dangerous that can be, but what can I do if he doesn’t want my help?

“Wow Naira, sweats and a t-shirt? That’s not exactly funeral clothes, but then again I always knew you were trash”, Chelsea grabbed my arm and spun me around so I was facing her.

“Not now Chelsea”, I replied. I didn’t have the fight in me to go back and forth with her.

“I think now is the perfect time”, she smiled. “You know, what you said up there about Ms. Call was beautiful. I would’ve easily believed it if I didn’t already know the truth”, she replied with a grin.

“Whatever”, I replied, turning around to continue my walk to the car.

I only managed to take a few steps before she grabbed my arm again, “Let go of me. What the hell do you want”, I shouted, but that only excited her more to see that she was getting to me. I needed to get myself under control.

“I just want you to know the truth about what happened that night. Everyone else around here babies you, but as you know I don’t like you so I don’t give a damn about your feelings”.

“I’m leaving”.

“So you don’t want to hear about how this is all your fault. If it wasn’t for you Ms. Call would still be here today”, she paused, and giggled. “I bet that’s why Embry can hardly stand to look at you”.

Her words stopped me in my tracks, “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT. I WAS TRYING TO SAVE HER”, I screamed as I turned back to face her.

“That may be true, but if it wasn’t for you jumping in to attempt to save her Embry wouldn’t have had to make the toughest decision of his life; save you or his mom. Now every time he sees you he’s going to think of that.. What a bummer, that’ll sure put a damper on things”, she laughed as she walked away.

My legs gave out as I crumbled to the ground. She was lying, she had to be; right?