My Forever Girl

Jayden’s P.O.V.

The sun was finally rising, so now I was actually able to see the dirt road I was traveling on that seemed to lead to nowhere. We’d been traveling on this old dirt road for a little over four hours and it still didn’t seem like we were getting any closer to civilization. I was beginning to wonder if my mother even remembered the way back home. She and my grandfather had a falling out when she was 18 and she hasn’t been home since; that was 23 yrs ago. The only thing I ever knew about my grandfather was that he is some well-respected Shaman on the Navajo Reservation; he wanted my mother to follow in his footsteps, but she had other plans for her future. I doubt being a single mother was a part of that plan; I bet she wished she would have stuck around here now.

The constant buzzing of my phone letting me know I had another message was starting to get to me. I knew it was Naira, and I felt bad for not answering, especially after that argument we had. Although I called and apologized, I still felt bad about the way I talked to her.

Every time I tried answering the phone my mother would slap my hand and tell me to keep my eyes on the road; like there was so much to watch out for here in the middle of nowhere. After about an hour of the constant calls coming through my mother picked up my phone and began looking at the missed calls, “who is it that keeps calling you Hashke’ Yit Naabaah,” she asked, calling me by the Navajo name she gave me after my father left us. She refused to call me by the name my father gave me; instead I became known as Hashke’ Yit Naabaah which meant the warrior who fights with anger.

“It’s my girlfriend”, I answered back.

Even though I was staring straight ahead I could still feel her eyes boring holes into me. “I had no idea you had a girlfriend”.

Of course she didn’t, how could she when this is the first time she ever paid me any attention since the day I was born. “That’s because until just recently you never took an interest in my life”.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that after your father left us”, she began.

I rolled my eyes; here we go again. “He’s been gone for 20 yrs, when are you going to stop using that as an excuse”? I hated talking to my mother that way, but it’s about time she let it go. I never could understand why she held on to someone who clearly wants nothing to do with us; I mean, I don’t even know the man and I hate him.

She quickly wiped the tears away from her eyes, “you’re right. I should have been a better mother to you”.

I couldn’t disagree with her statement; but instead of agreeing with her I chose to stay silent. There was no point in making her feel worse than she already did; what’s done is done, all we can do now is move forward and try to repair this broken mother and son relationship.

“So tell me about your girlfriend”, and just like that, the tension in this small car disappeared. I could feel the smile pulling at the corners of my lips as I thought about Naira. I remembered the day I first met her; she was standing around campus looking completely lost, but beautiful as ever. I knew the minute I saw her I had to make her mine.

“She’s incredible”, I blurted out.

My mother laughed, “give me details Haske’ Yit Naabaah”.

“Where do I begin”, I whispered with a sigh. “She’s beyond beautiful, she’s incredibly smart, funny, and she has this feisty side to her that I can’t help but love; even though she sometimes comes off as “daddy’s spoiled little princess”. I’ve been with a lot of women, but she’s the only one I’ve ever felt this way about. She makes me weak, but also gives me strength; if that makes any sense at all. I’m in love with this girl”.

My mother smiled approvingly, “Does she feel the same way about you”?

I knew this question would be coming and I wasn’t sure how to answer it. I knew Naira loved me, but it wasn’t the same way I loved her. Every time I think I’m getting close, she pulls away; it’s like something is keeping her from truly loving me. I couldn’t understand why though, I could be exactly what she needs if she’d only let me.

“Your silence is all the answer I needed”. My mother replied with a frown.

“What do you mean by that”, I asked.

“Son, if you have to think about it that hard it’s clear she doesn’t feel the same way”.

“She does love me”, I paused, then whispered “she’s just not in love with me”. Naira is holding back; I could see it in her eyes and feel it every time we kissed.

“You’re just like your father”, my mom whispered with a frown.

“What do you mean by that”, I asked, turning to look at her.

“Nothing.. Nevermind.. Keep your eyes on the road; the turn should be coming up”.

Naira’s P.O.V.

The ride to Port Angeles was a silent one. Claire didn’t push me to talk, and though I was grateful for that, I almost wished she would. The silence only led me to think about Embry, the more I thought about Embry the more I wanted to go home, and I’m just not sure that’s the best thing right now. If I did go home there were so many broken relationships I’d need to fix, I just wasn’t sure I was up for those challenges quite yet. I also didn’t want to confront these feelings for Embry that were suddenly resurfacing.

“Is it ok if we eat first, I’m starved”, Claire asked, thankfully cutting into my thoughts. I nodded in reply as she pulled up to Peak’s Pub. As if on cue my stomach growled at the smell of burgers and French fries.

“Oh hey look, Naira’s back in town”, a voice called over the music that was playing in the place as we walked in. Claire and I were suddenly greeted by Chelsea Whitewater; the older sister of Christina Whitewater or also known as the two bitches that used to pick on me in high school. If anything could make my day go from bad to worse it would be running into her. Chelsea has always had a crush on Embry, but any time she worked up enough courage to ask him out he gently let her down. Somehow she always came to the conclusion that it was my fault, so she’d always take her anger out on me.

“Nice seeing you Chelsea”, I replied with a roll of the eyes as I tried walking past her to get to a table.

She stepped away from her table, blocking our path. “Claire, I’m a little surprised to see you away from your old man, and by that I mean your boyfriend. What’s the age difference between you two again”?

Claire has never been ashamed of her and Quil’s relationship, but Chelsea had a way of getting under peoples skin. Claire looked away, cheeks flaming red with embarrassment as her business was being announced to half of the Pub.

“Oh Chelsea, are you still bitter about Embry rejecting you”? I asked, cutting in to take the attention off of Claire.

For a moment I thought I could see steam shooting out of her ears, but then a crooked grin appeared. “Actually, since you’ve been gone Embry and I have gotten a little hot and steamy a couple of times”.

Her comment caught me off guard and she knew it. She looked back at her table of friends with the biggest smile on her face. I regained my calm and looked back at Claire, “That explains why Embry’s been looking ill, he must have caught something while messing around with the rez slut”.

A couple of Chelsea’s friends let out a chuckle, but a quick glare from her shut them right up. She stepped up so close I could smell the alcohol on her breath, “what’s the matter Cameron, are you jealous? I know you were obsessed with him back in the day; always following him around”.

“Get out of my face Chelsea”, I growled between gritted teeth.

“Or else what; are you going to run home and tell”… I let my anger get the best of me. I shoved her away from me, but the girl was so drunk she wasn’t able to regain her balance and went crashing into the table that her friends were sitting at. I told her ass to get out of my face, but she didn’t listen, as far as I’m concerned my actions were justified.

Instead of sticking around just to get kicked out, Claire and I went over to First Street Haven for our lunch. The waitress came and took our orders and quickly left to place them. “Thanks for sticking up for me back there; my mind completely went blank.” Claire replied shamefully. I could tell she felt guilty about not sticking up for her and Quil’s relationship.

“Don’t mention it. Chelsea’s a bitch, she always has been and she always will be” I replied, I was still a bit agitated from the confrontation with the queen bee.

As hungry as I’d been before, I only took a few bites of my burger before I pushed the plate aside. I must have lost my appetite after hearing Chelsea’s comment about her and Embry. As much as I shouldn’t care, I did, and I couldn’t help but wonder if there was any truth behind what she’d said.
I didn’t have to ponder on it long, “you know what she said back there isn’t true”, Claire replied.
I just shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to let on how much of a relief it really was to hear that. I shouldn’t be feeling this way; Embry is free to see whoever he wants, we are not together.

“Oh come on Naira, I know it bugged you to hear that”, Claire said, putting down her food to stare at me.

I avoided making eye contact; hoping she would drop it, but that’s just not in Claire’s nature. I prayed I could trust Claire to keep what I was about to expose, to herself. I took in a deep breath and finally laid it all out there in the open, “It did bother me,” I admitted, “but it shouldn’t. I have a boyfriend; I shouldn’t be jealous if Embry chooses to move on”.

“So why are you” she asked with a quirked eyebrow and a sly grin.

I took a few moments to really think about it before answering, “A part of me never stopped loving Embry. When I left and met Jayden those feelings for Embry were a lot easier to ignore; but being back here and seeing him”, I sighed, “they’re coming back stronger than ever”.

“So why did you ignore them, why did you run away from us”?

“I thought it’d be easier. You were imprinted on when you were small, how did you handle everything”?

She thought a moment before answering, “It helped that I wasn’t told I was an imprint until I was of age. Did I have a crush on Quil when I was younger, of course, but that’s all I thought it was and that helped. You on the other hand were told all of this at 16; that’s a lot to take in at such a young age.”

“Exactly”, I interrupted before she could finish. “Do you know what it was like for me after that day? Somehow word got around town about the little beach incident from my 16th; you don’t know how bad I was teased during school. Even now, what would people think if”..

“That’s what you’re worried about? Who cares what people think Naira”.

“You’re right, I shouldn’t; but part of me does. I’m worried about what people would say about Embry if we were to get together”.

Claire laughed like I made a joke, “I’m pretty sure Embry can handle it. It wouldn’t be the first time people have made comments about him behind his back”.

It was true, Embry’s dealt with stuff like that since the day he was born. Everyone had been so damn curious as to who his father was, like it was any of their damn business. I slumped back in my seat, feeling the weight of my own comment related to this subject. I was no better than any other person who’d made a comment about it.

I shrugged my shoulders, “It doesn’t matter anyways; I have a boyfriend. A great boyfriend in fact, and I can’t hurt him”.

“So what you’re saying is you’d rather hurt Embry instead of some guy you just met”?
Not Claire too, “Don’t do that”!

“Do what”, she asked, folding her arms.

“Belittle my relationship with Jayden. He’s a really good guy and I do care about him”, I replied.

“You’re right, and I’m sorry for that,” she paused. “I can see you care about him, but you don’t love him. If I can see that how long do you think it will take before he figures it out as well? What are you going to do when he gets tired of waiting for you? You can’t continue to ignore your feelings for Embry; they’re not going to go away. Believe me; I dated other guys before I knew I was Quil’s imprint. No matter how much I liked the guy, I could never commit to them”.

“I appreciate your thoughts on the situation, but I need to figure things out on my own”, my words coming out a little more harsh than what I had intended.

She nodded, “Fair enough”.

I dug in my purse and placed a few bills on the table to cover the check before asking, “Can we go”?

“Sure, so where am I taking you”?

“Home”, I replied.

A wide smile appeared on Claire’s face as she grabbed her keys, “I’m glad you decided to stay Naira”.

I could only hope she wouldn’t be the only one to feel that way once I got back.