Wake the Dead

The music was blasting, I could feel it pump through my body with each beat. I had a beer in my hand as I swayed back and forth dancing in the crowd of people, I felt like I was a teenager again.

I had come here with Trey, since this was his good friends party, but he had disappeared with some guys and maybe even some girls. I tried not to think to much about the girls, I wanted Trey to have fun and relax, he's been taking care of his mom for weeks now.

I'm not sure what song was playing, but it was some pop/rock song that blasted in the house. All the lights were off besides a few in the kitchen and some multicolored ones by the music player. I heard footsteps behind me, then hands were on my waist and someone was trying to grind into me. I looked back and didn't recognize the face so I tried to walk away, but he pulled me back to him by my hips.

I knew most of the guys here, so I felt kinda comfortable, but there always was some new guy that wondered into the party like this one. I realized I wasn't going to be getting out of this one easy, so I bent down a little making it look like I was going to grind back into him. I heard him let out a chuckle at me giving in, but before he knew it I flew my head backwards and head-butted him in the nose.

He let go of me and backed up a bit. "Bitch!"

I snorted at him. "I'd rather be a dog than a pig." I said to him with a sarcastic smile and then walked away. I noticed across the room that someone was watching me, it was Daryl, he was sitting on the couch sipping his beer. The guy next to him had some girl in his lap and was frantically trying to get his tongue inside her mouth, it was gross to watch.

I hadn't talked to Daryl since him and Merle hid out at my house a month or so ago and he probably was only here so he could drag Merle's ass home. He looked away once I caught his gaze, but I just walked over to him and plopped on the couch next to him. He was wearing a plain white tank top, dark jeans, and had one arm draped over the top of the couch. He had bags under his eyes, like usual, and his hair looked like it was getting darker from his dirty blond color. He looked good.

I saw him once me over and then he looked at me. "Classy." I said pointing to the guy and the girl next to him. He grunted and took another sip of his beer. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes off of him. I felt a little drunk and I hoped that I wouldn't remember what I was about to do in the morning.

I sat up and put one leg across his lap, and another on the opposite side, pretty much straddling him. I sat down right above his crotch and watched as he tensed up and had a shocked looked on his face. I got closer to his face, "If you're gona do that, then at least make it look good." I whispered, talking about the people next to us.

He gave me a confused look and held his hands out, not comfortable enough to put them on me. I leaned my face completely down and crashed my lips to his. He was shocked at first, but started kissing me back a little. I dominated this kiss and slid my tongue into his mouth and held my hands on his chest, it was rough. I kissed him for a little, but was interrupted by my beeping watch, I had the late shift at our tattoo parlor.

"I gotta go." I whispered after I broke the kiss and started to climb off him, noticing the bulge in his pants. His face was still completely shocked as the guy next to him hit his arm and gave him a thumbs up. I walked out of the house with a smirk, maybe I drive him just as crazy as he can drive me?

----------(End of Flashback)

I woke up to a pain in my stomach as I tried to roll over onto my side. I hissed a little, but then gave up and laid flat on my back again. It seemed to be early in the morning and Daryl was still dead asleep. His arm was draped across my stomach as he still laid on his good side.

I didn't dream about the baby, the creepy guy, or even anything that went down yesterday.. I dreamt about Daryl. I actually had a good dream, because of Daryl. But as I looked over, I noticed Daryl was still shirtless and I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat from looking at him.

He had definitely lost some weight and gained some muscle, not that he really even had much weight to loose in the first place, but it made his muscles pop out. His arms and shoulders made me feel weak as I looked at them and I tried so hard to not touch him. I let my eyes bounce around his body and then stop at his chest.

His faded six pack was starting to become a little more visible and muscular. His body was tanner, which made his tattoos that he got at the shop I worked at, stand out. I remember the day he came in and got the devils on his back; he had seemed a little off, maybe drunk? sad?

I could see the beginnings of his scars on his back peek over his side. Some where long and purple-ish, while others where small and in odd shapes. I sighed and looked up at his face, he had a light baby snore and his hair had gotten a little messed up through the night because of the bandage around his head. He was imperfectly perfect.

I snuck out of the bed slowly and quietly before I ended up getting all hot and bothered. I slid my combat boots on and didn't even worry about tying them. I quietly exited the room, not wanting to wake Daryl, and headed to look for someone in the kitchen.

I saw Hershel sitting at the table and I made my way over. "Hey, uh- Hershel?" I asked him when he looked up at me and raised an eyebrow. "Do ya think I could take a quick shower? Then I'll be outta your hair for good." I tried to ask nicely because he had made us stay in tents in the yard, so he obviously didn't want us roaming around in his house.

He took off his reading glasses and looked up at me. "Yes, but make it quick. And, I'm going to need your help moving Daryl to his tent after." I nodded and then started to make my way upstairs.

I got inside the bathroom and waited to turn the shower water on because it was going to take me a while to get my clothes off. I wiggled out of Daryl's shirt and then tried to get the tight, black shirt off, but it was so tight I couldn't pull it off with out messing with my stitches. I looked around in the cabinets to see if the had scissors or something to cut this off with, but found nothing.

I sighed and opened the door, maybe someone had something I could use. I saw Maggie walking up the stairs about to go her room when she saw me and walked over. "Fiona?"

"Hey, uh- Hershel said I could take a shower and all, but um.. I can't really get my shirt off." I said in a defeated tone. I hate asking for help.

She smiled at me and walked inside of the bathroom with me, helping me tug it off. "Don't forget to take the bandage off your leg. I'll put on new ones when you are finished." She said to me. "Thanks." I said to her and tried to smile a little, but it felt too forced. She understood that I was thankful, so she nodded her head and walked out, shutting the door behind her. She wasn't half bad.

My stomach felt sore and achy... I mean I practically just had an abortion... but worse.

I turned the water on and wiggled out of the rest of my clothes. I looked into the mirror before I stepped in and saw I had large bags under my eyes, and my hair was just a complete mess. I noticed that my collar bone stuck out more, showing off the scars that surrounded my neck and chest. All my scars seemed to be more prominent, now that I have seemed to have lost multiple pounds. I was kind of creepy looking... Having a big slice down my stomach and thigh, little bruises and scrapes dancing all along my body, and the scars all over my neck and some on my stomach from my asshole of a father.

My tattoos still looked okay though. I had one the right side of my lower stomach, near my hip, of a dragon. It was one of those bad ass Chinese dragons that I always thought looked pretty cool. I had another one on the top of my left rib cage of a butterfly... I had let Syd pick it out, I wanted to have a part of her. And, I also had a little skull on my wrist, but that was covered by the bandages. I quickly pulled all the bandages off my leg and wrists, then jumped in the shower.

I washed off quickly, but washed and conditioned my hair twice. I then stepped out and dried off, getting dressed again, but leaving the stupid black shirt off. I had saw a brush in the cabinet earlier, so I grabbed it and brushed through my hair. My hair was getting to be pretty long, it was down past my shoulders and covered the top of my back. I brushed all the tangles out and made sure it was soft and smooth, then was satisfied and went back down stairs.

Maggie and Hershel signaled me to Daryl's room and I followed them over. Hershel quietly opened the door and Daryl shot up, pulling the blanket over him, sitting so no one could see his scars. Hershel went over to check Daryl's wounds once more and Maggie brought me over to sit and bandaged me back up. She wrapped up my wrists and put a long bandage over my thigh. She signaled at me to lift my shirt up, then grabbed a bottle of some type of alcohol substance. She looked at me and poured some onto a rag to clean out my cut.

It stung like a bitch, so I hissed out in pain, causing Daryl to look over to me. It quickly went away though, and Maggie bandaged it up, smiled at me, then left.

Daryl had put on a shirt that Hershel gave him and was trying to stand up. I went over and put one of his arms around my shoulder while his other was around Hershel's. We got him to stand up and down the porch steps. Hershel let Daryl go and handed me some pain pills for us both. I thanked him and then dragged Daryl over to his tent and laid him down on his little make shift bed.

His tent was actually a pretty decent size, but he didn't have much in it, I don't think he ever settles in anywhere. I saw a canteen of water across the tent so I went and picked it up, handing it to him with his pain pills. He quickly downed them and then I sat down on what looked like a type of cooler across from him and took mine. "Why is ya stomach still hurtin?" Daryl asked me as he poked wholes in the tents screen with an arrow.
"Don't worry about it." I told him as I placed the canteen down on the ground. He turned his head around and looked at me about to snap at me, but I stopped him. "I don't think you'll ever need to worry about what it feels like to get a fucking abortion."

He went silent after that and continued to poke holes in his tent screen. He had a blue button up shirt on, but only buttoned a few of the bottom ones, leaving the top of his chest revealed. It was dirty and sweaty, but holy shit it was hot. He looked back at me and probably saw me staring, but I quickly looked away. I groaned aloud and shot up to leave his tent. I saw him raise an eyebrow at me. "It's so god damn hot in here." I said as an excuse and left his tent, giving Andrea a dirty look on the way by.

I walked over to Rick, Shane, and Jimmy who were all huddled around the map on the car again. They were discussing where to look for Sophia next. "I'm ready to go out lookin." I said as I walked up to them, not even going to ask. Shane looked up at me. "Now look, we already told you yesterday you're not fit to be out searchin. Don't need to lose another person."

"No, you look. I feel fine, just a few cuts is nothin I can't handle. We're close to findin Sophia and I want to bring her back." I said sternly.

"Fiona." Rick said as he grabbed my arm and guided us away from the car. "When Lori and I were trying to have a baby before Carl, she had an accident and had to get an abortion." He paused. "The point is, after she got it, she was on bed rest for at least a day or so. You though... you have been running around, not resting or eating very much." He paused again and looked me right in the eyes. "I know how much you want to find Sophia, but I'm not letting you go out there right now."

I sighed and gave up. I saw Rick relax a little as he realized I wasn't going to fight back, it was pointless, Rick's mind was set. I walked back over to the car with him and he looked at Shane, then back at me. "We will be having gun training in an hour or so, are you gona come?"

"I know how to shoot a gun just fine, I was taught by the best." I told them.

"Yeah? And who might that be?" Shane said to me while raising his eyebrows.

"My uncle. He was a military man." I said through clenched teeth at Shane. Who didn't respond, so I looked over at Rick. "I wouldn't mind helping out with it though." He nodded at me, knowing I need something to do, he agreed. "Alright. We'll come get you when we are gona leave." I gave him a quick nod and walked away, going into Daryl's tent.

I walked inside not even giving him a warning and he shot his head up, but relaxed seeing me. "Do ya have my gun?" I asked him, hoping he had grabbed it after I blacked out yesterday at the house.

"In ya bag I brought back, s'over there." He nodded to his bag in the corner. "What'cha need it for?" He asked as I turned around and dug through my bag. "Gona help out with gun training, and just want it." I shrugged my shoulders and finally found it at the bottom of my bag. I stood up, still holding the bag, and turned around, catching him staring at me. He quickly looked away and let out an awkward cough. Was he staring at my ass?

I sat down on the same cooler I was sitting on earlier and sighed, I was actually pretty tired. I grabbed a granola bar from my bag, then threw it over to Daryl. He caught it and opened it up, not hesitating to eat it. My stomach groaned in hunger and I realized I was pretty hungry, too. "Whens the last time ya ate somethin?" He asked me. I shrugged, actually having to think a little about that. "Uh- the mornin everybody got here, threw it up though."

He let out an unhappy sigh, then threw his wrapper in anger. "There's some extra squirrel, get some."

I sighed and stood up, I was about to walk out, but then I noticed my piece of shit phone sitting on the bottom of my back pack. I hesitated, but grabbed it and tried to turn it on. Miraculously, the little apple image showed up, signaling that it turned on. "Oh my god!" I shrieked.

Daryl quickly looked over. "What!?" When he saw I was just looking at my phone he relaxed. "Ya know you ain't gona get any service."

"I know. I know. But, music! And maybe even voice mails..." I trailed off at the last part and went to sit back down on the cooler as my lock screen came up.. 57% battery.

I slid the lock over on the screen and I saw my background... It was a picture of Trey and I hugging. I had a big goofy smile and he was pretending to lick my face. I felt my hands start to shake and I had a hard time holding onto my phone. I could tell Daryl was eyeing me, a little confused, but I just continued to look down. "I-I'm gona go get somethin to eat now." I said as I dropped the phone back in my bag and walked out of the tent.

I hurried over and made a plate with squirrel meat and some canned beans on it. I sat down in a chair and quickly scarfed it down. Seeing that picture with Trey had brought up all the sadness I had pushed down so well today. I had had managed to not even thinnk about that I had lost my baby yesterday. I never realized how much I wanted it, even though I didn't want to bring it into this world. I would have been able to have a perfect little baby of innocence and comfort in my arms. But, my baby is dead. Trey is dead. My mom is dead. Dead and gone.

I got up and set my plate on the little table we had made. I just leaned against it and store at it, trying to relax my mind. But, then I had over heard Lori and Glenn talking. "Lori you're pregnant!" I heard Glenn silently yell after going off about that she needed to tell Rick something. That sent me over the edge... I threw my plate and kicked the table over with a grunt and a whimper, getting every ones attention around me.

I looked at all of their worried and shocked looks and quickly stormed off, passing Daryl's tent, seeing him sitting up and looking around in confusion in worry. Must of heard the noise.

I didn't exactly know where I was walking off to, but I still stayed on the farm. I ended up at some type of open field on a hill, looking over some more fields and woods... it was beautiful. It's surprising how beautiful things can still be when the world went to shit. I sighed and sat down on the grass. My brain hurt from the rush of emotions it has been feeling the last day or so. It was weird to experience emotion after I had held everything back for so long, and damn did it hurt.

I hated feeling as weak as I do right now. Hate it. I've never been this weak before and I want it to stop. I would have never thought in a million years that I wanted a baby, but I did and that made me weaker.

I was trying so hard to stay together, but I keep slowly falling apart. I had cracked a little yesterday morning when Rick was in my room and let out the first tear since Trey. I was still barely holding on now, but I hadn't broke yet, I have to be at least strong enough to stay together, right?

I looked over at the view of the forest and sighed. I needed to focus on Sophia right now. She was out there, somewhere and I needed to find her.

I hadn't really talked to her or Carl much, but I knew what Sophia was like. She was innocent, but was put in a life with an unforgiving dad.. an abusive dad. She had to watch her mother suffer for her and was scared for her and her family. She had finally gotten free from her dad the night the camp got attacked, but wasn't able to stop being scared. Now she is lost and is running around in an unforgiving world.

I heard footsteps behind me and turned around seeing Andrea walk over. "We're heading out for gun training." She said.

I didn't say anything to her, or even look at her, I just got up and walked past her and made sure my gun was still in my waist band. I avoided every ones looks and headed over to the cars that everyone was piling into. Glenn, Dale, Hershel, Maggie, and Daryl were the only ones who stayed back. I hopped into the passenger seat of the car Rick was driving and said nothing as we drove over to the fence that was set up for target practice.

Syd got out of the car Shane drove and walked over to me. "How've you been doin?"

"Fine." I said, only to receive a look from her, she didn't buy it, but I changed the subject. "Now go over there and shoot, I wana see if you still got it." I said while handing her my gun.

Everyone had lined up to shoot besides Shane, Rick, T-dog, and I. I walked behind Syd and watched as she took her first shot, barely missing the target. My uncle had taught her a little, but not as much as he taught me because Syd would shy away from guns and violence. I noticed Patricia next to me had shot just underneath her target, missing it, too. I went between them, getting both of their attention, and gave them some advice on how to hold the gun and their stance.

They both took a second shot and knocked the can right of the fence. I heard someone behind me so i turned, finding a smiling Rick with an impressed look on his face. He nodded at me, as if saying good job, and walked over to Shane who was also looking at me with an impressed look. I smirked to my self and backed up, watching everyone shoot.

Jimmy was holding his gun side ways, like he was in a gang, but before I could say anything T-dog told him to cut out the "gangster shit."

I walked down the row of people and stopped by Carl who was struggling on hitting the target. I knelt down to his level. "Here, lower your arms down and spread out your legs." I put my hand on his arm, signaling him to lower them. He looked at me, trying to see if he was doing it right. "Good. Now, relax and aim the top of your gun at the target."

I watched as he relaxed his shoulders a little and shut one eye, aiming at his target. He took the shoot and it nailed the target, causing the bottle to shatter. He looked up at me and had a big smile on his face. "That was great." I told him as I stood up and put a hand on his shoulder. I saw Rick and Lori looking at me; Rick had a smile on his face, but Lori just looked unsure and worried, probably about Carl having a gun.

If I were her I would teach my kid to use a weapon right when they started to walk and comprehend things. I then felt a stab at my heart, I don't have a kid anymore. I pushed the thought into the back of my head and stepped back to watch everyone for the rest of shooting practice.