Wake the Dead

I felt the bouncing of a car as my senses started to come back. I'm not sure where I was or what was going on, but for some reason I don't want to open my eyes.. I don't want to be awake.

I slowly flickered my eyes open anyway, not really knowing what is going on. I was in Otis's old truck, laying down while Daryl drives. I looked down to see my right hand was bandaged and was stinging like a bitch. I thought really hard about what is going on and then I remembered there was a horde attacking the farm.

I sat up a little bit and Daryl jumped, looking at me like I was going to shatter into pieces. I then remembered what had happened. "Where's Syd?" I asked, but received no answer. "WHERE IS SYD!?" I screamed and then sat all the way up. "NO! NOOO!" I screamed as I kicked and punched against the truck, remembering what had happened. I lunged for the car door, I couldn't breathe. Daryl slammed on the breaks and honked the horn as I opened the door and got out of the car, falling to my knees. I heard Daryl's door shut and he came running around.

I remembered things in flashes...The exact walker that took the first bite out of her and how Rick tried to hold me back. I remembered her face that had been ripped up and destroyed. I remembered leaving her to be eaten.

I felt someone approach me, but I kicked and pushed them away. I sat on my hands and knees, sobbing uncontrollably and screaming. I felt by body give out as I collapsed completely onto the cement. Everyone was standing around me, staring with scared eyes, but then someone came down on the ground with me, I looked up and saw it was Daryl.

He pulled me into his chest and held me while I sobbed uncontrollably. I felt cold, and completely broken.. I want to go, but I also want Daryl. Everyone started to slowly disperse and I think I heard them say we would camp here for the night.

I stopped sobbing, I had no more tears or emotions left. I felt Daryl shift and pick me up bridal style, then carry me over to a very small fire that was going on the side of the road. I wanted to push him off me, but I couldn't remember how to make my body work.

It was dark again, and I was freezing. Daryl sat me down and then sat next to me, not even leaving my side once.

I just started to stare at the fire. Everything was gone. My life has finally gone from terrible, to not even worth living. I saw how the fire crackled and the flames grew and all I wanted was to feel the flames burn me, I wanted to feel something...anything.

I felt Daryl put his hand on my lower back, trying to provide comfort. I felt that small tingle on my skin when he touched me, it wasn't as strong as it was before, but it reminded me that I still had Daryl. Maybe he was what I needed to stay alive and feel again.

I heard Carol whisper something to Daryl, but I ignored it, not wanting to punch her in the face. "What if another horde comes by? Or a group like Randal's" I heard someone ask, not really paying attention enough to know who.

"Ya know I found Randal right? Was a walker, but wasn't bit." Daryl's raspy voice said. He hadn't said anything since I woke up, so his voice was refreshing. "Shane killed Randal, jus' like he always wanted to."

"And then the horde got him?" Lori asked, clueless as always.

I knew they where all asking these questions to Rick, but I didn't hear him respond for a while. "We're all infected... "

"What?" I heard Daryl ask and then move a little more towards me.

"At the C.D.C. Jenner told me... What ever it is, we all carry it."

I tried to stop my self, but I started laughing like a fucking crazy person. I felt every ones eyes turn to me, but I didn't look up from the fire. I could feel my self go crazy, I knew it and I didn't need these people judging me with their eyes right now.

I only laughed harder. Of course we all have it, nature doesn't let anyone win anymore. What the fuck did I do to deserve this?

A few branches snapped in the distance, causing everyone to shoot up, but me. It was completely dark now and the moon was out at it's fullest. All I heard was people questioning Rick and whining, it was driving me even crazier. I stood up and walked over to where the noise had come from, everyone just looked at me.

I heard footsteps instantly behind me and then someone grabbed my arm. "Where the hell are ya goin?" Daryl asked me.

I didn't answer, I just looked off into the distance at the moon, it was so bright, so creepy.. "Fi, look at me!" Daryl said, turning my face towards him. "Could be anythin out there, so stay fuckin back."

I tried to walk off again, but he stepped in front of me. I was going to kill someone, all I wanted to do was go find the noise and kill it. Fucking hell.. I was becoming murderous..

All I did was look at him with empty eyes, not really even seeing. I didn't say anything, nothing was going to come out besides screams or maybe more pshycotic laughter right now.

"Fi, I thought I lost ya at the farm. I couldn't find ya and then Rick showed up without ya." He paused. "Ya scarin the shit out of me, Fi... I ain't losin ya again." He shifted uncomfortably as he talked.

I knew by scaring him he meant that he though he was losing me as I slipped into numbness. I didn't want to leave him, he was the only thing I had left, but I couldn't feel anything. His words seemed to calm me down from my psychopathic thoughts, but didn't keep them away. I wanted to rip my hair out and punch Daryl in the face for caring about me.

"I ain't gona let ya go crazy, Fi. I promise." He said while he tried to search my eyes for something, but found nothing. I knew my eyes where in the direction of his face, but all I could see was Syd's torn up face and all I could hear was the loud moans from walkers. I backed up from Daryl, his eyes only reminding me of the full moon.

I bumped into something behind me, a person. I spun around and I swore it was Carol, but then all of the sudden it looked like the walker that bit my sister. "No no no no no no." I said as I started to back up in the other direction. I bumped into something again, but then realized it was Daryl. The figure that looked like the walker, just stepped forward towards me. "NO. Stay away!" I said to it as I fell to the ground, if it really was a walker I don't think it would have listen.

"Get the fuck outta here!" I heard Daryl hiss and then the figure disappear. It had to have been Carol, right?

I put my hands over my face, I'm fucking insane. What if I had attacked and killed her? I felt Daryl kneel down next to me. "Fi." He said, but I didn't move a muscle.

He then took my face in both of his hands and repeated himself. "I ain't gona let ya go crazy." I weakly nodded and then he helped me up. He had to be too late, I already was fucking crazy.

Everyone started givin me those looks again as soon as I got back. They looked at me like I was insane, looked at me with fear or pity, and all I wanted to do was gouge their eyeballs out. I felt Daryl but his hand on my lower back, understanding what was going through my head.
He guided me back to where we were sitting before and sat down next to me. I heard Carol look at me with fear and then whine to Rick about something, can't they just shut up?

"I am keeping this group together! Like I always have! I killed my best friend for you people for Christ sake!" Rick yelled in a hushed, very angry voice. "You saw how he was, how he pushed me, compromised us, threatened us.. He staged the whole Randal thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice!" Rick was only looking at Lori, who wouldn't even look at him. What the hell was her problem? He did what he had to do. "He was my friend, but he came after me. My hands are clean." He continued as I store off into the fire again, barely listening, I would always stand by Rick. "Maybe you are better out without me. Maybe there isn't another place. Maybe it's all another pipe dream. Why don't you go and find out your self?! Send me a post card!" Thank god Rick was finally not letting anyone push him around or whine at him anymore. "Go on, there's the door. You can do better? Lets see how far you get."
"No takers? Fine. But, if your staying, lets get one thing straight... This isn't a democracy anymore." Rick finished and then walked off.

Everyone had wide eyes and started whispering to each other about Rick. I wanted to yell at them to shut up, but instead it was easier to tone them out, only listening to the crack of the fire. They all started to lay down, besides T-dog and Daryl who were on watch.

I'm not sure how long it had been that I was staring at the fire, but my mind had went to a far away place. The flames where starting to die down a little, but I still had something to look at. "Fi, get some sleep." I heard Daryl tell me, not even realizing he had sat down next to me. I wasn't going to sleep, I wasn't going to let the nightmares rot my brain. I continued to stare at the fire, and I felt Daryl staring at me, but I ignored it.

He gave up and laid down on his back, eventually drifting off to sleep. Rick had taken over watch for him and Glenn had taken over for T-dog. Us three where the only ones awake now and it had to be the middle of the night, or morning. I felt their gazes on me multiple times, but I didn't look away from the fire.

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFGvmrJ5rjM <---- Song for next scene)

All I could see was Syd's face in my mind. I saw her chasing me around the woods when we where kids. I saw her laughing at me when I slipped off the bike, but then crying when she found out that I was actually hurt. I felt tears slip from my eyes and unbelievable pain seep into every single part off my body. I remembered I stole that bike from a garage sale for Syd when it was her 8th birthday. She was so happy and it was worth every punch that I received from my father later when he realized I stole it. But, as I was seeing her smiling and happy child face, I saw it transform into her demolished face that I saw at the farm.

Wanting to distract my self from the pain I was feeling as I thought about these things, I stuck my hand into the flames. I watched as the white bandage wrapped around my hand slowly caught and burned away. I watched as piece of it fell down into the fire and I felt the cuts on my hand burn, but anything was better than the pain I was feeling on the inside. "Fiona? Fiona, stop!" I heard Rick say as he ran over to me. I don't want to stop, I can't. I would take this pain over what was going on inside of me, any day. My sister had to take the pain of getting eaten, so why couldn't he just let me feel this? I needed to feel!

He ran over to me and yanked my hand out of the flames. He was too strong to fight back, so I didn't take my eyes off of the now very low flames as Rick inspected my hand. I knew Glenn was watching me now, but he didn't come over because he still wanted to stay on watch. I heard Rick let out a sigh and stand up to go back on watch, but he didn't move over to his other spot, he stayed right by me.

I was glad he didn't wake Daryl up, I didn't want to scare him any more than I already have. But, right now he's all I wanted, he's all I had.

-------(Daryl's p.o.v.)

I had manage to somehow fall asleep, but it wasn't for very long. At the very break of sunlight I heard a noise and shot up, seeing that others where gettin up, too, not wantin to stay here a second longer. It was like we were waitin to be eaten.

I slowly sat up, my back aching like a bitch from sleepin on the damn ground. I noticed Fi, still at my feet, hadn't moved a muscle. Had she even moved the whole night? I sat up and grabbed my crossbow. I noticed that her eyes looked red and even more dead then they where yesterday when she remembered what happened. I ain't ever seen her break down like that...ever.

I thought she was gone, mentally, last night, but when I put my hand on her back, I felt her react to it. It wasn't as strong of a reaction as before, but I knew that she had still felt something.. she was still in there.

She was all I had left and now I'm probably all she has left, too, but am I enough? Last night she fuckin flipped a shit at Carol, but I don't think she thought it was Carol..

I knew she didn't want my pity, but I can't help but think why she deserved anythin that happened to her. I wouldn't let that show in my face though, I could tell she was about to snap when she saw everyone lookin at her before.

For some reason Rick was standin at me feet, right next to Fi, but when he saw I was awake he walked away. What in the hell? Was he watchin her?

I looked down and saw Fi had her hand in her lap, but it wasn't bandaged anymore. I then saw piece of the bandage in the small fire pit. I shifted over to her and took her hand from her lap. It had burns all over it and skin was falling off of the cuts she had. She did this to herself?

I tried to contain the worry from my face, but I was struggling. What's stoppin her from settin her whole body on fire? I ain't lettin her leave me.

I started to get angry, but I ain't sure at what. That Fi did this to her self? That I might not be enough? That the world had made this all happen to her? They all seemed 'bout right, but I only committed to one reason as I stood up and went over to Rick.

"T'hell happened?" I asked him, in a hushed voice, not wantin anyone to here. He took a step closer to me and got into my face, whisperin. "She'd been sitting there all night, not moving, but thinking about somethin real hard. All of the sudden she starts crying and sticks her hand in the fire, staring at it like it makes her feel better."

"Why didn't ya wake me?!" I snapped at him, more worry coming through my voice then I wanted.

"Didn't seem like somethin she wanted me to do. I kept an eye on her." He whispered harshly to me, lookin up at the group. "Fuckin shit." I mumbled and walked off.

I saw everyone glancin over to Fi as they packed up their stuff, did they want her to snap? "C'mon, Fi. I got ya bag in the truck." I said as I pulled on her hand a little. She hesitated, but I could tell she didn't want to be by these idiots anymore, and let me help her up.

No one could keep their eyes off us as we walked away. I gave them all death glares, they can mind their own damn business. I put my hand on her lower back, tryin to keep her calm. She sat in the seat of the truck, lookin through her bag as I went to the back and pulled down Merle's motorcycle.

The truck took too much gas, so we where ditchin it. I took the last granola bar I had in my bike and walked over, handin it to Fi. If someone didn't make sure she ate, she never will. She didn't take it at first. "Ya need to eat." I said to her, but got nothin in return.

She hadn't said a word besides her pleads last night, and I would even go for her bitchin at me right now, but nothin... "Ya gona make me force feed ya?" I asked, putting the granola bar in her left hand. She hesitated, thinking about somethin, but the opened it up and started eating. She had decided to eat instead of starve, that had to be a good sign.

While she ate I reached into the glove box next to her and took out the medical kit. I took her burned hand in mine and started puttin some neosporin all over it, then wrapped it up again, but this time I had to wrap up her whole hand.

I would do everything to protect her and make sure she stays alive. She's all I got.