Wake the Dead

We arrived back at the prison and pulled into the gates, Carol and Carl closing them behind us. Not a word was said, just looks given, as we all hopped out of the vehicles and walked into the prison. Everyone followed us as we went into the cell block and the others who were in there gathered around. I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall next to Daryl as Rick grabbed a rifle and stood in front of all of us. Rick looked around at the group and made sure everyone was here before he talked. "So I met this Governor... Sat down with him for a little while.."

"Just the two of ya?" Merle's rough voice asked him. Rick nodded. "Should of gone when we had the chance, bro." Merle said to Glenn, who was left in charge, obviously something happened here with them two.

"He wants something he can't have." Rick started, looking over to me in a split second. In that moment I knew what the Governor had asked for, and I know that what Rick said next was a lie. "He want's the prison. He wants us gone.. Want's us dead." Okay, so maybe not all of it is a lie, but still. "For what we did to Woodbury.." Everyone stayed quiet, but as I looked around at their faces, I saw the silent fear.

"We're going to war." Rick finished, looked around once more, and walked off, but stopped at the door. He turned back around and locked eyes with me, nodding his head to the right, signaling me to follow him. I looked back at Daryl who had a confused look on his face, but just gripped onto my machete and followed after Rick.

He led me out to the fenced walkway outside between two cell blocks and stopped in the middle of it, looking out to the courtyard of the prison. I did the same, not making eye contact as I spoke. "I know he wants me."

I saw Rick turn to look at me and pinch the bridge of his nose from the corner of my eye, but I still kept my gaze in front of me. "I'm not giving you up. If this is all because of some stupid thing were he held you hostage then-"

"It's not just from that, Rick." I butted in. "But, I have to go."

I watched as Rick just looked at me, his eyes unreadable. He looked out to the field for a minute and let out a sigh. "I''m not giving you up." He repeated.

"I'm not letting everyone fight and die for me.. And you're not giving me up." I countered.

"You are part of this group, this family, and we protect our own." He put his hands on his hips and looked at me with stern eyes.

"You're right, this is my family, that's why I'm not going to sit back and watch them get slaughtered." I had to be strong about this and stick to my decision. "Would you really put your son's life on the line for me? Judith, too?" He didn't respond to me, just looked out over the courtyard, gripping onto the fence with one hand. "I can't be here anymore.. Don't want to be.. Not with all this shit going on."

"We protect our own." He snapped and then walked away, back into the prison. I knew I was putting him in a tough position, bringing Carl and Judith into this, but that was the only way I could get to him.

I let out a shaky sigh, feeling like bursting out into tears because of the decision I've made. I rested my head on the fence and started to take deep breaths in, Daryl was never going to let me go... I was doing this for him, he has to survive and I am willing to put my life on the line for him.

I heard the metal doors creek open and I looked to see V walking out over to me. He just stood next to me for a while, looking out of the fence in silence. "I heard what you said.. About the Governor." Was all he said after a while.

I looked down at my feet, not being able to hold back the truth from my "brother".. "You have to let me go... I have to go, V. I can't stand here and watch him kill the people I love! I can't watch him kill you or Rick and there is no way in hell I'm going to let him kill Daryl! I-I-I have to go... I have to." I was starting to hyperventilate, but V quickly moved and wrapped my tight in a brotherly hug.

Once I calmed down and got my breathing under control again, V released me and he walked back into the cell block. I told him I would take watch here, needing some time alone to think , and picked up the rifle Rick left.

I sat down on the ground and scooted back to the other side of the walkway, letting my back rest against the fence. My rifle was laying on my lap as I looked out over the field absentmindedly. I sat out here and thought about what I was going to do. I know that Daryl and Rick will never let me go, so I'm going to have to sneak out...

The sun was now completely down and the sky was a dark blue, showing how long I have been sitting out here and thinking. I knew the emotional pain of walking away from Daryl could possibly break me for good, but either the Governor will kill me, ending that pain, or I will somehow kill him and make it back to Daryl. The second option seemed like a long shot, very unlikely...

I stood up, taking one more look around the field and courtyard, then headed back inside to the cell block. V saw me first to walk in and he came over to me, reaching his hand out for the rifle. "Daryl's in his cell." Was all he said as I handed him the rifle and he walked off to take watch, putting a hand on my shoulder before he did.

This would be my last night with Daryl if my plan worked out... I had tonight..

I let out a sigh as I made my way up the stairs and into Daryl's cell. He was laying on his back with his eyes immediately on me, he was waiting for me to come up. I felt a pang of guilt strike me as I thought of the pain I would be putting Daryl through, how can I just leave him like everyone else in his life?

He patted down on the bed, signaling for me to come over. I hesitated, but took my boots off and made my way over, sitting down at his feet. I felt his eyes on me and when mine locked with his, I felt something inside me completely shatter and melt. I needed him, completely mentally and physically one last time. I quickly went over and crawled on top of him, meeting his lips as soon as I was completely hovered over him. "Fi, wh-"

"Please." I cut him off with a weak voice. He looked at me with a confused face, but he then put his hand to the back of my neck and pulled me back down to his lips, his other hand flying to my hip.

*

I didn't sleep after, not one bit. I felt too much pain, heart ache, guilt, and love as I focused on what it was like to feel Daryl's touch all over me last night, wanting to never forget it. I just laid and listened to Daryl's heart beat and light snores, trying to take in every last bit of him, down to his smell. Feeling that if I didn't do this now, I would never do it, I slowly and quietly slid out of Daryl's grip and off the bed. He shifted a little, feeling my absence, but never fully woke up.

Taking in a shaky breath I leaned down and gave Daryl one last kiss, taking in the taste and feel of his lips, before I backed away and got fully dressed again. I slid my shoes on and wrapped my jacket tight around me before I quickly went into the cell that all my stuff was in. Luckily V was still on watch, so I easily went to my bag and pulled out my small notepad I used for drawing. I ripped out the picture that I drew of Daryl, sitting at the kitchen table in the cabin we found during winter. I grabbed the pencil that was also near by and flipped it over. I ended up just staring at the blank page for a while, not knowing what to write, but at the same time, knowing what I have to do.

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFGvmrJ5rjM <----- Song for next scene!! Or any other really sad song you know, haha)

*Daryl Dixon,

Loneliness is a strange thing... It makes you do stuff that you wouldn't if you still had the people you loved around you... In my case, it made my head unclear, not thinking straight, making me end up having sex with you at the CDC, and again on Hershel's farm.*

I paused, taking a deep breath as I continued writing, trying to sound as convincing as I could.

*What we had was fun while it lasted, hanging out and playing weird feeling games with each other, and maybe it was real at the farm, but when I got left behind during winter, all those feelings left along with Syd's life... I changed..

She was the only one I ever cared about, only one I ever will.*

I paused again when I realized that a few silent tears were falling from my eyes, staining the paper with their wetness. I had to be strong.

*I am writing you this letter now because I wanted to tell you to not come after me when you realize I'm gone.. I don't want you to.. I don't want you. I just thought you should know that; the Governor didn't rape me, that was a lie.. I willingly slept with him... Willingly went with him and his group during the winter until we got split up...*

I felt like throwing up as I wrote down those words, truly disgusted in myself, but I had to make Daryl hate me, it was the only way...

*I'm sorry that I did this to you. I'm sorry that I made you love me...

Don't come after me.

Fiona Daft.*

I bit my lip to hold back sobs as I signed the paper full of heart breaking lies. I took a few deep breaths in, feeling my body start to shake as I stood up and walked back to Daryl's cell. Luckily he was sleeping with his back to the door, so I didn't have to see his face..

I laid the drawing down on his crossbow that was on the ground and quickly got out of that cell. I made sure I had my hunting knife on me, knowing that would be all I needed to bring and quickly made my way out of the cell block, but was stopped when I heard a familiar voice. "Where ya goin, girlie? Gotta date?" Merle joked.

I didn't look at him as he walked into the cafeteria behind me, but I sighed deeply as I turned to face him, keeping my head held high. He just looked at me with furrowed eyebrows for a while, but his eyes widened in realization soon enough. "Ya leavin aren't ya?"

I just kept my head held high, looking at him with hard eyes, even though I know emotion had to be seeping through. "Where the hell ya goin?" He asked.

I met his confused eyes that reminded me of Daryl's and quickly looked away. "Woodbury."

"T'hell ya goin there for? Ya gona turn yaself over? What about my baby brother?" He took a step forward.

"What about him?" I snapped back.

He gave me a serious look that I had rarely ever seen on him. "I see the way he looks at'cha. And I can see the same thing in you, too. He loves ya like his own kin."

I was a little surprised, but hearing him say that made my heart shatter even more. "Well I don't love him." My voice cracked at the ending, making my statement completely see through as tears welled up in my eyes.

"Bowl shit, girlie. I ain't stupid." Merle snorted. "I know the Govna' want's ya, it takes an idiot not to figure out ya were part of the little conversation he had with Rick."

"Then just let me go." I snapped at him.

"My baby brother really does love ya.. Ya really gona hurt 'em ya know? Leavin him.. Makin'm think things.." He took another step forward.

"If you love someone enough, you'll let them go... I'm doing this for him, for everyone here." I stated weakly, wanting to leave before I change my mind. "And if you love your brother you won't tell him about this conversation."

I was starting to shake more now as Merle just looked at me for a while. I needed to go, now, no matter how badly I wanted Merle to go and get Daryl and have them make me stay. I let out a sigh when I saw Merle nod slightly. "Ya ain't so bad girlie, never have been."

That was his weird version of a goodbye, and it struck me, making tears drop, sliding down my face. I gave him a nod and then quickly made my way out of the prison. V was standing by the gate, looking out over the fields, but turned to look at me when he saw me coming out.

Before I could even say a word he wrapped me in one of his bone crushing brotherly hugs. "I'm only letting you go right now because I know if I don't you'll do something even more stupid, or just probably knock me out." He chuckled a forced laugh. "I love you little sis. Try and come back?" He said as he pulled away from the hug.

We both know how unlikely that would be, but I nodded anyways as he opened up the gate for me, allowing me to step out. "Don't let anyone come after me. Let them hate me if they have to." I said ass he locked it behind me, I took one last look at the prison, feeling my heart completely crash and burn along with my world around me.

I quickly turned and ran, dodging the walkers in the field as I sprinted as far and as hard as I could away from my family... away from Daryl.