Making Sense of Love

I woke up to Daisy’s head on my chest. I struggled to push her off so I can breathe again. Her doggy breath was hot against my face, blowing evenly telling me she is asleep. I cringe my nose and shift my head away from where I could feel her mouth is. Daisy, I murmured to her, pushing her head, I felt her tail wag and I knew she was up. She licked my face and jumped off the bed. I heard her trot off to the kitchen where she would sit by her food bowl and await her breakfast. I shivered as my bare feet ran across the cold tiled floor of the bathroom. I rushed through my morning routine, knowing that my mom would be here soon. I was humming a catchy pop song as I brushed my teeth. I heard my front door open and I knew that my mother was here, earlier than usual. I listened to her coo at Daisy as she poured her food into the bowl.

“Karen,” she shouted in a sing song voice, “mommy is here.”

I rolled my eyes, “I am not a little girl anymore mom. You can stop shouting that every time you come into a room.” I washed my toothbrush off with water. “Besides, I know that you are here, I can hear you.”

“Oh don’t be such a crab. I am just so happy! Todd gave me a call last night. Told me how much you mean to him.” I blushed and let out a sigh. “Oh don’t be embarrassed honey, after six month Todd just thinks it’s time to get serious. He asked if he can have dinner with your father and I. He is such a polite man, a real gentlemen.”

I remembered him telling me last week that he was going to take this step. That he really wanted to meet my parents that it was important to him. My heart was pounding as I stood in the bathroom both hands on the sink. Are we really ready for this? I mean it’s all so fast, I should ask him to slow down. My mother sounds so happy though, happy with the normalcy of it all. I didn’t want to take that from her. I nibble on the inside of my lip and resign to the fact that my boyfriend would be meeting my parents.

“When did you guys agree on mom?” I tried to sound nonchalant.

“Next month dear,” I heard the refrigerator door open, “we are thinking toward the end of it so we can have enough time to prepare properly. Besides, I don’t want you to feel rushed.”

I smiled grateful that my mother knew me so well; we had six weeks before he met them. That will be enough time for me to get used to the idea. I laugh to myself and started to make my way to kitchen where my mother was putting away the food away. She spotted me and hugged me, smoothing out my hair as she chatted happily about her week. I am so grateful for her, taking such good care of me, coming to see me every week like clockwork.

“What is our plan for today mother?” I ran my fingers down her cheek, feeling how she has aged.

“I don’t know sweetheart. Would you like for me to read some of William Shakespeare’s works to you?” She smiled, she loved reading to me.

“Oh yes mother, Shakespeare is one of my favorites.” I make my way to the couch. “I will wait until you are finished.” I opened a brail copy of Poe’s written works.

I ran my fingers across each bumped up letters, immersing myself in the poetic insanity. I let the show that Poe’s words created, play in my mind. My heart started picking up the pace in a moment of terror created in the pages. My mother placed her hand on my shoulder and I jumped up. The book slammed to the floor.

“Oh I am so sorry sweetie; I didn’t mean to scare you.” I knew she had bent over to pick up the book. I heard her place it on the couch cushion next to where I was sitting. “I am ready to read to you.” She placed her hand on my shoulder and gently pushed me down to sit again. I heard the book open and her bring a chair to sit in front me. I settled back into my seat and allowed her voice to sooth me. “Let us begin.”