Cross My Heart

I could feel his eyes on me for most of the night, intentionally staying where he was even long after he was done with his meal just to get to me. Jimmy had no idea what was going on and
Jeremy had changed a lot since he had seen him last, thus confusing him further when he followed my gaze.

"I need another drink!" Charlie yelled happily and soon enough
Rene was back taking another round of orders. When she asked me if I needed a refill I shook my head and held up my barely touched glass.

"Alrighty! Let me know if you change your mind!" She said and spun around, walking off toward the kitchen.

"Smoke break. You down?" Matt asked. Everyone but Dillon agreed to go and I silently thanked God that at least one of them would stay with me, without me having to explain why.

"I'll be back." Jimmy said looking at me with a straight face. "Are you sure you're alright?"

I smiled. "Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, but you'd tell me if there was something wrong.
Right?"

I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You know I would. I promise, nothing is wrong."

He looked satisfied then got up and followed Matt and Charlie out the side door.

"What's up Maami?" Dillon asked once we had been alone for a few minutes.

"Huh? Nothing, what's up with you?" I asked taking a sip of my
Sprite.

"Pssh, bullshit. If it were nothin' you woulda ate your food, but instead you've hardly touched it. You've pushed it around more than you've put it in your mouth."

I looked up at him, his big brown eyes staring intently at me and I sighed heavily. If I was going to confess anything it would be to Jimmy, not Dillon. Jimmy was my husband, and let's not forget best friend. He should be the first to know.

"You don't gotta talk about, it's cool you know. I just wanna make sure there's nothin' seriously wrong with you. You feelin' okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just been a long few days and I think that now the excitement of the honeymoon and wedding and all that is catching up to me."

"That'll do it." He nodded.

"What about you, why aren't you out there smoking?"

He hesitated then shrugged. "Didn't feel like a smoke right now. Figured I'd keep you company babydoll."

I grinned at him and felt slightly better, reaching for my fork and taking a bite of my food.

"There ya go!" He said and smiled at me. "Eat all your greens and someday you'll be big and strong like me."

I snorted and rolled my eyes, then turned my attention to my food again. By the time the guys returned I had forgotten about Jeremy and was myself again.

"I think our waitress deserves a nice tip." Charlie said.

"You better not give her the tip otherwise we're never gonna get good service here again!" Jimmy yelled rather loudly.

"If I wanted to take her home, trust me. We'd get shit for free." He said.

"God, you're such a creep, Charles." I said putting my fork down. I felt good about the fact that there was nothing to waste.

"Creep or really smooth with the ladies?" He asked.

"If that's smooth I can see why no one hits on you anymore."
Dillon said and laughed.

"Why are you all so mean to me? I'm your friend, it's not like I screwed any of you then didn't call you again!"

"If we weren't your best friends you probably would've!" Matt said.

I laughed and followed along, sometimes joining in their insults, then excused myself to go to the bathroom.

I could hear the guys yelling and hooting about something or other as I made my way down the long walk way and to the small doors that were tucked off in the corner, leading to the bathrooms.
I looked in the mirror and was impressed by the state of my hair, for once, then fixed what makeup I thought was out of place.

Jimmy never cared if my makeup was out of place, and he never cared if my hair was an afro or like a supermodels. He was the kind of guy who just wanted to be with me, and wanted me to be as comfortable with his crazy side as he was with my lack of ability to fix myself up.

The door opened behind me and another girl walked in and smiled at me then made her way in to the empty stall. I took this as my cue to leave, I had heard some weird things in the bathroom before, then headed out to rejoin my group.

Except, the minute I came out I was met by a tall sort of blond guy with narrowed eyes. He smiled at me and I felt my blood go cold.

"Hey Layla." He said.

"Hi Jeremy." I said through gritted teeth.

"How the hell have you been? Haven't seen you in awhile."

"I've been good, and yeah I haven't been around lately." I tried to sneak by him but he puffed himself up a little more and then backed me up in to the corner.

"What do you want? This is a restaurant, there are a lot of people in here."

"Whoa, whoa, relax. I'm not gonna do anything. I just wanna talk to you. I haven't seen you in a long time. I'd like to catch up."

I looked around nervously, feeling like if I yelled people would think that I was going crazy and Jeremy would deny everything.

"What's this?!" He said a little too excitedly and grabbed my hand. Hard. He jerked my arm up to his eye level and then examined my wedding band.

"I got married about two weeks ago." I said. "I've been on my honeymoon. I'm actually here with my husband and some friends right now. They're probably starting to wonder where I am so-"

"They can wait." He said dismissively. "So you got married, huh? Do I know him?"

"Yeah I think so. His name is Jimmy Sullivan."

"Ah, sounds familiar. Yeah, tall guy? From California or something like that?"

"Yeah." I said, my voice coming out rather tiny. I hated to sound scared, especially after being more than capable of taking care of myself with Josh, the guy from the pit party a few years ago.

"Well he seems like a good guy. Kind of a little queer though, wouldn't you think? I'm surprised he married you."

"Excuse me?" I asked angrily. "You need to shut your face and leave me the hell alone. Don't fuckin' follow me either." I tried to get by him again but he pushed me up against the wall. Where the hell was everyone who worked there? Or any customers? Why didn't anyone walk by and see this?

"Come on. Just a few more minutes. I'm being nice right?"

"Not exactly." I muttered.

"You know, I've been meaning to thank you."

"For what?"

"For making my entire family see me as a monster, and fuckin' disown me." He growled. "My mother doesn't even look at me the same, she always treats me as though I can't be trusted to be left alone with any of my nieces. My father, he SLAPPED me across the face when they heard. They believe all those lies you fuckin' told everyone, and I just want you to know how fuckin' JOYUS my life is right now."

"Look if you want I'll tell them nothing happened-"

"There's nothing you can do now, Layla. If you suddenly changed your mind about everything they'd probably think I had something to do with it."

"Then what do you want me to do?" I asked, my heart beating wildly in my chest.

"Say you're sorry." He said.

"I'm sorry!"

"No, you need to say it and mean it. Not just say it because you're afraid. Say if because you ARE SORRY." he said.

"Look Jeremy, just let me go back to my fuckin' table. Alright? I won't even mention you."

"I don't care if you do or don't. I'm not afraid of any of those little mother fuckers you hang out with. You know why? Because they're nothing but a bunch of-"

Dillon's hand was on Jeremy's shoulder and spun him around, causing his words to slip out in a high pitch noise, and slammed him in to the wall.

"What's that, mother fucker? Huh? You got something to say, you BEST be saying it to my fuckin' face. You understand me?"

"Let go of me you fuckin' prick!" Jeremy yelled. "I'll press charges on your ass."

"Go ahead. Try me. You have some shit built up against you man, who's gonna believe a rapist over me? I don't have shit on my record, no one is gonna think that I did shit and if they DO they'll say you fucking deserved it!"

"Dillon, let go of him! We're gonna get in trouble." I whispered.

"No! Fuck this guy! He made it personal when he said he wasn't
scared of me!"

A few minutes later people came rushing over and Dillon let go of Jeremy, making sure to slam him up against the wall one more time before he did.

"Sir! Sir, what is going on here!" a short Chinese man was saying.

"This man was cornering my friend when she came out of the bathroom." Dillon said.

"Get out!" The man yelled. "Now!"

Jeremy spit on Dillon, nearly causing a catastrophic reaction but I reached my arms around him and hugged him to me.

"No, don't do anything Dill, please." I begged.

He sighed, really heavily, and then put his arm protectively around my shoulders.

"Out now! Before I call the cops!" the Chinese man was yelling.
For some reason I felt like he wouldn't just call the cops, but take out some aggression on him with a tea cup as well.

"Whatever! Fuck this place. Your shit sucks man!" Jeremy said and then stormed off.

"Are you alright?" He asked turning to me. "You are not hurt, right?"

"No, I'm fine. I'm so sorry for causing a scene in your place." I said.

"It is okay. I am sorry too. That man will not be coming back here, no more."

Dillon nodded. "That's right, he better not be. That guy is a rapist, he shouldn't be allowed near women at all."

"He won't come back." the man, who I assumed was the owner, repeated.

We walked back to our table and when Jimmy looked over and saw me he immediately dropped his cup and stood up.

"What the hell happened? That noise was you guys?" He asked.

"Yeah, nothin' I couldn't handle." Dillon said. "She's alright."

"What happened?" He demanded again.

"Nothing, Jimmy can we please just go home now?" I asked, feeling myself start to shake. The adrenaline was starting to wear on me.

"Why the Christ won't someone tell me what just happened to her?" He asked angrily looking at Dillon.

"Man, she saw that fool, Jeremy. He cornered her when she came out of the bathroom."

Jimmy got a look on his face that I recognized as the "War" expression. I grabbed a hold of his hands but he shook me away from him and turned to the guys. "I better get her home." He said then reached in his pocket. "Here's the money-"

"No man, don't worry about it. We got it." Matt said. "You guys just go ahead and get out of here. Layla, you alright?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." But the truth was, I wasn't fine. That man was responsible for some very long nights of tears and screaming.

"Alright, well call us if you need anything." Charlie said. He looked rather concerned.

"We will. Thank you Dillon." I said quietly.

"No problem. I knew there was something off about him. You said you were fine but any time I looked up and over that way he was fuckin' staring you down. I saw him head over near the bathrooms a few minutes after you did and decided to go see what the little fucker was up to."

"I'm glad you did. Thanks." I said again.

"No problem, Maami."

Jimmy nodded to the guys and then pushed by me and headed toward the door. I followed in silence.

-

The entire ride home was quiet. Jimmy didn't say not two words and any time I tried to say something he either pretended he wasn't listening or just didn't bother to answer me. Finally when we pulled in our driveway I started to cry and threw open my door.

Normally Jimmy was right behind me, especially if I was upset and crying, but this time he remained in the car just staring at the wheel. I wasn't sure why he was upset, maybe because Jeremy was starting some shit again or if it was because I had lied about there being anything wrong at all. Most likely a combination of both.

I went inside and to the living room where I sat down and fumbled with the remote to the T.V. finding the show Friends and put it on. I grabbed the blanket next to me and covered myself up, not too hot because of the A/C and snuggled with the pillow.

Things were going to good for me, and I knew that. It was all just a matter of time before something happened to ruin the perfectness of it all, but why did it have to be him? Why Jeremy Dunn?

I had so many memories of him yelling in my face, telling me I couldn't see my family or friends. He would call me names and then expect me to have sex with him right after telling me I was no good at it and worthless. He threw lots of things at me, and any time he came in to contact he would tell me to blame it on something else. When I asked why, what would be the point because people would know he said it was because he loved me and he didn't want anyone telling him he couldn't see me anymore.

It was painful to re-live a memory like that and the more I thought about how angry Jimmy was with me, the worse I felt. I tried to focus on the relationship problems of Rachel and Ross until finally I heard the front door open and shut slowly.

"Lay." He said coming in and gently sitting down next to me on the couch. "I'm sorry, beautiful."

I looked at him. "For what?"

He smiled slightly and reached over with his thumbs to wipe the
stray tears away. "I got all pissy when I shouldn't have."

"Why were you mad? Because we didn't tell you right off who it was...or because I didn't tell you when I first saw him?"

He shrugged. "Yeah...I guess. I knew something was up but if you didn't want to talk about it I understand too... it was more..Dillon."

"What?! What did he do?"

"He knew it was that guy who was making you uncomfortable. He followed him over there to make sure he didn't hurt you. You clung on to him so tight, like he could protect you from anything. I know we're all friends but... I felt like I shoulda been the one doing that. You know? As your husband."

"Awe, Jim..." I sat up and scooted over so he could move back and make himself comfortable. "You know I love Dillon in a brother type of way. He just happened to be there when stuff happened. He didn't have time to tell you what was going on."

"I should have seen the signs. I shouldn't have left you."

"We've had this talk before, but you can't ALWAYS be there when something happens. I know it's hard to accept that but..."

He leaned his head against mine. "I know. I just feel like a failure of a husband if I can't even stop my wife from being pushed around by some fuckin' creep."

"I should have told you who it was so you wouldn't have had to guess." I said. "It's my fault, so really I should be the one apologizing."

"No." He said firmly. "You didn't do anything wrong. It was me."

"We're so sickening."

"I know." He grinned at me then reached his hand around my side and squeezed me. "So..."

"So what?"

"So...we're home...and alone. The guys won't be bothering us for awhile, they probably still think we're fighting."

I smiled. "What are you suggesting, Mr. Sullivan?"

"I'm suggesting that while we have our chance we should make our way to the bedroom, little lady."

"Seriously? God, what happened to you in Hawaii?"

"What?! No! I meant we should go in there and get some damn sleep! What are you talking about, you pervert. Ew. Gross."

I laughed. "Yeah, we'll see how you react when we get back there and when you put on those darling little moves of yours I turn over and go the hell to sleep."

"You're so mean." He whined.

"Not mean enough apparently."

"I like it better when you're nice to me, and give me kisses. And play in my hair. And drag your nails down my back. And bite my neck. And kiss my throat. And-"

"I get it! I get it." I laughed pulling his face to mine. "I'll go only if you make me breakfast in the morning."

Jimmy grinned. "Deal."