Splitting Pearls

After that day, the day when Flo and I finally reconnected, my life became a balancing act. I tried to see Flo as much as I could while still giving her space. She needed to be able to really think things through, to decide on her own that she really wanted me. I had to carefully control my actions around her, since I walked a very fine line. Flo was hurting. I won’t call her broken... how about bruised? And while she healed, I needed to be very careful not to try taking more than she was truly ready to give. At the same time, I knew that it would be very damaging to any relationship we might have and to Flo’s self image if she thought for a second that I was being so careful.

It would have been exhausting, except that I felt lighter, better able to take on any challenge, than I had in a long time. It was Flo. She was invigorating.

Probably you’re wondering about what happened that night, the night of kissing and baked ziti. I’ll tell you about it.

Rhea sat down at the table and poured herself a cup of tea. I got up and fetched the milk for her, remembering how she liked it. She gave me a warm smile for it, and Flo looked positively radiant. I didn’t want to stare too openly at her, but it had been so long since I had been able to and hey, what did I have to hide? Rhea already knew very well how in love I was with Flo. And Flo… well, she was looking at me a lot, too.

While I longed to have Flo to myself, it was good that Rhea was there. She was a good buffer, smoothing over any lingering awkwardness. Flo and I hadn’t really had a chance to talk about what it meant, my staying. I felt vaguely nauseous from all of the doubts and wondering pulling at me. I badly wanted to sit her down and talk things out. I wanted to spell out exactly what we were doing here: hooking up? Hanging out? Diving back into our relationship as if the break had never happened? Of course it was way too soon for me to start plaguing her with any of that. Rhea made it impossible for me to push things further than they should go.

“Marcus, I’ve been thinking about writing a song just for your homecoming. We won’t be the only ones celebrating, you know. We never did find a replacement singer or bass player. The band has been a little weirder without it, though you know Gus was able to step in on bass when we really needed it. Point is, we missed you- and so did our fans. Do you have any requests?”

I smiled. It was good to feel like I really belonged here. “I’ll have to think about that one.” Really, classical music wasn’t my thing. I loved what Rhea did with it, don’t get me wrong… but when it came to suggesting new songs, I was clueless. I didn’t want to say no outright. Maybe there was a song that Flo would want us to do. Probably, being Rhea’s best friend, she could have put in requests long ago, but…

I glanced at Florence and found that she was watching me with a small, content smile on her lips. I raised a brow at her, silently prompting her to explain. “I’m just glad you’re back,” she said. “Did I ever tell you that? Because I am- so glad.”

I glanced at Rhea to see how she would take this. I knew that she was Flo’s biggest protector and that she had to know we were on shaky ground here. Rhea just looked thoughtful. I focused my attention back to Flo. “I’m glad to be back.”

I heard the sound of the front door being unlocked. It had to be Reed. I was surprised that he had his own key to the place. Then I was surprised at my own surprise. Reed and Rhea had been together for over a year, I reminded myself, and they were absurdly happy together. Of course he had a key. There were two dull thuds- Reed kicking off his boots? I glanced absentmindedly at Flo, then did a double-take. She had an unmistakable gleam of anticipation in her eyes and was obviously fighting off a grin. I had just started to feel jealous- what, was she attracted to him? In love with him?- but then Reed walked in carrying a small, blanket-wrapped bundle. Flo was watching Rhea, not Reed. That made me breathe a little easier.

Rhea stood up and rushed over to where Reed stood. She was about to fling herself into his arms, but it seemed like she only noticed they were occupied at the last second. “What?” she asked, utterly confused. Reed was tall enough that the contents of the bundle were out of Rhea’s line of sight. He and Flo exchanged conspiratorial glances before Reed handed Rhea the bundle.

Rhea took what he offered automatically and examined the contents. “Kitty!” she yelled. Her eyes started to water almost immediately. “A kitten? You brought a kitten?”

Reed chuckled. “Yup. Don’t worry, I cleared it with Flo first.” Ah, I thought, relieved. That explained her eagerness.

Flo got out of her seat then and took the blanket-wrapped kitten from Rhea so that Rhea had her arms free to hug Reed. Only she did a bit more than hug him- Rhea launched herself at him, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Reed supported her easily, as though this were a regular thing. Rhea kissed him in a way that was entirely inappropriate for company. As an excuse to look elsewhere, I stood and looked at the kitten that Flo held. “Is it supposed to be that calm?” The kitten was just looking up at us as though it were entirely unconcerned about being held or about being brought to a new place amongst strangers.

Flo was beaming. I focused on her rather than on the kitten. She was beautiful. Her eyes wouldn’t meet mine but I knew better than to take it personally- she had a weakness for baby animals. “Most cats get this kind of weird calm when you wrap them up, if you do it right. Besides, can’t you see its eyes drooping? I think it’s tired.” Flo glanced back at Reed and Rhea, who were still going at it. “Hey, can you tell me the proper pronouns please? I don’t like calling Kitty an ‘it.’”

Rhea dropped herself back down to the floor and tried to step away. Reed wrapped his arm around her stomach and pulled her back against him. Rhea twisted her head so that she could peck him on the cheek. My chest ached to see them. Flo and I, we could have been that simple, too. We could have had that easiness, that happiness.

I blinked away those thoughts. We still could have those things, if I was careful.

Rhea wrestled herself away from Reed and reached out for the kitten. Reed laughed lightly. “It’s a boy. I figured that would be best.”

I frowned. “Why?”

Reed snorted. Rhea looked at me like I was some kind of simpleton. “Because all of my favorite composers are men. Which shall he be? Dvorak? Rachmaninoff? Tchaikovsky?”

“Why is your cat Russian?” I asked.

Flo snorted. “Just look at him!”

I was looking, and honestly, I didn’t see it. But I knew from experience that arguing with these girls would get me nowhere when they got all insistent on their nonsense. Instead, I nodded as though it all made perfect sense. Flo was glancing between me and the kitten, a look of warm fondness spreading across her features. I wondered whether that was for me or for the cat- a sad question to need to frame.

Florence finally said, “Dvorak, of course. He looks like a Dvorak.” I wondered what a Dvorak looked like.

Rhea nodded decisively. “Too true.” She untangled the cat from its wrapping and rubbed him on her face. “Dvorak,” she said fondly. Reed and I exchanged eye rolls and half smiles.

My stomach rumbled. Flo glanced over at me in alarm. “Oh, Marcus! You’re hungry!” She sounded so surprised, like it wasn’t dinner time and like we hadn’t been planning on eating. I shrugged. “I’ll take care of this,” Flo said. “You guys go cuddle or something.” For one bizarre instant, I thought that I was included in the cuddling group that was being dismissed, but then Florence grabbed my hand and tugged me over to her refrigerator. I glanced behind me toward Rhea and Reed and only caught a glimpse of them as they left the room. When I turned back to Flo, she was giving me a salacious smile. Her eyes spoke invitation.

“Are we going to cook?”

Flo laughed. “I can think of better things to do.”

Oh, lord. I had already pushed enough boundaries today. Flo took a step forward so that our bodies were pressed up against each other from shoulder to feet. I groaned and grabbed her shoulders, holding her in place while I took a step back. “I’m trying really hard here,” I said. “Please, can we make dinner?”

Another laugh bubbled from Flo, warming me inside-out. “Yes, of course. You’re fun.” I wouldn’t normally have allowed her to mock me like this without a little light retaliation… but it was too good to see her happy. I didn’t want to risk sinking it.

“Well, what do you want to make?”

“We should try to do ziti! I mean, that was what Rhea wanted earlier.”

I shrugged. “Can’t be that hard, right? Pasta, sauce, cheese. We can do that.” Flo and I worked effortlessly together, though I did arrange a couple of fake collisions so that I could have small, regular contact with her. We would bump hips while she grated cheese and I reached for the spice cabinet. We would both go for the ladle at the same time. That kind of thing.

In the end, the ziti turned out half-decent or better. Flo and I definitely put in more cheese than was normal. The sauce had turned from red to orange, it was so saturated. That only made it taste better. Rhea and Reed didn’t come out until we called them, and even then it took a few minutes for them to get to the kitchen. I didn’t ask what they had been up to- didn’t want the mental images. Flo and I sat down next to each other and spent the meal bumping thighs. It all felt very high school, but I didn’t care. I had finally, finally started to get my Flo back.