Splitting Pearls

I barely resisted the urge to pull my phone out and check the time again. As long as I didn't look, I could pretend that Lionel wasn't impressively late. He had insisted on picking me up from the airport, but I would have turned him down if I had known that this was how it would be.

I ached to be gone from here, where I was surrounded by too many people, none of them any of the ones that I really wanted to see. All of this waiting was only making me more agitated. I didn't know what to expect, coming back after a year spent away. My life had been set up exactly the way that I wanted it to be. I'd had my band, my friends... my girl. Now there was only one thing that I could be sure had stayed the same, the friends- and, I thought bitterly, I would start doubting them too if someone didn't show up to drive me home soon.

I would be staying with Lionel and Reed's family until I found myself an apartment. My parents were going to be moving back to town too, but they weren't coming for another couple of months and frankly, I didn't really feel like living at home anymore. I had done a lot of growing up since I left. It was time I put that to the test.

A memory dragged itself up to the forefront of my mind, one from the days when Florence and I were together. My mother had burst into my bedroom when we were both wearing slightly less clothing than my mother found acceptable. Florence had laughed it off but it had been then that I decided it was time for me to get out from under my parents.

My grandmother's illness had postponed that freedom, but it was time that I got my life back on track.

A black Kia Optima pulled up to the curve by me. I glanced at the driver and immediately grinned. It was Rhea. Lionel hopped out of the passenger seat and ambled over to me. I hugged him, manliness be damned, and the two of us were almost knocked over when Rhea flung herself at us, laughing and chattering excitedly. "Marcus! I'm so sorry we were late, Lionel's car was having serious problems so we doubled back to get mine. Do you like it? I bought it a couple of months ago. His name is Hugo, you know, for Victor Hugo? Adorable." She pulled away and inspected me briefly while Lionel took hold of my luggage, throwing it into the trunk. "You look good," Rhea pronounced. "Different, but good."

We grinned at each other for a minute before an unexpected twang pulled at my chest. It took me a moment to realize that it was because seeing Rhea brought back my memories of Flo. I suddenly felt that she would hop out of the car any second and would throw her arms around me, laughing and chattering just the way that Rhea had. That enthusiasm was something that they both shared, and I had never met anyone else before who had such catchy, easy cheeriness as those girls.

And in that moment, I wished that Florence had come to pick me up. I had known better than to ask. Probably she had moved on long ago. Goodness knew that I had tried and even thought that I succeeded until it was time for me to move back and I found my thoughts consumed with her once more.

Rhea clicked her fingers in front of my face, her characteristic expression of impatience gracing her features. I smiled lopsidedly at her and climbed into the back seat.

"What do you want to do today?" Rhea asked as she pulled back onto the freeway.

I wanted to see Florence. I couldn't tell her that, though. "I was hoping to have some time to chill somewhere that isn't public," I said, hoping that Rhea would invite me over to the apartment that she shared with Flo. "Airports make me sick of strangers. Can we have a jam session later?"

Lionel pumped his fist in the air and let out a whoop. "I told you he'd be up for it!" he said to Rhea before turning back and facing me. "She said you'd want to rest."

"I do want to rest," I pointed out. "Just not alone." I realized how sad this sounded and grimaced.

"Let's get ice cream!" Rhea said. "Reno's just closed for the winter, but we can still hit up the grocery store. Creamsicles. That's what I want."

I shook my head, smiling. Enthusiasm. That was something that my friends I made in Kansas lacked. "That sounds good. What's been going on with everyone?"

Lionel snorted. "Not too much. We've been waiting for you to get back, man. I was thinking, what if we had a welcome back concert? I bet it would be huge. People kept asking if you would come back."

"What did you tell them?" I wondered aloud.

"We said of course you would!" Rhea exclaimed as though any other possibility was impossible. "You need us as much as we need you." I wondered whether that was true. I probably needed them more.

Rhea pulled off at the exit nearest Lionel's house. I remembered what Florence had said about getting a new job at a restaurant nearby and blurted, "Actually, before we do ice cream, you want to grab a bite to eat somewhere? I haven't had real food all day."

"Sure. Where do you want to go?" Rhea asked.

"Hal's?" I asked. I remembered Florence mentioning once that she had gotten a job there. I was surprised with myself. I genuinely had thought I would take longer to break down and try to see Florence. I had to know where I stood with her, though. We never said that we would get back together if I moved back, but I had always assumed that it would happen. Even the girls I dated in Kansas had always felt temporary to me, an echo of what a real relationship would have been. I knew what I wanted. I didn't know about Florence, though.

There was no response to my suggestion, though Rhea and Lionel exchanged anxious glances. "Uhm, do you think that's a good idea?" Rhea finally asked.

"Yeah, why not?"

Silence again. "Florence works there," Rhea eventually said. I barely had time to wonder why I shouldn't see her before Rhea added, "Marcus, I feel like maybe Flo wouldn't have mentioned this to you and goodness knows that I don't want to be the one to do it, but... She's seeing someone. They've been together for what, a month? I don't think it's serious, but she's doing her best to move past you. I know she would be happy to see you again, but I think that it would feel kind of like an ambush if I brought you in without giving her proper warning. She doesn't even know you were coming in today."

I froze and was suddenly glad that neither of them was looking at me. An ache spread through me. I coughed uncomfortably. "Okay. You're right."

"The guys are going to meet us back home at five. That gives us an hour for an ice cream run and time to settle you in," Lionel suggested.

Rhea's shoulders relaxed. I wished I could dispel the tension running through me so easily as that. Florence, my Florence, hadn't waited for me. I wondered whether she dreaded seeing me again like I dreaded seeing her.

***

Reed was still at work through most of our practice, but when he did come in everyone immediately stopped playing. Reed walked over to me and gave me a one-armed hug- his other hand was extended to Rhea, who took it and smiled brilliantly up at him.

"Good to see you, man," he said as he wrapped his arms around her. I felt the ache in me deepen. The last time I had been in our practice room, I'd held Florence like that. She had looked at me the way that Rhea looked at Reed.

"Yeah. How's life been treating you?" I asked.

Reed's smile grew. "I really couldn't complain."

Rhea laughed. "Oh yes he can, and does. Don't let him fool you, Marcus."

I held up my hands. "Consider me unfooled."

"Hey, what about our practice?" Rupert asked. "If we're going to be ready in time to play Reed's party we need all of the practice we can have."

Reed groaned. "Just how big is this party? Because I told you, I don't need a big thing." His words were belied by his grin and no one paid him any mind.

"Let's go, McCoy," Lionel said, gesturing toward my bass. "Wouldn't want you to have to warm up again." I rolled my eyes, used to being singled out by him. It felt good to slip into our old pattern. Better than I could have asked for.

"Hey, I'm not the one who decided that we had to be ready to play by Friday. Five days is no time at all," I replied.

"Exactly why we need to get back to it!" Lionel said, waving his hands in frustration.

Gus started playing and we all fell into line, though Rhea was watching Reed instead of Lionel, so she missed the cue for a tempo change. It was easier than I had thought it would be to slip right back into the music with them. I had been practicing of course, but my playing was still a little rusty. Still, we sounded good, I thought.

I glanced around the room before jumping back into the chorus. It was good to be back home.

***

I caught up with Rhea after the practice. "Is someone going to tell Florence that I'm back?" I demanded. Rhea was right, she wouldn't want to be surprised by me. Flo loved surprises, but I wasn't sure that that extended to ex-boyfriends intruding in on her life. I wouldn't do that to her.

Rhea grimaced, her whole expression shifting quickly from cheeriness to exhaustion. "Look, I'm going to talk to her... but it's hard, Marcus. You don't know how hard it is." I shot her a look. "Okay, fine, maybe you do. But what am I supposed to do? Should I just walk up to her and be like, 'Yeah, Marcus is back in town and I didn't bother to tell you?'"

"Well, it's the truth, isn't it?"

"No need to be like that," Rhea grumbled. I didn't respond other than to give her a stern look. "Fine. I'll tell her tonight. But Marcus, I don't know how she's going to take it."

"Thanks." Then I would be able to see her tomorrow. I wasn't sure whether this knowledge made me feel better or worse. Better, I decided. I had to see her, to figure out if things really couldn't go back to the way that we were. Surely she remembered how good we were together. How could she just give that up?

But, I thought as I walked back inside, hadn't I made her give it up when I left? Of course it wasn't her fault that she had moved on when I had been the one to give her something to move on from.

Once I made it inside, I stalked up to my room. I knew that Lionel and Reed would have liked to hang around for a while, but they wouldn't blame me for taking a little alone time. I took my acoustic guitar out of its case and started strumming it softly. Most of my time spent in Kansas had been either with family or with this guitar. The familiar feel and weight of it made me feel more grounded. When I fell asleep, it was with one hand still clutching its neck. I held on until morning.