It Never Ends

I got out of the shower as I looked into the mirror , I can't help how incredibly disgusting I look. I have bruises, cuts and burn scars all over some from Andy beating me most are what I've done to myself. I hate myself , I'm never good enough. I've been a month clean , but I can't take this feeling.
I take out my blade and make cuts on my torso. Its a burning sensation , I can't help but cry at what a mess I am. I stop crying when I hear I'm a Monster by Of Mice and Men play on my phone, it was Austin texting me.
Austin: " Hey, man are you going to make it to my show . Its been a while I miss you!"
Me: "I wouldn't miss it! see you there!"
Austin: "okay man c:"
I completely forgot about the show , I rushed to my closet to see what I can find to wear. After throwing around clothes I finally found something. My pink Floyd shirt and black jeans and vans.
Well I'm ready to go.

******
-45 minutes later-
Austin mailed me my ticket and backstage pass so I was able to show the guard and he let me in. Once I walked in I was immediately picked up from the ground by Austin.
"OLLLIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!!"
"I've missed you too mate hows everything been?"
"Great!" said Austin "Oh we got a new guitarist I want you to meet him"
Austin walked into the other room as I followed and lets just say my breath was taken away.