Don't Give up on Me

Zacky POV

"I just... fell into this funk and I couldn't get out of it. I'll spare you the gory details, but it had basically gotten to the point where I couldn't function anymore; I was ghosting through the halls at school, at home. I was so far gone that when I went too far in my bathroom one night, it didn't even hurt..." Andi says, her voice trailing off towards the end of her speech. I recognized that sadness in her tone from the night we got arrested, and she had told me about her first time in handcuffs. I felt so inclined to just hug her, and make sure she knew that it was all okay, that she'd be okay, because she didn't deserve to be so sad. But, I didn't know how, exactly, so alike the rest of my friends that were gathered here with us, I held back and listened, just as she had hoped for.

She takes a deep breath, and then pushes off the bracelets she wore on her left wrist, and reveals her small white scars, followed by a large white one running across her wrist, on top of her artery. "I hadn't meant to do any of this, and I certainly didn't mean to attempt suicide. But, self harm is so much more addicting than people realize. And I am so glad my Dad had walked in literally right after I did it, or else I wouldn't be here today."

"I know you guys are more than a little confused as to why I just confessed this to you, but I have a purpose for this little story, so bare with me," she sighs. "Anyways, last night, my Dad had wanted to my brother and I to meet his new girlfriend / boss / owner of the restaurant he works in, and long story short, it turned out to be Serena's mother, and I ditched long before shit could get nasty. But, being the overly worried and overprotective father that my Dad unfortunately is, blabbed about my two month long stint in rehab to Serena's mom and now Serena knows, and plans on using it against me. So, I just thought you guys should hear the truth from me before she tells the entire school."

She smiles sadly, hugging her knees to her chest and sighing for the millionth time. "I really hope this doesn't cha-"

"Why would that change anything?!" Charlotte interrupts, reading Andi's mind. "We fucking love you Andi, more than you think.Your past doesn't change that one bit."

"You're not the only one that's felt like that, trust me," Violet tells her, hugging the redhead close.

"You're really not," Jimmy says quietly. "We all have demons. No one in this circle is perfect, so don't think for a second you're out of place with us. You're in it for life with us, Ariel."

She smiles softly at the nickname from him, her eyes bright. "Thanks guys, it really means a lot."

"Now, when are we jumping Serena?" Violet asks with a serious face.

"There's no way in hell you're serious, Vi!" Matt replies instantly to his on-again / off-again girlfriend. After our busted party at her place, they were on again, so he was doing his best to look out for her, which I didn't complain for ; as long as he didn't break my adopted sister's heart, I was all for it.

"Violet, you're insane," I shake my head in agreement.

"But Jimmy and I have this all planned out!" she pouts.

"Putting on Obama masks and 'hoping for the best' isn't a fucking plan, Violet," Brian rolls his eyes at her, causing her to push him roughly.

"Why Obama masks?" Andi asks.

"Why not?" Jimmy replies. "Would you expect someone to break into your house wearing one?"

"Well, no..." she answers softly.

"Exactly! Its brilliant!" Violet grins.

"No, Vi, just shut up," Charlotte groans, making us all laugh.

"Seriously though, what are we going to do about Serena?" Violet says after a few moments of silence.

"Well, none of us really CAN do anything about her," I tell her. "Being a student aide fucking sucks, but its gotten me enough information to know that Mr Lowe is playing the favorites card a lot this year, and we're all one referral, fight, or incident away from expulsion."

A chorus of groans emerges from them all. "Fuck this school, man, its because we're not apart of the super rich kids clique, I fucking swear," Jimmy mutters.

"Look, guys, you really don't have to get dragged into this-"

"She's fucked us all over more times than we can count. If anyone is being dragged into anything, its you, Andi. We're a fucking cult. We get shit done. And we're annihilating Serena fucking Lawson. Understood?" Violet interrupts, her eyes growing dark in a matter of seconds.

"Jesus, Violet, you wonder why everyone at school avoids us, but then you say shit like 'we're a cult', " Charlotte shakes her head. "That's not how you make friends, Vi."

The bell for third block rings, and after the group says their goodbyes and gives extra hugs to Andi, they scatter, leaving the two of us standing alone as the courtyard filled with students. She looks up at me with a small smile on her face, her eyes locking with my own. "So, am I a freak to you now?"

"Never," I grin down at her. Honestly, she was a still a complex mystery to me. But I felt like I'd just gotten a major chunk of information I've been dying to know about her. I had seen her scars before, the first day I met her, and always wondered how someone who looked so happy, and was so unbelievably beautiful, could be so troubled to self harm. I couldn't wrap my head around it, but it took guts to admit that to me, and I admired that.

I guess the term "looks can be decieving" definitely applied to her.

"Alright, good," she sighs in relief, then looks out to the second building. "I really don't wanna go to that class."

"I'll walk you there," I tell her, putting an arm around her shoulders. She sighs, but walks beside me, a frown etched onto her face. When we do reach the classroom, she plants her feet down firmly in front of the classroom door, unmoving.

"Andi?" I ask questioningly.

"Yeah?" she answers softly.

"Are you going to go in?"

"Eventually..."

I give her a look. "Just go. This is your favorite class, just relax, let it all out on that canvas or paper or whatever you're doing, and it'll be over before you know it."

"You know, for as much trouble as you get into, you're pretty good at this lecture thing," she mutters.

"Yeah, well, someone has to," I shrug. "Go, Andi."

"Lunch couldn't come soon enough," she sighs, but start to walk inside. "Bye Zack."

"Bye," I say, but she was already too far inside of the large room to hear me. I turn and head down the crowded hallway quickly, since Mr Lowe was always up my ass about being late. Without realizing it, I pulled an Andi and ran smack into Serena on accident.

"Excuse you," she snarls, pushing me off. "Watch where you walk."

"Fuck off, Serena," I tell her over my shoulder.

"Did she tell you?"

"Why do you care?"

"You know why," she says, making me stop and groan.

"Oh my God, when are you going to let this go, Serena?" I ask, exasperated.

"When you tell everyone that YOU were the one that caused that fire," she shrugs.

My eyes dart to hers quickly. "That wasn't me..."

"Then why do you look so nervous?" she raises an eyebrow. "I told you that night that unless you fessed up, everyone around you would suffer. Andi happens to be someone very close you to you, right? So she suffers. You shouldn't have blamed me, Zacky, this could have been prevented. We could've still been friends, you know..."

I grit my teeth. "Just leave Andi alone. She wasn't even here when all of that happened. Just stop."

"You like her, don't you, Baker?" she asks. I roll my eyes, I knew she'd play this card. "Yeah, thought so, and so did the entire school. Remember when we-"

"You're a stupid fucking bitch, Serena," I cut her off angrily. "You're just mad that I like Andi now. That's fucking pathetic."

She narrows her eyes. "Have fun being late, Baker."

I turn to walk off when I hear a voice, making me stop dead in my tracks. "When did you plan on telling me all of this?"

I turn and see Andi holding my notebook for Green's class that I had forgotten with her. "Andi, I-"

"You knew from the very first day I was here that she hated me because I knew you, and you didn't tell me?" she says quietly. "When I would ask you why would she do things like this, and you'd just shake your head and give me false assurances, you knew something as vital as this, and you didn't bother to mention it?"

I kept my mouth closed, unable to speak. "Zacky, I just told you everything, and you still sat and kept your mouth shut? I've gotten worse since this all started happening and you could have stopped this!"

"I never meant for any of this to happen, Andi, I promise. I ca-"

"When you came over on Friday, I was going to start cutting again, because I couldn't handle it anymore. But then you showed up, and made me forget why I would ever pick up a razor again. But you... I can't believe this!" she cries, throwing the spiral at me.

"Andi, please-"

"I wish I had never even met you, Zacky! Get away from me!" she yells, yanking open the art room's door and slamming it shut behind her.

I sigh and pick up the notebook, and angrily push open the doors that led outside. In the span of five minutes, the girl I liked had gone from liking me to hating every fiber of my being. And I deserved it. I should have just told her everything.

When Jimmy said we all had demons, he wasn't lying. Perhaps mine weren't the same as Andi's, but they were definitely bad. I'd tried so hard to forget about that night, about my friendship with Serena, about anything to do with her, and now it was coming back to bite me in the ass. All because of that stupid fucking bonfire freshman year; because I was too young and naive to own up to my mistakes; because, even though I had been in a relationship with Serena, and she had cheated, I blamed the girl that didn't even know how to start a fire for letting it get out of control.

Because I wasn't man enough, to this day, to own up to my mistakes, I know had someone who wasn't even involved with the shit that went on that night, paying for my mistake. I was the reason why Serena is the way she is, because I had done what she's been trying to do for nearly two years in two days; I made the entire school hate her.

My friends knew why I hadn't confessed anything. While Serena had bought her way out of the lawsuit that resulted, I, on the other hand, didn't come from a family that had a lot of money. My parents had three kids to raise on a tiny salary; they couldn't afford to pay the fines, let alone hire a lawyer for arson/damage of public property lawsuit. I just couldn't do that to my parents.

I was in too deep, and I had known it for a while. I didn't think my past would ever affect Andi in any way. yet, here we are. I remembered Andi's first day here, and seeing her for the first time and thinking that if I didn't talk to her, I'd die, because I had never seen anyone as pretty as she. And now I felt like I would die, because I knew that I probably wouldn't be able to ever have her friendship, or anything more, again.

I did my usual trip around the school, stuffing the pink detention slips into the memo boxes on each teacher's door before making my way back, sitting in the waiting area of the large office, my mind everywhere but here. Next thing I know, a flash of red appears in the office, quickly signing out before running out the doors. I recognized Andi from anywhere, and there she ran to who I assumed was her older brother. She turns and shoots me one pained look before climbing into the red Mustang and driving away.

"I'm sorry..." I mutter under my breath as I stared out the doors, heaving a sigh. "I'm sorry."