Don't Give up on Me

"I'm sorry," was a common text I received many times this week. I lost count of how many times Zacky had called and texted me, but I wasn't anywhere close to accepting his attempts to reach me. He knew what he did, and now he was going to pay the consequences.

I wasn't nearly as angry at Zacky as I was on Monday. The anger faded and the only thing I felt was hurt. I had been completely honest with him, and yet, he couldn't do the same.

My heart had skipped a beat when he said he liked me - but if he really did have feelings for me, then why would he put me through something like this? He knew this would happen as soon as he even talked to me, and he had so many chances to confess to me that his past with Serena is why my life was awful now, but he chose to lie and keep it all to himself. And that hurt so much more than I thought it would. It was as if I wasn't worthy of his honesty, which made me question more things.

Needless to say, I was miserable this entire week. Charlotte came and spent a couple of nights over at my house, since everyone else was out of town with their families for Thanksgiving. And yes, I had thought about how they all could have told me this long ago, but I quickly put that thought to rest because 1) they wouldn't betray Zacky like that because 2) it wasn't their place to tell me something as private as the fire. Charlotte had, however, told me the details she did know, and stuck up for Zacky while also sympathizing with me.

Basically, Zacky, Serena, Charlotte, and a couple of others were having a bonfire in the park and after a few too many drinks, Zack lost control of the fire and it burned down a nearby playground. Zacky and Serena also seemed to be having relationship problems at the time, so he blamed everything on Serena. Word of mouth brought the police into it, and even though the evidence would have went towards Zacky, Serena took the fall; although, she had made the same threat she had made to me: she would make his, and anyone close to him, life hell. And that she did, doing everything she could to get her revenge.

"You see, when you came along, you weren't supposed to be in this at all," Charlotte had said, frowning. "When she got you arrested, it was supposed to be a warning. And since the whole fire wasn't really my fault, I couldn't tell you why she was doing this. I kept telling Zacky that if he wanted to stay friends with you, then he'd have to tell you sometime. I'm sorry you had to find out this way..."

"Well, Serena got what she wanted. I'm out of the picture now. I hope she's fucking proud of herself," I had replied bitterly, wiping away a tear that had escaped.

I shook my head at the memory, sighing as I gathered my car keys, finally fixed and free of spray paint and all the damage caused by Serena. Peeling out of my driveway, I speed quickly to school, ready to get this day over with.

American History was filled with reviewing for the upcoming semester final, which actually took my mind off of everything for once. I ended up finishing my packet early for once, and had started studying when the bell to leave for 6th period rang out. My heart skipped a beat, but not out of excitement to see Zacky, like it used to. Instead, I was terrified of seeing him, let alone sitting next to him for an hour and a half.

I take a deep breath as I step into the room and slide onto the stool beside him, preoccupying my time with getting my materials out as Mr Talley set up the powerpoint we were to go over today. The tension between us was so thick, a knife couldn't even cut it. And I almost felt like should apologize for reacting the way I did, just so we could be friends again, but I quickly shook that thought out of my head because I had honestly done nothing wrong. This relationship was fucked from the start, unfortunately.

"I called you," he says, "and texted. Look, I'm really sorry-"

"You know, I thought you were different," I say quietly. "I really did. But I just don't know about you anymore..."

"I can explain everything, Andi, please, just give me a chance?" he pleads, his eyes burning with intensity.

"I don't know about that right now..." I sigh, my eyes averting from his.

"Look, we don't even have to ever talk again after this. The least I can do is tell you everything about what happened that night, and if you would prefer ignoring me some more, then so be it. But at least hear me out, Andi," he says softly, the bell ringing.

Everything he said sounded appealing. Not speaking to him for a week was terrible, even if it was from my own choosing. But I was still hesistant; my wall was back up and I wasn't sure I should let him in again so easily.

I take a risk and scribble out a place on the paper. "Meet me here at 6. I have practice after school, though, so I might be a little late."

He smiles in relief, stuffing the paper into his pocket. "Don't think I'm not still mad at you," I tell him, making him chuckle. "Because I want to punch you in the face right about now."

"I guess I deserve that," he sighs as class starts up. We don't speak for the rest of the period, since this class, too, was a review for the final exam. Spanish was filled with the same awkward silence, and when I was finally in dance last period, I felt so relieved. Not only to be rid of the painful tension between Zacky and I, but also because I had my probation from the team lifted, meaning I could participate again. The excitement I felt as I quickly changed was overwhelming, my legs yearning to move again.

Even if the music was shitty.

Competition season was coming up in January, and since our football team sucked this year, we no longer danced at the games. So now, all Linda could think about was our qualifying competition at the end of this month, and if we qualified, we had our first meet of the new year nearly a week after. And since she'd gotten Violet, Serena, and I back onto the team, Linda was in overdrive during class, and even more so in practice. We had to master three new routines for qualifying, use those for the competition after, and each of us had to audition a freestyle at qualifying. Only ten of the thirty of us could move on, meaning that this was a huge deal.

And although Serena and I had our ongoing animosity towards each other, it seemed to be cast aside for this practice, as she had fallen down once and I instinctively helped her up. When I had messed up on one of the dances, she showed me the right way without any hesistation, even grinning when I got it down right after. I had to admit, it was a nice feeling to not have this hatred fueling between us, but I couldn't help but think it was because she'd won her game.

I shrugged it off, continuing to dance until 5:45 came around. Relieved to pack my things and head to my car, I quickly left the room and put my things away in the back of my SUV.

"Hey Andi," Serena called out to me, jogging over. "You uh, did really nice today."

I give her an odd look. "Thanks? I'm, uh, gonna go now."

"Wait, Andi," she says, grabbing my arm. "Can we talk for a minute?"

"No," I say honestly. "I really don't want to talk to you."

She sighs. "Well I don't blame you for that. I just wanted to tell you that I'm, well, uh..."

"You're what, Serena?" I urge, "I have to get going, so spit it out."

"I'm sorry," she mumbles. "For everything."

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" I ask in disbelief, shaking my head.

"No! No, its not," she says. "I just, well, I finally told my mom that it was I that ruined your car and stuff, and she told me I should apologize, so, yeah..."

"Thanks?" I say with a raised eyebrow. "Um, I'm gonna go now."

"Yeah, you should..." she shakes her head, pulling her hoodie closer to her. "See you at practice tomorrow."

"Yeah..." I say awkwardly, then climb into my car and reverse out of the lot.

Utterly confused, I drive over to the beach near my house and park, lock my car, and begin walking towards the spot I was to meet Zacky at. It was on the large rocks near the pier, where the water didn't reach, even during the tides. I felt incredibly nervous, the butterflies in my stomach tackling each other as I climbed to the top of a flat rock.

I check the time. 5:59. He should be here soon, I think to myself.

I just hoped I wasn't making a mistake by doing this.