Don't Give up on Me

I sat on my window bench, holding the unopened envelope in my hands. I was failing miserably at getting the courage to open my mother's letter, mainly because it had arrived in a large, tan legal envelope, sealed by a mere metal pronged brad. I was so afraid of what could come from this, if she truly cared, if she just wanted to cut me off again. I just didn't have the guts to open it, sadly.

Ryan was acting weird. He kept coming in at thirty minute intervals asking if I'd read my letter yet. When I'd say I hadn't, he'd just shake his head and walk out, then repeat it all again. His eyes were still pretty red from crying, so I knew this was serious.

I take a deep breath. I should just get this over with, I thought to myself. Unlatching the prongged brad, I turn the envelope upside-down and dump out the contents. Notebook pages stapled together with my mother's loopy handwriting, and two thick packets of legal documents. Trying to keep my panic at bay, I set aside the legal stuff and focus on the letter, sighing.

"Dear Andi,

I know I am probably the last person you would like to hear from, for I have wronged you in more ways than a mother ever should. But, I can't bear this silence between us anymore -- even if I'm the cause of it.

Andria Maria, you may not believe this, butI miss you each and every day. I miss baking cupcakes for you and your dance teams' sleepovers; I miss singing horribly while we drive to your granparents house in the Valley; I miss hearing about your days, and what boy caught your eye, and how much you hate homework. I miss how close we used to be, mija, I truly do. Watching Desiree grow before my eyes everyday makes me nostalgic for when you were doing the same. She's just like you, Andi. She's just as stubburn and twice as energetic for a two year old, and her hair is as wildly thick as yours, only its black like her father's.

Unfortunately, before I could finish this letter, I learned devastating news regarding your Grandpa Mark. Sadly, he's been diagnosed with cancer in the brain, and doctors say he doesn't have much time. Your Grandma Luce is devastated, and needs my help, so I am staying here at her house while she braves this with your grandfather. Since they say he has less than a year, and his mind is deteriorating rapidly, I've decided to file for legal consent for you to come down during your Spring Break and see your grandfather one last time before he gets sicker. Plus, we all miss you so much, Andria, it would be so great to have you back down here again.

I love you, mi hija, so, so much, and I hope to see you soon.

Love,

Mom."

Tears were freely falling as I finished the letter, my heart crumbling into a million pieces. Ryan must have heard my sobs, because he walked in and held me as I cried into his shoulder, putting aside our differences for once and leaning on each other for comfort.

Our grandfather was dying. The man that fought for our country's freedom, the man that worked as a mechanic to support a family of seven and two grandchildren, the man that taught me how to ride a bike and helped me fix it, was dying. He'd taken Ryan and I down to South Padre Island to go fishing twice every summer until we both felt too old to do so anymore. He helped raise me, and now he was on his deathbed. I couldn't believe it. He was the strongest man I knew, yet now, he was so weak. "Andi, I'm so sorry," my brother says as my sobs ease away, being replaced by sniffles.

"For what?" I ask in confusion, pulling away and reaching for a tissue on my nightstand.

"For being your idiot big brother and being a total dick to you because you're growing up," he says quietly, taking my original spot on the bench. "Mom wrote to me about how she always admired that I always got along with you and how I always made sure you were taken care of, and I sat back and realized that I was doing the complete opposite and how much I hated it. I'm sorry, Andi, you're my baby sister, and I just want the best for you. I don't wanna see you heartbroken over a guy and end back up in the hospital, or even worse, dead..."

I stare at him in shock; the brother I loved and missed was back. "I accept your apology," I tell him, then add, "but that's the thing I've been trying to tell you-- I am growing up. I'm almost 17, Ry, and while I was in a very bad place before, I've found someone to help me out of it. And for that, you should be cheering rather than despising him. I like him, a lot, Ryan, and he makes me the happiest girl in the entire world. You can trust me when I say this: I am never going back to room 213 at Sundance Rehab & Mental Care Facility. That place was hell on Earth and I am detirmined to never return to anything similar for as long as I live, okay?"

"I trust you," he says, then reaches over and gives me a bone-crushing hug. "What are these?" he asks, referring to the legal packets on the bench.

"Um..." I try to reply, but I also didn't have a clue. "I assume one is for the visitation she's asking for..."

"Looks like the other one is the same copy of Gramps' will I got," he says, sighing. "He left us a lot, you know."

"Like what?" I ask.

"His records, the player, I got his Harley, you got his Mustang-"

"I got the '67?!?" I ask in shock, looking at the paper in disbelief. "But Gramps loves that car, why would he-"

"Because you've loved that car since the first time you rode in it, same with me and the Harley. He wants us to have good memories of him when he's gone," Ryan quickly explains, making it all click.

"Gramps knew he was sick a long time ago, didn't he?" I ask aloud, already knowing the answer. I got my stubborn will from the old man; no matter how hurt or how sick he was, he'd try to pull through it as if it were nothing. It was why he insisted on earning his living rather than letting it be handed to him by marrying my grandmother; it was his way or the high way.

"Yeah, Gramps is a crazy old bastard," Ryan chuckles. "How are you feeling about seeing Mom again?"

"Nervous," I tell him honestly, my heart jumping at the thought of seeing her again. "But I have to go. For Grandpa's sake."

"I'll be going down with you, so you've got nothing to worry about,"he assures me. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah.. Yeah. I'm gonna call Zack, though, maybe have him come over..."

"Okay," he says. "I'll order a couple of pizzas for y'all. You know where to find me."

Just before he leaves my room, he looks behind him and says, "By the way, these walls are thin. I'm still your older brother, and I swear to God, if I hear anything, you're both dead."

I roll my eyes and laugh. "No worries, Ry."

********

Zacky POV

I looked at the clock anxiously, drumming my fingers on the countertop as I waited for seven o'clock to come. Why I decided to fill out this application to a shitty hardware store, I couldn't remember. But having your first day on the job, hungover, and having to deal with people and train for the job all in one was like making a bowl of cereal and realizing there's no more milk waiting in the fridge; you get really excited for it, but then what you wanted isn't actually there and you have to suffer. Having a job was nice, but it was a letdown to know I got just above minimum wage and had to deal with idiots for the entire day.

6:56. Time wasn't on my side today, it seemed. I look down at my cell and see a message from Andi, an involuntary smile replacing the plain look on my face.

"There's a pepperoni and sausage pizza from Mezzini's waiting here with your name on it if you're interested (: ," the message read. The thought of food alone made my stomach rumble, and before I could stop myself, I went ahead and said I'd head straight there.

"Listen, dude, I know you're a teenager, and texting the new cool thing, but you can't do that on the job," my boss, Alan, says as I clock out, making me groan internally. The 50 something dude made Mr Green's class seem fun, and that was saying a lot. "If I see that again, I'm gonna have to give you a write up to headquarters."

"Mmhmm," I nod in disinterest, unbuttoning the stupid red vest I was forced to wear and taking it off. "I'll see you at noon tomorrow."

"Don't be late! That's a write up if you are," he yells behind me. I resist the urge to flip him off as I walk into the parking lot, lighting a cigarette as I make my way to my car. Working sucked, but at least I made 50 bucks today alone. Ten minutes later, I quickly come home, change out of the crappy uniform I was forced to wear and into a pair of jeans and a tshirt and leaving as fast I had came and head over to Andi's next door.

I noticed her older brother was still here, making me scowl. He was such an asshole, and didn't treat her with the respect she deserved. To my distate, he was the one to answer the door. He steps aside and lets me in, no sign of malice or dislike in his mannerism, surprising me. "Before you go upstairs, can I talk to you for a sec?" he asks right before my foot hits the first step, making me sigh.

"What's up?" I ask dully, crossing my arms as I stood over him.

"I just wanted to say that I was sorry for judging you so harshly. I was just trying to look out for Andi, ya know? She's my baby sister and I've seen her get burned a few too many times, and I just want to protect her. So, yeah, I'm sorry," he says.

I blink back at him. "So, to 'protect her', you treat her like shit and smother her? Because that makes sense."

He laughs nervously. "I had good intentions, but I should've handled it better. I've already talked to her. I just wanted to apologize. Sorry, man."

He turns and walks into the kitchen, not waiting for a reply from me for a second. I shrug and jog upstairs, knocking once on her bedroom door before entering. Her usually bright room was dark, her only source of light the small lamp on the table by her bed. She was holding a piece of paper in her hands, wiping at her eyes as she read. "What's wrong?" I immediately ask, making her jump.

"I didn't even hear you come in," she laughs nervously, wiping at her eyes again.

I sit beside her on her large bed. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you. But, what's up? Why are you so upset?"

"Remember how we all talked about going on a road trip to S.D. for Spring Break?" she asks.

"Yeah, its the reason I got this shitty job in the first place,"I reply. "Why? What happened?"

"I can't go. I'm uh, going back to Texas that week to see my grandfather," she says quietly, her eyes watering again. "He's really sick, and my mom wants me down there before he gets worse..."

I hug her tightly as she starts to cry again. I hated seeing her like this. She'd been through too much to have to lose a family member right as she catches a break.

"I'm so sorry, baby," I tell her quietly as I held her. "Go be with your family, we'll be fine here. I'll make sure Jimmy and Violet don't kill each other while you're gone."

She chuckles into my chest. "I didn't mean to start crying again, how about we change the subject? How's the new job going?"

I rest my head on hers and groan. "I fucking hate it. My boss makes Mr. Green seem cool."

"I highly doubt he's that bad."

"No, he yells at me for the stupidest things! He told me to water the plants outside, so I did, and he came out and said I wasn't holding the hose right and went on a rant about how 'teenagers are too lazy for the work force'."

"So you're the bitch boy for now?"

"I'm pretty sure he'd fire me if he had a better staff."

"I'll take that as a yes," she grins, pulling away. "Its a good thing that you're cute, though, maybe they'll take it easy on you."

"You're really mean to me, you know that?" I tell her jokingly, making her nose scrunch up in annoyance.

"How am I mean? I just called you cute and I'm cuddling with you! Plus, I'm giving you pizza. That's not mean, that exceptionally generous of me," she argues. "I don't have to do any of those things, you know."

"I was joking, babe," I laugh, kissing her quickly.

She returns the kiss. "Better be," she murmurs, biting her lip. "Now come on. I'm sure you're starving after a day of being the bitch boy."

I groan. "Please don't call me that."

She laughs. "Are you coming or not?"

I get off her bed and take her hand. "Let's go."