Don't Give up on Me

My mother left the Monday following my birthday, and after a much-needed day with her and my sister, I felt whole again. Things were still grim with my grandfather, but I've finally accepted that I couldn't do anything about it. The only thing I wanted was for his pain to end.

My Grandma had arranged to sell my Grandpa's land and home to his brother, Diego, and was due to move up to Austin so she didn't have to commute twice a week from the hospital back into the Valley. I knew that my great uncle would put great use to the land and keep the house as it was; he, too, enjoyed the nostalgia he received.

To my surprise, Desiree had asked where Zack was when we explored the boardwalk and such that day. She was even disappointed to know that she wouldn't be seeing him that day, to which I had playfully agreed with. I told my mother about him saying he loved me, to which she rolled her eyes and said, "Tell me something I don't know," with a humor-filled smile.

I was upset to see her go so early, but I kept rolling on. Zack moved into his new place, and while it was in a shady neighborhood, it was perfect for him, Jason and Matt Berry, and Jimmy to live. It seemed that they all reconsidered letting the idiot Matt Wendt live with them, which relieved Jason's girlfriend Logan and I immensely. Sure, they were bound to get into some shit together regardless, but M.W. easily escalated situations that shouldn't be escalated in the first place.

Currently, I was still searching for a job but quickly losing hope. No place would hire me because I lacked job experience, yet, I needed job experience because it was my first job. Charlotte told me to start applying at restaurants, but the thing is, I knew what those were really like. I grew up in three different ones with my father, and I saw the chaos that everyone was dealt daily. There was no way I would work for a restaurant willingly.

That only lasted for about three days. I found myself driving to the food district and asking for applications. Waitress, hostess, dishwasher-- I was just about down to do whatever was needed at this point.

I guess life had a bit of a humorous side to it, because the only place that hired me was a Cajun-food chain restaurant that was five small steps away from being a sports bar. When I received my uniform, I felt almost sick. The T-shirt was cropped to rest just above my waist and I could wear any shorts of my choosing, as long as I wore my tiny apron, too. Of course Zacky loved it, to my disdain. I felt that around children bound to come in there with their parents, I was overexposed. And I hate that feeling more than ever.

Three months. Just deal with it for the summer, I told myself as I walked in on my first day, nerves riddled with anxiety as I went to the back office to clock in and get acquainted with everything.

"Oh, you poor thing," a girl around the age of 24 says as I prepared for the lunch-time rush to start. Her chocolate brown locks were shiny and healthy, and she had a toned, athletic build and a pretty face. She was perfect for the job here; she exuded more confidence than I felt right now. "Come here, Ron said I was to show you the ropes today. I'm Jourdan."

"Andi," I said quietly, her arm slinging around my shoulders comfortingly.

"Now, before I really get into this, I have to tell you one thing: a fresh face like yours does not belong anywhere near the bar. You can get drinks for your tables, but do not wait on the patrons there. Most of them can get very handsy, and while Ron says this is a family establishment, anyplace with a bar can get pretty rowdy. So, rule number one, steer clear from the bar."

"You don't have to tell me twice," I replied instantly, making her chuckle.

"Rule number two: don't bite off more than you can chew. Start off with three or so tables at a time and work your way up. I heard that you have restaurant experience from your father, so this should be the easiest rule."

I nodded, urging her to continue. "And lastly, rule number three and four: always wear a smile, and absolutely no hookups with your co-workers."

I resisted the urge to laugh. "I have a boyfriend, so that won't be a problem. I'm not even that type of girl."

"You didn't seem like it, either, but I'm required to make that known. Apparently, some people can't handle themselves." She shrugs, a small grin on her face. "Come on, I'm a hostess and server today so I want you to shadow me."

The day was hell. Our shift didn't end until eight that night, and we had started at noon, making it a full eight hours. Eight hours of pretending to be cheery in front of middle-aged men leering at me even though his wife and children were beside him; getting chewed out by an angry bleach blonde girl who thought I was flirting with her boyfriend; having my own boss look at me like I was a piece of meat. I wanted to quit so, so badly. I just couldn't handle it. So, I told that to Jourdan as we packed up our things in the cramped break room.

"Oh no. No, no, no, no. You can't quit!" she says, her eyes widening. "You can't leave me alone here. The other girl servers are bitches and love that those creeps look at them like they do. You and I are different, and you know, have self-worth. Please don't go."

"But-"

"Come on, don't make me beg here," she sighs. "Tell you what, give it a week and come back and tell me you want to quit. I know you'll change your mind."

"You're probably right," I sighed, following her out the back door.

"Do you wanna, like, go get some food or something? I'm starving."

"Sure."

After changing in the back of my car into a less-revealing shirt, I followed her to a coffeeshop and picked at a bagel while we sat and talked. Turns out, she wasn't as old as I thought she was. She was 19 and in the fall she would be in her sophomore year of university. She was an art major and lived in a self-proclaimed shitty apartment off 5th street with her gay best friend, Thomas. The only reason she put up with Bud's was because it was the only place she could get a wage to live on. She didn't have many friends, she said, because her personality tended to repel most people; brutal honesty wasn't for everyone.

I found myself telling her a ton of things about myself, about why I moved to California, about my art, etc. She was nice and understanding, despite not being able to filter what she said. I didn't mind that, actually, because she wasn't afraid to be herself.

And I desperately wanted to have that same confidence she carried about herself. As soon as I mentioned my friends, she brightened the slightest bit.

"They've all made it this far?! I honestly expected Sullivan to drop out after I graduate, if not, Baker... Damn. You're dating him too, right?" I nodded. "He never dated anyone when we went to school together. Then again, I don't blame him for what happened with that one chick, Serena, was it?"

"Oh yeah, she's also my soon to be stepsister..."

"What?! Jesus Christ, you're in for a load of-"

"She's not that bad anymore. She's even reconciled with the majority of them, including Zack."

"Wow," she mutters, sitting back and grinning. "I'm shocked. But, time changes people, I guess. That's crazy. I never thought you'd know them when you walked in earlier today."

I shrugged. "Looks can be deceiving."

"Hell yeah!" she agrees, finishing the last of her latté. "Well, I've got to go. Thomas just went through a break-up and I'm the one who needs to pick up the pieces and cuddle him until he feels well enough to mope about it."

I laughed. "Call me, we should hang again, outside of Bud's."

"For sure," she agreed before we exchanged numbers. "Bye!" she called over her shoulder, hurrying out of the coffee shop and to her car.

I did the same, my feet aching and my head pounding. My arms and lower back were already sore from carrying heavy trays of food, and I was pretty sure that I shouldn't have been that out of shape on my first day. I used to dance for hours for crying out loud, but I couldn't handle a day at work. That needed to change pretty quick, I thought as I drove to Zack's apartment, where I was staying for the night. I needed to keep at it. If Zack could stand to work shift after shift at that shitty hardware store, I could deal with serving food for a few months.

Easier said that done, I reminded myself as I parked in the lot of the complex the guys lived in. Reluctantly moving from where I sat, I picked up my bag and made my way up the flight of stairs to apartment 5D and made my way inside the air-conditioning, sighing immediately.

"How was your first day, Dee?" Jimmy asked, appearing from the kitchen, drink in hand. Ever since he heard Desiree call me that, he's used it as a nickname, among the many others he has for me. It brought a small smile to my face temporarily.

"Horrible. This bitch chewed me and a co-worker out for being nice to her boyfriend for not being an asshole, and my boss is an old creep. But hey, I made it home!" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm towards the end as I walked to Zack's room to set my bag down. "Is he still working?"

"Yep. Everyone's out. Just you and me, Red." He then pulls me in for a hug, and Lord knows that I needed one pretty badly right then. "I'm sorry, Andi, that does suck."

"It's a job, though, right?" I shrugged after he let me go. I followed him back out to the living room and sat next to him on the couch. We made small talk for a while and ordered a pizza while we waited for the others to arrive. I must have caught Jimmy on one of his rare relaxed days. Normally, we'd be out running around on the streets of downtown right about now, but here we were, watching an X-Men movie at 9:35 on a Wednesday night. I didn't mind for once, because I was so tired from working. I almost fell asleep right then, but just as my eyes closed, Zacky walked in with two boxes of pizza. The smell alone was enough to wake me up and eat three slices.

"That bad, huh?" Zack asks, eying me curiously. I nodded, letting my hair down.

"I'm going to bed," I told them both after I finished my food, changing my clothes and crawling into Zack's bed, my eyes closing as soon as I properly laid down. Minutes later, right as I was finally drifting off into sleep, I felt the springs groan slightly as Zack laid next to me, his arm secure around my waist as I slept.