Don't Give up on Me

"It's funny how things can change in only a year," Serena said as we drove on the highway, towards L.A. "Last September, we were sending each other death glares in the art room. Now look at us. We're going to legally be step-sisters by four o'clock today."

"I've had worse," I teased, making the both of us laugh. Her words couldn't be more true. It wasn't hard to forget her bratty past, but the person that she is now was far better than before. I truly did admire her, and was glad to have her apart of my family.

"I know that today's gonna be hard for you and Ry, but just know that your mother isn't even angry about it, so neither should you," she said. "Just be glad that your dad has moved on... even if he did repeat his anniversary for his second marriage."

I shrugged. "I just hope he doesn't expect me to be oblivious to that fact. But, I'll be on my best behavior."

"Good girl," she grins, patting my knee like her mother did when she approved something.

To be honest, I was extremely nervous about how the day would play out. Ryan wasn't too excited to be one of Dad's groomsmen, and I wasn't keen on being a bridesmaid, either. I was obviously doing it so I wouldn't come off as rude or unaccepting of the inevitable change, and Ryan was doing the same. But, this was the first major event in a while that Zacky hasn't been with me for, and it made me nervous for some unknown reason.

But, I was taking my cousin Ariana's advice and not depending on him for every little thing. I was basically an adult for Christ's sake, and I knew I needed to be able to revert back to my natural independence when necessary.

I missed him, though. I was at the stage in our relationship that I craved his company more than I would ever admit out loud, and that certainly didn't help my attempt at being more independent. Serena tried to make me feel better and said she felt the same when it came to Austin, but it only helped a little. I feared that he was growing tired of me, but I also knew that I was being terribly paranoid, too, my worst habit of all. So, I continued to miss him and told people I was just tired when they saw my blank expressions.

We arrived at the Hilton at one p.m. and quickly took our bags and dresses up to suite 504 to start getting ready for the big day. When we arrived in the large room, Laura sat in a large suede armchair, her long blonde hair wrapped in a towel, fresh out of the shower. She brightened when she saw us both, standing to give us each a hug. Her silk robe felt luxurious, just like her entire lifestyle; the same lifestyle my dad would now be acquiring in a matter of hours.

"Have a seat, girls. The stylists should be here soon," Laura said as Paige and her sister, Lorraine, entered the living space from the bedroom. Lorraine was the spitting image of Laura, from the same look of warmth in their smiles to the way they carried themselves. Then again, they were identical twins, and the only difference between them was the shade of blonde in their hair; Lorraine's was a natural platinum one gets from working in the sun, while Laura's was the same golden shade Serena and Paige both inherited from her. I had only met her once, on the night of my father's surprise proposal to Laura, and hadn't seen her since, due to my avoidance of my father at all costs. However, she still gave me an equally vibrant and excited hug that Laura had before and complimented my hair like she had the last time.

The stylists arrived fifteen minutes later, and I let myself relax as Blaise worked his magic. We were separated from the others, as we were pushed into the bedroom while the other stylists claimed the large bathroom before he could. That didn't stop him, though, and he went to work as I sat on the soft cushioned bar-stool he brought along. He asked the usual questions a hair stylist does; "Do you have a boyfriend and if so, what is his name?" and "Are you a natural redhead?", and my personal favorite, "You're only seventeen?!"

"Yep, I've just started my senior year," I told him with a chuckle, the look of disbelief on his face reflected into the three foot wide mirror over the bureau.

"I thought you were at least twenty two!" he said in surprise. "You seriously don't strike me as a seventeen year old in high school. You just have the aura that you're already in university and you know exactly what you're doing."

I laughed. "Far from that, actually. I have no clue if I'm even going to university, let alone what I'm doing after I graduate."

"But you said you're an artist. Why not carry out that craft?" he asked as he sectioned off the many layers my hair had. "I mean, if you really love it, then what's stopping you?"

"Nothing's stopping me. I just don't know where I'd go to keep on studying art. There are so many schools; it's so hard to choose."

"Well, you've got UCLA not too far from this very hotel, and then there's USC, too. I don't think Berkeley would be a good fit for you, personality wise..." He tapped his chin and was quiet for a moment, thinking. "Art Institutes are literally everywhere. And of course, there's New York, but that's kind of far..."

"Yeah," I immediately agreed, although the thought appealed to me so much. I hadn't told anyone this (not even Zack) that ever since Rachel had started talking about New York the first day back at school that it hadn't left my mind, that I had researched schools in New York, because I was so attracted and curious towards the city. NYU had gained my interest the most, but even I knew that it was out of my league, as far as universities went. My grades were average and my class rank wasn't nearly high enough to get in, no matter my SAT scores. The art program was everything I've ever wanted, and terribly expensive as well. I couldn't even fathom leaving Zack or anyone behind, anyways. But I still dreamed of walking the streets of New York almost every day, no matter what I told myself.

"You'll find the place you're meant to go eventually, don't worry your pretty little head about it," he cooed as he took a small strand and pressed it between the two hot ceramic plates of the flat iron and then twisted it, making a curl. I smiled at him in response, but I didn't fully believe him.

"Alright, Miss Andria, you're all done," he said an hour later, moving over so I could examine myself in the mirror. Somehow, my copper color hair looked richer and healthier than before. He curled my hair and pinned the top half back, and my makeup was very muted and neutral to go with the dark blue dress for the ceremony. I got up and hugged him, thankful that he had done this for me. Laura then paid the stylists and they all packed up and left as we then started to put our dresses on, hurrying to get it all done before 3:30, because the ceremony started at four.

After zipping each other up, Serena and I turned to see Lorraine lacing up the corset of the beautiful white ball gown that Laura picked. It had a simple sweetheart neckline and the only embellished part of the gown was the smallest touch of beading right along the waist, before the silk fabric changed into the airey material that was the bottom half. Her hair was down and in curls, too, but hers were unpinned, instead held back firmly with a silver headband. Needless to say, she looked absolutely stunning.

Laura beamed when her sister finished lacing the corset, just as a knock sounded on the door. My uncle Richie's face appeared a second later, and he smiled warmly at everyone, except for me. He still held the same distaste he had for me since I was born, for having Hispanic blood mixed with the Irish and Welsh combination that he and my father were. It never really offended me; I've known for a long time that my father's family was full of racists, and that he was not going to be fully forgiven for marrying a Mexican before he met Laura. The only time I got offended was when it came to his parents, because they didn't have a filter, while the rest of the family didn't say anything directly to my face.
Still, I looked more white than I did Hispanic, so I didn't understand why there was a distaste, other than the fact that I shared features with my mother.

"This is from Kyle," he said, handing Lorraine a teal Tiffany & Co. box for Laura. She then produced a smaller black box and gave it to him to deliver back to him.

Laura opened the box and yelped in surprise. "I can't believe he got this," she said, covering her mouth in surprise. "This will go perfect with my dress."

I finally got a look and gasped, too. It was a simple silver chain, with a feather pendant at the end, but with diamonds along the base and travelled up, the silver parts looking just like an actual feather.
She quickly fastened the clasp behind her neck and everything then seemed complete about her. Her "something old" were her diamond studs in her ears; the new item her necklace. She borrowed a pair of Loubotins from Lorraine and she dressed us each in blue.

"Let's have a wedding," she said, clapping her hands together in excitement.

**************************

With the vows said and being recognized in the state of California, the Dawson's and the Lawson's were now merged in holy matrimony. Thankfully, Laura was dropping her late husband's name and keeping Dawson instead, so at least she didn't have to have the mouthful of rhyming last names.

The reception was well under way at the McMansion, much like the proposal night as well. I changed into a lighter, shorter blue lace skater dress for the reception, and so did Serena, only hers was made of chiffon. While she chatted with cousins she hadn't seen in a while, I sat alone at one of the tables, bored out of my mind. None of my father's family would even speak to me, and Laura's family didn't know me nearly enough for me to join in the festivities with them. Ryan was showing off his new girlfriend, Maya, who looked as if she walked right off a runway, she was that pretty.

I sighed and picked at the melon still on my plate, feeling utterly alone although I was surrounded by two hundred other people. It was barely 9:30 and I already wished that the night was over, just because I felt that bored. Zack was probably just getting home from work, and was probably getting ready to go out as I sat. I wished I could join him, but he was on the other side of town, and I was stuck here, forbidden to leave before midnight. I internally debated if it would be deemed rude if I went inside and watched a movie in the living room, but decided against going inside altogether.

The dancing couples spin around and around only a few feet away, my father and Laura included. Everyone looked so blissful, happy, vibrant. Meanwhile, I felt nothing at all, except for maybe a bit of envy, since they were all enjoying themselves.

I finally let my mind wander, towards the city that never sleeps. Walking down a busy sidewalk, snow crunching beneath my boots as I hurried to find a place of warmth; toward a tiny studio apartment that was barely functioning, but enough to sustain me; toward my own gallery in Brooklyn, packed with people who loved my style.

Something landed in the glass of water in front of me, chasing my daydream away. I raised an eyebrow at the small pebble inside, then jumped when another plopped in beside it. My head snapped up and met a pair of green eyes that I knew much too well. He leaned over the railing, grinning down at me.

I hurried up the steps attached to the balcony as fast as I could in five inch heels and pulled him inside. "They will kill you if they knew you were here," I hissed as the white French door slammed shut.

He ran a hand through his recently cut hair, which suited him almost as much as the shag that had been there only a day before, and sighed. "Do you not want me to be here? Because I can leave..."

"No, no, I want you to stay," I replied quickly. "But, you know how my Dad can be, and my grandparents, even if they do like you now..."

"I know," he sighs again, then looks me over. "Goddamn, you look beautiful, babe."

I couldn't help but blush. "Thank you," I replied quietly. "What are you even doing here, though? I thought you'd be out with Vi and Jimmy tonight."

"They ditched me for Cara."

"What?! She's in town?"

"Nope, they went to her dorm."

"Oh." I frowned. I hadn't heard much from her, other than the information that Jimmy relayed to me or the few texts I'd get here and there from her directly. I missed her a lot, but I didn't try to dwell on it. It was probably unintentional, anyways.

We both looked out at the party below, still going strong although it was nearly ten p.m. My father and Laura still stood out against the crowd of dancing couples, and I noticed that Serena and her cousins had disappeared. I wondered if that meant that I could leave, too.

Apparently, so did Zacky, as he asked if I wanted to go with him. I didn't even have to think about it; of course I wanted to be with him. We quietly snuck down the hallway into the bedroom that I had stored the things I brought with me and tried to walk out as quietly as possible, just because I had no idea if anyone would be angry if I left before my father gave the verbal approval. I thanked God that Laura had more carpet than hardwood in her upstairs, so each click of my heels didn't reverberate throughout the house with each step.

Once we were back outside in the cool September night air, I felt much better than before. It seemed that no matter what, we always seemed to gravitate back toward each other when we were apart; when I'd stay until midnight at the studio painting, he come in after practice and just watch me work until we were both struggling to stay awake; when he'd go to jam with Jimmy and Matt, I'd find myself swinging by, just as in awe of him in his element as he was of I. My fear of him growing bored with me was automatically cast aside as he held onto me tightly while we wove through cars upon cars to get to his own. As we finally drove towards the opposite side of town, I couldn't help but wonder if we'd have a future like the scene we left someday.