Don't Give up on Me

"I am so disappointed in you, Andi," my dad says for the millionth time tonight as we drive home. "Your little drunken excursion has put me into debt, God damn it!"

"Look, Dad, I had ONE drink. I wasn't even drunk. I didn't want to be at the party, so I left. The one time I do something smart..." I mutter angrily.

"Smart?! You think trespassing on private property is fucking smart?! I raised you better than this, Andria! You've gotten two $600 tickets and I have a $500 dollar fine. I trusted you to be at your friend Charlotte's house tonight, but instead, you get arrested. Are you fucking proud of yourself?" he yells when we're stopped at a stoplight. I flinch at the harshness of his words.

I knew he was disappointed, I knew he was mad, but he's never been this angry. The wait for him to come up to the station was painful, and after getting yelled at by policemen, my father, Zacky's parents, and even Matt's lectured us all. I felt so awful for Zacky. Not only did he get the same curfew and trespassing tickets as I, but he also got a Minor in Possession charge under his belt because he insisted on holding my cigarettes. I told him not to, but he insisted that we would be fine and kept urging it.

My dad was also angry because the officer that arrested us called him a bad parent because I just couldn't seem to shut the fuck up. I always had a response to whatever the cop had to say, to his distaste, and needless to say, my dad didn't like it either. He said my father had no control over me, and he said I was, and I quote, "on my way to going onto the same path of a stripper if I wasn't careful."

My dad didn't like that remark one bit, and of course, they shouted for about a half hour over it. I felt so ashamed, so awful about myself. The only thing to keep me from snapping was Zacky; squeezing my hand whenever I'd flinch from a cop's words, or keeping his arm around me when we waited for our parents to show up. Before my dad finally made me leave, I gave his own hand a squeeze before I got up and walked out to my father's waiting car.

"No," I answer softly. "I'm really sorry, Dad, please, just stop shouting."

"I'm only shouting because I'm angry at myself, alright?" he sighs. "I don't want you to follow mine and your mother's footsteps, Andi. I don't want you to go through what we did. I just want the best for you, and this isn't it."

His words hit me like a blow to the gut; he hardly ever brought up my mom nowadays, and even if it was brief, I knew right away just how deep in trouble I was in. "I know, Dad. I'm so sorry."

"I think this is implied, but you're grounded. You're only to leave the house for school, dance, or unless I say otherwise. I would take your phone away, but I need to be able to reach you... But you're definitely going to have to earn my trust back."

"Fair enough," I sigh, unbuckling my seat belt. Zacky's parents' car pulls into the drive next door, and he quickly gets out and slams the door shut before hurrying inside the garage. A wave of guilt washes over me again. This was NOT how I wanted this night to turn out at all.

I make my way upstairs and into my shower, slowly washing away the sand and sweat from my body. My wrists were severely bruised from the handcuffs, making the shower more tedious than anything. I finally got out and wrapped a towel around my torso and hair, then tip-toed to my bedroom and got dressed in the dark. And as much as I tried, I couldn't sleep. The guilt ate me alive, chasing away any chance of closing my eyes.

I walk over to my built-in window bench and sit, looking out at Zacky's dark house. The sad look in his eyes haunted me. This was my fault, and I felt like shit. Barely two months here, and I've already gotten myself, and my friends into trouble. No wonder my mom didn't want anything to do with me; I was just a troublemaker.

In my blurred peripheral vision, I see something shift in the window across from mine. Seconds later, I see Zacky's shadowed form standing in my sight line, a grim look on his face. I pick up my phone and dial his number. He answers on the first ring.

"I'm so sorry," I say into the phone quietly, wiping away a tear.

"Don't be. Its nothing," he assures me quickly, leaning on the wall. "How bad is it for you?"

"I'm grounded from, like, everything. Not to mention that my Dad wants to kill me...."

"But you're still allowed to hangout with me, right?" he asks.

"I think so?"

"Good," he says, sounding relieved. "It'd suck not having you around."

"And you? How bad?"

"Well, my parents are none too pleased that I had two packs of cigarettes on me," he sighs. "I'm grounded too. They're threatening to take my amps away and all that bullshit that I know they won't do. I think they're just more mad at the fact that when I called, it woke them and my siblings up after midnight."

I glance at the clock on my nightstand and widen my eyes. It was almost 5 in the morning. God, this was bad. Bad, bad, bad.

"I feel awful, I really do. Its all my fault, and I-" I begin, but he cuts me of before I could seriously babble.

"Don't blame yourself, Andi. If we had stayed at the party, there's still a chance we could've gotten arrested there, too. Its fine, I promise," he assures me. "I actually had a good time tonight, so thank you."

"How was getting arrested a good time?" I ask.

"They say if you get arrested together, its meant to be," he says, and even from all the way over here, I can see his smirk. "Plus, you know, you pissed off that cop pretty bad. That was hilarious."

"It was funny until he called my dad a bad parent for it," I sigh in response. "He doesn't even trust me anymore.."

"Mine don't either. But it'll work out. His anger is only temporary, trust me. He'll come around eventually," he says quietly. "You should get some sleep, its pretty late."

"Yeah," I say relunactantly. "I'll see you at school."

"'Night Andi," he says.

"'Night," I reply before hanging up and moving towards my bed.

Somehow, I slept all the way through Sunday into Monday morning, waking up an hour before my alarm was set to go off. My stomach growled angrily at me, so I went downstairs to go make myself something to eat, since my father would still be asleep- he didn't have work on Mondays.

After making myself a bowl of oatmeal and a protein shake, I eat it quickly before showering and getting ready for my day. I noticed that I had a few texts from Zacky, Charlotte, and the others, but they weren't anything other than "you alright?" and such, so I didn't reply. I grimaced at the sight of my purple wrists while I applied my makeup; it only reminded me that everything actually happened.

Ready only ten minutes earlier than usual, I pack up my bookbag and dance bag and head downstairs, grabbing a travel mug for my coffee before leaving. I walked outside to see Zacky leaning against my SUV nonchalantly, looking at something on his phone. He looks up at me and smiles as I lock my front door.

"They took my car away," he says sheepishly.

"I'm surprised my dad didn't take away mine. Get in," I tell him, throwing my stuff in the backseat.

"Holy shit," he says when he looks at my wrists. "That looks painful."

"It is," I pout playfully. Seeing him not looking so sad made my mood change quickly. "But its whatever, I bruise really easily."

"God, that cop was a dick," he mutters angrily. "I seriously wanna punch him in the face for treating you so roughly. That shit's whatever if it a guy, but he shouldn't be treating a girl like that, regardless of the case."

I smile at his cute little grumbles; the fact that he was getting defensive over me made me unbelievably happy, because no guy has ever stood up for me like he had just now and on Saturday night. "Its fine, Zee, its in the past now. "

"Doesn't make it anymore okay," he sighs as I pull into the school parking lot. We both step out after I park, I grab my bags, then head off to first period. On the way, hushed whispers and dark looks were cast upon us. I look at him in confusion; he only shrugs in response. We sit in our seats at the back of Green's classroom and wait for the bell to ring.

Matt walks in looking terrible. He had deep, dark circles and a busted lip that looked painful. He sees us and widens his eyes before slyly sending us both a text message.

"Have you guys heard the shit that's being said about you two?" it read.

"No," I tentatively sent back. Instantly my phone buzzes again.

"People are saying you two called in the party? And that you two snuck off to fuck and got caught. I know that isn't true, but those are just a couple of things that have been spread," his message read. We both look at him in disbelief, though he's busy typing away again.

"Talk to Violet in 2nd period. She'll be able to tell you more, if you wanna know." it said. The bell rings, so I hastily put my phone away, running a hand through my hair nervously. Just when I thought today might be okay, I find out this shit. This was not okay. At all.

"Are you okay?" Zacky asks. I nod quickly, even though he knew I wasn't.

"Well. I'm glad to see you all here, on time, especially a few of you that were caught in some trouble this weekend," Mr Green addresses the class. Almost all eyes land on Matt, Zacky, and I, making my stomach churn uneasily. I could see the disgust in their eyes, the judgement in their sneers. I felt like crying all over again.

As Mr Green drones on another lecture about how important literature was, I felt myself quickly shutting myself down and away from Zacky's attempts to make me feel better. I didn't even know the bell had rang until he nudged me to stand.

"I hate everything," I say quietly, trying my hardest to keep my front up.

He puts an arm around my shoulders. "I know, I'm sorry. Don't listen to them, they aren't worth it, I promise."

"Its easier said than done," I say softly as we reach my 2nd period class. He pulls me in for a short hug before releasing me and looks me in the eye.

"Listen to me. Its going to be fine. They're just words. You and I both know they aren't true. Just keep your chin up, babe, it'll be fine," he assures me. I nod a couple of times before turning into my Algebra II classroom.

Charlotte sat next to a girl with shockingly dark hair that I didn't recognize. She looks up and I gasp to see Violet's sad blue eyes looking up at me. "Oh my God, Vi," I say quietly when I reach my seat. "What happened?!"

"My parents made me dye my hair back. They took away my car, my phone, my laptop- everything. I have to quit dance so I can do my community service, and-" she chokes on a sob. I wrap my arms around her shoulders. My problems seemed much more insignificant compared to her's, and I did all I could to comfort her.

"They've threatened to kick me out this time and I'm really scared they will," she whispers quietly, blinking away tears. "I just... I just don't know what to do."

"You'll stay with me, Vi, you know this," Charlotte tells her quietly. "My parents already know everything, and although they don't approve of what happened, they wont let you live on the street."

"I'm so sorry this happened," I say quietly. "I love you Vi, just don't blame yourself, okay?"

She doesn't answer, though she does take her head off of my shoulder and wipes away her tears. "Let's ask if we can work in the hallway, I don't feel comfortable talking about all of this in here," she says quietly, referring to a group of girls that were not-so-subtly listening in on our conversation. I recognized a couple as Serena's friends, while the others were on the cheer-leading squad. I didn't trust them one bit, so I took charge and briefly explained to Mrs Yorke that we couldn't work in this environment.

"Well, since you three actually get your work done, I don't see why not. But, go to the library; the principal has asked us not to send students into the hallway to work anymore," she says, scribbling out a hall pass for the three of us before handing it over. Smiling gratefully, we gather our things and head for the third floor.

One great thing about Huntington Beach High was is third floor. The old art and music floor was redone to become the biggest school library I've ever seen. Shelf after shelf of books lined its walls, and made aisles and aisles in the center. There were two large u-shaped tables for teachers to hold lecture classes here (although we had a lecture hall) and class discussions. The good vending machines were up here too, holding the real goodies- candy bars, Skittles, non-baked chips. There was one legit soda machine too, then the usual Gatorade and water filled one beside it. A couple of cozy looking couches, lounge chairs, and bean bag chairs were scattered around the room. The librarian and her office hide behind a large, dark wooden desk, rows of computers on either side.

"Sign in, and put your passes in the basket," Ms Leslie tells us, almost in a monotone. We do as we're told and walk to the very back corner, and although there weren't any chairs to sit in, it was still the safest place to talk.

"So what all are you charged with?" I ask Violet, her now dark hair in her eyes.

"There are so many, I just..." she sighs. "Basically, they're really pissed about having drugs and alcohol, the noise level of the party, and my parents are being charged with a lot of shit too."

"Thank God Joseph wasn't there," Charlotte murmurs. Joseph was Violet's 14 year old brother, who thankfully, hadn't been at the house at the time of the party, otherwise he'd be in just as much trouble as she.

"Like I said earlier, my parents are refusing to pay my tickets off," Vi sighs. "Not that I blame them, I deserve this. I'll just drop dance, get a job, and do community service..."

I frown. "I'll miss you, girl."

"Me, too," Charlotte adds.

"Isn't this cute?" we hear a female's voice say behind a shelf. The source of the voice walks into our sightline seconds later. "A slut, a criminal, and a undesirable all whining about their lives together."

"What do you want?" I groan.

"Nothing, nothing," she smirks. "How was spending the night in jail? Become anyone's bitch?"

"No," I reply with a roll of my eyes. "Better than spending it with you," Violet says at the same time.

"How was sex on the beach? Was it all you ever dreamed and more?" she asks me. I feel my temper raise. If she isn't careful, she'll walk out of here with a broken nose.

"I wouldn't know, because I didn't sleep with Zacky," I reply. "Thanks for spreading that around the school like you do with your Chlamydia, though, its appreciated."

She laughs. "You're welcome. Anything for a friend. See you in art, babe."

"Fuck you," I call after her, earning a stern look from Mrs Leslie. "God, I fucking hate her," I mutter quietly.

"Yeah, well, rumor has it, she's the one that called it in," Charlotte sighs. "You and Zack wouldn't have gotten even caught if it wasn't for her; she's the one that saw you two leave. The dock you were at is private property, but the owner doesn't give a shit if people go there. She's just being a bitch, honestly."

Violet groans. "If the rest of our so called friends on the dance team had shut their mouths and not told Serena about the party, I wouldn't be in this mess, nor would you two. If someone doesn't beat the shit out of her soon, I'll for sure be the one to do it."

The bell rings, signaling our next class. While Charlotte and Violet both hurry along to their classes on the second floor, I leisurely walk to my art class in the other building, not at all wanting another confrontation with Serena. Now that I knew that she was the root of why my friends and I were in this mess, I couldn't stop picturing her with a broken nose. Or a black eye. She'd been on my bad side before, but now, I wanted revenge. I wanted her to feel the overwhelming guilt all of my friends did. I wanted her to feel the same shame I felt. I wanted her to feel like as much shit as she'd made us feel.

Finally reaching the art room, I set up my materials and got to work on my painting of the large eye I was working on for UIL competition. Right now, I was just barely on the iris of the eyes, trying to blend each color together in harmony with this tempera shit was annoying. I, after about a days worth of legitimate though, had decided on painting the iris green. And honestly, it was because of Zacky's intriguing jade eyes. They were so inviting and complex that I couldn't do any boring blue or brown. His would suffice; only he wasn't to know of this project's existance, nor would he ever see it.

"Oh, the slut did show up to class today. Bravo!" I hear Serena sneer as I carefully mix white and green paint.

"Serena, its not healthy to talk about yourself like that," I reply, not looking up from the task I was doing. I heard a few classmates do the cliche "ooh"ing they always did.

"At least I don't have bruises from handcuffs. You're a fucking criminal," she says, making me snort.

"I'm pretty sure to be a criminal, you have to get consistent offenses against you. Saturday night was the first time I've been arrested, thank you very much," I snap quickly, looking up into her cold eyes. "And it was also the last."

She takes two strides and is in my face, her voice low. "I will make sure your life is living hell, Andi, you stupid fucking slut."

"What did I ever do to you? You've hated me since the second I moved here," I ask angrily, putting my shit down and standing. "I've done nothing to you and yet, you've just been a bitch this entire time."

"You're friends with Baker and his lot of friends. The only two decent people in that group are Brian and Matt, other than that, they're destined for failure. Violet is the stupidest person I've met, and Charlotte... oh God, don't get me started on that British twat," she replies fiercely, faking an English accent at the end.

"Want to keep talking more shit about my friends? Because I could say so fucking much about you."

"Like what?" she challenges.

"Well first off: you look like you're a homeless, white trash whore fresh off the street corner," I say, referring to her look. "Second, you sleep around and spread rumors like its the fucking Clap, and third, you're the worst fucking dancer on the team, always tripping over your own goddamn feet. Then again, you do come there fucked up on pills most of the time, so that explains it really."

"At least I didn't fuck Zacky Baker at the beach!" she screeches, signalling that I struck a nerve with my speech. Good. She deserves it.

"I think your mouth should be fucking quiet, because it never tells the truth," I spit towards her, turning on my heel and walking away.

"Andi, look out!" I hear my friend and fellow dance team member Cara shout towards me. I turn and duck just in time, as the same paint I had mixed previously came flying towards me and whirl past my head.

And lands on my easel, directly hitting my eye dead center.

"Oh, you've done fucked up now, bitch," I tell her, balling my fist as I walk towards her now cowering form. Before my hand can connect with that precious nose of hers, I feel arms wrap around me and pull me back.

"What the fuck? Let me beat the bitch's ass!" I yell to Cara, struggling against the tall blonde.

"Not today, bitch," Serena says as Mrs Jackson walks into the room.

"Andi! Serena! Office. Now," she yells sternly. I grab my things and walk angrily back into the first building, Serena taunting me along the way.

"I swear to fucking God, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'll break your goddamn jaw," I threaten her as we near the office.

"But you wont,"she grins as we walk inside.

"Oh dear," Mr Lowe sighs as we walk inside. "Mrs Jackson called about you two."

He takes me into his office first, calling the secretary to bring in my file. The student aide I saw shocked me.

"Oh man, Andi, did you hit her?" Zacky smirked at me as he handed my file to Mr Lowe.

"No," I reply bitterly. "I wish. Maybe then she'd shut up."

"Andria, stop. Zachary, stop instigating this," Lowe says sternly. "It says here that you've a history with fighting."

"We didn't even get into a full blown fight, it was more of a shouting match, then she threw paint at me, and then I tried to charge her, but got held back," I explain hastily.

"Go Andi," I hear Zacky chuckle as he leaned against the door, coughing when Mr Lowe looked at him.

"Well, after what I was informed of happening this weekend, it seems like you need to speak with a mentor, or counselor," Mr Lowe sighs. "Baker, doesn't Salazar have A-D students?"

"Yep," he answers. "Want me to take her to him?"

"That'd be great, thanks," he says, dismissing me.

"You do know that Linda is going to suspend you from the team, right?" he says quietly as we walk the halls. I knew he wasn't taking me to Salazar; not in the middle of his lesson.

"Really?" I ask, my eyes watering. Just when things seemed bad, they got worse, it seemed.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly, stopping. "Everything that's happened, I'm sorry its affected you as well. You don't deserve this."

"Well, neither do you!" I reply quickly, trying not to cry. "God, everything is fucked, isn't it?"

He nods, only causing my tears to fall. I drop my stuff and feel him pull me into his arms. Crying into his shoulder, I felt his arms hold me tightly, rocking me gently. I didn't care who saw anymore. Let the rumors circulate. My life was a fucking wreck, and it was all Serena's fault.