Promises

Once the funeral had passed there were no more excuses I had to go back to school. I still didn't want to talk to anyone and for a while my friends were okay with me being quiet all the time but too soon they started trying to get me to talk to them and I wasn't ready. I tried to explain why I didn't want to talk but I couldn't,I felt like there was a logical reason for why I didn't want to talk, I just didn't know what it was yet. But they took it all the wrong way and made it seem like I hated them because I would still talk to my cousin Ian, who was in the same class as me. I just couldn't talk to them because they wouldn't understand. Ian was always around the house and his mom died when he was a baby so my mom was like his mom too. My "friends" started avoiding me and complaining that I was too snooty for them, saying that the reason I didn't talk was because I felt that I was better than them. I don’t know where they got that idea but if they wanted to say that I didn't care. The way I saw it summer was pretty close anyway. April isn't to far from summer vacation I would just wait it out.
~~
I expected summer to be better, I couldn't have been more wrong. The house was so quiet without my mom’s music to echo through the house. In the morning when I woke up to a dead silent house I felt broken inside because I knew it would never ever be like that if she were alive. Ian and I would pretend and say Mom was an international spy and couldn't be home because she was saving the world from crime. Ian and I would draw elaborate spy scenes on giant poster paper that Dad bought us. I cried when I found out Ian was going to be going to a different school in the fall. Daddy knew that Ian was like my brother, but my aunt and uncle didn't want Ian to go to my middle school, they said it was a bad school.
Towards the end of summer vacation Dad and I had to start shopping for my school supplies and school clothes. ‘Stupid uniforms’ I thought to myself as I picked out white collered shirts and navy blue pants to try on. ‘Why is everything so long in this section?’
“Hun, maybe you should try the clothes from the kids section?” Dad suggested as I left the dressing room and gave all the clothes to the sales lady. Once again my height has failed me.
“Dad? Why am I so short! You aren't short! Neither is mom…was…I meant to say was.” I added quietly. Dad didn't respond; I didn't blame him. I’d have to ask about my height again some other time. ‘Everything from the kids section fit me, what a surprise’ I thought sarcastically.
~~
Ian sat on my bed as I recounted the shopping nightmare that had occurred earlier today.
“Luz you’re short cause my Dad is short.” Ian stated knowingly.
“But he’s YOUR Dad not mine. Cause your Dad is short you should be short!” I told him annoyed at his stupidness.
“You’re dad is tall but he has short people blood in him too. You got the short part of his blood, not the tall part, that’s why you’re short. It’s called genetics. Brian told me so.” He said trying to explain.
“Yeah whatever just cause Brian told you something doesn't mean it’s right.” I grumbled angry all of a sudden.
“Yeah but Brian is already in 7th grade which means he’s smarter than-“
“Okay! Fine! Shush and braid my hair the way I taught you.” I sighed as I sat in front of him. “When do you go back to school? I start next Monday.” I asked.
“I start the same day” there was a long silence before he said, “I’m gonna miss you Luz.” I could hear the tears in his voice.
“Ian? Please don’t cry, I’m gonna miss you at school too but I know you’ll make friends easy. And you know you can come visit whenever you want.” I turned to face him forgetting about the braid. I wanted to look in his eyes and to let him know for sure, “You’re going to be fine. We’ll both be fine. Okay?” I didn't let him answer. Instead I hugged him. And we both sat in my light pink room, on my rainbow polka dotted sheets, hugging each other as if we were moving to separate states. I didn't know it then but it was soon gonna feel like he actually did move away. In a sense he did. But for now we cried silently and held on like our life depended on it.
~~