The Hard Times

I moved to Baltimore when I was five and it wasn’t a major change for me, since I had always been an American girl. I believe having good foundations as a child solidifies their upbringing, so being born and raised in San Francisco was good for me, as far as I can remember. However, it wasn’t the place where I lived that affected me; it was the people that I lived with.

My Mom and Dad had a pretty happy marriage to begin with. They were your typical high school sweethearts. Fell in love at a young age and decided to get married not so long after. The only problem with falling in love when you’re merely a teenager is that you aren’t as aware or experienced about life itself. There are other complications outside of the school grounds. Financial problems, unemployment and paying a mortgage. Those are some of the problems that my parents had to overcome when they decided to become man and wife and even though it took years, they thankfully made it through.

That was when they decided to have my brother, Lucas. He’s your typical good boy with a bad temper, and I love him to bits. We get on really well which is quite rare for a brother and sister. I mean, we fight and argue, but it has never gotten to the point that the word ‘hate’ was ever mentioned and he would never dare to hurt me.

Unfortunately, it was when I came along when things started to go awry. My father had always been a traditionalist. He liked the men to go out and work and the women to stay at home and cook, but he would never voice his beliefs. It was just the way he was raised. He adored my brother and to him; Luke was his ‘ideal child’. But, I wasn’t planned like he was. In fact, I was just a result of a spontaneous night. When my Mom found out that she was pregnant with me, she couldn’t have been happier and even Luke, at four years old, was excited about having a younger sister. It was just my Dad that had a problem.

To this day, I don’t know what he had against me, but I do know that as much as he said he loved me in front of other people, his actions behind closed doors really showed his true feelings. He started shouting at me and grounding me. I could’ve done something as innocent as accidentally spilling the milk, and he would’ve sent me to my room after giving me a stern telling off. If it was Luke for that matter, he probably would’ve cleaned up the mess for him and then kiss his feet that were contaminated from the so-called poisonous white liquid.

Was I jealous of my brother? Hell yeah. He always got the attention and love from my father that I now believe I truly deserve. But back then, I believed every horrid word he said to me. I believed that every hit, punch or kick that came my way was truly deserved. I was manipulated by him to believe that I really was a mistake.

My Mom would try and protect me from his vicious words and hateful remarks, but it was no good. In the end, he would just end up attacking her as well. Accusing her of bringing me into this world. It was when I was nine that my Mom filed for divorce, claiming custody of Luke and I. That destroyed my Dad. He started drinking and gambling, pining the loss of his wife and son…but not me. About halfway through the divorce, he began to get bitter and vengeful, so he fought for custody of me and my brother, in spite of her. Sadly, he won and we ended up living with him. He cut all contact from my Mother so that we could never see her again and I don’t know how he did it, but if he could fool every stranger who walked into the house that he and I had a good relationship, he could sure as hell fool any judge to give him his kids.

“Liv, get your ass up out of bed. You’re gonna be late for school,” Luke slammed my bedroom door open, before opening the drapes. I winced at the harsh light that pierced into my bedroom.

“God, just…five more minutes,” I moaned into the pillow, praying that he would leave me alone. All I wanted to do was sleep. I guess you could blame it on the fact that I was a teenager, but I knew that it was in my personality. Hell, you should’ve called me Olivia needs-to-sleep Hansen.

“No,” he said firmly, standing beside my bed, “Do you want a ride to school or not?”

Being too tired to muster any word of some sort, I settled for nodding, “Then stop being lazy and get dressed! If not, you can find someone else to drive you.”

I debated over my options before groaning loudly. I hated it when he blackmailed me. Even worse, I hated it when he knew it annoyed me. I sat up abruptly, “Fine.”

He smiled proudly, knowing he had won, “Thank you.”

As he left my bedroom, I reluctantly got up and went to the bathroom, glancing at my clock that hung on the wall. I smiled because I had at least half an hour before I had to leave so I stepped into the shower, and turned it on to one of the highest heat settings so it would instantly warm me up. As the water began to drench my entire body, I surveyed the fresh bruises that lay on my legs, ribs and stomach. The water splashing against them made me wince at the pain, but unfortunately I had gotten used to it. That didn’t mean that I had to like it though.

After I cleansed myself, I dried off and got changed into my grey skinny jeans and black baggy short sleeved t-shirt. It was a little bit warm outside, so I knew that half of the girls at my school would be dressed in the most revealing outfits they could find in their wardrobe, however I needed to cover up and hide the disgusting marks on my body. I didn’t really need to think about how I would go about doing it though. After three years of experience, I was a professional.

I ran downstairs to find my brother waiting for me in the kitchen, drinking a glass of orange juice. He pushed a plate of newly made toast in my direction and I thanked him before taking a bite.

“Dad’s at work. He had to go in early but he told me to tell you to have a good day,” he smiled cautiously at me. I gave a humourless laugh before eating the rest of my toast. Luke frowned but didn’t push the subject any further since he knew about my fond dislike of our father. He was aware that Dad occasionally had his mood swings and took it out on me, but that was all he knew. He didn’t know that he would physically hurt me, and he didn’t know how often he would either. It’s because my Dad would dread it if his ‘golden child’ knew that he was a terrible father, so he always hurt me when Luke wasn’t around. Unfortunately, it recently became a regular thing. Luke was always out with his friends or his girlfriend. But what more do you expect from a seventeen year old guy?

“Shall we go?” I looked up at him as I finished the final bite of my breakfast.

He nodded before picking up his backpack and making his way out of the house and to his car. I followed him and sat in the passenger seat as he turned on the engine. As soon as he did, the sound of Guns N’ Roses flooded through his radio and I smiled as his foot stepped on the gas pedal to drive us to school. He went to the same school as me, but the great thing for him was that he was soon about to graduate. Chances are, he would be picked as valedictorian to give the speech since he was already one of the most popular kids in his grade. He was athletic and smart which made him loved by all the guys as well as the teachers, but the reason why all the girls loved him? He was well built. Chances are, he had enough strength to take on an entire football team. So that was why they loved him.

It wasn’t that I had it bad at high school. In fact, I was probably as popular as Luke. The only thing was that I didn’t really like to trust people so I only had one proper friend. My best friend, Zack. I got on well with him because not only he liked the same music as me; he was the only person who I could actually open up to and have proper conversations with.

As the car pulled into the parking lot, I stepped out of the vehicle and shut the door behind me.

“Have a good day kiddo,” Luke smiled before giving me a high-five.

“You too,” I said as we walked our separate ways. I entered through the double doors into the hallway of bustling teenagers, made my way over to my locker and opened it, picking out the books I needed for the morning.

As I closed it, I jumped in surprise to find Zack leaning against it smiling at me, “Did you know that if you yelled for over eight and a half years, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee?”

I chuckled as I started walking to my first class, “Is that so?”

He started to follow, “Yep.”

“And what is the reason behind that completely useless fact?”

He shrugged, “I had a candy bar this morning and that was what the wrapper said.”

I laughed as I made it to my class room for English, “Ah, the wise words of the wrapper.”

Zack laughed before taking a seat next to me, since we had the same class. As a matter of fact, we pretty much had the same time table which was how I ended up getting to know him. He was naturally a quiet kid who was often mistaken for shy, but after I decided to speak to him, I learned that he really did talk a lot. Sometimes, too much.

“So guess what,” he sat on his desk as I put my feet up on mine. The teacher wasn’t there yet and I had taken that lesson long enough to know that Mrs Larson was always late.

“What?” I asked, taking a piece chewing gum out of the packet I had just got from my pocket.

I offered him some but he shook his head in refusal, “I’ve got an audition for another band.”

A smile lit up on my face, “Really? That’s awesome.”

Zack had been auditioning for a couple of bands but none of them ever accepted him. He always loved playing bass and wanted to make it something more than just a hobby, “But here’s the weird part. The guitarist actually came to my house and asked if I would audition.”

I raised my eyebrow before laughing, “Damn. That means he stalked you, you know.”

He shrugged smugly, “I don’t blame him. I am pretty rad.”

“Or the band’s just desperate,” I smirked as he rolled his eyes and kicked me in the leg.

“Sorry, I’m late class!” Mrs Larson barged in causing each student to sit behind their desk correctly. We all chuckled as she gave a pathetic excuse claiming how her car wouldn’t start when we all knew that she probably overslept, “Right. Let’s get started, shall we?”